Because er hatte Flair

Doug:
Once again, I'm soooo glad I set my panic demarcation at 3 games.

 

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Bill:
So right now there's a half a game between you and complete and total loss of bowel control?

 

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Doug:
Abso-fricken-lutely. How 'bout you?

 

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Bill:
Me? Ah, no sweat. I went and saw Dr. Robert and said, "Doc give me whatevah the fuck Francona is on …"

 

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Bill:
So now I'm rockin' like an autistic with ne'er a care in the world. Tonight we'll go get 'em, you know, rah.

 

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Doug:
You think Manny's coming back?

 

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Bill:
What are you insane!? Manny can't come back because he might get hurt!

 

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Bill:
We need to wrap Manny in bubblewrap like an overripe kumquat and save him for those all-important games next April and May.

 

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Doug:
Seriously. Why win today when you can win tomorrow? Or the day aftah? Or the day aftah that?

 

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Bill:
Rock me Amadeus.

 

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Comments

[snowballa]

I am a Yankee fan but I REALLY enjoy all your comic strips. They are really hilarious. Keep the good work coming.

[Natalie]

Rocking like an autistic? Overripe kumquat? Holy crap, that is funny, funny stuff. LMAO.

Why am I feeling so apathetic about this team? My sine curve where the Sox are concerned has gotten much flatter this season and I am not sure why...

[Harwich Rich]

Forget the Cortizone, all he needs is a shot of Taser like that kid in Fla. :)

[vermonter]

I usually feel very forgiving about Manny and his need for vacations, but this is beginning to wear thin. Nothing is clinched here and Tito needs to tell him it's time to play.

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

One would think that the prospect of a big celebration, replete with champagne, midgets and teletubbies, would motivate this group to play with a bit more intensity. But i'm just not seeing it. Quite frankly, i'm apprehensive about playing the devil dogs this weekend. Those guys are pissed off and embracing the spoiler role.

[tommyct]

Ugh. It's always so depressing watching the Skanks win another while we lose. When will their offense go cold and their pitching get rocked? It's so annoying watching them pull win after win out of their ass with rookies on the mound.

Speaking of Manny..isn't this a contract year for him? What is he doing, playing for retirement? Or is he setting up the jump to the Skanks for huge money?

[Youk Rules]

They'll be OK. They'll win some games.

Even my father, who is the worst type of Sox "downer" and whom I always have to calm down after a loss or slow hook or some shit, isn't really upset.

So, all you downers: keep it real and stick out this shit for a couple more weeks.

[yazbread]

A tight race and I could barely force myself to watch the game last night. I think I am selling off my emotional investment before the market crashes in the playoffs. Best to get out before you get burned.

[Ryan with a capital]

Excellent Beatles' reference, hb.

[vasoxfan]

er hatte Flair OMG LMAO - I guess I am showing my age (and my ability to remember trivia that don't mean shit). For those who don't.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_Me_Amadeus

[h.b.]

Yeah, whenever I see Francona rocking in the dugout, that Falco song comes into my head. Well, that and Rainman.

[Devine]

Didn't watch last night, felt apathetic when I saw they were losing.

I still think they're going to win the AL East (which I desperately want), but it's going to be close. Ah well, I hope it's settled early in the final (Minnesota) series or thereabouts.

[Billy Mahty]

Wow, such pessimism from fans of the team with the BRIB (best record in baseball).

[veronica]

Excellent Falco reference! I owned that single on a tape, good times!
(And now every Sox game, that song will be in my head.)

[Evan]

Don't you forget it, Billy.

I couldn't really watch last nights game either. I just cant stand to watch losses anymore... I think the doom and gloom Sox fans are getting to me, because I'm never like this.

Matsuzaka's start being moved til Saturday? Manny still on the shelf? Do we not care about winning games anymore?

[Devine]

This isn't a response to you, Evan, but to general carping about Manny.

So what you're saying is you don't want him healthy for the playoffs? (Magic number there--wild card style--is 5, by the by.)

When Trot got hurt with this injury, he was out for 23 games (I think) and no one said diddly.

Manny may or may not have been hurt end of last year, but he looked in obvious pain on the single where he injured himself in the last Yankees series in New York. I believe him here, and I believe a healthy Manny is our best shot at the series. There's stuff behind the scenes here we don't know about.

Also, in '05, Manny played in 152 games and hit 45 HR...it was only last year (and in that case, even I as a huge Manny fan had my suspicions) and this year where injury got to Manny near the end.

That said, I really hope he's playing Wednesday, Friday at the latest.

[Devine]

Also, Buchholz is pitching Wednesday's game, and in THAT case, I'm okay with giving Matsuzaka rest/aligning the playoff rotation.

[Kaz]

You know what it feels like...it feels like I'm a Podling. The Skeksis have me strapped in a chair for some sort of baseball-based Ludovico technique, using the Dark Crystal to drain my lifeforce for the continued yet fleeting sustenance of Yankee fans to retain their ageless glory.

Ye gods, make it stop. Just get us the wins to make it stop for even a week before we have to suffer through the postseason!

[Kaz]

Egad, I bargled that html.

[Evan]

"So what you're saying is you don't want him healthy for the playoffs? (Magic number there--wild card style--is 5, by the by.)"

I think he'll be healthy for the playoffs whether he plays today or not. From what I hear he's been taking regular batting practice... which is pretty much ALL he does in games too. I dont care if he jogs around the bases (which he does anyway), I want that bat in the lineup.

Trot is a different story to me. We actually needed him to play defense too. And his bat isn't close to comparing to Manny's. I dont necessarily think Manny is faking an injury, just that the Sox are being WAY too careful with him, which is the point I think h.b. was making as well.

[Steve in MD]

My panic button was set at 3 in the loss column. Sometime last night I pushed it...

Can someone explain to me why Wake is pitching to F. Thomas. The Big Hurt has two 3 homer games in his career - guess who the starting pitcher was both times?

In fact, I'm trying to think of the last time the Sox intentionally walked anyone? Is FranCOMA (I like that, whoever started it) interested in winning games or protecting pitching stats? Maybe we should check his contract clauses!

[Joe in Philly]

To add to the Falco theme, from the Daily Show:

Iraq me Dave Patraeus.

Now the tune is lodged in my head, two-fold.

What's next: Der Kommisar?

[Devine]

Yes, Evan, I want him to play too. But "I think he'll be healthy for the playoffs whether he plays today or not" coming from a fan is not really the same thing as "I'm good for the playoffs" coming from Manny. From what I understand, it's Manny's call essentially.

(BTW, Manny was legitimately excited about playoff races and matchups in August, said Don and Jerry at the time, so I don't think it's lack of committment from him...at least this year.)

What they could do, if Youk is gonna be hurt for awhile, is move Papi to 1st for a few games and have Manny DH. Then keep Ellsbury in left.

[fernsco]

Rather than worry about playoff pitching alignment, I would like to see Wakefield pitch in Tampa where he has never lost. Maybe it would get him back on track as well....

[h.b.]

The characters weren't so much getting on Manny as they were getting on Francona for what they perceive as his very relaxed attitude toward trying to squeeze out wins.

Of course, that is just a fan perspective. It very well me be the case that Francona's "what me worry?" attitude is EXACTLY the right attitude.

But even so, doesn't mean we can't have a little fun with it.

[Sonoma Sox]

worst part about a boring loss:
listening to BJ's announcers..."Ellsbury in ootfield"

need that on-line stream of Doug doing play by play or better, Bob on gout driven vacation

[Evan]

Devine,

Of course I dont know as much about Manny as Manny does... but man, we need him out there. Could mean homefield advantage in the playoffs.

DHing him is a good idea. Nothing wrong with that if hes taking BP and all.

[Bob]

Natalie, those last-game-of-the-season tix we got are looking (unfortunately) more important all the time, no?

1:42 today, Yazbread. What was your line?

[Natalie]

You ain't kidding, Bob. I would really like our tix to be to a meaningless game (in the good way, oh please god don't interpret that plea in the reverse!), so let's win some damn ballgames this week boys, a'ight?

[yazbread]

Bob - no alcohol involved on Monday (or if so, one suspects only in limited quantity) so it would be tough to set the line.

[Jason O.]

Wow, Suntory Yamazaki 18 year...a different animal than the 12 year altogether.

You scotch people should be all over this one.

Also try the San Cristobal...a new stick from the people who brought you Tatuaje.

If any of the above makes sense, you'll be shocked to hear me say that I like the San Cristobal better than the Tatuaje red AND brown label...a bold statement, I know.

A nice symmetry...3.5 in front and 3.5 behind.

[Evan]

Not to keep harping on Manny, but does anyone remember the last time a Red Sox had the doctors clear him to play, on HE doesn't want to be cause he doesn't think he's ready? Isn't it usually that the player wants to play through the injury, but the docs won't let him?

If this were J.D. Drew, everyone would be grabbin their pitchforks....

[Evan]

Please excuse my inability to type out legible posts..

[benschon]

Breathing deeply. Relaxation technique. In. Out. In. Out.

I take the regular appearances of Bryan Corey (who?) over the last 2 1/2 weeks to be a clear sign that the Sox are resting up for the playoffs. Have you noticed the low, low, low pitch counts of the Sox starters lately? Terry "Falco"-na is no dummy.

[Griffin]

//Is FranCOMA (I like that, whoever started it) interested in winning games or protecting pitching stats?//

Wow, so funny and original!

Yeah, Francona's not interested in winning games.

And I thought Yankees fans were stupid.

As for Ortiz at first, no way they're going to do that with his bad knee on artificial turf.

[Kaz]

Oh, Griff? He *wants* to win so badly?

How do you explain his sitting on his ass through that little Gagne-plosion?

FUCK.

Hey, Doug, do me a favor and hit the button.

[Rob in CT]

F--- this! Get out of my way Doug. I'm pushing the f'in button. Dammit all anyway...

[-Di.]

http://bostonist.com/images/go_sox_ledge.jpg

Button has been pushed. I wouldn't be surprised to see the Sox get the wild card. I wouldn't mind the Wild Card if the 2007 Sox were playing like the 2004 Sox.

What is up with Gagne????? *sigh*

[Designated Sitter]

Bollocks. Big fat hairy ones.

[meredith]

Um, I don't know about y'all, but I'm pushing the button now. :P

(Actually I pushed it last Friday night, but nobody listened to me ... sometimes I hate to be proven right. :P)

[buckner was framed]

Ugh. Was at the game last night, and EVERYONE was wondering wtf when he didn't bring in a rested Papelbon to get 4 outs. Especially after Gagne walked in the tying run. Tek was even looking into the dugout as if to say, "NOW?, Huh?" Good thing Terry's building up Gagne's morale for the playoffs