At the water's edge

Doug:
Love the wins and the late inning heroics, but watching the magic numbahs is like watching a lobstah pot boil. Hurry up already.

 

---

Mike:
Hey, I'm just glad to be focused on baseball again aftah the shitstorm I stirred up with Pats' fanboys ovah my "dishonor" comment.

 

---

Doug:
What do you expect from those mouth breathahs who worship at the NFL altah of ritualized violence, sublimated homesexual rape, and Oedipal hostility?

 

---

Mike:
What are you smoking, dude? You love football. And you're a self-professed Rethuglican, repressed homoeroticism and violence is your bread and buttah.

 

---

Doug:
Ah, I love it when you libs paint with your broad brush …

 

---

Doug:
But what can I say, I've got a HardOn for a chick from MoveOn who's been, you know, "nurturing" my innah pacifist.

 

---

Mike:
So she has no clue you voted for Bush and continue to support the occupation of Iraq?

 

---

Doug:
Are you kidding me? A Neuromancer-quoting cripple with herp lip and a case of the crabs stands a bettah chance of getting laid in this town than a Neocon.

 

---

Mike:
Ah, nothing like stahting things off undah a shroud of lies and deceit, how very G.O.P. of you!

 

---

Doug:
C'mon, bro, you know what they say — Politics stops at the labia's edge.

 

---

Comments

[vasoxfan]

wonderful !! Most common sense stops at the libia edge don't cha think? I mean do we (men) use our pe..a as a paintbrush? and paint ourselves into a cornah?

[Bob]

//Politics stops at the labia's edge.//

(In best Jim Backus/Magoo voice)

"Oh, H.B., you've done it again!"

[louclinton]

too deep for me, although I totally agree

so,on this September 13, 2007,I say

fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

love you, love the show

lc

[Scott]

I guess Papi's back/legs are feeling better. Just in time. Will Manny be back in the lineup for the Skankees series?

[jamesfrmmaine]

Hilarous.

The sky above the port...

[Genghis Ortiz]

Awesome...Labia, it's not just for dinner anymore!

Go Sox.

[Billy Mahty]

Why do I feel like the magic number talk could lead to a..... jinx?

[h.b.]

//Why do I feel like the magic number talk could lead to a..... jinx?//

I dunno, maybe because you're desperate?

[Genghis Ortiz]

Just do me a fava...pass the labia's this way...

[Billy Mahty]

Thanks h.b. Like my monitor needed a fresh coat of coffee on it this morning!! Ahaha.. eh, no, that's not it. Maybe I'm just living in a pre-2004 mindset.

[granular_serene]

He never saw Molly again.

[Kaz]

Scott, I was at the game last night and the broken double play that Papi legged out didn't make him look like he's feeling better. I know 2 dingers and all...that was awesome, but the way he delicately walked back to first base from the over-run worried me.

Where the HELL was our bench last night? 8th inning was 7,8,9...and we had to watch Hinske don the pinata blindfold for strike 3 of a 3-up,3-down snoozer. Also, JD Drew will single-handedly lose the post-season on us. I don't know how and I don't know when. But this guy flat out sucks (yeah, I know, he hit around a bit last night...just to have 7,8,9 squander it). That fly ball he honked on Pedroia just told the whole story. By the way, did I mention how badly 7,8,9 did last night...and that Tito musta been sucking down the Nytol since it was "just the D-Rays" or something...

h.b., nice strip today. Some great subtleties...rife with wit. I also like the style-play in the text bubbles. You definitely seem ramped up for this one.

[Kaz]

I may like the Patriots and hate the Colts, Jets, Chargers, and nearly every other team out there...but I wouldn't rip your balls off over it.

Just for a little perspective given yesterday and today's followup strip.

[jdog71]

hb, the final line in todays strip made me think of an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Larry David had a chance to mess around with a beautiful(by his standards) actress in backstage. He spots a photo of Bush on her dressing room table and says "You're a Republican??" and promptly ditches her. She ends up slapping him around a bit.

While I'm on the subject, in the real world, I heard from a reliable source that Larry's wife was bagging the groundskeeper, and Larry is living commune-style with a bunch of folks on the Vineyard, thus the divorce. I only mention it because it could easily be part of an episode. Life imitates art, eh? WWLDD?

[Angry Sam]

Best.

Strip.

Ever.

[Harwich Rich]

Great link Kaz,good thing he was a meat cutter :D

[sox boy]

Worst.
Strip.
Ever.

This stip is at its' best when baseball is the topic, not f-in party politics, war and bathroom stall antics.

Papi's 5 rbi night deserved to be the focus of the strip. Leave the political shit to others, cause it will chase people away from this site faster than JT ran away from Britney . . .

[h.b.]

I love it when people try to tell others what they should write about in a web publication/blog that doesn't charge and doesn't exist, as the comment above suggests, to generate traffic.

If I keep baseball out of tomorrow's strip, too, will you promise to be chased away, sox boy?

Fingers crossed!

[Jason O.]

From the NY Daily News:

RAMADI, Iraq - When members of the government of Anbar Province met with President Bush last week, they presented him with a letter dedicating their success in wiping out Al Qaeda here to the victims of Sept. 11

The letter, which was obtained by the Daily News, was signed by Anbar Governor Mamoun Sami Rashid, Provincial Council Chairman Abdul-Salam Abdullah, and Sheik Sattar abu Risha, the sheik credited with beginning the Anbar Awakening.

"In the month when the terrorists attacked the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, we dedicate the victory of Anbar Province to the families of the victims who suffred that criminal act," the letter said, which was addressed directly to Bush.

"With the help of the president of the United States, we pledge to continue to cooperate and communicate with you to continue to get good results," the letter said.

[Rick V]

I disagree, Sox Boy. There are plenty of other sites out there to focus purely on the baseball. I come here to revel in the blend of Sox, pop culture, current events, local color, crude gags, and urbane wit!

[da kine]

hb, I love the Irish sport of hurling, specifically the Cork Rebels' senior GAA team. I think you should devote a week specifically to them. Sure, it will only appeal to my brother and me, but the customer who pays nada to view the website is always right, no?

[vermonter]

Sox Boy don't get it.

See Jason O's comments of a week or so ago re: Greek tragedy, etc.

[Jason O.]

I find myself wondering where we'd be in Iraq if Petraeus was in charge in 2004-2005.

[sox boy]

wow didn't mean to touch a nerve. Sorry if I offended, I do appreciate the fact that this site is free and has been a must-read of mine for a long time. I guess the point I was trying to make was that this is the first time that I came here and didn't laugh or have fun. again sorry i meant no disrespect to the author, you're one witty cookie and (most days) I enjoy the strip.

[Jason O.]

Vermonter, what I meant was that whenever they will let me I try to have sexual relations with women in the Greek fashion, if you know what I mean...

"There are times when you get suckered in by drugs and alcohol and sex with women, 'mmkay?"

-Mr. Mackey

[yazbread]

I think the last time hurling got any press in the US was the opening clips to ABC Wide World of Sports.

[Colin]

In response to Kaz's post:

I'm a Pats fan too and won't take crap from other fans, but you gotta remember that it's the Midwest/South we're talking about. Those hillbilles (and yes I've been in Georgia and Oklahoma on military matters [MA National Guardsman btw]) take their sports seriously but with a psychotic twist on it.

Not to say I've seen some raucous Fenway Faithful, but those hicks take it one step further. No wonder few up here like those parts of the States.

And I really hope Ortiz has gotten his game back. After all he's been clutch in crushing MFY to a pulp.

[ParkerStPete]

Sox Boy thinks this is a baseball site; to me it's a bunch of rich characters - friends, colleagues, aquaintances - mamy of whom happen to be beyond-rabid Sox fans. It's their other interests, their non-baseball lives,that give the strip verisimilitude and keep us (me) coming back for more.

[Jason O.]

....you don't have to run around addicted to smack/homeless on the streets doing handjobs for crack/take my advice and very soon you will say...it's easy mmkay....

[louclinton]

fuck all yall

lc

[Devine]

louclinton, how dare you!

It's spelled "y'all".

[sfmainer]

Must. Defend. Hive.

[Scott]

JO,

What's your point with the letter?

[Jason O.]

I think I made the point below that post

[h.b.]

No prob, sox boy. I confess to the "you should have covered subject x" to be one of the issue almost guaranteed to rile me.

It's not the critique so much as what I see as a misunderstanding of the concept and the medium.

When you come to the strip you are witnessing just a few moments out of a longer conversation and/or a piece of one conversation of many the characters will have with each other during their fictional day.

So if, say, in a game the day before Wake and Papi and Youks all do something fantastic but the strip/characters only focus on Youks that's because 1) I don't have time/space to do all the topics and/or 2) There is something about discussing Youks that is easier/funnier than discussing Wake or Papi.

And that's the case on any given day with various players and topics.

And when the strip doesn't mention baseball much, it's for the same reasons. Something else just popped into my head that flowed out and was easy/funny to produce.

Today is a perfect example of that.

There isn't any sort of science to doing this, I just wing it. So it's whatever happens to strike my fancy.

But, you can always assume the characters are discussing your own fave topic at some point off screen during their day.

Indeed, right now they are having a discussion about that guy's scrotum nearly being cut off in the UT/OU barfight and wondering "how exactly does one's nutsack come into play during a barfight?" and also wondering "what if the nutsack was named Ditka?"

[birthofasoxfan97]

The UT/OU thing is a sure conversation starter. (BTW, can there be hillbillies in OK, if there are no hills in OK. Rednecks, really. It's bound to be a fine distinction, but that could be another topic.)

The main reason I can't buy into the whole"yankees suck" chant, though I seriously can't stand 'em (Jason - not you, of course)is because in Texas you see all these "A&M Sucks, but OU Swallows" shirts. Really - people wear that crap. It just freaks me out.

[pudge]

h.b. ... on politics, I think it's fun. Although it does suck when it devolves into political arguments in the comments, but I usually don't see that here. So fuck it.

I got into a shitstorm on Tuesday on local Seattle talk radio, and then on TV (where I won an "award"), for my song "Osama Bin Laden, You Ruined My Birthday." People love to tell other people what they shouldn't say or do.

So in my acceptance speech for the "award" that I posted last night, I said what I think of such people. Maybe I'll write another verse for the song: "I don't know what strip I'm gonna write ..."

[Colin]

Oh yes there are hills. I certainly know Ft. Sill has them, they're just not as abundant as northern GA or West Virginia. So I'll admit redneck is a better term.

And with people wearing that crap, yes football over there is almost equivalent to religion. Having to deal with haggard 40-year-old women screaming to the TV with the Sooners game in that ear-piercing twang nearly made me flip my shit.

And yes I don't like the MFY as much as the next guy, though I'll respect their abilities. And from what I found out from a friend of mine at ESPN, Posada's ten times a bigger douche than A-Rod. But honestly, a lot of those anti-MFY shirts we have do have a slight touch of immaturity.

[Bob]

Pudge, I had no idea!

We should write some songs together (I "manage" a couple of crappy indie bands here in Boston).

[vermonter]

Bob, I had no idea!

I'm in an acoustic blues duo (Blind-Lemon Jefferson meets Arlo Guthrie/Tom Waits)that plays in Albany and up here.

Would love to play in Boston. Demo pack on request.

[Jason O.]

had fajitas at lunch washed hands twice, hands still smell like onions...fuck

should have stayed and had more than one beer.

[JeffinDC]

h.b. - i am happily a rabid Rethuglican and i still love your strip. i, for one, found today's strip hilarious. keep up the good work.

if there's one thing we can all agree on is that Mahty sucks Jetah's vienna sausage and the MFY SUCK.

go sox. hit a-fraud in the gnads.

[h.b.]

you should have had a fish taco, j.o. ;)

[vermonter]

Oh yeah, Bob...all demo's include Zele.

[Bob]

Vermonter, send it on down.

I'll get it to Shred.

[Bob]

Oh, you can send your demo, too.

[Kaz]

You know Shred, Bob?

I play roller hockey with him sometimes over in Allston..

Huh, small world.

[Jason O.]

Good mornin america how are you?
I'm the train they call the city of new orleans...

...and that woman left me, the brakeman busted me and train derailed in flames...

Kind of like that vermonter?

[Bob]

I don't know what strip I'm gonna write,

I don't know when J.O. wants to fight,

I don't know if LC is glum or if he's glib,

I just know Soxaholix is one hilarious fib.

I don't know how H.B. does his job,

I don't know how Pinstripe Thunder ever gets a blow job,

I don't know why Buckner chose that name,

I just know that Rice belongs in the Hall of Fame.

I don't know how SDU wins a case,

I don't know how Billy Mahty ever gets to second base,

I don't know how many beers I had last night,

I just know I hate the Skanks with all of my might.

I don't know how Kaz got his PHD,

I don't know why there's blood in my pee,

I don't know why I keep coming back to this creepy site,

Maybe it's because I don't have a fuckin' life.

(I'm here all week. Try the veal.)

[Bob]

Kaz, I've booked a couple of bands with Shred over the years. Good guy.

If you see him sometime soon, ask if he remembers "Japetus." (Shred booked them at Skybar a few times; my best bud was in the band.)

[h.b.]

If I had a payroll, I'd have to put Bob on it. Bravo!

BTW, Bob, you are now fused with sriracha in my brain. Can't think of one w/o the other.

[Aaron]

To me, the fact that the characters will talk about anything under the sun is the biggest attraction. If it was about nothing but Red Sox, Red Sox, Red Sox, we'd all (except for the few Yankee regulars) end up agreeing on everything, and there's nothing more terrifying in the entire world than a group of people agreeing on everything.

[Bob]

I disagree, Aaron.

[Jason O.]

except of course if it's the pussycat dolls agreeing to have an orgy with you.

[Aaron]

A: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
B: No it isn't.
A: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
B: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
A: Yes, but that's not just saying "No it isn't."
B: Yes it is!
A: No it isn't!
B: Yes it is!
A: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.

(short pause)

B: No it isn't.

[Aaron]

Any excuse to break out the Python.

[Bob]

Heh. Sure it's not a Terry "Jelly-um?"

Or an Eric "Idle?"

[chucks]

(In best Jim Backus/Magoo voice)
While in the car on the way to Deep Ellum last night my friend and I were struck by how much Geffner's voice sounds like the late, great Backus. Of course, Magoo would have made a better pbp guy.

[Bob]

Even Natalie Schafer would be better than Geffner.

[Bob]

Chucks, did you eat at Deep Ellum, or just drink? I heard some decent things about their pub grub. (I'm a food nut/foodie/chowhound).

Ate at Flat Iron in the Bullfinch last night. It was really good. Here's my Chowhound review for ayne who gives a damn:

http://www.chowhound.com/topics/440850

[vermonter]

Yeah, or like...

"If you see my baby tell her I don't want a pickle...I just want to ride on my Hard Headed Woman!!!"

[Jason O.]

At the end of the day, you all are nervous re: this weekend with all the Houdini escape acts you've been pulling against TB this week.

That's right, I mean the great Houdini...fuck Blaine and all those other current wussies.

[Bob]

At least we pulled escape acts against TB. In their last series, the Skanks simply lost 2 out of 3 against them.

[Kaz]

Is it really an escape act if it's against the TB bullpen? At some point inevitability takes over, right? Unless you're the Yankees...then you wait until a crucial 2-2 pitch with runners aboard to screw with the Japanese guy's head by having his bat confiscated.

[Jason O.]

A fucking little leaguer could have made that play in right field...lucky as hell, bottom line.

[vasoxfan]

J.O.
You mean we should be a scared because you beat up on Toronto,KC and Seattle? But before that dropped 2 outta 3 to the aame Rays we took 2 outta three from?
Cheers.
But in all honesty as a Sox fan who remembers getting drunk over Bucky Fu--ing Dent, yes unless we are 20 games up I get nervous playing the Yanks. Thats what makes it fun.

[vasoxfan]

>>remembers getting drunk over Bucky Fu--ing Dent,

Actually I don't remember.... I was too drunk!!!!

[chucks]

Didn't eat last night (but cadged a couple malt vinegar fries). Did have a good burger there a couple weeks back, wife had some very good empanadas and the best Bloody Mary either of us have ever tasted (and we've each had many very good ones over many years). I'm more a beer geek, though, and this place is tremendous in terms of selection.

[Natalie]

//Indeed, right now they are having a discussion about that guy's scrotum nearly being cut off in the UT/OU barfight and wondering "how exactly does one's nutsack come into play during a barfight?" and also wondering "what if the nutsack was named Ditka?"//

That's hilarious, thinking of where the conversation goes AFTER the strip ends. Genius. I wish Doug and Bill worked near my water cooler.

FWIW, I thought today's strip was sublime. Doug's MoveOn girl would be shortsighted not to consider dating a Republican- sparring over politics can sometimes presage great sexual chemistry. Or so I've heard...

[soxdownunder]

//Bob, you are now fused with sriracha in my brain. Can't think of one w/o the other.//

me too

[Bob]

Gonna order a big old sausage with peppers AND ONIONS by Gate B on Saturday, and load the sucker up with serious amounts of srircha.

Just as a little appetizer for my Sunday night tailgate.

Menu:

Quail
Memphis ribs
Andouille sausage
Kobe burgers
Rack of lamb
Steaks

[Bob]

BTW, the marinade/glaze I'm putting on the lamb rack is kinda funny:

Raspberry jam blended with....

sriracha.

[Harwich Rich]

What Bob,no veal? ;)

[Bob]

Oh, God no. The veal's horrible. That's why the kitchen always tells me to push it at the end of my act.

(Actually, veal dries up really easily on the grill.)

[Bob]

BTW, Harwich, I had a line about you in the "I don't know" ditty above, but it got left on the cutting room floor:

I don't know how Harwich got so "Rich,"

I don't know why BigBri's such a bitch...

[buckner was framed]

btw, Bob- you may want to bring your own sriracha on Saturday, or go to another vendor (!). He was out of it on Monday when I was there- they were peddling some lame ass generic hot sauce instead. Not nearly as effective the next morning ;-)

[Rob in CT]

Even Natalie Schafer would be better than Geffner.

But not better than our very own Natalie, Bob.

**best Homer Simpson voice**
"Teal... ummmm, teal..."

[COD]

Excellent tunes Pudge. Who such such talent was lurking in the comments here?

And to follow up Natalie's comment. I was VP of the College Republicans, girlfriend (now my wife) was liberal. I'm just saying...

Of course, today we both lean libertarian.

[Natalie]

Rob, I have missed you! Thanks for the bona fides. I am moving to NYC within the next 2 months. I can't even register being a Sox fan in enemy territory. Where are the Sox hotspots near Gramercy? You must know by now!

[Rob in CT]

Hi, Natalie! Moving to NY? Good for you. In spite of every other homeless goober in the City wearing a ball cap with that stolen "NY" on it (the original design was usurped by the Highlanders from the NYPD) it's a pretty fun place to be.

Tough to find a Sox game unless you subscribe to a package. The only sure fire Red Sox bar I've found is up on like 88th (?) and 2nd avenue. Pat O'Brien's - duh, who saw THAT coming? The Riveria Café & Sports Bar on 4th Street I'm told is another, but I haven't made it there yet either. And there's supposed to be one up by my old Alma Mater in Morningside Heights, but, again, I haven't found time to check into it. Unfortunately in that regard, I am living down in Battery Park City right on the Hudson adjacent to the Financial District. Long way to go to watch a game on NESN when you aren't getting out of work until over-late. I've heard rumors of a place down here somewhere, but haven't really had the time to look deeper into it. Perhaps one of our erstwhile lurkers can help us both out...

People are generally pretty good. I proudly wear my "B" cap while walking the Esplanade without repercussions. Always a good sense of fun about the rivalry in the office where I work. Perhaps it's because they're looking up the standings ladder at our collective ass. Surprisingly, the locals seem much more cordial than some of the Yankee asshats I have to deal with in CT. Who'da thunk.

Anywhoo, great to have you closer to the rest of the Nation. Jeez, the idea of moving, though! I have so much sh*t, that I can't imagine having to actually move it all. Good luck with that!

Great hearing from you, Natalie. Best of luck. And pack up that teal dress nice and safe, huh? :)

[Evan]

Im a little disappointed in you Jason. "You got lucky, period". You sound like one of those loser Yankee fans that were saying that shit after the 04 ALCS. Very trollish of you.

[soxdownunder]

I know that nobody cares, and that nobody is awake, and that the Yanks are in town....

... but the Maggies have just come back from 23 points down to draw their knock out final against West Coast Eagles (in Perth, against the odds) and there will be 10 minutes extra time for the second time in the history of history.

I'll get back to you.

[Devine]

I'm with Evan...that's a very, um, bitchy, cat-fight thing to say from Jason.

Dude, Natalie, welcome to the heart of the enemy camp. There's also Professor Thom's on 2nd Ave, between 13th and 14th, which I think is pretty close to Gramercy Park.

[soxdownunder]

Good old Collingwood forever
We know how to play the game
Side by side we stand together
To uphold the Magpie name

See the barrackers are shouting
As all barrackers should!
Oh the Premiership's a cakewalk
for the good Old Collingwood.

I just wish you people understood. I've been as tense as tense for the last 3 hours. I'll take my sausage WITH ONION and sriracha.

Thanks.

[PS Mrs SDU asleep, there's noone else with whom to share. Sad, sad, sad.]

[Gravypan]

soxdownunder,

Oh I understand.

Signed,

Stateside Fellow Member of the Magpie Army

[RonF]

Devine, having had to deal with the people in my company's HQ in Conway, Arkansas I have found out that a) regularity in spelling is a northern invention, and b) "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

[pudge]

Bob :-)

Thanks for kinda words.

I did a song about the Sox once. Video too. It's a modified cover of a song by The Zambonis. The video commemorates the 27-hit performance in Yankee stadium and the song is about how the Yankees suck (was originally about the Islanders sucking).