Tap 3 times ...

Bill:
So it looks like the hype amplifiah for a Red Sox v Yankees meeting has finally been turned down from 11 … I haven't evah been this complacent going into the Bronx.

 

---

Mike:
Seriously, I'm happiah than a Senatah getting serviced in public restroom.

 

---

Bill:
OK. So here's a question for ya — Why is it always the morality pahty that gets caught, literally, with their pants down?

 

---

Mike:
I know. It's like "Excuse me Senator Family Values, but befoah you launch into a tirade about the eeevils of homosexuality could you please take your hand off my penis?"

 

---

Bill:
How about his excuse? "I have a wide stance when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine."

 

---

Mike:
Holy shit, I haven't heard an excuse that lame since A-Rod tried to explain his ball slap move in the ALCS.

 

---

Bill:
Heh, you think Sen. Craig has a "dropping the shouldah move"?

 

---

Comments

[Aaron]

"Excuse me Senator Family Values, but befoah you launch into a tirade about the eeevils of homosexuality could you please take your hand off my penis?"

Thanks. My computer monitor really needed that extra coat of fresh coffee.

[Josh]

[Applause]

[louclinton]

clap clap clapclapclap.

As much as I revere Stanford graduates, could someone stick a fork in poor old Moose and tell him he's done?

lc

[Aaron]

Tell Moose if you want, just don't tell Torrie. We want him to keep sending Mussina out there every five days to get pounded like cheap veal.

[Harwich Rich]

...and he didn't even flush. Oh the humanity :)

[Bob]

On Mike & Mike this morning, Steve Phillips had a good take on Moose. he said that he can win against young, inexperienced teams with no patience at the plate because they'll go after his junk.

More talented, experienced teams just wait on that 87 mph meatball and pound it.

[Bob]

//...wait on that meatball and pound it.//

Which also gets us into the subject of H.B.'s strip today.

[RonF]

O.K., so maybe I'm a day late on this, but I was otherwise occupied tomorrow. Anyway, I'm a Red Sox fan living in the Chicago area. I love the Red Sox but it's sad to see what's happened to the White Sox, I must say. Having said that:

In watching and listening to the games, it was obvious that the Red Sox Nation is real and has a large contingent in Chicago. After the two games on Friday, the losing pitchers said that they felt as if they were playing a road game. Ken Harrelson (he does color commentary for the White Sox) repeatedly noted the large amount of red apparel in the stands. One of my friends, a White Sox fan, was at a game in a suite. They were mostly partying, and he said that every time there was a huge cheer and they turned around to see what was going on, it was the Red Sox scoring, not the White Sox making a play.

The one I really liked; as in every stadium, the cameras pan the crowd for a) attractive women and b) people holding up signs. The cameras could not show any part of the crowd without showing someone wearing Red Sox apparel, especially closeup shots of hitters. Red Sox fans in Chicago apparently make enough money to afford the good seats behind both dugouts and the plate. During the Friday evening game a fan held up a sign that said "Go Sox". My guess is that there weren't very many signs out; I can't think of any other reason why the camera held on it for a good 10 seconds. The rest of the sign went completely over their heads, though. Apparently they had no idea who or what "NESN" is and thought that "Hey Don and Remy" meant that the young lady was saying hello to her uncles.

[Billy Mahty]

I'm excited about this playoff preview. I'll be at Thursday's game, first time seeing the Schill pitch live.

[Youk Rules]

"These go to 11..."

I guess I'm missing the whole Larry Craig angle. What exactly did he do wrong? Not defending him, but it sounds like a lot of circumstantial evidence.

[louclinton]

Um, I think he wanted a guy to blow him. That's unseemly in most states.

lc

[ParkerStPete]

Here's the cop's testimony: "At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot.... The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area. Craig then proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times." Apparently in Minnesota this "lewd conduct" is a misdemeanor. I don't think any of the comments above suggest that consensual behavior between two adults is wrong; what people are complaining about is the typical bullshit conservative moral superiority and hypocrisy.

[Jason O.]

hb, nice Tony Orlando and Dawn reference.

Oh my darlin'
tap three times
on the tile if you want me...
twice on the bowl (tap tap)
if the answer is no...

Oh my sweetness (tap tap tap)
means you'll meet me at the glory hole...
twice on the bowl
if you think vice will show....

[h.b.]

Jason,

Excellent on catching the reference in the title, but even better rewriting the lyrics to the song.

LMAO.

BTW the original lyrics to that song are creepy in their own right.

[Youk Rules]

Had no idea that this nation's dong-sucking citizens had an unspoken "language" of hand signals and foot-tapping. Seems bizarre.

In any case, at least Mussina choked on it worse than Larry Craig.

[Natalie]

Thanks, I now have that song stuck in my head on endless repeat. Great revised lyrics, though.

I am not too worried about Senator Craig. I'm sure with three weeks of counseling, he'll be as completely heterosexual as Ted Haggard.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Haggard

Speaking of completely heterosexual... A-Rod wasn't looking too sharp in Detroit the last couple of days. Here's hoping he brings Craig-esque game to the Bronx toilet tonight.

[Scott]

I love the oldies. Great tune. Nice cover by JO.

Will miss most of the game tonite. We have softball at 6MST. I would not be surprised if the Skanks take game 1 though. AP has been their ace of late.

What a lousy job hanging out in an Airport restroom as an undercover cop? How did that guy get picked for that duty? (had to say it) Glad we are targeting the gays though. So much easier than stopping the next terrorist attack. Seriously this country is messed up.

[pudge]

Hm. Listening to Hillary and Obama and Jim Wallis, I thought the Democrats were the morality party.

All depends on what you think is moral, I guess ...

Bill Mahty, sorry, the Yankees aren't going to the playoffs.

DonF: Red Sox Nation is everywhere!

[h.b.]

Pudge,

Yes, def depends on POV. Both sides parties have their holier than thou types and hypocrites.

"Do as I legislate, but not as I do" sort of thing.

[miketc]

I know I'm late to the pahty, but to echo Aaron's post #1: Holy shit, h.b., you're really on your game today!

Someone please pass the windex!

[Devine]

That's great, Jason O. Magnificent, really.

[Larry Craig]

God, people, can't a man get a bj in peace anymore?

[Harwich Rich]

Senator,as lc said yesterday "bloviate"

[ygbluig]

Craig's bathroom arrest is just the tip of the iceberg.
Apparently, he's into pipe smoking in the boys room.

http://www.idahostatesman.com/eyepiece/story/143801.html

Sen. Larry Craig, who in May told the Idaho Statesman he had never engaged in homosexual acts, was arrested less than a month later by an undercover police officer who said Craig made a sexual advance toward him in an airport men's room.
The arrest at a Minnesota airport prompted Craig to plead guilty to disorderly conduct earlier this month. His June 11 encounter with the officer was similar to an incident in a men's room in a Washington, D.C., rail station described by a Washington-area man to the Idaho Statesman. In that case, the man said he and Craig had sexual contact.

[da kine]

Not to sound too multiculti, but won't it be cool when benders can do as they please and breeders don't bother them? I thought Mr. Sulu coming out signalled a sea change, but I guess living in a socialist state has clouded my view.

Incidentally, I think it is wrong to give or receive a throatjob in public.

[NolaSox]

Natalie, one of the more disturbing sentences in Ted Haggard's wiki is "...he stated his intention to move away from Colorado Springs to suburban New Orleans and, along with his wife, earn a degree in psychology." That's just what Louisiana needs more of, nutjob evangelicals with a drug problem. Mark my words, he will be caught at Rawhide, The Corner Pocket or Oz perhaps at this weekend's Southern Decadence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Decadence

On a related topic, a pollster called last night and asked if I was likely or unlikely to vote for David Vitter. Hah!

love the [email protected] email address.

[Steve in MD]

Sen. Craig sits on the Appropriations Committee - I'm glad my job doesn't depend on pork barrel spending in Minnesota...

[louclinton]

He is in charge of the pork. Some other dude covers the barrel.

[Larry Craig]

"Jiminy God"

"I've been in this business 27 years in the public eye here. I don't go around anywhere hitting on men, and by God, if I did, I wouldn't do it in Boise, Idaho! Jiminy!"

[yazbread]

I would have gone with the Poe reference:

Suddenly I heard a tapping,
As of someone gently ......

[ThirdEyeBlind]

[to the tune of "Taps"]

Larry Craig,
Larry Craig,
Takes The Cock
In His Mouth
Just For Fun.

GOP,
Phony pricks.
All is well.

[Jason O.]

Just saw something funny---

About to join the lexicon:

"He's not gay, he just has a wide stance."

[John Salmon]

I haven't read through all 32 of the comments, but has anyone mentioned Mary Jo Kopechne and the other morality party?

It's okay to kill people, as long as there's no hypocrisy involved.

[John Salmon]

Or, as Frank memtioned at IMAO: http://www.imao.us/archives/008554.html

"I guess Republicans can at least take solace in the face that when this sort of thing happens, we tend to get them out of office. That's why we shouldn't stand for Democrats to say a word about this, because who do they have in office right now? There a globular, drunken mass that drove a car into a river and left a woman to die while he ran for his lawyer. There the guy who had a male prostitution ring ran out of his apartment. More recently, there's the guy with bribe money in his freezer. And which party has a former Klansman as Senator?"

[Lindsay Lohan]

What's wrong with you people?? Leave others alone and stop pointing fingers!

[Youk Rules]

I don't know, John. The Dems may have a former Klansman in Robert Byrd, but the Republicans have a bunch of current Klansmen on their 40-man roster.

[Kaz]

Good night, New York. Tonight you learn to face west towards Detroit and Seattle if you plan on making the playoffs. Your attention to Boston's control on the AL East will no longer be prudent.

[h.b.]

Torre insists they are still playing to win the division.

A win tonight by the Sox sure would put a lot of pressure on the Yanks.

[Bob]

Not to be too much of a, well, of a me, remember that typically after a horrible blowout, the team that was blownout wins the next game.

Not always, of course, Which is why I think I MIGHT just watch tonght...

[miketc]

Kaz / h.b. What's going on? Are you trying to return us to the topic of baseball?

[Devine]

As I have been saying elsewhere on the internet, if the Sox win two in this series, you can chill the champagne (just don't pop the cork till the magic number is zero).

[Bob]

If the Skanks play .600 ball from here on out, and the Sox play .400 ball, guess what?

Sox win the division.

[da kine]

I went to an illicit gay discussion thread and a Red Sox discussion broke out.

[Scott]

Say what you want about ole Ted, he keeps getting reelected.

[louclinton]

Not to veer off into more baseball talk, but I'll be scouting the 2010 RS and NYBlanks at the CDogs/Trenton doubleheader in lovely Portland, Maine tonight. Maybe I'll have some comments about baseball tomorrow.

Although I doubt it.

lc

go saux

[Deepsub]

"He is in charge of the pork. Some other dude covers the barrel."

That's some funny shit! Anyway, can't wait for this series to start. I think the team is loose and ready to do what has to be done. I will also add that this is, pitching wise, the best matchup either team could provide, should be a good test.

I'll only be able to watch maybe the last few innings but I'll have WEEI on for the drive up to Mass.

BTW, any Iowans here? I'm moving to Cedar Rapids in a few weeks for a new job and was wondering if there's any RSN hideouts there. Thanks.

[Deepsub]

It is iowans right? Just wanted to make sure it wasn't iowanians or iowanese. :D

[Mike Vick]

Thank god for Larry Craig

[Larrie Craig]

Right back at ya, Mike.

[Bob]

You guys see how Bridget stuck it to Tom (after he, uh, stuck it to her)?

http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/articles/2007/08/28/bridget_moynahan_reveals_name_of_son_with_patriots_qb_brady/

[Kaz]

Before I click the link, Bob, please please please let the kid be named Peyton...

That would be awesomely up-yours-ish of her.

[Kaz]

Damnit...JET Moynahan. Blah...that's so overly contrived to not make it worth writing about like it means something.

I still say Peyton Moynahan would have been awesome.

[Bob]

Naming him Peyton would have been pure evil though. At least Bridget still stands a chance with Brady. No way if she named the kid after Satan.

Perhaps a good middle ground would have been to name him Drew.

[soxdownunder]

Hey Bob, shouldn't you be at Pete's walming up for the big game?

[Harwich Rich]

SDU-in your Bob.Dr.Kaz,and Buck's honor I grilled sausage,pepper and onions(just a hint of Srirachi)tonight. Here's hoping it scorches the Spankee's collective asses tonight.

[Harwich Rich]

I know it will be scorching mine tomorrow :D

[IkeG]

Bah. That might have gone better were it not for Drew. Chump killed two rallies.

Nice close game, though.

[pinstripe thunder]

One down, seven to go. Damn, this is hard (no, Senator Craig, I was not signaling you).

I know what you're thinking, Kaz. If the Yankees and Red Sox run the tables in opposite directions, it will be because you jinxed the Bosox with your premature ejaculation, "Good night, New York. Tonight you learn to face west..."

You're right, but don't let it haunt you. OK, finished bloviating for the night... Back to watching The Bronx Is Burning on ESPN.