Summer Vacation '07 - Day 3

While on "vacation time," the Soxaholix are well behind the news cycle …

Unidentified Soxaholix character:
Eric Gagne! Eric Friggin' Mr. Magoo Glasses Gagne!?!?!

 

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Unidentified Soxaholix character:
The best bullpen in the Majahs just became the, er, bestestest.

 

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Comments

[maineiacal]

Absolutely nothing wrong with this trade!

Only thing is I wish they would give Pauley an opportunity rather than Bat$hit. Pauley's been dominating AAA more than any other PawSox pitcher.

[COD]

We'll likely need that great bullpen tonight.

[louclinton]

Or Bucholz.

I think Paps was brought up for just one start in 05 just to get a taste for things.

lc

[Youk Rules]

Ugh, Tavarez.

Maybe he can go four strong innings, let Snyder pitch two, and then Okes, Gags, and Paps.

Ugh.

[Bob]

Mr. Magoo. Heh.

(In best Jim Backus voice):

"Oh, Theo...you've done it again!"

[Jason O.]

After winning 2/3 from NYY, BAL carried it forward last night.

I never thought that BAL would be the main spoiler in the East this year, but that little team is putting it together post All-Star break.

[yazbread]

Despite the best record with 56 games to play, why does this team fail to inspire me? Lack of timely hitting? Lack of come from behind wins? Manny and Papi not in sync? I'll take any and all therapy offered.

[Youk Rules]

Yazbread,

Keep it real. bro. Magic number: 40.

[Kaz]

Papelgagnejima!

Save us from Gojira!

[Bob]

If we play just .500 ball the rets of the way, we win 92 games.

For the Skanks to just match that, they have to play .630 ball.

[Kaz]

Yaz, just remember the odds are, we are doing just fine. Not only do we have a 98.4% chance of making the post-season right now, but we only have a 3.8% chance of winning the wild card! We have a greater than 94% chance of finishing in 1st in the AL East...and that's based on past performance this year so it doesn't include Gagne or any call-up contributions (and we probably have the best call-ups in the majors waiting in the AAA wings right now).

Also, predictions are showing us at 98 wins so we're likely to do 6 games better than 0.500 for the rest of the season. I like what we're dishing out, it smells like win.

[Youk Rules]

What will Gagne's nickname be?

Gags? E-Gone? Gagne West?

[da kine]

Papelgagnejima. Priceless, Kaz.

[Scott]

Guess who we met in Denver on Saturday night? Mr. Derek Lowe. The Dodgers were in town. I was in the pissah at Scruffy Murphy's and was talking to some dude. He then asked me if I want to meet D. Lowe. Of course I did. Very nice guy, shook my hand and listened to me babble thanks and praise for 2004. He went on to say that he never wins here in Denver. Then I mentioned we did see him lose last season at Coors Field. When I mentioned that all my Sox buddies were also at the bar, he made a point to say hello and shake their hands on his way out. Very cool guy.

[SoCal BosSox Fan]

I don't know if you could call it a nickname but, when he was the closer for the Dodgers they sold tee shirts with his face and the words "GAME OVER" written above. Some had blue fur on the chin.

[tessie]

I went to look at the Sox official site for info on the trade and saw the results from last night. For a brief moment, I was confused, "The Sox played last night?" Oh right...It's only Soxaholix that's on vacation.

(p.s. I already knew the Sox played last night; don't go thinking I'm some kind of dolt or anything. It just threw me for a second.)

[tessie]

I went to look at the Sox official site for info on the trade and saw the results from last night. For a brief moment, I was confused, "The Sox played last night?" Oh right...It's only Soxaholix that's on vacation.

(p.s. I already knew the Sox played last night; don't go thinking I'm some kind of dolt or anything. It just threw me for a second.)

[Steve in MD]

[Accidently posted this first on Monday's board, so ignore if you've already read it.]

HoF Induction Report:

I went up with 4 busloads of O's fans, part of the huge 70K+ crowd. The tiny village of Cooperstown was overun. Bad weather forecast resulted in bad sunburn. Decent speech by Cal, but struck me as too much of a sales pitch for Ripken Baseball. Much better one by Gwynn.

Classy O's crowd began packing up their stuff immediately after Cal's speech (during the Bobby Doerr commemeration) and the Spink and Frick award winners saw nothing but their backs as they gave their induction speeches.

Lot's of Red Sox regalia in the crowd and in town the next day, (probalby the third largest bunch after Baltimore and San Diego) but very few yankees fans. We spoke to the locals, and they told us that Cooperstown is much more Red Sox Nation than yankee country (but it was selective survey and may not be accurate).

Saw the Bloody Sock up close. It definitely looks like blood - paint wouldn't turn black the way blood does.

Yaz was one of only 8 living Hall of Famers not there (out of 61). I heard that he has never been back. What's up with that? I didn't see any of the Sox that did show up (Fisk, Eck, Doerr, Aparicio, Boggs, Seaver, Jenkins and Marichal) except Orlando Cepada, in the signing booths.

While walking around the Hall, I heard someone loudly complaining that Tris Speaker should be booted out of the Hall because he was a member of the KKK. First I ever heard of that, and have no idea if it's true.

One other thing I had never heard: Jackie Robinson got a tryout with the Red Sox shortly before he signed with the Dodgers. Another good move by the Sox FO.

[Kaz]

Actober - funny video clips from fans reminiscing about the post-season

Thought you all might get a kick out of some of these.

[me in the boonies]

Congrats on that Gagne deal. Hope he can play center field.

[Kaz]

Center field whaaa?

Screw your beanie on tight, son, your brains are leaking out.

[Bob]

His email is "Scooter."

'Nough said.

(Holy cow!)

[ParkerStPete]

I'm sure this is cosmically important: Eric Gagne and John Lester have the same birthday, January 7th. This happens also to be the birthday of my seven-year-old son; it's a day perched between the sublime (the Feast of the Epiphany on January 6th) and the ridiculous (Elvis Presley's birthday on January 8th).

[pinstripe thunder]

SDU -- thanks for the haiku about Okajima-san. I would say that I feel your pain, but you now have two brilliant setup men and we have none (however, remember the name Joba Chamberlain).

Bob, I consider my eyeball duly slit. I will soothe the pain by picturing (with my remaining good eye) your nubile 29-year-old gf as Severin.

Dodgers-Giants was an amazing spectacle last night. I have never seen typically laid back, overbaked-in-the-sun Dodger fans so animated in my life. Dodger Stadium literally shook with thunderous boos every time Bonds came to the plate. Thousands of flash bulbs illuminated the stands every time Bonds made a move. Between innings, battalions of security people lined both foul lines. I haven't seen so much security since John Rocker made his notorious, post-Sports Illustrated return to New York. It was magnificent theatre.

As for Red Sox-Yankees, you had a chance to put us away back in May when we were on the ropes. With healthy arms and a little luck, I think we may still give you a division race.

PT

[Kaz]

You're halfway to being a Red Sox fan, PT. Keep hinging your hope on that irrational 5% chance that the Yankees will take the division instead of focusing on the fact that you're not even odds-on favorite to win the wild card at this point...

Also, ParkerSP, it's actually a 70% chance that within a group of 30 people (25 plus let's say 5 coaches in the dugout), any 2 of them will share a birthdate (month/day, not year). It has to do with how many times you can randomly choose a number between 1 and 365 without choosing the same number twice.

Very famous, the Birthday Paradox.

[Bob]

PT, good stuff.

I do hope you realize my gruff exchanges are all in good fun.

Ask Yaz or Buckner or SoxDownUnder. I'm actually kind of a silly buffoon.

You'd never guess that from my comments, now would you?

[Bob]

Make that Kaz.

Speaking of whom, he's statifying us today.

And while I'm not big into cipherin', it's pretty interesting stuff.

[soxdownunder]

This rings true Kaz as Sportscentre educated us last night (AEST) that the finalists in the unbelievably irritating and stupid 'Who's Now' bracket share the same birthday. Thank heavens that (Who's Now) will be over soon - whoever came up with the concept should be shot, hung, drawn, quartered, whatever.

Wonder which Hooligan will show up tonight?

[soxdownunder]

Silly perhaps Bob but I'd draw the line at 'buffoon'.

[KC]

can he hit?

[soxdownunder]

dunno, but he can drink

[soxdownunder]

... and I suspect, even when drunk, he would have a better chance against a curve ball that WMP

[Bob]

I could hit anyone's fastball, but no one's curve, unfortunately.

The damn ball actually curves!

It's just not fair.

[Youk Rules]

We need to see more of these type wins.

Why do I am on the verge of throwing my computer out the window after I see WiMP wimp out?

[Natalie]

My father (a high school baseball coach) actually developed an unhittable killer curveball late in his life that he unleashed on his players in batting practice- much to their frustration and amusement. They even nicknamed it the Yellow Hammer.

Okay, there is no point to that story...

YR- I am with you. I nearly put the remote through the TV after WiMP's at bat with the bases loaded. When are we going to declare the Wily Mo experiment a failure and move on???????

[buckner was framed]

especially since it's after the trading deadline, i.e., no need to showcase him any more? Wouldn't Hinske be a better option all-around? Was at the game last night, and WiMP had three rally-killing ABs that totally deflated the crowd. And he needs an air traffic controller to track a fly ball in a straight line

[Harwich Rich]

He certainly seems to have nine lives, I'd have figured him for gone a long time ago.

[pinstripe thunder]

Natalie -- whenever women discuss curves, there's a point. As for Wily Mo, you'll never give him up because his name is too cool. It's like Coco Crisp or Oil Can Boyd.

[Natalie]

pt- "whenever women discuss curves, there's a point"- now that's a nice double entendre. ;)

Can we now start calling WiMP WHY-lee Mo, since, like the Coyote, he is unbearably inept and NEVER DIES?

[yazbread]

Me yesterday - 'Lack of timely hitting? Lack of come from behind wins?'

Maybe this is like room service - air a complaint at Soxaholix and the team takes care of it.

OK, so how about 'why can this team ever deliver run support for Wake'?

[pinstripe thunder]

I thought so. :-)

[buckner was framed]

Wile E. Mo... I love it! With an exploding glove by Acme, of course

[Bob]

That Wile E. Mo is really a crazy clown,

When will he learn he's always gonna get mowed down?

Poor little Base Runner never goes anywhere,

Just stuck at third while Wile E. stands and stares.

[Bob]

(I'm here all week. Try the veal.)

[buckner was framed]

See? Buffoon really is too harsh a description, Bob... jester is way more appropo ;-)

[Bob]

Thanks. I...think. :)

[buckner was framed]

On another front, what's with the Evian bottle in hb's vacation pic? You don't suppose he's 'vacationing' at Promises with Lindsay, do ya? Or, since Brady is tied up this week, he's Bridget's Lamaze coach?

[Bob]

And why is he reading a romance novel?

[Follower of Tito]

Okay, aside from the fact that Wile E. Mo was killing trading deadline buzz for Gagne (pronounced here in western Mass as Gag-knee) but my Québécoise girlfriend informs me that I have been wrong my entire life (hey, my grandparents are all from Ireland...what do I know from French!)Evidently it is Gone-yeah, and it is derived from the French verb "gagner" which means "to win"...coincidence...I think not.

[buckner was framed]

didn't we have John "Gone-yeah" Wasdin on this team at one time?

[Bob]

My little nephew actually though Wasdin's last name was Waybick.

No kidding.

[Youk Rules]

Bob, I'll see your couplets and raise you a few of my own:

"Wily Mo"

Wily Mo Pena, he can't wield a bat,
And can't run the bases because he's too fat

He's got a strong arm so he can throw home,
(Gosh, how I do enjoy writing this poem)

He'll be lucky to find a ball in the glare,
But most of the time can do nothing but stare

They said that he'd be the next David Ortiz,
The power? The fight? The guts? Puh-lease!

“What's the problem?” I ask you, “What is his case?”
His crime's always the same: ten men left on base

“Base hit!,” we all cry, in a single, hoarse voice,
But Wily grounds into a fielder’s choice

Just make contact, Wily Mo, show us some brio
Why wasn’t he traded? Don’t know, let’s ask Theo

Natalie, Bob, Yaz, Kazbread, and Lou,
Watch out, Wily, or they’ll pillory you

Look sharp out there, WiMP, and start to play smart,
Your success or demise will be noted by Hart

[buckner was framed]

Wile E. is sitting today. Hinske in right. Hope everything's OK with Nancy's son

[Kaz]

Clemens - 1.2 innings, 9 hits. Faced 15 batters and then sat down.

Well then. Fark you, Rogah. Keep up the suck, you overpaid bastahd.

[Bob]

The Roadrunner theme song has a weird cadence. But you nailed it, Youk.
Although I would have personally used poetry slash lines for the Skank fans so they'd understand.

[Youk Rules]

Hmm, didn't know they could read...

[Bob]

Well, they could at least use spoons against their knees to play along to the beat.

[buckner was framed]

Bob-
they eat with their fingers, remember? That's why they're always drying the middle one off

[buckner was framed]

Kaz-
I believe that was 1.2 inn, 9 hits AND 8 runs, thank you.... hee, hee

[Natalie]

Yeah, but the mother-humpin' Yanks scored 8 in the bottom of that inning. Kinda dulls the Clemens schadenfreude - not to mention, we gave back 3 and are tied ourselves. Both those situations better bang a U-ee... fast.

Anyone else getting jackshit done at work this afternoon? :)

[Bob]

No.

But I have a meeting in 5 minutes.

Idiot scheduling.

[buckner was framed]

Nat-
what tipped you off?

;-)

[Youk Rules]

Mirabelly, 3-3.

Who knew?

[Youk Rules]

Cora, 1-2 with an RBI.

Who knew?

[buckner was framed]

Yankees suck.
Who knew?
Oh, wait.... scratch that

[Natalie]

I (heart) Pedroia.

[Youk Rules]

Did you notice that Gabbard got the "L" today?

[tessie]

Is this Soxaholixless week almost over?

[soxdownunder]

Wile E Mo - I love it. But I'm still just gonna call him 'Bob'. Day games make my mornings so much less stressful - I wake up and they've won. Just have to root against New York for two innings.

[Bob]

Skankees lose! Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Skankees lose.

[soxdownunder]

Go for it Bob.

[Bob]

What's that announcer's name?

He's nearly as abhorent as Michael Kay.

[IkeG]

John Sterling. He and Suzyn Waldman got quite a thrashing on ESPN radio today. It was actually kind of mean ... "I could walk down the hall and find at least 15 duos that would be better at calling a game than those two".

Needed that one-game pickup. KC going to NY and us going to SEA. (Wile E. holds up sign that says "Yipes!")

[Devine]

Natalie--yes.