Voices...inside my head
Bill (thinking to himself):
Bill's Inner-Pessimist [BIP]: Are you believing this? Can you friggin' believe The Red Sox are collapsing again?
Well, of course you can, because these are your Boston Red Sox and that's what they always do.
Bill (thinking to himself):
Bill's Inner-Optimist [BIO]: Hey, you know that's not true. 2004? Hel-lo!
Bill (thinking to himself):
[BIP]: Ah, yes, the one, only, single, solitary time in your entiah life where things went swell. But that was way back when wasn't it? Back when the offense just scared the bejeebuz out of everyone. Now? Not so much.
Bill (thinking to himself):
[BIO]: C'mon, Bill, considah the chaht you saw on SoSH.
Bill (thinking to himself):
[BIO]: "The graph of the data shows that teams which end up with similar winning percentages usually have a streak of between 40 and 75 consecutive games during which they win and lose equal numbers of games."
Bill (thinking to himself):
[BIP]: Ohfercrissakes! Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
[BIO]: Don't listen to that. It's fine. The Sox are just in a completely normal slump.
Bill (thinking to himself):
[BIP]: Slump? Or regression to the team's true talent level of 'the suck'?
Bill (thinking to himself):
[BIO]: The 2004 Red Sox had 82 games of .500. Games 22 to 107. The 1998 Yankees were a .500 club from Games 119 through 156 (August 14 - September 21). Imagine that &mdash the juggernaut Yankees a .500 team down the stretch.*
Bill (thinking to himself):
[BIP]: This .500 club is getting clobbahed by the shitty teams — At home no less. And Dice-K is all of a sudden wild …
Bill (thinking to himself):
Bill's Libido [BLIB]: Ah, excuse me. Pahdon the interruption but as "an average male" Bill here is supposed to think about sex at least every 7 seconds … But I can't do my job if you two Red Sox fanboys are going to go on and on like a couple of school girls on MySpace …
Ah, there you go … Catholic MySpace chicks in plaid mini skirts …
Bill (thinking to himself):
[BIP]: The Red Sox are gonna ruin your summah!
[BIO]: No so. There are just too many guys who are underperforming their career numbers, they simply can not all have declined at the same time.
Bill (thinking to himself):
[BLIB]: OK. I see how it is. The Catholic School Girl fantasy has become mundane. Duly noted. Let's try something else …
Tina Cervasio … Think about it — She used to root for the Yankees … She's been a very, very bad girl. She needs to be punished.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Now that's what I'm talking about!
They're giving me a harrrrd attack!
Posted by: Youk Rules | 2007.07.20 at 09:40 AM
Heh. Libido? After a Red Sox loss? My girlfriend is smart enough to avoid me at all costs after a loss.
Now after a win, well, then I become Dirk Diggler. Kind of. (I'm half Irish.)
Posted by: Bob | 2007.07.20 at 09:47 AM
When I close my eyes, I see this thing, a sign, I see this name in bright blue neon lights with a purple outline. And this name is so bright and so sharp that the sign - it just blows up because the name is so powerful... It says, "Dirk Diggler."
Posted by: Jason O. | 2007.07.20 at 10:04 AM
Stick a fork in em. Don't look now but the Tigers just swept the Twins.
Sox still might make the playoffs but would get bounced in the 1st round.
Consider me off the bandwagon in July. I don't like what I see at all from this team.
Where does Merriweather fit into the secondary this season...
Posted by: Scott | 2007.07.20 at 10:06 AM
Well H.B., although the current Sox funk is excruciating, at least the old-school Police references are keeping a smile on my face. Listening to the box set lately? Or did you just see them on tour?
...echoes of things that you said...
Posted by: Columbus-SF | 2007.07.20 at 10:18 AM
Giant gulps are what I take...drinking like Keith Moon
Posted by: Harwich Rich | 2007.07.20 at 10:37 AM
My inner optimist won out over my libido last night - I was watching an Uma Thurman movie during the rain delay and swithched to the game when it came on - wish I hadn't...
Posted by: Steve in MD | 2007.07.20 at 10:42 AM
From SOSH
http://sonsofsamhorn.net/index.php?showtopic=20927
//The 2007 Red Sox have, at the moment, a winning percentage of about 0.600. The graph shows that teams which end up with similar winning percentages usually have a streak of between 40 and 75 consecutive games during which they win and lose equal numbers of games.//
Posted by: COD | 2007.07.20 at 10:43 AM
Wierd.
That chart is the kind of thing I'd be likely to do if I posted on SoSH. Further, my original net-name was StupendousMan way back in 1994 when I hit the usenet to stir crap up on alt.flame and a few other local newsgroups.
However, that is not my chart/post/login at SoSH. But I think I have a doppelganger.
hb, you should think about having little "shoulder angels" for those inner voices. You could make BIP a NYY logo, BIO a Boston B logo and BLIB a pair of floating bazongas (slung in a bra for that Safe For Work feeling).
Posted by: Kaz | 2007.07.20 at 11:07 AM
10-18 vs the AL since May.
Posted by: pudge | 2007.07.20 at 11:23 AM
kaz, from yesterday: Nah, pudge, I think he's more talking about names like BobStanley (never seen it before really) and the return of Mahty (welcome back, we've missed you for the past 11 months) and even J.O. is getting a little snarky with his A-rod comment.
I post here every week or so..... whatever.
Posted by: Billy Mahty | 2007.07.20 at 11:29 AM
Oh and not to beat a dead horse, but the Sox had a LOSING RECORD AGAINST THE AMERICAN LEAGUE in 2006.
Our overall record against the AL this year is 44-33, .571, which isn't too far from our overall of .589, compared to last season, where a 16-2 NL record is all that saved us from oblivion.
But this to me tells the story ... we lose when it matters most. Papi and Manny don't get the knocks when it matters most. Starting pitchers are pitching well, then giving up big innings. I don't agree with BIP that we have regresses "to the team's true talent level of 'the suck,'" but rather, that we are just playing way below what we should be playing.
But what's worse is that I have been watching "The Bronx is Burning" on ESPN (ahem, sorry, ESPN HD) and find myself rooting for Billy Martin and Thurman Munson.
But, only because my dog told me to.
Posted by: pudge | 2007.07.20 at 12:20 PM
I am so glad I recently sprang for a flat screen. Nothing like losing in hi-def.
Luckily for chicks the libido and Sox fan-girl stuff are not at odds. After all, those games are still 3 hours of good-looking men in tight pants stretching and lunging and squatting and....okay, I take it back. Hi-def is awesome, despite the losing. :)
Posted by: Natalie | 2007.07.20 at 12:44 PM
//I am so glad I recently sprang for a flat screen. Nothing like losing in hi-def.
Luckily for chicks the libido and Sox fan-girl stuff are not at odds. After all, those games are still 3 hours of good-looking men in tight pants stretching and lunging and squatting and....okay, I take it back. Hi-def is awesome, despite the losing. :)//
And the boys have Tina!!
Posted by: vasoxfan | 2007.07.20 at 12:57 PM
Bill, since Sheffield has conclusively proven that Torre is a racist, (despite the fact that Bob Watson is his best friend and countless other black players never reported a problem) let me atone for the entire Yankee organization, in my own small fashion, with the words of the great Reverend Jesse Jackson:
Keep hope alive!!
Posted by: Jason O. | 2007.07.20 at 01:09 PM
Just out of curiosity, does having a "friend" from some other race/creed/whatever automatically grant you immunity from being a potential bigot?
Not saying that Torre is a racist, of course, just wondering about the cause/effect of the "friend" thing.
Posted by: h.b. | 2007.07.20 at 01:36 PM
Did anyone see George Kimball's wonderful/great/superb article in the Herald today concerning John Daly at the British Open?
It's fabulous. Anyone under, oh, say 35, should read it to get a gist of what sportwriting used to be. Informative, entertaining. Yet tabloidy in a good way.
Read the whole thing. Every paragraph (or at least every other one) is a bon-bon of sports journalism.
http://sports.bostonherald.com/golf/view.bg?articleid=1012382
Posted by: Bob | 2007.07.20 at 01:40 PM
Simply using available cumulative evidence to refute a smear: Consider the following...sorry to take you back to a bad memory, but in 2005, when NYY clinched the AL East at Fenway:
Torre is being interviewed on the field, and gets emotional when recalling the 10-19 start, et al. Gary Sheffield comes up and PUTS HIS ARM AROUND TORRE's SHOULDER to support him as he wipes a few tears away and finishes the interview, looking for all the world like he and Sheffield are brothers in arms and/or lifelong friends.
Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit, Gary.
Posted by: Jason O. | 2007.07.20 at 01:47 PM
Great link/story, Bob. Thanks.
And you gotta love Daly.
Funny I had the leader board up yesterday on my computer at work (yes, I'm a closet golf watching/following fanatic for the majors at least) and saw him go into the lead and I said to a coworker, "Oh, boy, this is going to get crazy..."
And then it did.
Posted by: h.b. | 2007.07.20 at 01:48 PM
h.b. Yes, it totally immunizes you, which is why I desperately need a new black friend: my old one is getting uppity, and I am headed into the city next week and need the protection.
Posted by: pudge | 2007.07.20 at 01:56 PM
I would like to point out that I got double nut-punched yesterday, as following the Sox loss, I popped in the recent Cork-Tipp All-Ireland hurling matchup, which resulted in the stunning defeat of my beloved Rebels. What's next, SciFi channel lets Battlestar Galactica go away after one more season?
Posted by: da kine | 2007.07.20 at 01:58 PM
I post here every week or so..... whatever.
Wrong, Mahty...but at least you've both got the same assumptive self-importance about you.
I was talking about the comic character, Marty Silverstein, showing up to rag on Bill (which usually draws out a number of the lurking NYY trolls like he's their cult leader or something...and only when that voice shows up in hb's head for the day's strip do they gather the strength to voice out).
Posted by: Kaz | 2007.07.20 at 02:01 PM
BLIB:
How about Tina in a plaid mini. With a grey cable knit tied around her shoulders. And maybe some librarian glasses, too..... Now we're talkin
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2007.07.20 at 03:31 PM
OK, I just realized I'm gone past addressing the characters as if they're real and moved right on to addressing the character's libido as if it were real... and capable of conversation. Kaz, help me- I need new drugs
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2007.07.20 at 03:33 PM
I love the librarian look, too. Some of the worst movies ever made had that classic scene where the "homely" librarian takes off her glasses, lets down her hair and shakes it, and viola! From frumpy to hot in three seconds.
BTW, I tried to do that, but it didn't make any difference. Other than the fact that I now like to wear scrunchies.
Posted by: Bob | 2007.07.20 at 03:52 PM
Bob, Sounds like you're describing Amalie Benjamin.
I almost had BLIB refer to her instead of Tina. But figured Bill was actually more of a Tina guy.
Posted by: h.b. | 2007.07.20 at 03:56 PM
Yeah but you've got that Tim Robbins thing goin' on there, Bob. Wait, I guess that means you like to wear garters too, eh?
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2007.07.20 at 04:09 PM
Oh yeah! Garters look hot on my gams.
BTW, I play Edna Turnblad in the new movie version of "Hairspray," so I can probably get everybody tickets.
Posted by: Bob | 2007.07.20 at 04:13 PM
Bob that classic scene you describe happens here every time Circle is portrayed outside vs in the office... yum. Damn- I'm doing it again!
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2007.07.20 at 04:13 PM
4:13 on Friday.
Explains this little tangent, no?
Posted by: Bob | 2007.07.20 at 04:14 PM
Bob- rose goes in the front, big guy.
Posted by: Natalie | 2007.07.20 at 04:46 PM
why, am I supposed to be working right now?
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2007.07.20 at 04:50 PM
Natalie, if I were drinking coffee, it'd be shooting out of my nose right now. :)
Posted by: Bob | 2007.07.20 at 05:02 PM
//why, am I supposed to be working right now?//
Buck, the only reason I'm not shooting coffee out of my nose right now is because I'm drinking beer (Friday after 4:30, they let us pound 'em down).
So, AT work? Yes. Working? No.
Posted by: Bob | 2007.07.20 at 05:07 PM
gotta love a job where the water cooler is filled with Harpoon...
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2007.07.20 at 05:16 PM
It's very early in the morning to be contemplating Bob ('big guy') in garters.
Posted by: soxdownunder | 2007.07.20 at 05:21 PM
I wouldn't talk there, wig head ;-) But I see your point- it does paint quite a picture, doesn't it?
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2007.07.20 at 05:38 PM
It's all natural I'm afraid...How's Lisa?
Posted by: soxdownunder | 2007.07.20 at 05:49 PM
sweet as ever, thanks. And I was making a lame attempt at humor re: your occupational wardrobe. Did Mrs SDU survive the home renovations OK?
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2007.07.20 at 05:59 PM
A bit slow I'm afraid!! Mrs SDU survived ... just but she's having difficulty with the red sox slump. She just keeps saying, over and over, here we go again. She never really recovered from Aaron F'ing Boon - she still can't watch the last few scenes of 'Still We Believe' and even 2004 didn't help much cos she thinks, like the moon landing, it was staged.
Posted by: soxdownunder | 2007.07.20 at 06:06 PM
"... she thinks, like the moon landing, it was staged. "
And no doubt Elvis is alive and well and performing at the Opera House?
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2007.07.20 at 06:19 PM
Well, he (EP)is but on the steps.
Posted by: soxdownunder | 2007.07.20 at 06:22 PM
BIO: bats to come alive, Contreras to get shelled; Jackson (1 and 9) to beat Yanks.
Um...
Posted by: soxdownunder | 2007.07.20 at 06:28 PM
... make that Jackson (2 and 9). BIO rules.
Posted by: soxdownunder | 2007.07.20 at 11:03 PM
SDU:
I am Impressed! will you be joining Dionne Warwick's psychic line soon? I want you as my personal crystal ball....
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2007.07.21 at 09:48 AM
Ok, so I know it is Sunday and no post, but after two encouraging victories, with the low end of the order picking up the slack, life is better.
Crisp and Loogie on fire - Crips with 10 rbis over the weekend??? - doing what they are getting paid for, brings much joy to RSN. Only one left to contribute is Nancy.
While not a huge Tito fan, most previous skippers probably would have panicked or kept them out of the lineups (there are the economic/fan factors to answer to, of course). So hats off to him and Theo for not freaking out.
Too soon to celebrate, a victory today would be most gratifying, but simply carpe diem-ing a little!
Posted by: Genghis Ortiz | 2007.07.22 at 02:51 AM
To be fair, Nancy hit a 3-run jack to start the game Friday but the ump was a tool...which turned it into a 1-run double and a Manny base-running gaff.
Posted by: Kaz | 2007.07.22 at 09:18 AM
I'm still not sold on Nancy. Looking and sounding too much like Carl Pavano.
Good job by the fellas, 3/4 beating a team that they should beat. Great bullpen work. As long as the offense keeps cranking the mojo lives...
Keeping the Faith.
Posted by: Genghis Ortiz | 2007.07.23 at 05:49 AM
Okajima san:
Shut down the bloody white sox.
Winter here is cold.
Posted by: soxdownunder | 2007.07.23 at 08:18 AM