Smelled like... victory

Bill:
Those NOTY folks are still at it. This time going through the National Spell Bee contestant names and, quite frankly, give us one of the funniest lines evah.

 

---

Mike:
What the hell did people do for humah befoah the interwebs?

 

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Bill:
I tell ya, the world was a cold, sullen, and morose place back in those days.

 

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Mike:
Speaking of the morose, gotta love Mazz pointing out Clemens predicament of being stuck with the Yankees now.

 

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Bill:
I dunno. Mazz's premise that Clemens is "kicking himself now" rests on the shaky assumption that Rogah Clemens is of a rational and sane mind.

 

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Bill:
But let's face it, the hormone and steroid addled Clemens is anything but. I bet you dollahs to donuts Clemens fully believes he and he alone is the only man on Earth for this mission to save the Yankees.

 

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Mike:
Yeah, you've got a point. Clemens is baseball's version of Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Now.

 

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Bill:
Seriously. He's all fat and happy worshipped by his tribal minions and fully convinced he's a God.

 

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Mike:
"Are you an assassin? "

 

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Bill:
Hell, yeah, we are Col Clemens-Kurtz … And the Red Sox lineup isn't what you'd call errand boys, sent by grocery clerks.

 

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Mike:
We've got your horrah right heah, Rogah.

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

One of my favorite movies of all time-great lines throughout.

[Youk Rules]

Maybe Roger will inspire the Yankees...to play .500 ball, that is

[louclinton]

"I love the smell of a 5-tool-taht in the morning.

lc

[Harwich Rich]

It smells like...

[yazbread]

This weekend series ...

We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Pig after pig. Cow after cow. MFY after MFY.

[Bob]

LC, after seeing a pic of A-Fraud's stripper ho, I think she's a 4-tool-taht. The three traditional holes, plus that gi-normous proboscis.

"Hey, dDeek, I did her left AND right nostril last night! I'm the Man."

[Natalie]

Yes, yazbread... Terminate with extreme prejudice.

Great strip.

[dustysglove07]

Oh man, the shit piled up so fast in Yankeeland you needed wings to stay above it

[vermonter]

/"I love the smell of a 5-tool-taht in the morning./

OMG lc...brilliant, Man.

[vermonter]

One of my fave scenes is when the boys are all singing "Tracks of My Tears" at the party. Apocalypse Now is definitely in my personal Top 5 of all time.

[RonF]

Speaking of shit piling up for the MFY: just how bad is Jeter's injury? Can the MFY recover from this? I'm not in favor of gloating over any player's injury, but does anyone have any idea if past steroid abuse would have potentiated this kind of thing?

[Bob]

RonF, do you mean Juice-ambi?

I hear he's out for 2 months. Funny how that "injury" happened right after his meeting with the commish.

[Bob]

Actually, it appears he's done for the year:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/06012007/sports/yankees/chasin__with_no_jason_yankees__george_king.htm

[Youk Rules]

What's everyone's take on the weekend's pitching matchups?

[Bob]

Wake's due for a win against the Skanks, but they're obviously going to be desparate/pulling out all the stops (and "mines") they can.

We're going up against their top three pitchers (heh), but if Wake wins tonight, "don't let us win tomorrow."

[da kine]

Was it petunias that Brando was railing on about in Apocalypse Now? I can't rightly remember. If it was, insert joke about Jeter liking flowers here.

[Griffin]

h.b., just fyi on Youk's blog - heard him on EEI either yesterday or the day before, and he said he phones his comments to someone at MLB, and they post it.

C.J. Wilson, the Rangers pitcher, has a blog at MLB that's provided some interesting reading. Wilson's a free-spirited sort, and I have no doubt he's doing that all himself.

[vermonter]

Me thinks the "Tracks" song was in one of those other war movies. Been a loooong week. Brain...turning...to...mush...

[da kine]

Tracks of My Tears was on "Platoon", no? Charlie Sheen smoking the ganja throught a shotgun and that?

[Harwich Rich]

It was the other Sheen family epic-"Platoon" Now if you'll excuse me I gotta get me some MANGOS :D

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

Kevin Youklis in the Martin Sheen role. Dustin Pedroia in the young Harrison Ford spot. Curt Schilling as Robert Duvall, of course. Manny as Laurence Fishburne. Hey Rod as Dennis Hopper.

And the 5-tool taht as one of the Playboy bunnies.

[vermonter]

Ah yes, Platoon.

It's funny, as I was writing that comment I thought to myself, "Ha...wouldn't it be funny if you got this scene mixed up with another movie, that sure would make you look stupid".

Uhhhh...ya...

Grey Goose up 4 olives please.

[h.b.]

NYT headline June 1:
"Now Batting for the Yankees, Lindsay Lohan"

Soxaholix character speech 4 days earlier on May 29:

"All this and the Yankees continue to play like Lindsey Lohan driving home from a night of pahtying."

Seems the Times is about just as behind as the Yankees these days.

[da kine]

The NYT makes the Globe look like liveblogging. Shiiiiit. If it weren't for their wire services, it would compete with Newsweek.

[Jason O.]

no da kine, it was gardenias.

hb, don't corrupt great movies and twist them to your Red Sox cause again.

BTW, if anyone's ever seen the documentary about the making of AN, Heart of Darkness, it's better than the movie itself.

BTW2: Sir Georg Solti and Chicago Symphony Orch's versions of Ride of the Valykries are the fucking best.

[Jason O.]

sorry, that's Hearts of Darkness.

[h.b.]

Sorry for the corruption, JO. But you've got to admit, Clemens has a lot of Kurtz in him.

[pinstripe thunder]

h.b. et al. I would tread carefully with perjorative comments about the NYT before we get into a "who's your daddy?" paternal lineage discussion about the Boston Globe, Boston Dirt Dogs and the Red Sox themselves, for that matter.

Jason O is right. Hearts of Darkness WAS brilliant and better than Apocalypse Now (just like Fitzcarraldo was better than Aguirre... Wrath of God), although the opening montage of Apocalypse Now, complete with the choppers, napalm and "The End" was one of the best in cinematic history. The apocalypse is nearer at hand now than at any time in recent history, at least since MJ married Elvis' granddaughter and the Stones licensed their music to Microsoft commercials. The horror, the horror... enjoy your weekend. I don't expect to...

PT

[PJ]

Anqi Dong???

I think that's a winner for this weekend's best heckle!

Still laughing...

[pinstripe thunder]

BTW, HB, enjoyed the "national spell bee contestent [sic] names" reference... assume that was deliberate. Nothing gets by Vanilla Dong.

[h.b.]

h.b. et al. I would tread carefully with perjorative comments about the NYT before we get into a "who's your daddy?"

Why? It's not like this site or the characters have ever been shy about being critical of Red Sox ownership or of the media. That the NYT represents both is just double the fun.

Have you never seen our tribute to Luscious? (Hit refresh a lot to get all the goodies.)

So fuck the NYT.

[pinstripe thunder]

I just enjoyed the tribute to Luscious now. First smile of the day. I won't fuck the NYT, but A-ROD might. It would do him good to go from young blonde skanks to old grey ladies... and he can shout throughout.

This weekend ain't necessarily gonna be pretty, is it? BTW... surprised that all of you haven't heaped more abuse on Clemens for ducking the Red Sox this weekend. My Red Sox friends at work and I actually agreed that it was a blatant act of cowardice. The Rocket getting shelled by the Red Sox in his first outing would theoretically have been "the final nail" and all that...

And speaking of our favoriate biatch, THIS is the weekend that A-Rod gets hit. Because a "decent interval" has passed, he can be nailed without the pitcher being automatically tossed...

[Rob in CT]

Okay - Now THIS is pretty interesting. One of the Sox minority owners is being called as a witness in connection with CIA rendition tactics used to take terrorists to countries where torture is allowed.

"Prosecutors said they will call Philip Morse, a minority owner of the Red Sox, and allege his Gulfstream jet was used to transport Egyptian cleric Hassan Mustafa Omar Hasr from Italy to Germany, ANSA reported..."

Heh. I can see it now: "Sure A-Rod. Be happy to give you a lift to Toronto in my jet -- if by Toronto you mean **Gitmo**."

Full story at:

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Top_News/2007/06/01/red_sox_owner_named_in_cia_trial/9879/

[Rob in CT]

Color me gone ladies and germs. Have a great weekend. Enjoy the carnage.

Rob

[NewtonNephew]

h.b. -- Re Youk's blog. My very first post on the subject (see yesterday's comments) was that Youk phones in the comments to someone at MLB.com. I never claimed he ran the site or sat at the computer himself. Sounds like he confirmed that's how it's done. To me that is "his" blog, esp. since the reproduction of his verbal style is fairly accurate, i.e., the blog reads like Youk sounds when interviewed. But I guess there's no point in quibbling over this stuff...

[Kaz]

Clemens and the Yankees...they coulda been somebody. They coulda been a contendah...

/extending the Brando ref

[soxdownunder]

Sorry to join so late with some of my fave lines from a masterpiece:
From Brando- the snail crawling alonog the razor 'it's my dream, it's my nightmare'
From Sheen - 'I don't see any method at all, sir'
From Duvall - 'Some day this war's gonna end'.
From Hopper - 'Zap 'em with your sirens, man, zap em with your sirens'
Great strip, great blog. Made my morning.

Oh, and did you see the poor kiwi kid who got dumped outta the spelling b for mispelling 'eerily' because you guys thought she was saying 'a' when she was saying 'e'.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/4079771a7694.html

[soxdownunder]

Yeah Kaz - 'instead of bum which is what [he is] I am'
you were my brudda - you should looked after me just a little bit

[pinstripe thunder]

No list of great lines from Apocalypse Now would be complete without "Charley don't surf." Have a good weekend, everybody... I suspect it may be more enjoyable than mine.

PT

[randy]

The sox should never pitch Wake versus the Yanks ever again. Period.

[soxdownunder]

Roger's groin buggered!

[soxdownunder]

'ka-jima relieves
As spring into summer turns
Victory is sweeeet.

[Anonymous]

You would think that it would be Stray-Rod with the "fatigued groin" & not Clemens...

[Kaz]

randy, don't be a loser.

[pinstripe thunder]

Doctor, come quick. The patient has a pulse. The Empire strikes back.

[soxdownunder]

It WAS a cracker, PT, but a-rod remains teh suck! Or, to return to where we began (...riverrun past eve and adams...):

'After the frosty silence in the gardens
After the agony in stony places
The shouting and the crying
...
But red sullen faces sneer and snarl
...
Drip drop drip drop drop drop drop
But there is no water.'

[soxdownunder]

London Bridge is falling down falling down falling down

[pinstripe thunder]

Ara vos prec per aquella valor
Que vos guida al som de l'escalina
Sovegna vos a temps de ma dolor.
Poi s'asrose nel foco che gli affina
Quando fiam uti chelidon

...Da Da Da
...Shantih Shantih Shantih

[soxdownunder]

I'm impressed! I'll have to get the babel fish working over time.
la la!