Just rewards

When it's the nadir of the offseason and there is no baseball news yet readers still expect a strip, well …

Bill:
So the next time the Patriots trade a first round pick for 2 or 3 picks in a latah round, at least we'll know why.

 

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Doug:
Hey, what can you say, dude likes to pick.

 

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Bill:
In the stadium of everybody no less.

 

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Doug:
The funny thing is though, in a culture where a celebrity flashing her v-goods is no big deal and where people will go to a museum to see shit smeared on a canvas et cetera et cetera it's somehow a beyond the pale taboo to pick one's nose in public?

 

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Bill:
I guess even in a society as debased as ours, there are still limits.

 

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Doug:
But you know, from a technological standpoint, there really isn't a viable alternative for the boogahs that remain impervious to the tissue blow other than the humble phalange and metacarpal nasal insertion.

 

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Bill:
Truah words have nevah been spoken.

 

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Doug:
It's high time we stop "blaming the victim," you know?

 

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Bill:
Powah to the pickahs!

 

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Comments

[Bob]

Wow. The was most deinitely a pick, not a scratch.

[Bob]

That. Definitely.

(I still haven't fully recovered from Sunday night.)

[Kaz]

You can pick your friends.

You can pick your nose.

But you can not pick your friends' noses.

69 days and 5 hours until the Sox season opener...

...just gotta make it a little longer, h.b. ;)

[Follower of Tito]

I don't begrudge him the nose-picking...all guys are guilty at one time or another, but at least he could have used the old "hanky" over the finger trick that my grandfather used to do...or as my 4 year old nephews says,"He's not picking his nose...he's checking for boogers" Kid learns fast.

[louclinton]

I would like to thank the Patriots for giving me two weeks of my life back. I feel empowered to actually think about something other than Rechee Caldwell or whether Vinnie will get a kneel-down in the SB.

By chance, I happen to be reading a book about Bobby Thomson and Ralph Brana, called The Echoing Green. I don't recommend it, based on the turgidity of the writing style, but last night I was reading about The Shot Heard Round the whatever. Talk about a kick in the old pancreas to Dodgah fans. We have Billy Buck and BFDent, but that was a rough one. Sort of puts the over achieving and ultimately disappointing Pats in perspective. I have come to think that the '06 season was just a big science experiment, with the Hoodie seeing how far he could get with 4 or 5 guys a few retired guys and some guys named Baker and Alexander.

Thanks for giving me my life back. Enjoy Prince.

lc

[Kaz]

Anybody have the over/under on PAYton commercials?

[Dave S.]

I'll put it at 12, Kaz.

What I want to know is, how many people DON'T pick their nose. Who isn't familiar with the variety of booger types that resist the tissue? The soft-nostril hard nugget? The crispy-fronted-long-wet-string? The wintry-nosehair-pearl? I mean, come on. Nose-picking is like porn for men. We all do it when we can get away with it. A little shame after the act is completed, perhaps, but ultimately satisfying.

[Jason O.]

There's one immutable rule of nose picking...don't do it in front of women. In the company of men it's an excavation festival.

Whaddaya mean, no baseball news? Did you see the latest in the Clemens strip tease/kabuki/charade?

...He was wearing his NYY WS ring in a photo taken 3 days ago.

The thing is, I really want Clemens to wear pinstripes come June, but it's bitterweet to go through this hint dropping bullshit where he adores being the center of attention.

Of course, the bidding war for Clemens will make the Matsuzaka posting bids look like a 3rd grade lemonade stand.

And both teams will not be denied. He could get 28-30 million for 4 months work.

[miketc]

Dave -- it's like that George Carlin bit, "WOW! That came out of ME?!?!?" It's the same satisfying fascination you get from squeezing a good blackhead.

...ok, that's too much sharing.

[Bob]

I think a giant whitehead is far more satisfying than a blackhead. Blackheads have little or no "pop." A good whitehead can be launched so hard, you can hear it smack the mirror.

[Kaz]

Ok, who's ready for "Sox Appeal"...a NESN show that will have 3 girls sit with 1 guy, each for 2 innings, during a Red Sox game. He then has to choose which of the 3 gets to join him for innings 7-9.

Free Sox tickets, TV airtime, 3 women competing with a ballgame for your attention...I'm not sure it gets much better (hmm, will the show buy the beer?).

[h.b.]

Actually had a dream the other night where I was popping a whitehead but the puss just kept coming out like a snake and I kept pulling and pulling on it until I came to the end and this left a giant cavity in my head where in I could see my brain.

I woke up right there.

[Bob]

I saw that, too, Kaz. It's from the same people who produce "Queer Eye."

http://boston.bizjournals.com/boston/stories/2007/01/22/daily10.html

[Natalie]

I would totally sign up for that show Sox Appeal. I don't like the idea of being on TV but the twist on 8 minute dating in a Sox context is really interesting. Beats the hell out of Match.com... But it begs the question: how many men actually want a woman with whom they can watch a game (in particular a woman who ENJOYS watching the game as much as they do)? Speaking from dating experience, I think most men THINK in the abstract that they want a girlfriend who likes sports, but in actuality they rather prefer sports being a guy's thing they enjoy with friends...

[COD]

I was watching CSI Miami last night and there was a baseball theme to it (Cuban illegals coming over to play...) Cali was questioning an agent and it was very clear that her character knows the difference between a curve and a slider. I looked at my wife and said, "she smoking hot, deadly with a gun, and knows baseball. I think I'm in love :)"

Although in fairness to my wife, she has 2 out 3. She is severely lacking in the baseball area...

[doh]

Please, let's have the v-goods link.

[Dave S.]

THAT is an awesome dream, HB. Did you experience any unusual sensation as you pulled all of that tissue out of your head?

Natalie...I love watching baseball with my wife. She's not as rabid as I am, but she knows her shit, and for me it's pure pleasure when she gets into a game with me. The ideal is watching the game with her and any number of my friends.

[h.b.]

Dave,

Not any unusual sensation in the dream, just the same good feeling one gets from a puss/pimple evacuation except really, really prolonged. So in the dream I had the conflict of feeling pleasure while also knowing that something was terribly amiss.

[yazbread]

Natalie,

It was the summer of '78. I was in Amherst taking classes in order to avoid a summer job. Living with my girlfriend (later wife). At night I would listen to Martin and Woods while studying. It did not go over big with my wife early on ('is this all you are doing this summer'). Slowly but surely she came around to the Sox and by the middle of the summer she was saying 'let's go up to the Drake for some beer and watch Boomer hit some taters'. She is now a die-hard Sox fan (as are my two daughters) and lives and dies with the team each year. Simple decision rule - if you like watching sports, then you should make sure that your potential mate does as well. A day at the ballpark is the perfect litmus test (or a quiz on the Baltimore Colts if you a fan of the movie 'Diner'). If your significant other does not enjoy watching sports, nip that relationship in the bud. It just isn't going anywhere.

[Natalie]

Yaz, what a sweet story... and I concur about the nipping in the bud. I don't think I could date someone who didn't like baseball. It's why I have never been into European men, no matter how sexy.

Plus, if I were to bring home someone disinterested in sports, he'd have nothing to say to my brother and I'd always imagine my late father, who raised me on the Sox from a young age (hard to do in suburban New Jersey, living for Yanks-Sox on WPIX, damn Phil Rizzuto anyway), looking down on me and shaking his head in disappointment.

[Dave S.]

You know, Natalie, you might want to look differently at Brits, Aussies and the Irish. I've seen many of them become baseball converts. It must be the whole cricket thing.

That's great stuff. One of my favorite surreal dreams sees me floating into the air like a balloon. I bounce off the ceiling, usually out a window, and somewhere in the clouds sort of figure out how to fly around at will. With the realization that I control it, I zip off and just check everything out. This one recurs, and I get to see and do all sorts of things, like fly next to windows on planes and surprise passengers, or be a Peeping Tom in a highrise. It's always disappointing to wake up.

[Jason O.]

Let's see: summer of '78, Martin and Woods, going up to the Drake for a beer with his girlfriend (now wife)...

I think yazbread is Bryan Adams's lyricist/songwriter...either Adams or Billy Joel, I'm not sure....

[IkeG]

If yazbread says that he and some guys from school had a band and they tried real hard, I'll agree with you, Jason

[Natalie]

Good point, Dave, and I actually exempt the three you mention: I should have clarified continental Europeans. I actually dated an Aussie guy for a bit a couple years ago, and he was already a baseball convert.

Awesome dream, by the way. My recurring ones are always so depressingly realistic- like being back in college and realizing I have not been to a class all semester for which I have an exam the next day. I have never flown in a dream... I must lack in imagination or something :)

[louclinton]

Nat, I have the same college dream, and I have been out of college since the Nixon Administration (look it up)

lc

[yazbread]

Bryan Adams, Billy Joel? Oh please! My musical tastes run to Neil Young / Crazy Horse.

[Follower of Tito]

yazbread...if you remember the Drake, then you must know the Cage where Dr. J played...but likely your local knowledge comes from a stay at the Zoo, I came by it as a local AND as a grad student. Or maybe we rubbed elbows draining a few at the Blue wall or Delano's

[Chilik]

yazbread...I never thought I'd see a reference to The Drake ever. The home drinking hole of the legendary Whately Wonders. Drake, ye shall be missed.

Classic Amherst graffiti: "Save the Drake...for Willy...for humanity!"

[bg]

Yazbread, Follower, Chilk et-al -

Twenty-five years in California and I haven’t once thought of the Drake… or the Blue Wall (where I tended bar in the mid 70’s), Delano’s (also tended bar for ten minutes) or Barsalottis (where I drank)… Ahhh memories of Amherst– beer, rugby, the occasional class… Road trips home for Sox games & laundry.

Youth may be wasted on the young, but I sure enjoyed it!

Favorite Soxaholix/Amherst moment: Having a beer with Bill Lee in the campus center after he gave his Guest Lecture on “Pyramid Power!” Circa 75-76…

[I couldn’t make this shit up]

[Follower of Tito]

Stuck on train with lapper and wifi...but anyway, bg if you haven't thought about those places in a while what about the TOC! Or the Student Union to hear Dick Gregory speak, or rolling a keg down to watch Garber's Gorillas play lax (that field now bears his name)...the days of beer and roses!

[yazbread]

The Drake. A place where you could smoke a joint at a table and no one would look twice at you. A bygone era. Our idea of living high off the hog in those days was dinner at Fitzwilly's over in 'Hamp. I should have invested in Northhampton real estate way back then.

[bg]

Yeah, The TOC, that’s where we drank with Spaceman, I just couldn’t remember the name. Irish Alzheimer’s - I forget everything except my grudges…

The local (SF) UMass alumni group does get together a few times a year (Sox A’s, Celtics Warriors etc) so memories never quite die. Go Redm…err… Minutemen!

[ed]

i got married in 1983 to a "new" sox fan, a dodger fan from california. we flew all night, and went to Yaz's last game b4 spending a week in maine. she has become rabid ever since,and its great to watch a game with her.