Clemens Goes Glam

Bill:
OK the news that Clemens was seen wearing his Yankees World Series ring doesn't surprise me at all.

 

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Bill:
But the news that he was wearing said ring at the Sundance Film Festival makes me go "Huh?"

 

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Bill:
I mean what in the fuck is Roger Clemens doing at Sundance?

 

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Bill:
Somehow I just can't picture Clemens kicking back in a cinema and watching a screening of Teeth while contemplating vagina dentata mythology.

 

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Mike:
Dude, that's only half of it. He was seen with the ring before entering the MySpace.com pahty at Sundance.

 

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Bill:
!

 

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Mike:
Yeah, I know, boggles the mind, right?

 

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Bill:
I so can't wait until Clemens is done chillin with his MySpace friends and rejoins the Yankee again so he can get the oh so pleasant remindah of the difference between the American and National Leagues.

 

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Mike:
Yeah, talk about a castration mythology come to life. After facing Ortiz a couple of times, Clemens will find the so-called yawning mouth of hell* a preferable alternative.

[*NSFW!]

 

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Comments

[Bob]

That movie gives new meaning to the term "wood chipper."

(I'll be here all week, folks. Try the veal.)

[Harwich Rich]

He was just trying to contact the unforgettable gay Peruvian :)

[Jason O.]

And how many times has Matsuzakairabu faced American League hitters?

Questions abound...

[louclinton]

Missed the [now showing at Sundance] D Fanning rape scene reference in the strip.
Maybe tomorrow.

lc

[h.b.]

Lou,

I almost went with the Hound Dog ref with something like Clemens wanting to see a 12 year old get raped on screen but then I thought that was just too nasty. The characters don't have that much animosity for Clemens. Now for A-Rod maybe...

[louclinton]

Too nasty by half, h.b. Just wanted to up the comment creep quotient.

lc

[DenverSoxFan]

Much thanks for pointing out NSFW links. I'm not sure I even want to click on that thing once I get home for the day...

[Dave S.]

Yeah, when it's a two-alarmer NSFW about toothy female genitalia, you're likely wandering into snuff film and Faces of Death territory.

[Natalie]

Oh god, Dave, Faces of Death, I have not thought of that in ages. My father was a housemaster in a boy's dorm when I was growing up, and every summer after the boys left but before the cleaning crews arrived, my brother and I and our friends would room raid... We were probably the only kids under 10 with a serious porn stash. :) I think I was 9 when I watched Faces of Death. My father almost stroked out when he caught us!

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

I'm minding my own business Monday night, watching Louisville let UConn hang around just enough so that I don't change the channel when Dickie V does the unthinkable. He compares Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning to Joe Torre and Derek Jeter because Manning and Dungy are so, so classy. The only difference is, you know, the championships, which Dickie's partner had to point out. What a way to make a long, sucky game longer and suckier.

[Dave S.]

Geez, Natalie, why is it that everyone seems somehow to have first seen Faces of Death when they were like, 10 years old? God knows how my brother and I got our hands on it then, but we did. Talk about emotional scarring! We all seem to think of kids as being innocent, but their curiosity is both hard-edged and limitless, and the fact is, they're sketchy as hell. My daughter's not even two and I can see the wheels turning up there. Trouble.

[buckner was framed]

I realize I'm dating myself here, but somehow I can't help but think of one of my favorite cartoons from when I was 9 or 10: Snagglepuss. Heavens to Murgatroid.

[miketc]

Are the Soxaholix really just a bunch of movie geeks? Faces of Death is the second movie mentioned on this board in the last month that Netflix doesn't carry. (this time, not quite so surprising.)

Heart of Darkness was the first...

[Rob in CT]

Buckner - Rather than risk the NSFW link in today's strip (as DenverSoxFan points out), I believe I'll "Exit, stage righttt!"

Good to be back. Started a new client and only today regained 'Net access. Too f'n tired to boot up the laptop after dinners... Reading back through, I missed some good discussions. That HB, what a moderator. That louclinton, what a lovable, but surly SOB. That Barney Rubble, what a comedian! The Bob of the Stone Age...

[yazbread]

Miketc,

I would suggest that if someone reviewed the last two year's worth of postings (there must be someone willing to waste a couple of days among us), it would show that the readership has a fairly ecletic set of interests. Movies, politics, anime, literature, pop culture, and hatred of the MFYs are some oft-mentioned themes that jump to mind.

[Dave S.]

This blog is a gumbo. Baseball is the roux and the core of its flavor, but the rest is all variety and pleasure.

[Bob]

Can I be Andouille? Please?

[miketc]

Yaz -- I'm here reading every day. In a far too roundabout way, I'm just giving props to you all for the regular brush with obscurity.

...it was also a low-key vent at Netflix. (which I love)

[Dave S.]

Sure, Bob. You got first dibs, you spicy sausage, you. But who the hell wants to be chicken or shrimp? I mean, eat it, hell yes, but be it? I guess I'll be okra.

[Kaz]

I'm a crawdad. Most definitely.

[Edgy Reggie]

yazbread,
Pretty good list of the resident interests here, but let's not forget the recently discussed blackhead/whitehead mashing, booger picking, Charlie Manson, and of course, a subject of keen interest to me, anal stimulation. BTW, I have yet to meet a member of the fairer sex that didn't enjoy a backdoor tongue probing just as a change of pace while down yodeling up the canyon, although they may not be willing to look you in the eye and admit it.

Speaking of movies and New Orleans references makes me think of two movies set in the Big Easy (not so easy any more) that I liked that you may or may not have seen.

One is "Angel Heart" with Robert De Niro, Mickey Rourke, and best of all, Lisa Bonet (used to be on the Cosby Show). Kind of a horror-mystery-thriller flick and Lisa Bonet is one sultry little vixen. One scene of her washing her hair outside under an old fashioned well pump is prone to make one think about wringing the weasel.

The other is "Heaven's Prisoners" with Alec Baldwin and Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives). A decent noir flick. There's one scene of Teri Hatcher totally nude standing on a balcony swilling something, probably absinthe. There is a wrought iron railing around the balcony that obscures somewhat but not totally Teri's little muffin.

Well, my ass is draggin'. Another long day on the job. Unfortunately, I'm one of those poor bastards that has to work for a living. Think I'll go up to bed early and read some till I start to slip away....

[yazbread]

Edgy Reggie,

A Mickey Rouke fan? If so, you must be French. :) Lot's of talent but a checkered career. I'll have to admit that I liked Angel Heart and I am a big fan of Diner, Body Heat, and Barfly. I'll assume that HB has his own copy of Barfly since he is often quoting Bukowski.

[steve]

Wasn't it just a few months ago that Sox fans were ready to welcome Rogah back with open ahms? What's changed? He hasn't said he's following Andy.

[h.b.]

Re Clemens and "open arms" that is true among a portion (maybe a majority?) or Red Sox Nation, but the characters here at The Soxaholix aren't among them. The closest they've come to "open arms" is a begrudging acceptance that the ownership group is in love with the idea of Clemens return and if it were to happen they'll deal with it like anything else.

As for Barfly, I never liked Rourke as Chinaski.

I've yet to see Dillon in Factotum. I've had the DVD from Netflix for over a week, but haven't yet given it a go.

[Dave S.]

I'd wager that Roger could melt the characters' cold cold hearts should he come back, and, say, post a 2.30 ERA, go 12-3, and lead them through the postseason. Just sayin'.

I haven't seen it, but I hear Mickey Rourke is pretty incredible in Sin City. You know the scene in Pulp Fiction where Sam Jackson talks about how, because of his girlfriend's habits, he's pretty much a vegetarian, except that he likes a good burger? That's my wife and me with movies. Thus, no Sin City yet for me.

[Bob]

H.B., IMO, Dillon is far superior to Rourke in his portrayal.

I liked Factotum quite a bit.

[h.b.]

I've heard good things about Factotum.

As for Sin City, I was reluctant to see it initially because I've grown tired of the whole "graphic novel/comic on the big screen" thing.

But, I happened to catch it after it had already started on HBO one night a few weeks back, and I was totally, absolutely, jaw droppingly mesmerized by it. I need to go back and watch it all the way from the beginning. Like Factotum, I have the Netflix DVD just sitting by the TV waiting for me.