All Ur Gyro Are Belong to Us

Mike:
Holy, shit,David 'Bend It' Beckham.

 

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Doug:
Jeez, didn't he get the European memo: America is eeevil and the greatest exportah of terrorism?

 

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Mike:
Yeah, well, for $250 million clams, even the most anti-American Frenchman would roll ovah and start quaffing California pinot.

 

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Doug:
Totally. It's just Money being Money.

 

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Mike:
So you been checking out the gyroball thread as SoSH?

 

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Doug:
"There are four types of gyroballs — at least. They are all held with the same basic grip, but by altering the tilt of the wrist and slight changes to the arm action, you can produce wildly different results."

 

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Mike:
I get a spontaneous nut noggie just thinking about it.

 

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Doug:
Imagine how the opposing batters are going to feel?

 

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Mike:
Like n00bs being pwned.

 

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Doug:
Fear plz gyroball easily defeat you wilderness!

 

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Comments

[IkeG]

"Money being money" --- nice

[dabdiputs]

i am in ur starting rotation gyroing ur doodz

[denversoxfan]

IM IN UR BRONX
STRIKIN OUT UR YANKEEZ

[h.b.]

OMFG Ynk3zz gots d14d!!11 SX winzar!!11111 ROFLMAO

[Kaz]

Boom. Headshot.

[Bob]

Is today Friday? Please tell me it is. My head is about to explode, "Scanners"-style.

[Jason O.]

Bob, did they give your mom ephemerol when she was pregnant?

[Bob]

No, Jameson and Camel non-filters. Why?

[louclinton]

SOSH reference.

[Bob]

Well, my friend Robert's mom was given ephemerol when she was pregant with him, and sometimes my head hurts really badly when he stares at me.

What's it all mean?

[Da'beads]

Gyroball FTW!!!

[paddy24]

Dave S. -

The only players as good or better than Rice when Rice was playing from the 1975-1986 era were Eddie Murray, Dave Winfield (maybe), George Brett, Rickey Henderson and Mike Schmidt. Molitor wasn't better. Yount wasn't better. Dennis Eckersley wasn't better. Gary Carter wasn't better. Bruce Sutter sure as shit wasn't better. Fisk wasn't better. It's funny how history is re-written after players retire. I don't recall anyone thinking Gary Carter or Paul Molitor was better than Jim Rice from 1975 to 1986 (or in Molitor's case - 1978 to 1986). I was a fanatical collector of baseball cards. I can assure you that no one would trade a Jim Rice card from 1975 to 1986 for any of his contemporaries except maybe Schmidt. I hate to keep bringing the same stat up - you've already seen it - from 1975 to 1986 (12 years - not five, not eight, not 10, but 12!!!!) - most hits, most RBI, most runs, most HR, most total bases, most outfield assists, most game winning RBI, most triples in the A.L. He was a slugger and hitter for average in a non- offensive era. He played The Monster great. Had he not been hit by a pitch, the Sox would have won the 1975 World Series. In 1978 every position player had an off-year except for Rice. He was a one-man wrecking crew. For those 12 years there was not a more imposing player than Jim Ed. Runner up for Rookie of Year. Most total bases (406) in a year since Stan Musial. Chronic top ten finisher in MVP voting (that is the true measure of Hall of Fame worthiness). Dominant seasons in 1975, 1977, 1978, 1979, 1983 and 1986. Many 100 RBI seasons. .298 lifetime average. Played his whole career with one team. Somebody please explain to me when Gary Carter, Bruce Sutter and Dennis Eckerley became better players than Jim Rice. He even had more great years than them, so it's not that Rice din't do it for a long enough time to be compared favorably to them. Nobody went for a beer when Rice strode to the plate. Again, only Henderson, Schmidt, Murray and Brett were better. I guess you had to be a fan during that era to understand. - Paddy

[IkeG]

Paddy, I can tell you that my dad and I sure didn't leave the TV room when Rice came up to the plate. Guy was hard to like due to his aloofness but he sure could play. Regarding comparisons with contemporaries, you can't really discount the fact that Carter was a catcher (tougher to stand out) and that Eck's best years as a closer came after 1986, but I can't help but think that the only real reason Rice isn't in the HoF is because he was regarded as a jerk.

[paddy24]

IkeG -

Interesting you should bring up how the writers assess Rice's off-the-field demeanor. He IS a jerk IF NOT having any DWI's, other criminal arrests, spousal battery complaints, tax evasion allegations means he is a jerk. I don't see him hawking his autograph all over the place. I haven't heard of any bankruptcies or other shady business dealings. No allegations of drug usage or steroids usage. No paternity suits. No missed child support payments. No corked bat incidents. Hell, has he even ever been divorced? The more I think about it, maybe his nickname should be "Squeaky Clean Jim Rice, Jerk To All Baseball Beat Writers". Because as we all know, baseball beat writers should never be viewed as being contemptible - it's not like they ever try to dig up dirt on anyone. Maybe that's why they hate Rice - they could never find any juicy gossip to dig up on him. Who wants to join the ranks of Jim Bunning, George Kell and Bill Mazeroski anyway? Jim Ed will always be a Hall of Famer to those that actually watched and understood the Game. - Paddy

[paddy24]

Three more points concerning Rice's integrity. Rice din't have any contract disputes. He played his entire career with ONE team. He didn't jump from highest bidder to highest bidder. When his skills declined, he didn't make himself look foolish by hanging on indefinitely. He retired gracefully. Lastly, Jim Rice was born and raised in the South. Playing in Boston must have initially been a culture shock. For many years, playing in Boston wasn't exactly a great fit for many black players. Rice handled it perfectly. I can't think of any Red Sox player more deserving of praise for the manner he conducted himself in a Red Sox uniform on the field and off the field. And retiring Fisk's uniform # ahead of Rice's is an unbelievable slap in the face to Rice. Fisk DID NOT contribute more to the Red Sox organization than Jim Rice - PERIOD. Unless leaving town in a huff is the hallmark of Hard Work, Sweat, and Loyalty to the Boston Red Sox Organization. For that matter, Dwight Evans is more deserving of accolades from Red Sox management than Fisk. - Paddy

[paddy24]

Here's the nine players other than Jim Rice with both at least a .298 career batting average and at least 382 home runs: Hank Aaron, Jimmie Foxx, Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays, Stan Musial, Mel Ott, Babe Ruth and Ted Williams. A few of them are pretty decent players. I mean, they're no Bill Mareroskis or George Kells but one can only aspire. - Paddy24

[Harwich Rich]

PHB flip flops again-what a tool :(

[SoxSweepAgain]

Some people think that Dwight Evans had a better career than Rice:

http://www.redsoxnation.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=22999&hl=who+had+better+career+evans