Fly me to the moon

Doug:
So the next time some neerdowell posits the "Red Sox fans are a mean, nasty, unforgiving bunch of s.o.b's" meme, I've got two words for 'em: Snohomish, Washington.

 

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Mike:
Speaking of bursting in air, knowing that Matsuzaka's wife has the nickname "Rockets" is going to put a whole new spin on the "red glare" line from the Anthem.

 

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Doug:
I'm so looking forward to the Tomoyo Shibata era.

 

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Mike:
If Tomoyo starts to get any attention at all, expect a Johnny Damon press conference, since Boston can't make a move without Johnny weighing in.

 

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Doug:
I can see it now, Damon would be all, "I'm happy the Red Sox now have another hot baseball wife with TV announcing talent. Maybe Boston has learned a lot from not having my wife, Michelle, around to fill that much needed role. "

 

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Doug:
"You can’t always look back and say what could have been, but, let's face it, Michelle has quite a set of Saturn V's herself. "

 

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Mike:
And Damon continues, "But, of course, here in New York, where I'm very, very, very, very, happy by the way … here in New York City, where the people are smarter, the buildings are taller, and the baseball is winninger, they don't use the archaic term 'rockets' to describe my wife's assets."

 

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Mike:
"No, here, they use the sophisticatedly accurate term 'propulsion vehicles.' Or, on a good night, CEVs, Crew Excursion Vehicles. And I might add, Michelle can also boast a smokin' CRV, Crew Re-entry Vehicle, but, you know, some things are best left to your imagination."

 

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Author's Notes
Both the Snohomish link and the Tomoyo link came via Deadspin.

Comments

[Jason O.]

Relax hb, after all it's a coin flip between Damon or Schilling as to who was the most important catalyst for the playoff run in '04...you can't expect the media not to ask his opinion.

[louclinton]

私達の主、イエス・キリストの誕生日を祝うMicheleおよびロケットの相互mammarian皇族に気色悪いよりどんなよい方法をpaenか。

reverse:

Rather than feeling being bad to the mutual mammarian royalty of Michele and the rocket which celebrate our main things and yes Christ's birthday what kind of good method paen?

actual

What better way to celebrate the Birthday of our Lord, Jesus Christ than a creepy paen to the mutual mammarian majesty of Michele and Rockets?

love you long time,

lc

[h.b.]

Jeez, and here I thought the single biggest catalyst for the 04 run was Shonda Schilling's Red Sox wives scarf wearing crusade! (Which Michelle blew off by not wearing said scarf.)

[Jack]

Not to discount the silicone prowess of the pole dancer - but did you catch Damon's assessment of Mientkiewicz?!?

“There’s not too many first basemen who could save two or three runs a game, but I got to see Doug do it, and it’s amazing,”

I had no idea that your average first baseman cost their team 2-3 runs per game. This could blow the doors off how we think about first as a defensive position.

Or it could confirm that the idiot is, well, and idiot.

[jdog71]

Comparing the chestfruit of Michelle and Rockets is like comparing a Hummer to a Hyundai. Also, the Hummer is a gas guzzling, attention seeking, inherently obnoxious ride where the Hyundai is a small, efficient, tightly built (and probably quieter) ride...hmmm.

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

“He deserves to be in a Yankee uniform,” Damon said. “Whatever I need to do or anybody else needs to do to have him come back, it’s a no-brainer for us. If I have to go play first base, I’ll do it for a few games here and there just so we can work Bernie in.”

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is for Bernie Williams to get 400 AB and for Johnny Damon to get 50 games at 1b. I've been good all year.

Thanks,
Ryan

P.S. Thanks for Ultraman. I can't wait to see our new toy in action.

[Jason O.]

I have also heard that Ted Williams's ghost beat the Babe's ghost in a heads up poker match in early '04, this providing the edge. Ruth was of course drunk, smoking a Bolivar grand corona and being blown by Rita Hayworth's ghost under the table.

[Bob]

Yeah, but Ted was doing Marilyn Monroe. Right in front of Joe DiMaggio.

[Billy Mahty]

I'll take the Hyundai (with hummer) over the Hummer any day.

[Billy Mahty]

Oh, and.. I'll take Bernie (in center) over Johnny any day.

[Jason O.]

Sadly, it was nothing new to Joe.

[Harwich Rich]

He'll always have his Mr.Coffee to keep him warm.

[Dr. Kaz]

Tomoyo > Michelle any day.

Michelle's had so much "work" done (as opposed to done so much work) that her upper lip no longer bends when she smiles. It's eerie and looks like she's trying to about to jaw at your face. She also has a forehead that matches her husband's mouth..they both just don't know when to quit.

Meanwhile the flash video linked by umpbump finally extolls the virtues of the Rocketsu! Most of the other pictures I've seen of her have been...ironically, a bust.

[Jason O.]

...and possibly the greatest line ever, to Simon and Garfunkel:

"I haven't gone anywhere."

[da kine]

I second what Dr. Kaz is saying. Rockets-san is naturally hot, whilst Mangan-san is more fake than the Christmas tree not standing 5 feet from me. Some guys are into women who look like Foxy Lady washouts, but I am not one of them.

[Jason O.]

...and possibly the greatest line ever, to Simon and Garfunkel:

"I haven't gone anywhere."

[Rob in CT]

Did you notice in Mrs. Damon's picture that her booster rockets point askew in a manner similar to Marty Feldman's eyes?

"Hump? What hump?" - Igor ("That's Eye-gor")

[Dave S.]

Are we adding "Sox player's wives are hotter" to the list of reasons why the Red Sox are better than the Yankees? Just checking.

[Dr. Kaz]

No, Dave S. I don't think the Sox have a wife hot enough to compare to A-Rod's honey, Derek Jeter.

[jdog71]

Marty Feltman's eyes?!? Sweet fancy Moses. Has anyone else noticed how Hazel Mae's humps have slowly inflated over the last few years? I was watching "The Buzz" in HD and the grapes I was eating almost fell into orbit around her barely restrained silicone wonders.

[Dr. Kaz]

If you like Hazel Mae...check out last week's Improper Bostonian. Cover shot. Niiice. She's got a full page pic inside too...but one thing I noticed oddly enough..her dress was wrinkled to hell. Must have been a crazy night before the photo shoot. I wish I could remember where her dress landed.

[Dr. Kaz]

Thank goodness for HazelMae.net (this isn't the dress she's wearing on the inside shot that's all wrinkled up)

[Follower of Tito]

You know, sometimes when it is slow at work, I like to think Hazel Might...

[Rob in CT]

"She's got Marty Feldman eyes..." -- Kim Carnes

(See, hb? I can fuck up your head with stupid song lyrics, too...)

:D

[mothra_fan]

//Michelle has quite a set of Saturn V's herself.// Snarf!!! Coffee running out my nose h.b.

Good one!

[Mike]

Michelle looks like a shaved ape dressed up and walking upright. Without $500,000 worth of clothes and jewelery she looks all National Geographic. I would not hesitate to tranquilize that one and return it to the jungle.

M

[Dave S.]

Heya Doc, I kind of figured something along those lines would be coming. But really, you don't even need to look to Derek Jeter for A-Rod's mannish leanings...check out his wife, Cynthia. Ay Carumba! You could crack a walnut with those thies!

http://www.geocities.com/baseballwives/pictures/acbikini.jpg

[IkeG]

You're right, Dave. She's almost as pretty as A-Rod.

[Dave S.]

Or A-Rod is almost as manly as his wife...

[IkeG]

Why doesn't she support him better at home games? When the fans start to boo she could stand up and flex as she stares them down. Occasionally she could make an example of one of them by clapping his head between her thighs and crushing his skull.

"Any of you other punks want some of that?"
"No ma'am"
"All right, now, let's hear it ... let's go A-Rod (clap clap clapclapclap)"
"Yes ma'am"

[Dave]

that wrinkled dress pic is now @ www.hazelmae.net ---- check the Boston Pictures section

[Deusch]

Just a preponderance of the notion of juxtaposing a sililoquy regarding the Madames Mae and Cervasio - "Hazel Mae - Tina Might!"...