« Whithah Mystique? Withah Aura? | Main | The KKK took my trans fat away »


You know, I'm so sick of Google.


Yeah, this is the beginning of the end of finding cool shit on YouTube. It's going to be sanitized and corporatized.


These days, every time I use Google a feel a bit slimy, like I'm rooting for the Yankees or something.


Yeah, but haven't your heard, there's a certain "nobility" in being a greedy, ubiquitous, corporate behemoth.


Get the fuck out.


"The Yankees and their fans are never eliminated as an afterthought. They are always taken down in a public execution. They are led to the gallows to the raucous cheers of the gathered crowds. They are read the charges of high crimes and misdemeanors against them, and they are always the same. Their misdemeanor? Gluttony. Their high crime? Nobility. And then they are very publicly hanged while the throngs roar with approval. The masses will not be denied their opportunity to watch the mighty fall. And that’s okay. It’s part of what we Yankee fans sign up for. Some of us make a choice. Some of us are born into it. But all of us wouldn’t trade it for the world."


Hmmm, while the premise suggests it's author is totally delusional, probably as the result of great grief I'd imagine, I must admit that's the some fine ass writing.


You know, is it me, or are Yankees fans starting to sound more like Red Sox fans?




Author's Notes
Today's title is a nod to the Shelley poem by the same name.


Their high crime is nobility? Nobility??

Was Damon being noble when he said "the best team didn't win"?

Was Jeffrey Maier "noble"? Juice-ambi? Sheffield?

Jeter is noble. Torre is noble. After that, the Skankees are anything but.

As you said, a nice bit of writing. But as you also said, totally delusional.

Good call on the sounding like Sox fans. The pinstripe brigade is finally learning what it's like to have your heart torn out year after year by what your team "shoulda coulda" done. They are turning into true fans now, rather than just picking a winner. Another year or two of this and we may have a reason to sympathize with them.

But then again, f*** them.

I might add Bernie Williams to the noble list too.

Wow. That puts the bizomb back in bombast. Any Yankee fan asking for sympathy ought to follow up onto the gallows and do the hangman's jig himself. As long as Steinbrenner is running the show, we might as well embrace our evil side. Fuck nobility! HB had it right yesterday: fans take pleasure in their team winning, and feel sadness in their losing, and love it dearly. But he who cannot separate himself from his team needs to see a psychiatrist. I like rooting for the Yankees, and having had it in my veins from being a wee one, couldn't change even if I wanted. I also happen to think that Darth Vader (episodes 4-6, mind you...especially 5) was a badass worth cheering. So I say to hell with it! Bwahahahahah!

Another good example...anyone here ever get geeky enough to play Axis & Allies? If you enjoy WWII history and/or Risk, have at least one friend in the same camp as you, and few hours to spare, I highly recommend checking it out. It's WWII. Someone has to play the Axis. I must admit: it's pretty fun rolling those German tanks into Siberia and sinking that Limey navy with U-Boats. Bwahahahahah!

Yankee fans and Nazis. Funny how well they fit together in the same sentence/paragraph.

Sorry Dave. I couldn't resist. :-D

My son and I play Memoir 44, which is sort of a beginners war game that follows the action from D-Day on. I always have to play the Germans, it's very tough to win with them.

I still equate Microsoft with the Yankees. Google? Maybe the Patriots? They started from scratch. Made a lot of really smart moves. Now, a force of nature.

Darth Vader: sure, he could use The Force to choke subordinates and he had a cool red lightsaber, but in the end, he was just a pasty white guy with a cool suit.


I sure hope the contents of this package never reach the vaunted halls of YouTube (pun intended).

That having been said, I'd welcome Arroyo back with open arms.

Sheffield or some other NY castaway...not so much.

Oh, no apologies, Rob...that's why I juxtaposed the two. I figure it can be fun rooting for evil when it's, you know, a game...

COD, my buddy plays Memoir 44 as well. He loves both Memoir and A&A.

And speaking of evil, it's kind of interesting how the Yankees over the past dozen or so years are an eerie reflection of the GOP. They won in the mid nineties (really, it began for them in the strike shortened '94 season) with a "grass roots" group of home grown players, and picked up real momentum up through the end of the 90's. Then, in 2001, drunk on their own power, they stumbled. Instead of going back to what made them successful to begin with, they instead tried to buy their way back up the ladder, bullying, adding more and more power, ignoring scandal in their own midst, and emptying the farm system and coffers in an ultimately failed attempt to regain the leadership that they well won in the beginning.

Come on now, Dave. Comparing the Yankees to the Nazis: that's just funny. But comparing them to the GOP? Even I, an avid lifelong Yankee hater, would not tar them with such a vicious analogy. :)

So, Jeffrey Maier = Katherine Harris?

'..... Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.'

Was Shelley contemplating a vision of the Toilet after it is torn down?

Sounds like Torre is back for another year. So maybe there is a shred of nobility in the MFYs.

I am generally reserved with Nazi analogies, even in jest. But have at the GOP!

h.b., I am going to dork out and thank you so much for your literary references. Seeing Ozymandias, one of my all-time favs, as the title brought a smile to my face and an urge to pick up all my college lit books.

Natalie...I wasn't likening rooting for the Yankees directly to the Nazis, but was rather invoking the game/fiction quality of sports and fandom. In fiction and war game reenactments, someone has to be evil, and it can be fun to let loose with it. Put a real Nazi in front of me, and all joking disappears. But hey, if Mel Brooks himself can write "Springtime for Hitler", there's gotta be a few yuks in it!

The Arroyo piece (no pun intended) was fantastic.

Oh, and the GOP analogy is pretty good, too. But you also might add another similarity: just when you think they don't have a chance, whoops, they surprise you.

For the past two seasons the Yankees have been decimated with injuries, yet, they win 95+ games and the division.

The Red Sox, when faced with similar circumstances, totally fold and barely end at .500

More respect for the Nazis than the GOP...who knew the crowd here was so liberal?

Although the GOP comparison is oddly relevant. Drunk on their own power, I think, is a perfect description of Congress during the Bush administration. And I think Yankee fans can similarly be compared to the evangelical Christian right. They both can't fathom losing power, and they both think God is on their side :)

What to make of this amusing Soxaholix focus on the Yankees?

Orators are most vehement when their cause is weak.

You could say, too, that GW Bush is not a "conservative" in the Reagan or the Gingritch sense in much the same way that A-Rod is not a real Yankee in the Paul O'Niel or Thurman Munson sense.

Focus is on the Yankees because that's all I've got. Actually, had decided to not to a strip today at all, but then thought of the Yankees' fan blog post re "nobility" and figured I could weave something readable out of it.

Warning: It's going to be a long offseason and I really feel that after two offseaons I've pretty much Warning: It's going to be a long offseason and I really feel that after two offseaons I've pretty much overfished the George's Bank with regard to topics not directly related to the games at hand or trades or so much of that stufff that vanished for long stretches between Nov and Feb. Expect lots of outages here moving forward.

I see the focus on the Yankees as something we all can appreciate, Jason O., Soxaholix and Yankaholix alike. As Cicero also said:

"It is a great thing to know our vices."

or, more aptly for the situation here:

"Friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it."

h.b. makes a fine point. Both Presidents Bush killed and buried the Goldwater/Thatcher/Reagan legacy, and the GOP will suffer the consequences.

The good news is that a Dem-lead House will insure massive gridlock. It will be a Jeffersonian delight: Neither group of assholes will be able to get anything accomplished for 2 years, thankfully.

Ok, if we're going to keep making Yankees-GOP comparisons, I'm just going to say it:

A-Rod is Mark Foley. (Scandalous on-field actions will cause his retirement from the organization this year...oh, and yah, he's gay)

There. I feel better now.

"Expect lots of outages here moving forward."

Waaaaahhhhh! Please! Please! Say it ain't so...

I have to agree with Jason - gridlock is good.

As far as Dave S's post goes, I respectfully submit that he has identified the difference between a Red Sox Fan and another fan. I have posted this observation before, but it bears repeating: I was struck at a game at Wrigley one day when the fans were exhuberant and thrilled to be there. But, their happiness was being part of the event. Cubs Fans (and to a lesser extent the front running New York Onanist fans) are behind their team, good for them. But RS fans think we are ON the team. It's a small, but significant difference.


h.b., the outages are understandable, esp. when the hot stove is still cool, but there will still be a full schedule of "Lostaholic" thursdays, right?

Jason O: Hell, yeah, for gridlock! Why don't they just shut down for a couple weeks... (oh, yeah, they did that a few years ago... to no effect.)

Definitely, Lostaholix will continue on Thursdays.

lc- I've heard that one before...I guess I'd first suggest you see a psychiatrist before security at Fenway ushers you from the dugout ;). And second, I'd suggest that I know plenty of Yankee fans who feel the same way about their team. If you go to any number of Yankee blogs, or listen to WFAN here in New York, you'll hear from these folks all the time. I know that even down to the Royals faithful, every team has its core of fans who seem unable to extricate their identity from the team. I suppose it's possible, likely even, that the Red Sox have the highest share of this particular fan-type...but it certainly isn't the exclusive providence of the Red Sox fan.

Dave S, I respectfully disagree. I have 45 years of observation on this point. The FAN callers don't persuade me. The empty seats at Dodger Stadium in the 7rth inning don't persuade me. Being able to hear the SS talk to the 2B man while standing in the concourse in sold-out Rogers Centre doesn't convince me.

Is being a RS fan pathologically fucked up? Of course. We all have our crosses to bear. Your results may vary.


Someone has to play the Axis. I must admit: it's pretty fun rolling those German tanks into Siberia and sinking that Limey navy with U-Boats. Bwahahahahah!

Me, I always bought a few planes with some spare cash and just strafed 'em to death. I love that game, but so much of it hinges on the outcomes of a few dice rolls early in the game. Unless ze germans win the battle for the caucasus and karelia zones, manage to keep the channel free of masses of transports and steal some IPCs from Africa, you're pretty much fucked from the get go.

Dave S- I hear ya. And normally I am not the most PC person, I just recently reread Elie Weisel's Night, so lately I can't help but think literally about what Nazi means when hearing it used in humor or exaggeration to refer to things like baseball teams and political parties. Didn't mean to be a buzzkill!

Hey, apparently the Yanks are holding a 1pm press conference to talk about Torre's future... If Spankees get rid of him, I'll be bummed we are locked into a contract with Tito (I know this is sacrilege considering he ended our WS drought and my father coached his son in HS baseball)...but seriously. I would take Torre as Sox manager any day of the week.

re Torre, there are many a Yankees fan who think Torre inherited the players who made up the dominate 90s teams and all Torre has done is destroy pitchers by overusing or misusing them. He also gets the same "coddling the veterans at the expense of the new guys" charge that Francona gets.

I know this is just piling on at this point, but I thought this was pretty funny.


Yankees fans: Show courage through this perilous journey, like the great Lemmiwinks, the gerbil King.

(Can't resist, the rerun was on comedy central last night)

Also re: Piniella...he was a maniac in Cinci, much more mellow in Seattle and a maniac in TB, methinks he adjusts to his surroundings. Although the brawl with Dibble was the greatest 20 seconds of sports television EVER.


How about some strips on the Pats? Or whatever topic you like? It appears you have some followers here who would love to rant about politics. I would welcome that, as it appears many others would.

Or encourage some readers to come up with a strip or two.

But perish the thought of off days (vacation days, you deserve, but we would miss the comments section, which gives some of us voice - and purpose)


After re-reading the poem, I'm reminded of when my wife's paternal grandmother gave me a verbal smackdown for admiring this poem. She called it "a piece of sentimental tripe from a Romanticist." I just sighed and let it go.

Off-days hooray! That means Lisa the temp gets to pen some strips, doesn't it? I miss her stuff.

(Or don't I understand how this strip works? Hey, I live 3000 miles from Boston on the West Coast. Waddaya expect?)

I'll echo the fact that even if I log in to see a Soxaholix that's less related about the Sox during the offseason, I'd still be happy.

The Sox brought us here in the first place, but it's not the Sox that keep us coming back. The characters might find some other aspect of life to chat about and I'm sure we'd all be just as attentive because the commentary and relevance-linking is what we like to see and discuss (SEE ALSO: Lostaholix). I understand burning out though as well, so whether you don't write at all or write about something else that you want to discuss...either way, I'm sure you'll still see most of us back, reading and commenting.

In re: Kaz' comments immediately proceeding:

That's what I meant to say when I said "Waaahhh!!" I'm just a little less literate than Kaz and other of the Soxaholix brethren. Definitely more Lostaholix, please. And maybe some "Heroes"-aholix, to boot. Have you caught up to that show yet?

I feel confident speaking for most all of us when I say "Thanks for everything, HB. This blog has become a big part of our day."

Also, in the immortal words of Van Halen, "I'm hot for Lisa [teacher]... I've got my Pencillll. Gimme something to write on, man!"

Rob- Just caught Heroes for the first time, and it was dark and creepy and fantastic. I thought I'd need to sleep with the lights on, it was that sinister. I feel kinda lost though having missed the first two episodes... what exactly is Ali Larter's character's deal?

Friday Night Lights tonight, people! Let's get those ratings up!

Yes, I'm watching Heroes and enjoying it. I record it to the DVR, though, and don't get to it until later in the week.

Nat - Amazing, huh? Don't worry about feeling lost a bit. It's confusing even under the best of circumstances. NBC has a site up for the show that encapsulates each episode to date, and you can even watch the latest episode on line. It has a discussion of the characters as well to help you along. Geez, I sound like a media promoter, huh? Don't mean to, but I have enjoyed the shows so far.

I actually fell asleep last night before the show came on (x-country travel really took it out of me). I did record it though, and intend to watch tonight. I bet Lisa the Temp watched; she's got time on her hands in the evening ever since lou dumped her for Circle.

Rob in Ct.-This site is the last thing I check before I go to work and the first when I get home. Ya think I need help :)

Rich - Heh, no more than the rest of us addicts. This shit is like cocaine...

Hope the boss doesn't catch me checking in throughout the day. (Skankee fan. He's ben avoiding me all day today. At least Dave S. is man enough to take his lumps. He can drink with me anytime. Same goes for the rest of the Soxaholix crowd.)

HB - WRT the above, rest assured you'll never need to pull out your fat wad of cash in any bar we happen into at the same time. Same for you, Natalie, as long as you're wearing that Teal dress from the dog walk. HA!

Thanks Rob in CT!

I used to visit here a lot during the offseason, and through the first few months of the season. then only occasionally over the summer as I was spread thin, and couldn't check as often as I liked, but it feels great to be back into it. Dave S seems like a respectable guy. Whatever happened to that crazy dude BigBri???

I see Soxaholix as containing characters in the strip and characters in the comment area. I am not saying that posters are characters in the sense of 'what a character that guy/gal is' but in the sense of possessing a distinct personality that has emerged after so many postings. It is somewhat surreal, you become a character by following the characters. Anyone else thinking along this line? I guess to that extent following the blog is like following episodes of Lost or reading Doonesbury. [I will have to confess that I don't watch Lost. TV has gone downhill since The Prisoner went off the air].

Yaz, I'm curious... What would your character look like "inside" the strip?

Mine? Undoubtedly a cross between Richard Gere and Bullwinkle the Moose.

In case anyone ever wanted to see the famous "dropping the shoulder move" in action...


Rob in CT -

Hadn't thought that far ahead. Probably a combination of Tom Hanks ('everyman') and Wile E. Coyote.

Have to say I am a big fan of Rocky and Bullwinkle (and Jay Ward). My entire understanding of Cold War politics comes from that show.

where in CT are you? I grew up in Cheshire.

yeah rob where ..i could use a beer or two myslef....oops

Thanks, Rob in CT! That's one way to start recouping the cost of the dress :) If YOU sport the dress, I'll buy all the Soxaholix regulars a drink!

yazbread: I check in several times daily just to see whats going on in the comments with you guys. The Soxaholic family. Characters indeed. It makes me feel all nostalgic for New England, especially during the season when I'm painfully aware of not being able to watch many games. But I look forward to hanging around here in the off season too.

Oh, and can we please get that sweet-ass dork Bronson Arroyo back? (or at least a copy of that pic he sent to Schilling?)

Have to say I am a big fan of Rocky and Bullwinkle (and Jay Ward). My entire understanding of Cold War politics comes from that show.

Agreed - best satire of the cold war (apart from the black comedy of Dr. Strangelove).

Speaking of Rocky and Bullwinkle (R&B - hmmm... rocky and bullwinkle, rhythm and blues), anyone else catch Bonderman's interview after game 4? My wife and were laughing at his voice; the wife said he sounded like a cross between Sly Stallone (circa Rocky I) and Bullwinkle.... "Yo, Adrian, watch me pull something outta my hat!"

Dead on with Yank fans starting to sounf like Sox fans, and its pissing me off. Enough of this "Woe is me" crap, Yanks were much easier to tolerate when all I heard was "Yeah, well we still got 26"... Now, i'm starting to feel bad for them.. Fuck em anyway.

Another FANTASTIC Yank-a-holix post. I LOVE coming to this here blog to follow the lives of those obsessed with the NYY. Thanks for doing this, H.S.!

That's cool that you come here, BB. It's nice that you enjoy us enjoying the schadenfreude.

Not kidding here - Corey Lidle was in the plane that hit the apartment building in NY this afternoon. Both people in the plane died. I think the other was his flight instructor.

OK - I thought it odd that nobody here had mentioned it - I scrolled to the wrong strip.

The comments to this entry are closed.

The Soxaholix eBook Spinoff

The captivating and long awaited Soxaholix eBook spinoff is finally available!

There's No Crying in Pocket Pool


Purchase at Amazon.


Logo t-shirts now available, several colors, even pink.

'Soxaholix logo t-shirt