And the less attractive could be Klingons or Ferengi

Oh, but before we get started, by all means let's pause for a nanosecond to honor Derek Jeter for his great individual achievement in winning the 2006 Hank Aaron Award. It's an honor just to be permitted to acknowledge the honor.

Doug:
Argh, this day is not stahting out too good at all … I got out of bed this morning and I was stumbling around, tripping ovah myself, my mind all fuzzy and muted and I was all 'WTF! I've been possessed by Drew Bledsoe.'

 

---

Mike:
Scary. But here's something besides a dose of Tom Brady to shake the stuck in the pocket Drews away … Your rant the other day about ChipSix on BSG got me to thinking.

 

---

Doug:
Uh-huh …

 

---

Mike:
Look we know that the sci-fi audience is like 95% male. And we can presume from anecdotal evidence that one of the draws to sci-fi for guys is the babalicious factor. Whether it's ChipSix, Inara from Firefly, the nympho Yeoman Rand from STOS, every dude has his fave sci-fi fantasy chick or two.

 

---

Doug:
Or a couple dozen.

 

---

Mike:
Exactly! So why the frig hasn't anyone capitalized on this obvious mahket demand by creating a sci-fi themed strip club?

 

---

Doug:
Dude!

 

---

Mike:
But wait I'm just getting stahted. Not just any run of the mill pole joint reeking of cheap perfume and urinal cakes, no, I'm talking a first-class place, say in Vegas, and you hiah on real pros, women who not only have been to strippah school but also are wannabe screen stahlets with a modicum of talent, you see?

 

---

Doug:
[makes communicator sound] My frequencies are open.

 

---

Mike:
So you audition the prospective talent by asking them to pick a charactah from the pantheon of sci-fi booty and become that persona on stage.

 

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Doug:
Oh My Frickin Lords of Kobol!

 

---

Mike:
Yeah, so picture it, here comes, say, Deanna Troi in her funky accent, "I'm sensing you're very attracted to me and desire a lap dance on the observation deck."

 

---

Doug:
How much!?!?!

 

---

Mike:
"400 quatloos to get on the newcomah!"

 

---

Doug:
Build it and we will come.

 

---

Comments

[Bob]

Oh God, I'm gonna Empath any second!

[COD]

Let me be the first to quote the Guinness guys today...Brilliant!

[buckner was framed]

absolutely- no way will I get any work done today, thanks to you hb

[buckner was framed]

...just as long as Whoopi isn't one of the dancers

[IkeG]

"Not just any run of the mill pole joint reeking of cheap perfume and urinal cakes, no, I'm talking a first-class place" ... yeah, how many 'gentleman's clubs' do you think started with such lofty ideals ... only to end up such that the classiest offering was Saturday night jello wrestling followed by Sunday morning "Legs and Eggs"?

Got to hand it to you, though, you've probably got a million-$ idea there.

Gary Sheffield, what a schmuck. I hope the Sox never really had interest in the guy.

[louclinton]

Nice

Vegan Vegas Vixens®

I'm in.

lc

[jdog71]

Great idea...themed strip clubs would rock. You could do a Lord of the Rings one with Liv Tyler lookalikes, bearded dwarf women, ent-wives etc. I'd like to see a female superhero one personally...Catwoman, Wonder Woman, She-Hulk...woot woot!

[Mike H]

Yeah, right. Real Sox fans have no time for fantasies about Las Vegas strip clubs. We just move there, like I did in 2004, and go there every night until it all gets boring.

Sadly, I don't think a SciFi themed strip club could succeed, because the majority of SciFi nerds have no money and their other fetishes (feet, backhair and nasal emissions) take prescient over wholesome ones like this strip suggests.

A strip club where a bunch of women march around in the bikini from Anger Management, however, would be something to see. Could rekindle my faith in shoving money down women's pants.

M

[h.b.]

So what would you call such a place?

Would you be corny and go with some derivation of recognized sci-fi name, e.g., "Star Trix"?

Or would you play it more straight, and just call the place something right out of one of the shows, like "Wrigley's," the pleasure planet refered to in STOS? Or maybe just "Kobol" as that just as an erotically charged ring to it.

[h.b.]

Sci-fi fans have quite a bit of money, actually. You ever seen the auctions? Some dude paid a couple grand for the underwear T'Pol wore in the radioactive shower scene in Enterprise Season 1.

And the model for the Enterprise "D" from STG just the other day sold for $576,000.

[Bob]

Well, the obvious name for a Sci-fi strip club is Star Date. But there are some more subtle terms that could be fun, like Class M, or Neutral Zone that at least sound cool.

I guess a gay sci-fi strip club would be called Jefferies Tube, right?

[Billy Mahty]

Holy s&*(, hilarious first panel h.b. Well done.

How about Mos Eyescandy Cantina?

[Follower of Tito]

Would that mean when the A/C is cranked up in the club the gals dancing would have "tracker beams"?

I can hear it know, "Is that a photon torpedo in your pocket or are you enjoying the show?"

[Rob in CT]

Nice, hb. This line of discussion practically guarantees you a minimum 75+ comments from all geek babe-alicious sci-fi fantasists (um, us).

You're paid by the click, aren't you? :D

Wish you'd made a couple of old school references to Uhura or Yeoman Janice, etc. Doh, and there they are. (Anyone remember that really hot blue chick from the episode of the original Star Trek? Woot!)

[h.b.]

Oh, man, Bob, "Star Date" is so, so good as a name.

[COD]

I think H.B. may have hit upon one thing that Yankee and Sox fans can agree on. Naked sci-fi babe strippers would be a very good thing.

[mikeya2k1]

i was gonna say i want to see the blue chica from the original startrek but the whoopi reference just ruined the whole thing for me. to qoute sienfeld "its shrunk like a fightened turtle"

[h.b.]

Want to add as well that I'm glad to hear this strip is going over so well.

This idea has been kicking around my head for a couple weeks now, but I didn't have total confidence in it.

Today, however, I had nothing, not even anything for Lisa, so had decided to just put up a "got nothing, enjoy the weekend" kind of notice when I though, hell, I'll run the sci-fi strip club idea out there. Even if it's horrible, it's better than nothing.

I bring this up because I think that one of the toughest tests we face in life is having to filter out the side of brains that tells us an idea or whatever "isn't good enough."

[Rob in CT]

"its shrunk like a frightened turtle..."

Mikey - you're killing me over here! You been looking at pictures of Olive Oyl again? LOL

[louclinton]

If I ever fell victim to the "isn't good enough" side of my brain, I would never post on here.
lc

[mikeya2k1]

rob in ct you beat me to the punch again...hey your not my bro in law by anychance?

[Follower of Tito]

Okay..one more, then I have to get back to work...in Vegas are strippers allowed to show their "worm hole"?

[Jason O.]

Hopefully you will be able to order the Picard Maneuver...two women on you at once...

[mikeya2k1]

wow !! its done by part of the brain?? and all this time i thought it was vodka

[Bob]

Tito: "Worm Hole" would be a good name for the sleazy strip joint across the street from H.B.'s classy place (see Glass Slipper versus Centerfolds).

[Rob in CT]

The "isn't good enough" side of my brain is my left side. That's the side of the bed my wife sleeps on. (Badoom - *ching*)

[GaryGeiger]

Just goes to show h.b, trust your instincts....if any doubts creep in, see the motivational poster, or seek ye the absinthe.
What superheroine would Michelle Damon be?

[h.b.]

Michelle would make a good "7 of 9" from STNG.

[NolaSox]

Conversely, is the lack of Sci Fi studs a way for the presumed "nerdy" viewers to feel better about their spectacled, pocket protected selves. There is not alot of eye candy for the female (or gay) viewers so it's no wonder 95% of the audience is male. There is usually something off about the male characters - Spock - pointy ears, Jordi - banana clip glasses, Worf - exaggerated forehead ridges, Dr. Who (BBC) - dorky scarf, Lister (Red Dwarf) - poor hygiene and curry breath, Picard - bald, etc.

That being said, after looking at the imdb Firefly pics maybe I should finally watch those DVD's (but that show also supports my theory because it was cancelled).

This theory also does not necessarily hold true for the big screen e.g. Rufus Sewell - Dark City, Blade Runner, Star Wars)

[h.b.]

I dunno, Nola, James T. Kirk had the quintessential commander look for that time period. He doesn't seem effete or soft to me. And, if you believe the tales of what Shatner was like in real life, it seems plenty of women were reading, willing, and able to "energize" with him.

And I know a fair share of women who thought Picard was dreamy. From my male eye's, Picard was definitely "a man's man" and, again, he came across as strong and decisive, a good male role model. (I think with Picard and Riker, and to a certain extent for the tween girl crowd with Wesley, they clearly had attracting a female audience in mind. And it's well documented that in STOS the character Checkov was brought in specifically for that reason. He was to be a "Davy Jones" of the Monkees kind of guy.)

As for gays, my gosh, they love Doctor Who. It was an inside joke for years that the various Doctors were gay and the most recent incarnation of Doctor Who winked at that on more than one occassion.

As for Firefly, wow, what a show. Watch it on DVD.

[Chili]

h.b., you've gotta be careful when throwing abbreviations around like "BSG". I instinctively assume you're talking about the Boston Sports Guy. I think I'm finally caught up now with the sci-fi show banter being batted around today (although this engineer and nerd-school graduate has never seen an episode of any of the shows you're talking about -- except the original Dr. Who circa early 80's).

Anyway, this member of the clueless and uninitiated will bow out now and let those in-the-know keep the discussion going. Keep up the Lostaholix there, h.b. Six, two and even.

[NolaSox]

I think if you changed Picard's accent and deep voice - his dreamy factor would diminish - but I have to admit that I was reluctant to use him as an example.

And I forgot about Wesley as teen girl bait, but I found this quote of his on imdb "(On his teenage years) I was such a geek that if I could go back in time, I would kick my own ass."

I was too young (or not born) to appreciate Shatner in his attractive days. His association with Priceline (a company I believe is truly evil) for me personally taints his attractiveness.

And Davy Jones and Tom Baker! Hold me back from those two hotties. I won't be getting any work done now.

I am willing to be proven wrong - I was just working from the "isn't good enough" side to theorize about the "Weird Science" practice of casting.

Amazon accidentally sent us someone else's copies of Firefly and Serenity instead of one of the Red Dwarf seasons so I will dig those out to watch during my hopefully-soon-to-start maternity leave.

[Rob in CT]

"Weird Science" -- Mmmmmm...Kelly LeBreck. Damn she was hot! Emphasis on the "was". I caught her on one of those celebrity weight loss shows on cable, and she looked like a Macy's T-Day balloon. Hate to go back to this again, but Kelly's got herself a bad case of "Olive Oyl Syndrome". :(

Good luck with the baby leave, NOLA!

[Jason O.]

hb, exactly, it was Picard's Royal Shakespeare co. training that made TNG...Shatner great, a total ham, shot from the hip, schlonged all the babes, et al...

...and along comes Henry V or WS's Marc Antony to the bridge...the TNG "revival" would never have worked unless they found an actor who was the antithesis of Shatner...and Stewart's casting was brilliant.

[Jason O.]

In the "first contact" movie, when Picard apologizes to Worf: "In fact, you are the bravest man I have ever known"...No one could have delivered that line like Stewart...

[h.b.]

Stewart is awesome.

Nola, as for Tom Baker, well, one of my own sci-fi hottie, Romana 2, actually married Tom Baker in real life, so he had some allure. But maybe it's a British thing. (I am a bit of an Anglophile at times myself.)

[NolaSox]

Oh, God, my memory just served up Gil Gerard!

[Rob in CT]

I can still hear Mel Blanc's voice: "Okay, BUCK. Bee-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee..."

Hey Bob, would they be serving Vulcan Death Grips at the Star Date? "Gimme a 'Mind Meld', and make it a double..."

[jimindenver]

Let's not forget the boys of BSG out there. Both editions had/have a fair bit to offer the ladies.

[Dave S.]

So...if Thursday is Lostaholix, is Friday Scifiholix?

The bridge is yours, HB. Make it so!

[Dave S.]

...speaking of Patrick Stewart...did anyone see the "Extras" with him on it? It's piss-n-yer-pants funny. "But it was too late. I'd seen everything."

[jen in HI]

What?? Dr. Who was GAY???? I am such a fool.

[h.b.]

With the Doctor it really seemed to depend on the particular regeneration he was in.

The 7th Doctor, played by Sylvester McCoy, certainly seemed to go that way.

But Tom Baker, #4, seemed to definitely have a thing for the ladies.

Others have been more asexual in nature.

The Ninth Doctor, played by Christopher Eccleston, most directly spoke to the sexuality of the Doctor, and projected a sort of "goes both ways" demeanor, or, perhaps more correctly, suggested that he knows other regenerations did, for he also made it pretty clear he had a thing for Rose.

The Tenth Doctor, well, I've only watched one of those because of my "only watch shows in HDTV" pledge, so I'm not sure.

[Bob]

Rob, no Vulcan Death Grips at "Star Date." But if you pay the girls enough money, you might just hear: "Captain, she's gonna blow!"

[jen in HI]

thanks hb. I am CLEARLY out of my league here. But I do love the idea of a sci-fi themed strip club. Hi-larry-us. And now I'm going to figure out how I can watch the current Dr. Who...because that guy is HOT.

[Rob in CT]

'you might just hear: "Captain, she's gonna blow!" '

LOL. I suspect I'd be hearing Scotty in my head, "Cap'n, the engines, they kenna' take any more!"

[NolaSox]

Speaking of Captains - I would be one happy camper if they put Tek in some thigh hugging Sci Fi Spandex.

[jen in HI]

I'll high five that, NoLa. I'm totally ready for the resurgence of heavily spandexed baseball players.

[h.b.]

And here's the music that needs to be blasting when V-Tek sci-fi hero comes on screen...

Window media link

Man, that gets me pumped.

[soxdownunder]

Pris from Blade Runner played by Darryl Hannah ..... mmmmmmmmm
The 'she's perfect' girl from The Fifth Element ....... mmmmmmmmm
The Triple Breasted Whore of Erotica Six from Hitchhikers Guide ......
I'm in.

[soxdownunder]

And the name of the joint 'pleasure model replicants' or 'dorkys'

[soxdownunder]

And there could be vampires from the future also ...

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0370032/4207.jpg.html?path=pgallery&path_key=Jovovich,%20Milla&seq=4

[Rob in CT]

"The 'she's perfect' girl from The Fifth Element ....... mmmmmmmmm"

That would be Mila Jovovich as Leeloo (sp?), and I couldn't agree more.

"The Triple Breasted Whore of Erotica Six from Hitchhikers Guide ......"

I'm decidedly OUT. But to each his/her own...

Have a great weekend everybody.

GREAT JOB THIS WEEK, hb!

[Bob]

I'm over and out for the week, too. Have a great one everybody. Ditto on the work this week, H.B. Stellar stuff.

[louclinton]

I heard they had a World Series this week.

Thanks, St. L for rolling over in '04.

lc

[meredith]

Seeing as the stereotypical SFen geek doesn't have many options *other* than going to a strip club, I'd say you have one heluva concept here, hb.

Save some space in the club for the gay females, though. I'd gladly pay extra for a lap dance from the Boomer character, or the Starbuck ... :)