My boyfriend's back and there's gonna be trouble

Doug:
So the long national nightmare is ovah …

 

---

Mike:
Absolutely. Ortiz is back and Pap's rotahtah cuff is fine.

 

---

Doug:
Well, yeah, there's that …

 

---

Mike:
Dude, what else is there?

 

---

Doug:
Ah, c'mon, get out from undah your rock and behold the at long last unveiling of Suri Cruise! Alas, now I can get on with my life.

 

---

Mike:
Heh. So true. Meanwhile Shaughnessy has found his meme and he's sticking to it: The Red Sox front [cough] Theo Epstein [cough] office gave up on the club too soon and now we are totally fucked.

 

---

Doug:
Yeah, totally gotta give the CHB credit for his gamble paying off. I mean back ovah two weeks ago, in the midst of one of the nastiest tailspins evah, he floats the idea that the Sox management is living for 2007 and forsaking 2006.

 

---

Doug:
I mean at the time, most everyone thought the season was sunk, so that "why are they quitting now?" angle was a real deviation from the conventional wisdom.

 

---

Doug:
Now with the club showing glimmahs of a revival of sorts, taking it to the Chi Sox and gaining games in the Wild Card race, the CHB can really shake his curly locks and get his total fucking gloat on. Brah-vo.

 

---

Mike:
Yeah, you go Dan-O, whoop that bitch Theo for "raising the white flag."

 

---

Doug:
Fuck yeah, because if anyone can teach us a lesson in being hopeful and nevah evah giving up on the Red Sox, it's Dan 'Sunshiny Day' Shaughnessy.

 

---

Comments

[louclinton]

I'm still not buying it.

Wake me up when our number 1 pitcher is not Julian la Cara Tiene Gusto de la Máscara de un Colector.

Do you really think we can roll out JT, Gabby, and Schnide to start the ALDS?

yic,

lc

[Rob in CT]

No shit! "For what it's worth?" I nearly threw up in the back of my throat when I read that headline. Back to his winning ways one day after I managed to cough up an accolade for him on the Lester column. CHB=Prick.

Nice job by young Kason G. last night, helped by a couple of great plays by the infield, esp. Lowell's grab(s). And welcome back, Papi!

I'll be at the game tonight - Sec. 35. Anybody in the area shouting out "Soxaholix" during the middle of the 2nd inning gets a free beer on me if I hear you over the crowd. Sweep o' the Pale Hose would be nice, don't you think?

[h.b.]

lc,

FWIW the characters aren't buying it either. But they do wonder what a shit storm it'll be courtesy of the CHB if, as someone pointed out yesterday, the Sox miss out on the wildcard by a game.

It won't just be the trading of Wells but it'll be the not signing a Bobby Abreu at the deadline that we'll have to hear about all winter long.

[Billy Mahty]

I just had a vision of Rob from CT sitting in section 35, his jaw dropped and a look of slight fear as he makes out a chant that begins and spreads throughout the entire stadium: "SOX-A-HO-LIX!" clap-clap-clapclapclap...

[grunherz]

If by some incredible miracle (1-2 percent by most oddsmakers) the Red Sox get to the post-season, I don't think the ride will be very long.

I think it's best to just enjoy the remaining games with the rare perspective of seeing the guys play without the impending stress of a pennant race.

And then pray that by conceding the division in early September, the Sox didn't just give Yankee fans a better shot at their long-awaited number 27.

[Dave S.]

Sorry to say it, but the only sniff of the postseason that the Sox will get this year will be of its taint. Bad luck and a string of ridiculous injuries simply piled on. The idea that the Sox hanging onto David Wells was somehow going to keep them in any kind of race (BP's postseason odds after yesterday's win: 1.6%), in the words of Jesus Qunitana, is just laughable, man. It's bush league soccer stuff.

Seeing just how many players are on the mend with the Red Sox gives a sense of just how hard the shit hit the fan this year: Varitek, Nixon, Ramirez, Ortiz, Papelbon, Lester...who else am I missing? What kind of crack is CHB smoking?

[yazbread]

I did not watch Katie Couric's debut last night but I understand she had a bit on the Cruise kid. Talk about making a statement - national network news is so far removed from the days of Huntley-Brinkley, Cronkite, and Howard K. Smith/Frank Reynolds. Does anyone think that kid looks a little old for five months? Reminds me of the original Damien. With such a healthy head of hair, someone should shave her down to look for the mark of the beast.

I would not call the last two victories by the Sox a 'tease'. The season is over and the White Sox seem to be letting the Twinkies slip away.

[Rob in CT]

Dammit Billy, you're getting me in trouble here at the office. I'm supposed to be quietly working on an "important" project and your comment had me laughing so hard that The Man stuck his head in my door to find out what's so funny.

Guess I should have been a little clearer about "THE FIRST" person to call out Soxaholix gets the over-priced, watered-down suds. :-D

Still, the vision of the entire stadium chanting "SOX-A-HO-LIX!" clap-clap-clapclapclap is a pretty sweet one! Maybe I could put all those beers on Mahty Silverstein's tab...

Thanks for the chuckle.

[IkeG]

Mahty: Rob's response would be "What's that? I couldn't hear you over the crowd chanting 'suck so hole ex'"

There was no reason to hang onto Wells. See lc's post ... would "JT-Gabby-Schnide" look much better if it were "Tubby-Gabby-Schnide"? Let's just concentrate on getting healthy for '07. If they win some big games, all the better.

Kason went rolling along. Nice job, rook.

[Dave S.]

I think there can be a real long-term psychological advantage to the "reload for 2007" mindset. There can be a stress-free environment for September, players can operate without additional physical strain, get their innings and at-bats without killing themselves. With the pressure removed, they can loosen up, and think about health for next year. I definitely see the 2006 Red Sox season as a fluke. I will be very surprised indeed if the Red Sox are anything but back in the thick of it next year. They'll be rested, hopefully healthy, and hungry to win.

[h.b.]

Where's Paddy to piss all over this parade of optimism??? Heh.

[Son of Hamulack]

Did anyone notice that instead of running the Yankees game as its featured AP story, the globe ran the twinkies? Anybody who thinks the Yanks can head into the post-season confident of meeting the Mets with Wang as the star of their rotation is high.

I think the disasterous west coast road trip pretty much sealed the season, but that doesn't mean I'm not rooting for a sweep of Chicago, the Yankees and the Twinkees. I'm not as Bat Shit as Tavarez but if any of those happen its a hell of a way to save face and if another team stumbles as hard as Chicago, these bad news bears might make the post-season again!

[Kaz]

I think Suri's cover shot is an amalgam of lesser babies put together in Photoshop to create an uber cute baby.

...not unlike the Red Sox currently taking the field.

[Natalie]

Two thoughts: When did hope become a four letter word and why are people (particularly those in the media) so much more invested in ultimately being right than in rooting for a team to the finish? We're a RSNation of quitters! I mean, I think it's cooler to say, 'you know, I think they can do it!' and take the chance of seeming as blind as a newborn babe if they tank, than it is to write off a season before it's mathematically over just so one can have the cynical pleasure of bailing early. Even Edes is jumping on the CHB bandwagon [comments in brackets mine]: "Say, hey. Two in a row. Pennant fever grips Hub. [Where? Who?] Let's slow down a bit, shall we? [Who's moving fast?] Getting everybody back into the Red Sox lineup is nice. Back-to-back wins behind impressive pitching against one of baseball's top offenses is certainly encouraging. But playoffs? That's the Rainbow Connection. ["The Rainbow Connection?" Well, so was coming back from an 0-3 deficit to the Yankees in 2004.]"

I'm gonna Pollyanna out, root root root for the home team, and pray for a playoff berth. What can it hurt? It's still the best game ever invented being played by the most awesome franchise ever!

PS- I am aware this is the most hypocritical comment ever posted given the fact that I claimed to have given up a week ago :) What can I say, I'm in a good mood today...

[Rob in CT]

"What can I say, I'm in a good mood today..."

Nat - unexpected good pitching against a good team will do that for a person. God bless you, Pollyanna. Beisabol is truly the grandest game ever invented, (well, along with Uno, now THAT'S a fun game!) and we do have the pleasure of rooting for the most rootable-for team in the game.

Okay, maybe it's just because I'm excited about going to the Park tonight, but what the heck, I'm on the bandwagon with you. Yea, Red Sox!

[Follower of Tito]

Nat and Rob, I'll move over and make room. Having been called overly optimistic and naive, I have remained quietly on the band wagon (since I was 7...during the Johnson administration).

To paraphrase:"It ain't over 'til me ex-wife...er...fat lady sings!"

Besides, great memories are not always associated with great seasons. Last night my step-son was at the Fens. The hair on the back of his neck stood up when Papi came up for the first at-bat...that's the magic.

[IkeG]

I'm staying off the bandwagon. My blood pressure can't take the strain. However, if our guys manage to make the playoffs I will gladly listen to Nat, Rob, and FoT as they chant "Ike-G-suh-ucks" (clap clap clapclapclap).

[Rob in CT]

No nasty chanting, Ike. If they really do make the playoffs, it'll be high-fives all around. I won't even say "I told you so", because, well, I won't have told you so. I'm not stupid about it (I hope), just deciding here and now to keep rooting for the team and not let the highs or lows mean quite so much. If by some freak of nature they do get to the post-season? Well, woo-hoo!!

Someone else referred to it recently as "liberating". Perhaps that's so. I'll tell you one thing, I'm going to go have a great time at the game tonight, without the do or die anxiety I too often feel watching a Sox game. FoTito has it right - I want that hair standing up on the back of my head when Papi comes to the plate, too.

[Jason O.]

yazbread, innovation has severed our connection between the world of Huntley/Brinkley and our fragmented age. Guys like that were necessary b/c people could only get the news from a few newspapers and one of three networks.

Unfortunately, today Cronkite would never make it off the CBS news writing staff. The upside is that the flow of news is less like a fountain of wisdom and more like a flood, and subject to massive scrutiny.

the bottom line: Couric looks damn fine at 50.

[Bob]

//I just had a vision of Rob from CT sitting in section 35, his jaw dropped and a look of slight fear as he makes out a chant that begins and spreads throughout the entire stadium: "SOX-A-HO-LIX!" clap-clap-clapclapclap...//

Ha! And if they all chant it in perfect unison, they'll ALL be the first to say it. You're gonna be buying beers two-at-a-time for hours, Rob.