Don't look back, er, or up. Something might be gaining on you.
Bill:
We're numbah 2 again! Whooo!
Doug:
Fucking-A right. Nobody does second place bettah than the Red Sox.
Bill:
OK, maybe it's because I'm just wicked pissed at how this season ended. Or maybe I'm just a cruel A-hole, but this totally cracks me up.
Doug:
Bitch needs to learn to move her ass out of the way.
Bill:
And if I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times: Wearing a trash bag rain coat won't protect you from flying spears. OK, people?
Doug:
Hey, did you see Schilling's slip of the tongue? Says "if" he comes back next year.
Bill:
Yeah, well, I feel the same way myself.
Bill speaks for many.
I watched the game last night, very sad that the season will be over and I can't go to my fuzzy place in front of NESN.
lc
Posted by: louclinton | 2006.09.27 at 09:58 AM
And she learned a lesson that day: If all you have is a javelin, you should do something other than play catch.
Posted by: Ryan with a capital "R" | 2006.09.27 at 10:01 AM
Woot!! Numbah two mutha fuckahs!!!
Posted by: da'beads | 2006.09.27 at 10:02 AM
There's always the new revamped B's lc
Posted by: harwich rich | 2006.09.27 at 10:02 AM
BTW each time I reveal a bit more of the "real me" and what my thoughts are on any given topic, the closer it moves this site to it's final end.
So it's best not to draw me out too much. :)
Re: the above from yesterday, a co-worker and I have a long-held theory that this strip is only the beginning for you, h.b. The end of this strip would be the beginning of another way to unleash you musings. As per the Tao, "the only constant is change".
BTW-"bitch needs to learn to move her ass out of the way" is Doug at his finest!
Go Bruins!
Posted by: vermonter | 2006.09.27 at 10:04 AM
If you click on the link to original article at Deadspin, there's a slightly different picture, bearing witness to an alternate look of agony on the judge's face. The two together would make for a nifty little animation.
Oh, Schadenfreude, will you ever grow tiresome?
Posted by: Dave S. | 2006.09.27 at 10:07 AM
What do you make of this T.O. trying to off himself business?
Posted by: harwich rich | 2006.09.27 at 10:22 AM
I have a caption for that picture:
Hey Assholes, stop fucking comforting me and pull the javelin out of my foot, mmkay?
Rich: I think everyone should lay off of Owens for a while. A suicide attempt like that is a sign of significant mental health issues.
Posted by: Jason O. | 2006.09.27 at 10:32 AM
It's always been blatantly obvious that T.O. has attention/mental issues. This is just his "cry for help" when he's not making news from his bed.
Grumble grumble overpaid grumble babies grumble...
Posted by: Kaz | 2006.09.27 at 10:45 AM
oh c'mon!! we'll all be back next year whos kidding who. we all live for this roller coaster known as RED SOX NATION. hell we'll be here for the start of the second season the hotstove league. (my fav by the way)and in conclusion ( i hope im the first to say this) WAIT'LL NEXT YEAR BITCHES!!!
Posted by: mikeya | 2006.09.27 at 10:53 AM
If the suicide thing is true, then it certainly changes the tenor of any conversation about the guy. In my view he's gone from attention-starved brat to tragic figure in no time flat.
I never thought a javelin could actually pierce a canvas shoe, much less someone's foot. JO, I thought the same thing:
"Are you okay? What happened?"
"I got a goddamn spear in my foot, genius!"
"Where does it hurt?"
"In my foot, where else, dumbass?"
Posted by: IkeG | 2006.09.27 at 10:53 AM
Kaz, I differ in the following perspective...Owens has behaved like the prototype grumbling overpaid baby that you suggest, no doubt.
there's also no question that opportunistic bullshitters use mental health issues as a mask for their actions.
In this case (if true), I don't believe that swallowing 30 or so painkillers is a ploy.
Posted by: Jason O. | 2006.09.27 at 10:58 AM
I wonder if she stumbled a few feet after she was hit. And if so, does that count toward the javelin thrower's total distance?
Re: T.O. From what I read, he had 40 pain killers available, and he took only five. Not so much a cry for help as a whimper.
Still, any suicide attempt, no matter how pathetic, is indeed cause for concern.
Posted by: Bob | 2006.09.27 at 10:58 AM
Jason-
Didn't read yesterday's post until late, but I don't think anyone addressed your question about Ted the Head's museum being at the Trop. I remember reading somewhere that the funding had dried up and attendance was down at it's original site near Ted's retirement community home. Also, I think the caretaker couldn't continue on, either, so the decision was made to move it to the closest park. I don't know the specifics about who owns the stuff, etc- and I agree it's a total shame that someone connected with RSN doesn't step up and get it back here where it belongs. Not much of an answer, I know, but maybe someone else can fill in the blanks for ya
Posted by: buckner was framed | 2006.09.27 at 11:00 AM
Bob- actually, I read that he had a prescription for 40 pills, had only taken five PRIOR, and then took the remaining 35 in one fell swoop. I hope he is getting the help he needs. I feel very bad for anyone who is in that kind of deep pain.
Speaking of pain, that pic, ouch! I may be out to lunch on the whole javelin thing, but Doug seems to have hit the nail on the head... I'd think one would have enough time to move, this ain't exactly a close play at the plate scenario.
Posted by: Natalie | 2006.09.27 at 11:02 AM
Yep, Natalie is correct. He wasn't taking his pain pills as prescribed, so had 35 going into last night when he downed the remainder.
I should come clean on something, too: I've always thought TO was pretty funny and looked forward to his antics. So I'm especially bummed out about this suicide attempt.
Posted by: h.b. | 2006.09.27 at 11:09 AM
Just had a chance to read yesterday's comments and this made me laugh out loud:
This might be the greatest comment thread in the history of Soxaholix. Nice to know that there are some very well-thinking people who read this strip. Intelligent political argument FTW.
Posted by: Billy Mahty | 2006.09.27 at 11:11 AM
Seems like every story I read on T.O. has a different "number of pills ingested." (Most say five at first, then two when a friend arrived. But a TV station is saying 35). Guess we'll just have to wait for the real number. Or whatever T.O.'s people and the Cowboys want us to think is the real number.
Posted by: Bob | 2006.09.27 at 11:12 AM
buckner, in the same vein it pisses me off that Babe's museum is in Baltimore. I know that's his home town, but there's also a location known as the house that Ruth built, fer Chrissakes.
Since they are in their own two person class in terms of hitting (screw Bonds), I propose that the museums should be side by side somewhere.
Posted by: Jason O. | 2006.09.27 at 11:14 AM
Yeah, 35 of those opioids'll kill you for sure. If the reports are right, this is no 10 Tylenol "attempt". It actually puts all of TO's history of silliness into real perspective: his instability, beyond the antics we all found ridiculous and funny (I'm squarely in that camp), seems real.
But let's keep on the javelin bit. Bob, I spit out some coffee at your comment. But if anything, considering the fact the spear came OUT THE BOTTOM OF HER GODDAMN SHOE, I'd guess she was more likely pinned to the spot, or hopping in a little circle. Talk a bout a misjudged fly ball. The angle of entry had to be really, really steep as well, considering it went through the cuff of her jeans before it even hit her foot. Yowza.
Posted by: Dave S. | 2006.09.27 at 11:17 AM
Just got caught up w/ yesterdays comments... and count me as one of the new "lostaholics." I netflix'ed season 1 over the summer, and bought season 2 just so I could be caught up by next week. Next I have to search the archives here to see all the comments on everything I missed 9 months ago...
And count me as one of the skeptics, h.b... Last year's record hurricane season people blamed on global warming; this year's dramatic fall-off in activity is attributed to el-Nino, which those same people say is caused by... (wait for it...) Global Warming. Is the world getting warmer? Probably. But don't tell me the reasons my flower garden is dead is global warming, when I saw the neighbors dog shit all over it last week. All I'm convinced of is that most people don't have a fucking clue.
Posted by: miketc | 2006.09.27 at 11:37 AM
In re: Lost
My reaction to season 2 was (characteristically) varied from week to week. I wanted more to chew on and frequently got little more than gum blisters from the lack of substance. I did enjoy the creepy irish guy and the creepy pancake-faced guy.I thought Mr. Eko was going to take over the show, only to basically have him go missing for the last while (if I am remembering correctly). I think we need to know more about Locke, and absolutely must have more of the Korean woman in diaphanous shirts.
Also, not to open up another can of crawfish, but for some reason I was watching Boston Legal (which I have never before watched) last night (time has been a bitch to C Bergen btw), and they have Capt Kirk trying to pick up a ballsy female midget lawyer. David Kelley is a genius. I might be hooked.
l Captain Video c
Posted by: louclinton | 2006.09.27 at 11:50 AM
lou,
Shatner rules. ST, TJ Hooker, Bos legal, in anything.
Posted by: Jason O. | 2006.09.27 at 12:00 PM
JO - Shatner rules, yes. Do not forget his great album "I'm Real" from a couple of years ago, produced ably by Ben Folds.
Posted by: larryhere | 2006.09.27 at 12:04 PM
Too bad T.O. didn't save a few of those pain killers for that javelin judge. Ouch. Sumbitch, that's gotta hurt!
As to T.O. himself, I agree that his "cry for help" has gone beyond the pale. I'm a hater on T.O., but that's just sad and a cause for genuine concern, assuming the situation is what is being reported.
Posted by: Rob in CT | 2006.09.27 at 12:07 PM
Having some experience with opiod overdose (professional, not personally...yet), T.O. likely did not take nearly as many as folks are saying if he is in fact back home only 18 hours after the ingestion. Here's why: Most prescription opiod/pain medications have acetaminophen (tylenol) mixed in to prevent the inappropriate use of said pills (i.e., crushing and melting them so you can shot up). The best example is Vicodin (hydrocodon & acetaminophen). So, if T.O. toke 35 of them, the opiod overdose is fairly easy to reverse/stop with activated charcoal, narcan, etc. It is the acetaminophen toxicity that is actually more dangerous in the long run and would require numerous oral doses of a drug called Mucomyst (N-acetylcysteine) over a minimum of 20 hours. Then the acetaminophen levels would have to be followed down until normal. The stuff is nasty so we have to watch patients take and make sure it stays down...if anyone was interested.
Posted by: Follower of Tito | 2006.09.27 at 12:43 PM
There is a benefit to the Sox standings slide: cheap tickets.
Headed to the Green Monster tonight on $60 standing-room tickets picked up off StubHub. I'll be wearing a Stonecrafters T-shirt if you want to say hi.
Posted by: dunster | 2006.09.27 at 01:16 PM
I like Boston Legam a lot, too. Very funny stuff. Shatner and Spader have great chemistry together.
Posted by: Bob | 2006.09.27 at 02:05 PM
And so the spin begins:
Publicist Kim Etheredge said in various interviews Wednesday with Dallas-area media that the police have gotten the story wrong. She said she was with Owens, who was having trouble because he'd mixed his pain pills with supplements. She said she called for help because he was becoming unresponsive.
Posted by: Bob | 2006.09.27 at 02:22 PM
Any of you guys read The Onion? Manny made the sports page:http://tinyurl.com/bj3lb
"Manny being Manny during Mass. St. driver's license photo"
And I think the title of the Ben Folds/Shatner album is "Has Been"...and it's GREAT.
Posted by: jen in HI | 2006.09.27 at 03:04 PM
Whatever the cause or effect I wasn't making light of the situation when I brought it up. Life's too short as it is.
Posted by: harwich rich | 2006.09.27 at 03:13 PM
P.S. Boston Legal rocks. It's good to see Michael J. getting some meaningful work at this stage.
Posted by: harwich rich | 2006.09.27 at 03:15 PM
I feel for TO with Bledsoe as his QB throwing the ball to the wrong team, I am not surprised he went into depression.
All jokes aside, if in fact this is true it is a serious matter.
Another comment from yesterday. I am not in any way shape or form advocating violence toward our Muslim neighbors. I am opposed to the war and would like nothing else than to let them beat their wives and burn their books in peace.
Here's to SUV's. The sooner we use up all the oil the better off we will all be.
Posted by: Scott | 2006.09.27 at 03:52 PM
Wake me when September ends. Better yet, don't.
Posted by: tessie | 2006.09.27 at 04:58 PM
i think the brazilian attempt to bastardized sports to be more like soccer er..football (ie..i dont know the name but they did it to beach volleyball, where you can only use your feet) has gone horribly wrong here. controlling a 50 yard javelin volley with your foot, unlucky! imagine if she went for the header uhgh.
Posted by: h.i. soxfan | 2006.09.27 at 07:10 PM
Jen - Yes, it's called Has Been. I was just thinking of the last song, the one with Brad Paisley. My bad.
Posted by: larryhere | 2006.09.27 at 11:53 PM