Feast or famine

Doug:
In honah of David Wells gutsy performance last night, gimme 3 dogs and paint 'em red, 'Turo.

 

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Doug:
And maybe I'll chase 'em with a shot a whiskey, because the Fat Man gets it done.

 

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Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
With a little help from Coco, Hansen, the P-Bon and, of course, the Big Papi.

 

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Doug:
Only 2 back of the Yanks with a 5 gamah coming up, there's hope for these bums yet.

 

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Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
Are you kidding me, if they can find the Jon Benet Ramsey killah aftah 10 years, anything's possible.

 

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Doug:
That fucking creep's a school teachah, too. Can you imagine?

 

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Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
Yeah, fucked up world. How 'bout that crazy bitch who forced the plane down at Logan.

 

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Doug:
No shit. Said she was gonna piss in the sink. What kind of "threat" is that anyway?

 

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Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
Yeah, this country beat the shit out of the Japs and the Huns in DubDub2, now we're downing planes ovah some nutjob with a piss fetish?

 

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Doug:
You know she was from Vermont, right?

 

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Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
No kidding? Hmm. Well, you know what they say. You can take the hillbilly out of Vermont, but you can't take the Vermont out of the hillbilly.

 

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Comments

[Jason O.]

Not a a bad point about WW2 from Arturo, but these Islamist fellows have learned their lesson from the North Vietnamese about how to fight asymmetric warfare against the modern world.
1) Blend in to population
2) Commit targeted acts of violence designed for maximum media impact & damage
3) Wait for public opinion to eventually crumble.
They tested their lessons from Vietnam in Afghanistan in the 80's. It's happening in Iraq and it just happened in Lebanon.

hmm...somebody also posted here earlier this year saying that Wells would come up big for the Red Sox at some point this year....

[Natalie]

Nice way to head into the weekend series, with both a Sox win and a Soxaholix long panel. Thanks, h.b.

Off to Boulder first thing in the a.m. (meaning 4am, but whatevs)- try not to have too much fun here without me... and GO SOX!!! I'll be surreptitiously checking scores via promised text messages from a friend during the slow songs :)

And on a creepier note: anyone else think this guy's story about killing JonBenet is just a little too contrived?

[COD]

Psychopaths have been known to take claim for crimes they had nothing to do with. They had DNA from under her fingernails - so we should know soon if he is really the killer, of just a nut.

[paddy24]

Don't worry about tonight's game. Johnson is due to throw a great game. Like...real...due.
1998 - 2-5 - 5.70
2000 - 1-10 - 7.02
2002 - 5-14 - 4.59
2005 - 8-13 - 4.54
2006 (Indians) - 3-8 - 5.96
2006 Red Sox) - 0-3 - 7.20
That's 55-97. Pedro (who we couldn't sign because Cabrera didn't do enough and we needed to spend 25 million for one year on Renteria) - 206-89. That's 151 more wins, yet 8 fewer losses. Best winning percentage in MLB history. Cabrera played great while in Boston and has been incredible since leaving. We could have had him for twenty million dollars less than Renteria (we had to eat ten million dollars to dump him) Lowe clinched all three games in the 2004 play-offs, could handle pitching on the big stage, ate up innings and is pitching well. Instead, we have "Head Case" Clement, "D.L.Wells", very good but highly paid Lowell, Coco, lousy Beckett, and very good Gonzalez instead of Pedro, Damon, Cabrera, incredible talent Hanley Ramirez, and Derek Lowe. We also took on the disruption that was Payton, yet let Roberts go. It all started with not having the funds to retain Pedro and Damon by wildly over-spending for no apparent reason on Renteria.
Luring Schilling by hiring Tito: brilliant. Picking up Papi: incredible. Signing Foulke: great job. Getting Roberts, Mueller, Bellhorn, Arroyo, Timlin, Millar and Cabrera: fantastic. Almost everything since then: not so good. Not so good at all. I'd like to give a personal thank you to Duquette (as should all Sox fans) for Wakefield from the scrap heap, Lowe and Varitek for nothing, and 3 for 3 big time signings of Pedro (after trade), Manny and Damon. Also drafting Nomar to get Cabrera. That's two of the three best position players on the 2004 team, the captain, and two starting pitchers. Well, I'm sure Johnson will have no problem with Abreu, A-Rod, Jeter, Giambi, Cano, Damon and Posada. LOL.

[h.b.]

So true about assymetric warfare.

However, if we cower over a nut job threatening to piss in a sink and take away everyone's water bottles when flying, I don't think we have a chance in hell of winning.

Homeland security is a joke. You know it. I know it. The Islamic jihadists know it better than anyone.

Time to get out my prayer rug, grow a beard, and toss out all the porn I guess.

[COD]

I'm not the least bit worried about tonight's game. In fact, I have absolutely no plans at all to even look for the Red Sox on TV tonight.

[yazbread]

Rumor has it on the flight from Thailand to the West Coast he confessed to the killing of Nicole Simpson as well. This will not hold up under examination and is simply a rush to judgement. Much like the manner in which I treated the fat man all season. I said that Wells was killing the Sox whenever he took the mound and he has proved me wrong his last two starts. One more win and Theo will probably begin drawing up a contract for next year.

[Natalie]

Wow, paddy, that was a serious buzzkill. I am going to go silently weep and rock myself into the fetal position in the corner...

Even if Johnson is as bad as you say (and at first glance I thought you were talking Randy :), there are still 4 other games. I have hope!

[paddy24]

I forgot 2004 - 8-15 - 5.13. I want to give Johnson credit for that great season.

[louclinton]

Last night was better. Hansen looked like a major league pitcher, as did The Fat Man.Nice economic pitch count after going ten pitches with the leadoff guy in inning 1.

I have tickets for Monday, so will be in a position to report on the Sweep (but whose?) in connection with this creepy comic strip on Tuesday.

Anything's possible, just ask John Carr.....

lc

[yazbread]

Paddy24,

You are much too harsh on Renteria. He could snag 'Comeback Player of the Year' in the NL. So his year in Boston was not a complete waste - he set the groundwork for 2006. Wonder if any of the departed members of the Class of '04 will get another ring this year.

[Bob]

I'm wary of this supposed JonBenet killer, too. Just read that his ex-wife is pooo-pooing the whole thing, because she was at home with the guy in Alabama the night JonBenet was killed. (And she's not trying to cover for him; she hates the guy. Divorced him after he was arrested for his first chickenhawk moves five years ago.)

[paddy24]

Yazbread,

The Renteria signing was a tremendous blunder. He made I believe 10 to 12 million and the Sox had to eat ten million just to get rid of him. Cabrera makes around 5 to 8 million (I'm not sure). That money could have gone to Pedro (had they made a competetive offer) and Damon. I'll take Pedro's 13-4s with 180 innings any time. What price tag can be put on the pitcher with the best winning percentage in the history of MLB? I don't know anyone that didn't want Cabrera back. Everyone questioned the Renteria signing immediately. He lost more games in more ways last year than any player I've seen in a long time. He had an inner tube around his waste. A total fat fuck. Bellhorn had the greatest four game stretch in the history of the play-offs. Clutch homer in Game 6. Huge insurance homer in Game
7 when the Yanks were coming back. Unbelievably huge game winning homer in Game 1 of W.S. to save the Sox from a collapse and big double in Game 2. The Sox showed no loyalty toward him. He's having a bad year but he should have been given more time to get it going last year. It's also clear that Youkilis was ready to start last year. Instead we had to be subjected to the statue Millar at 1B. It seems like merit has very little to do with who plays the past few years. Since early 2004, the best move the "genius" Theo has made was admitting the Renteria signing was terrible and getting out of that predicament. None of the pitching moves has worked out - at all.

[paddy24]

If merit ruled the day, anyone should have seen that Papelbon could have dominated as a starter in the play-offs. But big money Clement got to start.

[Dave S.]

I'm not sure if I understand how you really feel about the Red Sox current FO, Paddy. Could you spell it out in a little more detail?

[Kaz]

By your same analysis, paddy, you must be a huge Cashman/Yankees fan. I mean LOOK at that outstanding roster they have! Up and up and up!

Seriously, you're more in the closet about the Yankees than Tom Cruise is about being gay.

[Kaz]

//None of the pitching moves has worked out - at all.//

Um...except for Curt, right?

It's one thing for you to leave out the good parts (like JJ's 3 decent seasons with the O's).

It's another thing to actually act as if they don't exist to bolster your argument.

[COD]

Reporting from South Park, CO...

Paddy24 still has not come out of the closet. I repeat, Paddy 24 has not come out of the closet.

[Scott]

So true about assymetric warfare.

However, if we cower over a nut job threatening to piss in a sink and take away everyone's water bottles when flying, I don't think we have a chance in hell of winning.

Homeland security is a joke. You know it. I know it. The Islamic jihadists know it better than anyone.

Time to get out my prayer rug, grow a beard, and toss out all the porn I guess.

ROTFLMAO

God Bless the Fat Man. He has given me hope in these dark times.

[paddy24]

Kaz - I gave Theo props for Schilling. I stated that since early 2004 Theo hasn't made good moves. Compare this roster to the 2004 edition. No serious attempt at repeating has been made. Coco is no Damon. Lowell is comparable to Mueller, but I prefer Mueller. Sullen Wells, Stinky Beckett and "Head Case" Clement instead of Pedro and Lowe. Trouble maker Payton instead of Roberts. "Through the Wickets" Graffanino, then slap hitter Loretta instead of Mark "Money" Bellhorn. Fat Fuck Renteria and Gonzalez instead of Cabrera. Manny is one half of the whole team (despite not hustling) and they play head games with him constantly by waiving him and so on. He dominates. Theo is very fortunate that Manny doesn't do what any other player does. Sulk. Also, our incredible prospect Ramirez is gone and will finish in the top five for Rookie of the Year. Losing record against all teams not N.L or Baltimore. Swept by the Royals. Being a fan isn't simply saying "great move signing Coco and Beckett to long term deals before seeing them play more than a handful of games". Yeah. Real great moves. Manny and Papi dominate. Can they keep us in it? Maybe. But I seriously doubt it and few of these players are as good or as likeable as the 2004 players that were cast aside.

[h.b.]

Coco is no Damon.

Damon wasn't resigned because of this year, 2006. Everyone knew he'd have a great season. It's the latter years of that contract the Theo didn't want.

Let's compare the Coco with Damon in two years and then we'll see.

And let's not forget that there is more to what a GM does than trades and resigns, there is the draft.

The names Papelbon and Lester come to mind, and Hansen is holding his own.

As for 2004 players cast aside. Lowe has been mediocre at best. Pedro is on the DL, again...

Perfect? No. But that's baseball.

Theo could field a team of near sighted midgets and I'd still give him a pass, for now.

[Kaz]

Be fair, h.b....

Wily Mo isn't very short at all...

[Dave S.]

Paddy...in general, I think many of your criticisms are right on...in some ways, though, I think you go too far. For example, Pedro has been good, but not great, especially considering that he's been very fragile for the Mets, has enjoyed the confines of a great pitcher's park, and has played against the vastly weaker NL. Bellhorn had pixie dust sprinkled on him in 2004, and promptly began shitting the bed thereafter. Seriously, he was cooked; and you can't kill Graffanino for one lousy play.

The other pitching signings have certainly been questionable; I was surprised when they made the Beckett move, but definitely didn't expect him to be as bad as he's been. However, his HR rate is probably a bit of a fluke this year, and he's likely to come back some...my guess is somewhere in the low-to-mid 4.00 ERA area, in line for a number 3 AL starter. I'd wager he and Lowe, over the next three years, will be of pretty comparable pitching value, after league adjustment.

You also have to give the Sox FO credit for some outstanding drafting, minor league dealing, and player development.

Otherwise, rant on.

[Son of Hamulack]

What makes the difference between a 90 win team and a post-season shoe-in? I’ve come to the opinion that luck has a lot to do with it… and by luck, I don’t mean lucky hops, lucky hits, lucky calls… I mean you need to have career years from your also-rans, pitchers and stars who stay healthy, and maybe a rookie who comes out of nowhere to live up to and perhaps even surpass potential. That’s the 2004 formula – career years from Bellhorn and Millar, 175+ innings pitched by Schilling, Pedro, D. Lowe, Wakefield AND Arroyo (think about how unlikely that is), and only two significant injuries – Nixon and Mueller (unless you count Nomar’s pride). The only think missing from the Cinderella story was a rookie phenom, though Youkilis put up some great numbers.

I think Paddy is looking through crack-colored glasses if he thinks Theo should have stuck with Mueller and Bellhorn. In retrospect, Renteria was some kind of infatuation crossed with the idea that a great team needs a three tool star shortstop. But Renteria having his career cellar year is no more Theo’s fault than Lowell having a career year is to his credit. Dealing him off at a loss didn’t make any more sense to me than letting Cabrera walk in the first place. A decent card in the hand is a better deal than giving away cash to see what the cards in the hole turn up.

I can understand intellectually why the club didn’t spend the money on Pedro – after he refused shoulder surgery, all bets on his longevity were off. But I think that’s a bet you’ve got to take, because there’s no scarcer commodity than a proven pitcher. I think Paddy’s right in faulting the FO there. There were egos involved, but you’ve got to let Pedro’s ego win that battle.. Now we’re in a situation where we’ll give away the farm to get ANY pitcher. Damon vs. Crisp… there’s a lot of guys that can hit for average… you let Damon walk. Counting Crisp and Beckett as washed up… that’s the crack talking again.

[paddy24]

Last post for a while. Career innings for Beckett:
2001 - 24.0
2002 - 107.2
2003 - 142.0
2004 - 156.2
2005 - 178.2
2006 - 152.1.
Assuming he doesn't opt out for the rest of the year, five starts from now will be the time for any of you out there to take part in Paddy's early retirememt program of placing massive amounts of cash against Beckett or on the over when he starts. You are going to see a pitcher get rocked like never before. My hunch is that he will simply shut it down for the remainder of the season, while Ryan Howard leads the Phillies to the wild card.

[Ghengis Ortiz]

Yes, a few good points by paddy - letting Cabrera go is at the top of the list - but anyone that thinks Bellhorn could repeat 2004 is tooting on the peace pipe a little too long. Mueller was clutch - but his knees are shot and not improving, sorry.

Let's hope for Fatso and Wake to pull these guys together.

Rumor has it that Jon Benet-killer freak was giving Slappy fielding lessons in Bangkok a few years ago...now it's all starting to make sense...

There's a pretty interesting article about Steiny-Heiney in NYT a few days ago. Seems he's closer to the final at-bat. As much of a world-class jerk as he's been, if he goes it'll be for the Sox like the US after the Soviet Union got liquidated...no more Master of Evil...gotta convince the Stinkees to embalm him and stand him up in the monuments.