Pass the smelling salts

Mike:
So Papi says his woulda been a homer ball off the Metrodome speaker was like "an angel out there catching the ball."

 

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Susan/Circle:
Yeah, well, in the spirt of homegirl Sarah Silverman I say, every time an angel interferes with an Ortiz homer, the angel gets AIDS. Full blown AIDs.

 

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Mike:
I hate the fuck out of the June swoon.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Why's it always got to be June anyway when the Red Sox fall to shit? I mean June is like the perfect month.

 

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Mike:
The weather finally settles in good, kids get out of school for the summer, up and down the coast the fried clam and ice cream shacks are unshuttered …

 

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Susan/Circle:
The humpback in his small, washed cottage, under the spokes of the clematis … The chimneys of the city breathe, the window sweats …

 

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Mike:
And there's the Red Sox taking a collective piss all ovah it year aftah year aftah year.

 

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Author's Notes
The "Humback in his small …" line is from the Sylva Plath poem "Mystic."

Comments

[louclinton]

Heh. Travelling out of NE, so I thought I would be relieved of seeing last night's game.

Hell no, ESPN and Joe (I played Winged Foot once) Morgan are on, and now I'm hooked on the latest installment of "I've Fallen and I can't get Up!", featuring our herohzzzzzs. That lefty out of the pen Lopez looked nasty, but I'm guessing he'll catch the BullPen diarreha (sp?), aka, "I've got the runs, why don't you take them?" A couple of days sitting next to Tavares and Lopez will be shitting out extra base hits like he was prepping for a colonoscopy.

Of course, now it's the ATL, where RSN goes to die, so this could only get worse if Manny decides to go motocross without his helmet.

suffering in not-so-silence

lc

[james]

10 More hours untill I get to watch young Lester start blowing away the braves... Lets Go Red Sox.
Lets Go Red Sox.
Lets Go Red Sox.

[Mike]

Not to nitpick but shouldn't it be "yeah aftah yeah aftah yeah..."? Gotta keep it real, yo.

[yazgoesbacklookingupitsgone]

Enough with the stupid interleague play. It is an experiment that has failed.
And crying out loud, why oh why do we have to play Atlanta every year? Historical rivalry, my ass.
The Braves checked out of Boston for Milwaulkee, what, 50 years ago? We're supposed to care? And even when they were in Boston, it's not like the two clubs had anything to do with each other.

I wouldn't wish AIDS on anyone, but those moronic Braves fans who keep doing that tomahawk chop come close. Maybe they could all catch genital herpes or maybe even Coco Crisp's Cidney Condition. That would give them something to moan and groan about.

[Bob]

As bad as Tropicana Field is in St. Pete - and is REAL bad - at least they have fair ground rules. And what's up with the idea that if someone had caught Papi's moonshot after it hit the speaker, it'd be an out? That's just crazy.

[h.b.]

yeah aftah yeah aftah yeah..."

Problem is that I use "yeah" to represent "yah" as in the phonetic shortening of "yes" so worried it'd be too confusing.

Also right on about the bullshit "rivalry" with the Braves. Fuck Hotlanta.

[vasoxfan]

June Swoon
July Goodbye
August Adios
September Sayornara
October Bend-Ovah
Anymore?

[Dave S.]

One of my favorite moments as a Yankee fan was during the 1999 WS, when the Yanks were on the verge of sweeping the Braves. Various fans brought the obligatory brooms to the stadium, and were waving them in a mock tomahawk chop, lustily singing "whoaaa...oh..ohohohhhh....whoa...oh..ohohohhhhhh..." It was beautiful.

I have to say, I agree that interleague play is crap. I also dislike the unbalanced schedule. Between the two, MLB has created team schedules that seriously damage intraleague parity. It wouldn't be such an issue if it wasn't for the Wild Card.

[Cooper]

Seriously, fuck the tomahawk chop, and fuck Deion Sanders for bringing it from FSU to the Braves. Hearing it one season per year is bad enough.

In any event, nine more hours 'til the June swoon takes a hiatus.

[james]

"yeah aftah yeah aftah yeah..."

Problem is that I use "yeah" to represent "yah" as in the phonetic shortening of "yes" so worried it'd be too confusing.

Also right on about the bullshit "rivalry" with the Braves. Fuck Hotlanta."

Umm yes I agree with your inter league sentiments and all that shit, but being from Maine and having to live in fucking hotlanta with the retarded fans etc... I LOVE that I get to see my boys once every two years without having to sell a kidney to afford airfare to and from boston, hotel and then a ticket in the bleachers for $700. I love fenway but until I move back this is the best I get.

[David Pinto]

One of my favorite chop moments is when Jane Fonda and Jimmy Carter were doing the chop together. Nice to see PC go out the window when your baseball team is involved.

[nolasox]

My adopted hometown team faces Clemens tonight. Unfortunately its an away game. http://www.zephyrsbaseball.com/ And our mascot gets my vote for the most bizarre in minor league baseball, but I am sure there are other contenders.

[Rob in CT]

Hey, nola. I might have a contender for you...

http://www.manchestersilkworms.org/

Anybody else care to pile on?

[Follower of Tito]

A big, furry rodent? A silk worm? While it is in another state, and over an hour from western Mass, I have always thought this mascot a bit creepy: http://www.bridgeportbluefish.com/

Of course, bizarre/creepy is one thing...the whole un-PC is another. Submitted for your examination, my Alma Mater: http://goholycross.cstv.com/

[h.b.]

Wonder how long before Holy Cross is pressured to change their name?

[Rob in CT]

Go Crusaders! (uh, Go Silkworms!)

I'm curious about one thing, though:

Isn't Lent the season for wearing purple? Did the ArchBishop give special dispensation or something?

Man that is one bright-ass jacket Coach Najarian has on there.

[Son of Hamulack]

This year at least the Sox are playing the Bravos as part of an East vs. East matchup... which makes a little more sense. Glad to have more games in our time zone than have an extra west coast swing... though a Sox Dodgers matchup would have been great.

I'd like to see DiNardo get some good run support and start on a run toward earning that 4th or 5th starter role.

[NolaSox]

Tito, the teeth on that fish are disconcerting. And I thought our orange toothed nutria, his wife, and six kids was odd. BTW, for you Dave Atell fans, when he did "Insomniac" here, the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's deputies took him on a nighttime Nutria hunt along the canals. Sheriff Harry Lee has been waging war against them for years.

I also came across the Lansing Lugnuts with Big Lug and Ratchet http://www.lansinglugnuts.com/fan_action/055_14to5_17homestand/BigLugAndRatchetHavingFun.htm and the Montgomery Biscuits with Big Mo http://www.biscuitsbaseball.com/bigmo.html

[dirtdog in ny]

To think someone might actually have been paid to dream up these mascots...I used to think my daughter's school mascot - a jaguar - was ridiculous since, well, its been a long time since I've seen a jaguar around here in NY, but a lugnut? a biscuit eater? Wow.

[Natalie]

Okay, this is SO playing on Yawkey Way right now (picture it in Theo's voice):

"Spending all my nights,
All my money going out on the town
Doing anything just to get you off of my mind
But when the morning comes,
I'm right back where I started again
Trying to forget you is just a waste of time

[Bronson] come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
[Bronson] come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you"