It only takes a minute

Bill:
Christ, seems like every couple of weeks I need to reminded what a tough friggin game this is.

 

---

Doug:
I swear it's easier to get up shit, showah, shave, and go about your business the day after a 13-0 blowout loss than it is after one of these mofo 12 inning haht breakahs.

 

---

Bill:
And, yeah, yeah, I know the fan managing the team from his or her living room couch thing can get old, but is there a single Sox fan from Bangor to Bakersfield who felt comfortable when Batshit Tavarez came into the game?

 

---

Doug:
I tell you what, if there's evah a celebrity Survivor and Tito is in your tribe, bitches need to make an alliance with him on day fucking one because he'll stick with your ass no mattah what a total fuckup losah you really are.

 

---

Bill:
Yeah you could be all losing the fishing hook and letting the fiah go out and getting lost looking for watah and Tito would be all, "Fuck, yeah, man, me and you are going to the final two!"

 

---

Doug:
I can't take an entiah summah of this. I just can't.

 

---

Bill:
Remembah back in the Spring when Tavarez went all nutjob on Joey Gathright and then we latah find out that Gathright is some sort of mofo martial arts black belt?

 

---

Doug:
How can I forget?

 

---

Bill:
Well, why couldn't Gathright have gone all Uma in Kill Bill and given him some sort of ancient Chinese secret cripple-your-ass-for-life blink and you'll miss it blow to or about the head?

 

---

Doug:
God damn those martial arts fucks and their so-called "emotional control."

 

---

Comments

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

Oh man, Tito on Survivor! Uma Thurman pitching for the Devil Rays! In their new yellow with black stripe uniforms! Excellent stuff! Thanks, hb!

Oh and I meant to mention my admiration for yesterday's "Metrogloam."

I feel fortunate that I sent myself to bed about 9.

[louclinton]

Tavarez shitz the bed.Tavarez shitz the bed.Tavarez shitz the bed.Tavarez shitz the bed.Tavarez shitz the bed.Tavarez shitz the bed.Tavarez shitz the bed.Tavarez shitz the bed.Tavarez shitz the bed.Tavarez shitz the bed.

yikes

[Natalie]

I'm with you, Ryan--- thank GOD I gave up on that game at 9 to watch the Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel. Talk about Survivor...those guys are crazy! I highly recommend the show if y'all haven't seen it (its about the world's most dangerous job, fishing for Alaskan king crab on the Bering sea).

[Bob]

Damn. At Pete's Pub last night, there were actually over-under bets being made for a two-hour game. Naturally, it had to go 12, we had to lose, and I had to have the nastiest frigging hangover since we won the World Series. Believe me, a happy hangover is much more tolerable than the Batshit Bitch twitching in my head right now.

[Dave S.]

Tavarez is to Tito what Sturtze was to Torre.

Only diff is Sturtze's arm fell off, thank God. I'd offer my sympathy, except, well...

[Kluv]

Hmmph. And here, I was just thinking Tavarez was going to walk in the tying run.

[Son of Hamulack]

Nodded off after the 8th only to wake up for A-Gon's FC in the 12th. Promptly turned off the radio and turned in. A much better move than Tito made.

I bet Foulke's looking at the paper this morning thinking, damn it, that was supposed to be my loss.

But seriously, who else was in the bullpen? You can't run Timlin out there for 2 after coming off the DL. You've got Riske, Seanez, Van Buren & Delcarmen. With Clement pitching tomorrow, you're going to plan to save Delcarmen and Seanez for at least 4 on Weds.

That leaves Riske, Van Buren and Tavarez. Riske hasn't given up a run in June, but has been known to give up the long ball. Van Buren has been looking great, but lost his command and blew up in his most recent big league appearance. So you go with your experienced guy. Who just happens to be batshit.

Personally, I had the same bad feeling when the signed Tavarez as I did when they signed Renteria. Picking up the guys who gave up the first loss of the World Series and the last out of the World Series is asking for trouble. Sign the guys that beat you... that's eating the heart of your enemy.

[Black Coffee In Bed]

Nice analogy, Dave S. To wit: Batshit is to Tito as Chris Reitsma is to Bobby Cox. Now if only we could make Batshit's fingers go numb...

[buckner was framed]

The move that had me screaming at my TV happened earlier, when Tito pinch ran for Loretta, then didn't have Harris steal second. What was the point? Granted, Papi almost won it with a HR, but I couldn't help but think he wouldn't have had to try for the long one if we had a man on second- a single would have worked just fine. Or, conversely, if you're applying the Earl Weaver long ball philosophy, then you don't need to pull your starting 2B out of a game that may go into extras.

[Dave S.]

Most surprising is that Francona didn't pull Tavarez directly after he hit Cuddyer. Isn't that usually prime indicator that a meltdown is on its way for him? And the fact that he was still pitching with the bases loaded and one out...just strange. I don't envy any of you your hangovers this morning.

[JimmyZ]

Son of Ham... you got it right. Foulke was supposed to blow this game in the 12th. Talk about Tito going back to the well time and time again, hoping for some '04 magic. I was thrilled to see him back in the DL. Baseball hating punk has no heart left for the team and should be traded before he throws another game.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

At this point it's essentially a foregone conclusion that when Tavarez or Seanez enter the game, Tito has conceded it. Oh every now and again they surprise us and don't fuck up, but generally when one of those guys is headed to the mound the game's over.

That was brutal too, because Schilling pitched a hell of a game (Santana more so) and gave the Sox what, 8 innings? He was basically saying "fine, I'm going to give the bullpen a rest if we can just get some runs". So much for that.

Nice to see Timlin back out there though.

Sure enough my buddy from Red Sox Nation West calls me from Petco to ask why they haven't updated the score on the game, and sure enough right when he asks me Tavarez gives it up..."well, it's updated now".

[Griffin]

//At this point it's essentially a foregone conclusion that when Tavarez or Seanez enter the game, Tito has conceded it.//

Oh bollocks. I'm pretty tired of the attitude that the manager is trying to lose. Please.

You use the tools you have. Tavarez is a veteran, hired by the Red Sox for just these situations. He failed. It's his fault, not the manager's. If a placekicker misses a field goal, is it his coach's fault?

Tavarez is pitching himself out of a job. The Red Sox do have options, and it's fairly apparent that said options - Van Buren, Delcarmen, Hansen - are going to have to step up and present.

[Griffin]

//The move that had me screaming at my TV happened earlier, when Tito pinch ran for Loretta, then didn't have Harris steal second. What was the point?//

Guess your screaming distracted you from the fact that Harris went to second on a wild pitch.

[lisa gray]

us astros fans sure do miss tavarez

hehhehheh

although he IS pitching worse for yall then he did for the cards. or even the cubbies. maybe it's juice withdrawal - hehhehheh

he IS a nutjob and he gonna get his bony ass kicked all to hell one of these days.

and hart -
dude

looking at all those doughy nekkid white boys was just
was just
just

puke city.
i guess it was a look guys put your petroleum clothes back ON! baggy ones please. and speakin of bags heres another for your heads.

- if you gonna have nekkid white boys, lets have brandon backe. chad tracy. and brad ausmus.

thank you

and speaking of white guys and nutjobs, can one of yall males please try to explain WHY a guy would put a needle in his sack so he could get it all swole with saline? i asked husband and he just turned green so that wasn't no help...

[NYSoxfan]

Man, where the hell did the horny Texan come from? Just what this gaggle needs... take back Freddy Krueger, please. He must be jettisoned, tossed on the scrapheap. Sox brass must pay him whatever it takes to just pack up and go. Still remember the clang of Bellhorn's Game 1 homah off the Pesky Pole and the look on his scary lookin', battlescarred face. At least when Garces got shelled, he was a loveable sort.

[buckner was framed]

Griffy-
Thanks for the sarcasm, but the wild pitch occurred while Manny was up, not Papi. My original thought stands- It should have been man in scoring position, 0 outs, 3-4-5 up. If you're going to make a move (that makes sense,btw) then make it- don't stop halfway