Beckett, Brides, and the Backstroke Roulette

Susan/Circle:
When Beckett is on, there is no pitchah I'd rathah watch right now.

 

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Mike:
It's so sweet to have that "can't wait for every 5th game" feeling back and counting ahead on the schedule to see whom Beckett will face.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Yeah, we got so spoiled all those years with Pedro and then 04 with Pedro and Schilling. Last year really brought it home how it sucks not to have an ace every 5th game.

 

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Mike:
So the most eligible bachelor in Boston is no more.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Yeah, well, he isn't married yet, is he? You know the comely bride-to-be Miss Whitney is not a baseball fan, right?

 

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Mike:
Yeah, so I've heard.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Well, whatevah, I wish the lovely couple the best of luck and all. Let's just hope Theo's advanced scouting on selecting a mate for breeding falls into the Orlando Cabrera and Dave Roberts category and not the Byung-Hyun Kim and Edgah Renteria category.

 

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Mike:
All I know is when it comes to wives, nobody but nobody can top the international soccer dudes*.

[*NSFW territory]

 

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Susan/Circle:
What can you say, some chicks dig the checkered ball.

 

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Mike:
I just don't get it. Soccer?

 

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Susan/Circle:
Hey, I gotta confess, if Brian McBride wanted to give me a little headah, I couldn't say no.

 

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Mike:
I dunno. I just don't trust a sport in which you can't use your hands. Goes against nature or something.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Yeah, because, you know, guys do such incredible things with their hands when given half a chance.

 

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Mike:
"Hey, ah, Mom, Dad, I know what you've been saying about me needing to find a job and move into my own place and all, so if you're looking for me I'll be down at the public library, er, doing some career research… back in two shakes."

 

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Susan/Circle:
Yeah, then a couple days latah dude's all, "Hey, Ma, Dad, Guess what? I've got a job prospect lined up! Yep. Only thing is they require proficiency in one-handed typing, so I need to go to the library and practice. I may have to practice a lot, too. Like a couple times a day."

 

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Author's Notes:
Man, those were some tough transitions to make today. Glad that's over. Meanwhile, both the library masturbator and the footballer's chicks links come via DeadSpin.

Comments

[louclinton]

Baseball and onanism, a match made in, um, heaven.

Beckett looked pretty sweet last night, but the Rayz aren't the Yanx, are they?

lc

[harwich rich]

Go Buckeyes- or is that One eyes ?

[buckner was framed]

hb-
is there a link missing in panel 8? NSFW territory and all? not that I can check it out anyway from work, but it would give me something to look forward to tonight when I get home.....

[h.b.]

Oh, thanks for pointing out the missing link. It's there now.

[IkeG]

The first time I went to the library and looked up pictures of Lawrence Funderburke I was interested, interested, excited, VERY excited, ... then I lost interest.

I'm getting a little tired of the Sox leaving 85 guys on base per game. Hopefully they can start driving more of those guys in.

Beckett? Awesome.

[GaryGeiger]

I too can't get excited about soccer. I miss seeing kids playing sandlot baseball in the summer, having spent a good portion of my misspent childhood summers doing just that. The democratic (or anarchistic depending on point of view) determination of ground rules....the tree in CF is in play, garbage dumpster is the foul line, etc. made it all the better.
I'm also joining the ranks of the 'formerly unmarried' this weekend. I proposed last year at Fenway via the Jumbotron (hard to say no in fron of 35K+) It won't be easy w/o my soxaholix fix for a week, and not seeing the games on NESN will be hard as well. Hopefully, my bride can keep me occupied. However, I'll be representin' for Boston w/my away uni top, worn proudly in a soccer/UK environment (Bermuda)
Super job by Beckett et al last night.
Go Sawx!

[IkeG]

Don't know you personally, GG, but best of luck and I'm sure she's a lucky gal.

Mussina vs the Royals in the Bronx? Does anything scream "lock" more than this? If the Royals win then I'm going to have to go to the public library and "watch" the highlights on the internet.

[Griffin]

I love baseball. I also love soccer. Thankfully the guy I'm married to, who sports a Manchester United tattoo on his calf, puts up with my baseball obsession.

Bring on the World Cup! :-)

[Dave S.]

Congrats, GG, and good luck. Love the Jumbotron proposal. Did you get support from the crowd, or did they try to steer her clear of you?

[Dave S.]

Hey Griffin...isn't marrying a Manchester United guy kind of the futball universe equivalent of marrying a Yankee fan?

[buckner was framed]

GG- also best of luck from me. I know I am not alone in this regard, but one of the reasons I am once again unmarried is that my ex couldn't understand my love of all things Sox and actually forbade me to buy tickets last year, even after I told her that my happiest moments in '04 were sharing the Fenway experience with her, her son, her daughter, daughter's boyfriend, etc...
Ah, well- f*ck her. I'm going to 15 games this year, and all she got was the house ;-)

[Billy Mahty]

Re: Yankees lock - and the Royals are sending up this guy against Moose. His 0-5 record and the 4.71 ERA aren't too promising, and his picture screams, "Please don't hurt me!"

Soccer is fun to play. I've never been into watching it. My quick perusal points to Anine Bing as my favorite of the soccer babes.

Congrats Gary!

[h.b.]

I think I've mentioned this before, but I'm a fairly intense World Cup fan.

In 2002 I actually watched the 3am games live.

I've never gotten into league soccer, though.

[Natalie]

Ah, buckner, that's tragic. Don't worry, there are plenty of women out there who think the idea of a perfect date is watching the Sox, getting some action, then watching SportsCenter highlights. :)

Soccer is riveting. It's not something that registers in my cranium most of the time, but if I happen to pass by a World Cup game and linger, I get mesmerized by the athleticism. I find it like lacrosse in that regard....

[Dave S.]

World Cup Soccer has that incredible urgency that makes it really engaging. The US really is isolated from the rest of the world in its peculiar sports fandom. MLB, the NFL and the NBA are all sort of like little cults when compared to the global religion of Soccer (or Football, really). I won't seek it out, but if it's on, I'll dig it, especially if I'm watching with a real fan.

[Kaz]

Re: Soccer, let's just say that I wear my Real Madrid pin on my jacket and it doesn't come off. You tend to root for the team that your Spanish love interest roots for (ah, that was a summer and then some).

I'm a big World Cup fan and also found myself up at 3 AM watching many of the games. I catch a little of La Liga, Copa del Rey, UEFA Cup, and CL action when I can, but it's hit-or-miss as to when I get a chance to see a game. I also keep up on the Rev in MLS.

I also wonder if we've seen the tipping point when a man is willing to whack off in a library (presumably because he doesn't have a computer at home) instead of purchasing a Playboy and hiding it under his bed at home. What ever happened to good ol' printed materials?

[buckner was framed]

Natalie-
thanks for the positive thoughts... and did I mention I was free this weekend O:-)?

[GaryGeiger]

I'm sorry if I sounded dismissive of soccer, that wasn't my inten. I guess it's because i never played and am too old to pick it up now.
Thanks for your good wishes---Long story short: For my June '05 B'day, my then girlfriend bought tix to Sox Angels (OCab's return) and told me a happy b'day wish to me would show up on the jumbotron. Unbeknownst to her, I arranged for the proposal (middle of the 4th), to the cheers of those around us. She watches every game with me, and understands when I lose my shit (usually when Matt pitches..lol) and doesn;t just tolerate it...she genuinely enjoys it....sorry to bore you with that.
Do u think the Royals can at least pull one against the Yanks? Even a broken clock is right twice a day.......

[Griffin]

//Hey Griffin...isn't marrying a Manchester United guy kind of the futball universe equivalent of marrying a Yankee fan?//

Not at all. Man U. sort of slammed into the consciousness of American soccer fans when it went on a championship tear for a stretch a couple of years ago (gaining a ton of bandwagon fans), but historically they're certainly not the equivalent of the Yankees.

My husband is from Ireland (which traditionally has always had a lot of players on Man U. - his fave player was Roy Keane) and has been a fan since he was a boy in the 1960s, rooting them on with his dad. It was their greatest bond.

[pawsoxpop]

Congrats Gary! Sounds like you found yourself a great mate there. Have fun in Bermuda.

Maybe Matt Clement could take some cockiness lessons from Beckett. He seems like he goes through long stretches of self-doubt, but when he does throw strikes he is a pretty good pitcher. Or maybe he could just ask Boomer for some hootch before the first inning ....

I'll be pulling for Luis Figo to lead Portugal to the promised land this year.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend everybody...

[Bob]

Congrats G.G.! I'm a committed bachelor myself, but I saw the benefits of marriage when my best friend tied the knot a couple of years ago. He's never been happier. And they just announced they're having a baby. Plus, she still allows him his Friday night with the boys, and freedom to hang with me at Fenway for all my Sox games. Sounds like you two will be doing that together. Sweet.

RE: tonight. Let's hope we put a red dot on that Kasmir sweater.

[COD]

Congrats GG - and they probably have an Internet cafe in Bermuda that you can drop in on while the new Mrs. is shopping :)

I went to a quarter final soccer game at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, Brazil vs Nigeria. Nigeria scored 3 goals in the 2nd half to pull off a huge upset. I gained a whole new respect for the game seeing it live with 85,000 passionate fans. However, it just doesn't work well on TV.

[Bob]

COD; soccer only works well on TV when you're in a bar/cafe/etc. with lots of rabid fans. For instance, try watching a game featuring the Italian team in the North End. It really does get your blood pumping (although not as much as that guy had his going in the library).

[h.b.]

This'll be my first World Cup with the widescreen HDTV. Really looking forward to it.

Well, I'm assuming it'll be broadcast in HD. If not, I won't be watching.

[chad laurion]

soccer on tv; beautiful, no commercials.

[Kaz]

Don't worry, h.b.

In the U.S., watch for ABC Sports & ESPN to cover the FIFA World Cup with high definition telecasts for the first time of all 64 FIFA World Cup matches...

[Designated Sitter]

"...but historically they're certainly not the equivalent of the Yankees."

Depends how far back your history goes. They (rightfully) garnered an awful lot of sympathy in the UK when half their team was killed in a plane crash in 1958, and they've always had a large following in Scotland and Ireland, but since the advent of the Premiership and Murdoch's millions they've become the choice of bandwagon jumpers galore (the 'prawn sandwich brigade', as Roy Keane calls them). In that respect, they have a Yankee-esque tinge to them (not to mention a merchandising tie-in with Steinspender).

[pawsoxpop]

Chad, the reason you think soccer on TV is beautify -- no commercials -- is the reason most U.S. TV is loathe to run it. TV commercials have made baseball games longer than "Lord of the Rings" -- you really notice the needless length of between-inning delays if you go to a MLB and minor league game a week or so apart. The nontelevised minor league games fly right by.

Until soccer can figure out how to get more commercials in there, U.S. TV will keep it at arms length, IMO, no matter how many Americans start to love soccer. Putting a little Budweiser frame around the action will not do it either, I'm afraid.

[COD]

My comment was based on that I at least, just don't see the game as well on TV. The field of view from a TV camera just does not give the viewer the sense of what is happening. The difference between a shot on goal and a failed offensive push is usually just a matter of inches on a pass - you don't see that on TV though. I'm sure hanging with a bar full of drunk mexicans during a Mexico game is an absolute blast (in fact, I've done it), but I just don't think the game televises well, and that is a big reason why it doesn't seem to catch on in the US above the youth level.

Youth soccer is out of control - but it doesn't seem to be translating into commercial success for the game.

[Bob]

A fairly hilarious message from our old buddy Bronson:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I-2YW0IzUU&eurl=

[Bob]

A fairly hislarious message from our old friend Bronson:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I-2YW0IzUU&eurl=

[da kine]

Bob, you have made my day. That shit is yularious. I miss me some Bronson Arroyo, but he really needed to go someplace else to explore his potential. I'm pretty sure he spent more time at Warren Towers than at Fenway Pahk.

[harwich rich]

Just got home from an extreeeeemly long day at work. Haven't seen any posts since 10 AM. So I want to wish GG and his lady a very long happy union. I'm pretty sure the rest of the Soxaholix feel the same. Enjoy Bermuda and go sox.

[IkeG]

Holy crap, they hit Kazmir. Hang on there, Rudy ... now 7-4 in the 8th.

What's this? Royals 7-5 in the bottom of the 9th? Is the pope no longer Catholic?

[scott12xu]

Re: Bronson Arroyo commerical... did I just hear him say "Shit, would you believe a double?"? Was that link an out-take?

KC beats the Yanks (barely) - what a great way to start the weekend.

[survived75]

Byun Hung Kim - jeebus wept, just seeing his name in Soxaholix sent me into a horrific flashback. If anyone needs proof that the karmic wheel doth indeed spin, none more compelling than to note the pitcher who served up #715 to Mr. Bonds*