We love the internets

Mike:
Before we get out our pitchforks and hanging ropes to mob swarm Yawkey Way demanding Bard's head, let's at least considah the following: Mirabelli's first 6 games catching Wakefield resulted in 10 past balls, Bard's first 5 games catching Wakefield - 10 past balls. Pretty similah, eh?

 

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Doug:
Yeah, it's time to just take a wait and see approach on Bard until he gets some more experience under his belt.

 

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Mike:
Besides, it's probably only a matter of time before the Japanese come out with a whacky video on catching the knuckleball. I mean it's the logical sequential progression aftah "How to fold T-Shirt in split seconds" and "How to put on a Band Aid so it stay on all day."

 

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Doug:
Yeah, and while they're at it a "How to hit ball good in clutch" would be especially helpful to the Red Sox at the moment, as poor clutch hitting is the biggest problem with the offense especially in games Wakefield has stahted.

 

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Mike:
But you know the clutch hitting, in particular Big Papi's, is going to come around.

 

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Doug:
Absolutely. It doesn't make much sense, at this junction, to focus on any one part of the individual areas of variance as a cause for concern (or special optimism).

 

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Mike:
Yep, small sample size and all that which is why I'm not jumping to any conclusions over the Fruit Bat's recent troubles.

 

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Doug:
Really. At this point in the season you're better off trolling the web for, er, creative Japanese TV commercials* than you are making baseball predictions.

 

[*Caveat: The video linked above may not be safe for work. Content is safe, the guise/joke, not so much.]

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Mike:
Dude, I am so turning Japanese. I really think so.

 

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Author's Notes:
The link to the band-aid video comes courtesy of the devilish duo over at The Red Seat.

Comments

[IkeG]

Holy crap, those sound effects in those commercials aren't real, are they? My band aids never make that "fweep" sound when they fall off in the tub!

Ah sweet schadenfreude ... the fact that they eked out only one run for Wakefield was most certainly tempered by the failure of Rivera. It doesn't happen too often so we have to enjoy it when it does!

[james]

Im surprised Shaughnessy hasn't drawn a correlation between losses and games broadcast on espn yet...

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

I agree with the sentiment of the column today...If we could score more than one run in Wake's starts, then the pb's won't be as glaring. Perhaps we're due for an offensive explosion Monday night?

[Jason O.]

IkeG, to paraphase Mel Gibson's buddy in Mad Max:

"See you on May 1, skag!!"

Asian women don't do it for me in general, but that was the greatest commercial ever produced in the history of television.

[IkeG]

Woo hoo! Four days away and here comes the smack-talk!

Thanks for reminding me about Mad Max ... I have to rent that one again.

[Mike H]

Maybe Bard needs a trip to Mexico. I hear the Monarchs are breeding down there right now, maybe he can practice on them then come back to catch the Knuckler.

Seriously, Wake is pitching great, the past balls are killing us. There has to be someway to get the ball in the mit.

M

[h.b.]

The 3 runs the Tribe put up in the first had nothing to do with passed balls.

And those 3 runs alone would have one the game.

The problem is the offense, or lack thereof.

But it'll come around. As will Bard.

[Bob]

//The 3 runs the Tribe put up in the first had nothing to do with passed balls.//

Somebody on EEI made a (rare) good point this morning: if Wake felt apprehensive about throwing a knuckler with a man on third and Bard behind the plate, and threw that fat fastball because of it, those three runs most definitely DID have something to do with passed balls. Of course, we'd have to be mind readers to ever know if that's the case, because Wake sure isn't gonna throw Bard under the bus.

[Emily]

how you were able to spin that band-aid video we found into a red sox comparison is pure genius. gotta say...

[Devine]

Bob...I'd see that point as valid if there had been trouble between them to that point, but not a passed ball in sight during the first inning (says Gameday).

[Scott]

Still irked that we traded Mirrabeli. The guy could hit a little and catch the knukleball. Wake didn't win 1 game last season when DM was on the DL. Why they are attempting this Bard experiment is beyond my comprehension.

Thanks to the Japenese I can properly apply a band-aid now!

[Griffin]

If Wakefield had the cojones to keep throwing knuckleballs in extra innings of Game 5 of the 2004 ALCS, with Varitek chasing it all over the place, he's not going to be afraid to throw it in April in Cleveland.

Wake on Bard: "I'm hoping that everybody can get off of him for a while."

Your wish is my command, good sir.

[Kaz]

Thanks to the Japenese I can properly apply a band-aid now!

Thanks to Americans, you don't have to fumble with a straight blade or pair of scissors while you're bleeding all over the place. Band-Aid has had custom molded split bandages for knuckles and fingertips for years now.

And really, I thought the correlation to the Red Sox would be about knuckles and bleeding losses.

[da kine]

I don't blame Bard for the loss by any means, but it is still painful watching him scramble all over the job trying to grab a pitch. Luckily for me, I didn't have to watch Mirabile Visu go through the growing pains of transforming himself into the greatest knucklegrabber in the history of Christendom. 'Knucklegrabber' sounds dirty.

[Jason O.]

Ike, the good part about renting Mad Max now is that they restored the original vocal track with all the actors' actual voices and Aussie accents.

The flick is very satisfying, but the screaming carbureted V-8s are worth the rental price.

[Matt Mackey]

Just an FYI--the ramen commercial is Korean, not Japanese. The characters displayed at the end of the commercial are Korean ones, they're a bit different from Japanese writing.

But hey, by all means, continue turning Japanese...

[Matt]

Nice wordplay, da kine. If Bard learns to catch the knuckler it will indeed be something to behold!

[SoxontheBeach]

Speaking of turning Japanese...

http://www.deadspin.com/sports/baseball/random-youtube-finding-of-the-week-169722.php

[h.b.]

Ohmigod. How perfect is it that of all the guys doing that it's A-Rod!

It's too perfect. Add this to the ball slap and it's almost too much for my funny bone to handle.

[SoxontheBeach]

Even better, H.B.? Jeter is at second base.

The comic possibilities are endless.

[Bob]

Man, that's hilarious.

I bet the bat boy REALLY loves handling that mass of oily discharge after A-Fraud's at bats.

[da kine]

Slappy McBluelips' shame is complete. Unless Lindsay Lohan somehow gets involved. Then it is more complete.

[dirtdog in ny]

Ewww, I'm gonna have nightmares tonite!!!

[james]

Im guessing no ones gonna read comment comment 36 on yesterdays's strip BUT for christsake we just got fucking blasted by the indians... Beckett got fucked the offense sucked and we looked like the fucking delaware blue hens in march. OK I feel better now. Also although I said it before we are still getting screwed 100% when broadcast on espn. Fuck Shaugnessy but goddamn lets win one on national tv.