Manny is in da house

Bill:
So is anyone still bitching about Manny's slow staht?

 

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Doug:
He's baaaaack! God, I love Manny Ramirez.

 

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Bill:
I know it must infuriate fans of other teams, but when Manny gets the sweet spot and then stands there as if saying, "Wait for it … Wait for it … Yeah, there it is, Baby. I'm your mofo homerun Manny!" it makes my whole fucking summah.

 

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Doug:
What the frig was up with Francona? He was all Doctor Mengele doing a sadistic experiment to see how many pitches Schilling could throw before his arm falls off.

 

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Bill:
Yeah, I'd have gone with Batshit Tavarez, but you know, Tito and Schill have their own little "special" relationship.

 

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Doug:
Schilling says, "We talk, we communicate. I don't sit there and force his hand with me" …

 

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Bill:
Ah, c'mon Schill, no need to explain. We all know what happens on Brokeback Mountain stays on Brokeback Mountain.

 

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Doug:
So what do think about Nipper's comments on Clemens possible return?

 

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Bill:
Jesus H. Mohammed can you imagine if Clemens chose this Saddadee, the 20 year anniversary of the 20k game, to announce he's coming back to Boston?

 

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Doug:
I tell ya, an over-the-top seemingly Hollywood movie scripted scene like that would melt the hearts of even the fiercest Clemens hatahs.

 

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Bill:
I count myself among the anti-Clemens crowd, but I tell you what, I want some friggin closure. This whole Clemens hates Boston, Boston hates Clemens has created a fissure in the friggin space-time continuum.

 

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Doug:
You know before 2004 I'd have said that chapters like that, return of the prodigal son and all, just don't get written in the Red Sox history book, but now anything seems possible.

 

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Bill:
Absolutely. "Why not us?"

 

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Comments

[Bob]

I completely understand why some Sox fans despise Clemens. However, H.B. is right when he complains about the "Boston hates Clemens" theory that some consider an absolute truth.

I happened to be at Clemens last game as a Red Sox. When he came off the mound (in the 7th or 8th if my beer-addled memory is correct), he received a thunderous standing ovation.

To those who don't want Clemens on the team, I recommend a thorough reading of the recently discovered Gospel of Judas.

[tessie]

The extra added sweetness of Manny's HR: it actually made the stupid hate-full Indians' fans root for their team instead of harassing Boston, the Sox, our players and fans.

[Kelly the Ballgal is Hot]

Well if you're gonna get picked off second base thus causing an inning ending double play - you better hit a game winning three run homer.

Just Manny being Manny...

[scott]

So how long is Francona going to stick with Harris in CF? At least Stern was hitting the ball until being demoted. We still have over 2 weeks before Coco comes back. Harris may be batting below .100 until then!

[Jason O.]

With TB firmly spanked, I switched over to the entertaining CLE/BOS tilt.

What is going on with the butchering of the name John?
Jhonny(!??!?) Peralta?
Jonny Gomes?
Although Gomes shares his name with my favorite cartoon that was in reruns when I was a kid...Jonny Quest.
Race Bannon was the man, kind of like a Jason Bourne/MacGyver clone.

[james]

“He took away but he giveth - and he giveth more,” Francona said.

Best. Manny. Quote. Ever.

[Jennay]

Great game last night, but the base running was scary. I was wondering if the base coaches were sleeping out there. I was also yelling for Schilling to be taken out, but Manny is the Man! And how about Youkillis' stolen base? Sweet......

[Chili]

I suppose I'm fine with the Texas Con Man returning, as long as the Traitorous Fat Bastard is replacing the Drunken Fat Bastard. Having both of them on the active roster might be too much self-centered ego for one clubhouse.

And were Race Bannon and Dr. Quest animation's first gay couple? Just askin'....

[Griffin]

For crissakes, Curt Schilling is a big league pitcher, not a hothouse flower. Throwing 15-20 pitches above his normal count is not going to make his arm fall off. Sheesh.

[Doug Roy]

Throwing 15-20 pitches above his normal count is not going to make his arm fall off. Sheesh.

Ah, it was a joke, guy.

Do you also think Bill and I really believe Tito and Schilling have a homosexual relationship? Sheesh.

[IkeG]

Clemens is going back to the 'Stros, I'm sure of it. May I be struck down and my mouth filled with angry hornets if I am wrong.

That baserunning crap's got to stop. This is not the '05 team that can score at will ... can't be blowing opportunities like a bunch of spastic junior highsters. However, it's good to see they can occasionally score runs in bunches and that Schilling doesn't have to always be on for them to win his starts. Now if they can only score like that for Wakefield...

[Natalie]

h.b- I love it when your characters pop into the comments section. I start thinking they are actually real, which is clearly something I will need to bring up with my therapist. Great strip, as usual!

[h.b.]

h.b- I love it when your characters pop into the comments section.

Glad to hear it. Don't know why I didn't think of doing that sooner.

[Griffin]

//Ah, it was a joke, guy.

Do you also think Bill and I really believe Tito and Schilling have a homosexual relationship? Sheesh.//

Of course not. But if you pile up the hysterical comments about Schilling's PC in the past 12 hours, you could float a battleship. As Jiminy Cricket so wisely put it, after all, enough's enough.

And I'm not a guy. :-)

[AJM]

//And I'm not a guy. :-)//

Now you've DEFINITELY got Doug's attention.

[h.b.]

But if you pile up the hysterical comments about Schilling's PC in the past 12 hours, you could float a battleship

Good point.

FWIW though the characters are meant to be archetypes of Red Sox fans, so they will more often than not voice some of the stuff you hear/read/see in the past 12 hours.

[NV in SD]

Doug post- yes! Bring the characters into the mix- I wanna have some words with that smug Marty bastard (haven't heard much from him these days...).

"So is anyone still bitching about Manny's slow staht?"

No, but I do feel the need to mention the fact that Tek needs to turn the plate production knob up to at least 5. .246? C'mon Cap!

[JimmyZ]

Shouldn't it be Brokeback Mound?

And the Jhonny thing... as stupid as this may sound: It is a Dominican thing (mostly). The 'J' in spanish is normally pronounced something like our 'H' (sorry for pointing out the obvious). In an effort to signal to the spanish speaker that this "J" in "Jhonny" should be pronounced like the english "J" they put the "h" in there right after the "j" - Comprende?

[Kaz]

Don't know why I didn't think of doing that sooner.

Because you don't want to lapse into schizophrenia and/or Multiple Personalities Disorder.

What's "Doug" telling you to do with that knife, h.b.!?

Hehe, but as for the strip, I am not an anti-Clemens guy. I just don't have the personal history having been a more later in life transplant to Boston. If he can still bring the heat, then I wouldn't mind a few of Rocket's red glares scowling down on the batters at Fenway one last time.

[Natalie]

Re: Clemens, I still bear a significant grudge. Roger will never get my heart back. But I want him with the Sox just so the Yanks can't have him.

Who knew I was secretly a toy-hoarding cranky 5 year old boy in a woman's body?

[pawsoxpop]

I have to agree with IkeG about Clemens staying in Texas. I don't think he ever really enjoyed the Boston-NY rivalry that much and doesn't want to irritate the fans in either city. I have to count myself in the anti-Clemens crowd too but I'd definitely take him as a No. 3 starter during the regular season, just to keep him off the Skankees.

HB I think the Dr. Mengele thing was a little over the top. But I guess it's kinder than comparing him with Grady Little.

[beth]

did you not get the memo? there's been a moratorium declared on any further brokeback mountain references / jokes. come on, dude. you can do better.

[Jason O.]

It the interest of questioning my own assumptions: Is it possible that HB could be a woman? (unless of course gender was mentioned prior to my regular reading of this site)

Chili: Keep your postmodern fantasies out of my favorite childhood memories, thank you very much.
Next you're going to tell me that the Silver Surfer and Galactus were gay.

Here's what Clemens will say: "I want to pitch 2 starts in Boston and 2 starts in New York, and then I'll make my final decision."

[Matt]

You know when Man-Ram starts going the opposite way its going to be good times all around...Wedge mustn't have received the memo. C'mon, Eric, walk Papi again- please?

[h.b.]

did you not get the memo? there's been a moratorium declared on any further brokeback mountain references / jokes. come on, dude. you can do better.

Ah, it's a little thing called characterization. Perhaps you've heard of it? :)

Essay question: What does it reveal about Bill's character and/or internal motivations that he'd use a joke now considered passe? Does it matter to whom he is speaking, i.e., would he use the Brokeback joke if he was talking with Mike? Discuss...

As I like to point out from time to time (and quite possibly for my amusement alone), there is a whole lot more going on here, or at least I'm trying to create a whole lot more whether I'm successful or not is unclear, than just another baseball blog.

[beth]

//Ah, it's a little thing called characterization. Perhaps you've heard of it? :)//

maybe i was talking to your character?

[Philly Patri0t]

JimmyZ -- the reason Jhonny Peralta's name is spelled like that is because they made a typo on his birth certificate, and he never felt like changing it. I was watching FSN Ohio via MLB.TV online (they gave me the Indians broadcast that day instead of NESN) and they distinctly pointed out that that was the reason it's "Jhonny" Peralta. Though what you said about the Dominican J and H may be true, I got the real story on Jhonny's name off the TV last year. :-P

[h.b.]

maybe i was talking to your character?

My bad. The "dude" bit should have tipped me off!

This flip flopping between author/character in the comments is getting me all fouled up.

[NYSoxfan]

Any Red Sox fans out there also fans of F.C. Barcelona? The parallels between Sox-Yanks and Barcelona-Real Madrid are striking. I mean Spanish fascist president for life Francisco Franco was a huge Real Madrid fan. Reading about him only gives me $teinbrenner deja vu all over again... and Barcelona just dropped Italian billionaire/ex-Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's AC Milan powerhouse out of the Champions League. Olé! And visca el Barça! = Go Sox!

[Bob]

Arroyo just threw eight innings of one-hit ball. He's now 4-0.

[Griffin]

//Arroyo just threw eight innings of one-hit ball.//

Yeah, against the storied lineup of the 7-14 Washington Nationals, minus Vidro and Guillen.

//He's now 4-0.//

Didn't he get rocked by the Cards?

//FWIW though the characters are meant to be archetypes of Red Sox fans, so they will more often than not voice some of the stuff you hear/read/see in the past 12 hours.//

Oh, for sure. I'm just a bit snarky over the Chicken Little nature of some Red Sox fans. But I suppose I should be used to it by now, right? Right? ;-)