A Jersey Yankee in Rem Dawg's Court

While a day off is good for the players, the fans often get a little snarky with extra time on their hands …

Susan/Circle:
So of all the telegenic bitches to choose from, NESN selects a Jersey girl who grew up in a family of Yankees fans to be their new field reporter? Jeez.

 

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Mike:
You don't buy her story that a true Yankees fan would never go to work for the Red Sox?

 

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Susan/Circle:
Ah, hello! This chick also said she was rooting for the Red Sox in '04 because if the Yankees won it would have meant she'd have to do "double the work." What the frig?

 

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Mike:
But that suggests she's not a fan of eithah team, right, unbiased, neutral, a pure journalist.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Dude, are you getting the morning wood for her or something? It took her 244 words to say she's not a Yankees fan and the best proof she offers is that she's lazy? I know her kind. She's a connivah all the way.

 

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Mike:
Well, they call her a "walking encyclopedia" so she might bring some cool insights to the on-field reporting.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Ohmigod. Listen to yourself. It's embarrassing. I mean, c'mon, Miss Onnibus in Heels says the person she'd most like to spend a day with is Bob Costas? Bob fucking Costas?

 

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Mike:
Hey, a lot of people really like Costas.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Yeah, well, a lot really like Kenny G. A lot of people thought Fever Pitch was a great movie. A lot of people don't know their ass from their elbow …

 

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Susan/Circle:
Look, Bob Costas has taken the lively art of calling a ball game and dragged it into the drab dens of middle america mediocrity. He's as exciting as an acorn, as spontaneous as a tug boat, as lively as a hang nail.

 

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Susan/Circle:
And someone who wants to spend a day with Bob Costas is someone without a soul.

 

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Mike:
Maybe if she just lost her Jersey accent you'd be more willing to give her a chance.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Maybe if you sold off your Rojah Clemens rookie cahd on eBay, you'd have enough cash to buy yourself a friggin clue.

 

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Comments

[da kine]

Cut me girl some slack. First, she's hot. Second...well, that's it. I'd hit it, so that's all that matters. Oh, wait...she liked "A League of Their Own", which was a great flick, even though it makes me feel feminine to admit it.

[Bob]

You think she's hot, da kine? I'll just repeat the refrain heard every time at Pete's when she comes on air: "Why the long face?"

(Of course at Pete's, that's quickly followed by, "wanna buy some Mach III blades cheap?")

[birthofasoxfan97]

She wasn't bugging me until now. Phil Simms? Good lord, I hate that guy. Bought his kid the QB spot at Texas which ultimately cost Major Applewhite's sure-to-be-brilliant career. Yep - Yankees lover and Simms lover - that all makes perfect sense.

[Jason O.]

Bob, "long face" will forerver be John Kerry's joke...don't ever forget that.

First of all, her favorite show is "Entourage???"...There are at least 10 shows on TV better than Entourage.

Entourage is currently enjoying the "HBO inflation" effect. HBO has a core of fundamentally good shows: Rome, Sopranos, Curb.

Now it seems that whatever shit they throw on the screen is hailed just because of HBO's reputation, like for example, the barely above average entourage and that giant steaming pile big love.

[vasoxfan]

Great piece on Harry Cary. Any one new coming up thats even remotely like him?

[IkeG]

Careful about the "League of Their Own" references. I made a comment at work about "no crying in ...(whatever we were discussing)" and I heard about it for a week. I was banned from making movie references and derided as a chick-flick watcher. No amount of "thank you very little"s could dig me out.

I'm with JO on the HBO inflation effect for Entourage. Some good acting, but a lot of guys sitting around talking about uninteresting stuff and acting all pimp-wannabe.

[Pond]

From New Jersey, favorite singer: Bon Jovi. Classic.

[Ryan with a Capital "R"]

Easily the most ineresting thing on her NESN bio page is that (A) Arena League Football had a minor league and (B) somebody in charge at a TV station felt the urge to do a live report from a minor league Arena football game.

She's not hot. She's TV-journalist pretty. Huge difference.

[guido6701]

So who would win in a fist fight? Hazel Mae or Tina Cervasawhatever?
My money's on Hazel.

[Natalie]

Do any sideline reporters in baseball actually add any value? Can't we just get rid of the whole thing?

Bottom line: There is already enough bullshit commentary from third rate analysts in the booth. I think we need more "sounds of the game" with mics on the dugout and also (with credit to Bill Simmons) lip readers to tell us what the players are saying to one another at first base...

Entourage is meh. I cannot get past the fact that we are supposed to buy Adrian Grenadier (sp?) as a viable box office star. The man was in a movie with Sabrina the Teenage Witch, for gods sake.

[Bob]

Hazel Mae added value to my chub.

(Hey, it's not as bad as what Keith Hernandez said.)

[gmatt]

What a great Caray anti-costas rant! Very funny and all too true.

Tina - we know you're lying.

What was the old SNL line? "You're from Jersey? What exit?"

[gmatt]

Here's a thought- with several local colleges offering Broadcast Journalism, bring in an intern and give her/him/them a shot(hey, why not both if you're going to have any sidleine reporters at all). It ain't investigative reporting, it's entertainment!

[Mike H]

Growing up outside DC, I knew a lot of Jersey girls who would come down for the summers to ride boats outside Annapolis. Connivers all of them, they stopped being hot the moment you watched 2 of them fist fighting over a cigarette in a parking lot at 2am. This comment would seem unfair, except that it happened so many times between so many girls, I feel there is more than a small sample size to go on. With all things related to journalism, consider the source before making judgements - hot turns gross the moment they show their real colors.

M

[BB]

Yankee fans have had to deal with Boston-born Suzyn Waldman for years on TV and Radio. Wanna trade?

[Jason O.]

Women fighting over cigarettes at 2AM really turns my crank.

[Skeesix]

This was a brilliant fucking strip. Every girl I know would react exactly like this(matter of fact, you've been getting in a lot of pretty good female-oriented strips lately, is there a guest-writer/friend with benefits in the background, h.b.?).

But yeah, I'll give the Jersey girl a chance. I just won't trust her.

[El Rap]

Has anyone else noticed that ever since Mick Jagger (or in Boston definitely since Steve Tyler)if you're a skinny entertainer you have to have a mouth wide enough to eat a banana sideways?

She looks like a frickin' muppet.

[tessie]

I noticed the same thing Skeesix. I loved the homage to Varitek's glorious gluteus a few days back....

[Natalie]

Totally gratuitous comment, but my brain works in mysterious ways. When I saw her for the first time watching Sunday's game and caught her name, my first thought was- wow, Cervasio: when does she interview Pap?

That aside, she seems fine. Attractive and personable- the extent of what you need from that type of reporter.

[Kaz]

Remember a few days ago, I commented on my roommate who now interns for the Red Sox. He spent last year interning for the Yankees because he's going to school down in NJ. Don't worry though he's originally from Florida and while he's made contacts at the Toilet, I don't think it's permanently warped him.

In the meantime, he tells me that the Sox treat their employees a heck of a lot better. More freebies and perks than at the House that Ruth Built but didn't Furnish Evidently.

[jaxtraw]

We would gladly trade Suzyn Waldman for Tina Cervasio

[Griffin]

Heck, if I had a few hundred people calling me a Yankees fan, I'd get pretty pissed off - and wordy - myself.

I'll cut Tina some slack, even after her lousy start (I don't think I've ever heard more moronic post-game questions). I just want her to be more intellectual and less inane. You're talking to guys like Loretta and Lowell, Tina, not Millar and Damon. You can use big words and complex sentences.

[pawsoxpop]

Been on vacation and away from computers for a week so just got done catching up. Very funny week's worth of strips HB. The line about the Clemens rookie card was hot java through the nose...

As for NESN, don't they have a broadcasting school at Emerson that has produced such luminaries as Sean McDonough? Don't they have any pretty women graduates there who actually did grow up as Sox fans? I don't get it.

[Bob]

I've seen a few new names here recently. If that applies to you, be sure to get a pic up here:

http://www.frappr.com/thesoxaholix

[Rob in CT]

Hey BB. Suzyn Waldman for Tina Cervasawhatever?

Are you kidding? Yuk! Waldman tightens my sphincter every time I hear her on the radio. Is there a more annoying voice on the airwaves anywhere in the free world?

Now Hazel v. Tina C.? Hell I'd pony up for that on Pay-Per-View in a heartbeat. My gal Hazel would stomp that Jersey Girl in -- you should pardon the expression -- a New York Minute.

[buckner was framed]

gmatt-
The obvious solution is right in front of us in the person of Kelly the ball girl! She's a sports journo major and she's already on the payroll, having done that Bruins gig (OK, so nobody watched)... plus, she's already in canvas alley 50% of the game anyway. No doubts about her allegience

[Tessie]

Nephew's got an extra ticket for tonight's game, hmmmm....should I go? See Schilling pitch? Yes! Yes I will!

[Jet]

" Don't they have any pretty women graduates there who actually did grow up as Sox fans?"

Why do they have to be "pretty"? Is Eric Frede "handsome"?

Cervasio sucks. Bring back Fred-o.

[pawsoxpop]

Why do they have to be "pretty"?

Excellent question but don't ask me. Ask the people who hire broadcast "journalists" that one.

[NYSoxfan]

She's hot in a "I only watch network television" kinda way... still have to wonder what NESN was thinking. Why not find some hot South Boston chick to do these spots? Take a walk on the wild side, NESN!!

[gmatt]

Kelly the Ballgirl, exactly! But can she juggle a microphone and a glove? Or just wire her and get the ambient sounds of the game like Natalie suggested.

[Mike H]

Um... just saw Tina Cervasio, this is the woman everyone thinks is so hot? Man, she looks like my high school guidance counsellor and that ain't saying much. In fact, she looks like my guidance counsellor 10 years after the fact, not when I was in school.

Maybe it's the HD, but is it possible NESN hired a ringer, someone the players are not going to find attractive in order to avoid controversy? Because that is not the person who is going to make the fairer Sox fans all catty.

Schilling, please get your act together. I want the 5-0 April. I needs me the 5-0 April.

M

[NYSoxfan]

anyone else having bad deja vu out there?!? ok, I wrote off Tito's leaving Beckett in the Friday game in Toronto since the kid had a low pitch count. But what is his excuse with Schilling tonight? 112 pitches in April is plenty for anyone never mind a 39-year-old hurler who needs to be strong down thte stretch. Fuqqin A. A 5-4 lead evaporates after 2 batters. Francona's gotta watch that 2003 ALCS Game 6 one of these days. 127 pitches and counting...

[NYSoxfan]

oops, typo. Game 7 it was... just as Schill walks Peralta. I'm apopletic ovah heah!!

[Mike H]

Schill ain't gonna get the win, but that was a MONSTA hit from Manny. Good timing, let the good times roll.

M

[CardsFan]

Not defending Costas as of late, but last year he had some calls into St. Louis sports radio and was hilarious, especially his Don King impersonation.