It has a little extra flavor because of the frying

Mike:
So how the fuck is it that some asshat has taken the time to create a life-sized sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, but we don't have a single life-sized sculpture of Big Papi or Manny or Schill or any of "The 25"?

 

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Bill:
What's up with that pose anyway? I didn't know you were supposed to give birth doggy style?

 

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Mike:
Yeah, well, you're not supposed to deep fry a twinkie or leave your Christmas lights up year 'round, but there's no fucking reasoning with a redneck.

 

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Bill:
So Foulke finally throws in a spring training game and looks great. Like I said, this is why Francona is the manager and I'm not.

 

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Mike:
Everything is falling into place. Choi's on board just in case Youks needs to move to third if Lowell can't cut it.

 

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Bill:
And Beckett's looking tough in more ways than one.

 

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Mike:
Yeah, what is it about guys jawing at each other while, behind them their respective teammates begin that slow but menacing group walk up the dugout steps that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy?

 

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Bill:
We are a violent people. But, hey, at least we don't try to chop your head off for swapping religions.

 

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Mike:
Yeah, that Abdul Rahman dude just wanted to bat for Jesus instead of Mohammed, it's not like he became a Yankees fan or anything.

 

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Bill:
I know, let's prioritize and shit for fuck's sake people.

 

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Comments

[mobosox]

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one to realize that Britney Spears is a redneck.

Weird dream last night right before I woke up...Jay Payton hit a the game winning home run to send the Jays to the World Series over the Red Sox. I woke up in a cold sweat. It was that believable.

Thanks to the 'holix I feel all better now.

[GaryGeiger]

Any wagers on whether Brit was chowing on a corn dog, or better yet a fish taco while spawning?

Can Josh Beckett skate? He'd by far be the toughest player on the B's. Still, If I'm in a bench clearer, I want to see Kapler out there...he's got the look...kinda like O'Reilly used to have.

Great strip today, h.b. CeleBRITy dirt, the Sox and politics....as Lenny on the Simpsons says, "It's a winning combination."

[harwich rich]

oh my gawd he's crowning!

[harwich rich]

as for doggy style-isn't that what got her into that condition in the first place?

[louclinton]

That's a hell of a birth canal, Brit.

Getting my season ticket allocation today.

I am giddier than Meadow must have been when Tony said NO to "Man", played by Steve Buscemi.

[birthofasoxfan97]

Kapler's got the look, alright.

[Cyn]

Actually, many women give birth in that position.

Doesn't take away from the fact that Spears is a redneck, I'm just sayin'.

[Cyn]

Acutally, I guess it's more accurate to say many women are in labor in that position.

[h.b.]

Actually, many women give birth in that position.

Yep, it appears the guys in today's strip were unduly critical of Mrs. Preston.

This from a birthing website:

"Giving birth on your hands and knees can help relieve back pain by helping the baby rotate into a more favorable position for birth. It also may decrease the pressure on the perineum and hemorrhoids. On your hands and knees you can move more freely than in the semi-sitting or side-lying positions.However it may be tiring to stay in the position for a long time. Being on all fours can also help slow a very rapid birth."

There's actually another inaccuracy in the strip involving the aspersion towards rednecks, but I won't point it out just yet. Let's see if one of you finds it.

[vermonter]

That sculpture is as disturbing as anything I've seen in many moons.

[buckner was framed]

shoot, and I thought rednecks gave birth while doing the dishes, a la Monty Python and the Meaning of Life

[IkeG]

"Deah, could you pick that up for me?"

Graf got waived after a crappy spring. Too bad ... good guy. Hope it works out for him.

HB, my guess for the other inaccuracy is that a New Englander was the first to deep-fry a Twinkie. That'd be that northeastern ingenuity at work.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

I'd take Kapler and Nixon into any roadhouse brawl around. Did you see that picture of him in the brawl last year? None of the "hold me back, hold me back", that dude REALLY needed to be restrained.

[AJM]

I don't know if you were aware of this, but there's actually a Sox connection to that Britney Spears piece: the 'asshat' sculptor was previously known for his 'death mask' of Ted Williams' head:

http://www.send2press.com/newswire/print/news_2005-10-1031-003.shtml

[h.b.]

IkeG,

Close. According to CNN the deep-fried twinkie was first invented in Brooklyn.

But, as we know, you don't really have to be from the south to get redneck cred. Your as likely to see a mullet in NH as you are Alabama.

[JAy]

No disrespect to Nixon, Willy Mo,and the gang. I'd be more afraid of who was on their way out of the bullpen!

http://www.meadvilletribune.com/prosports/cnhinsprosports_story_054131049.html

[Jason O.]

hb, I would 2x check the deep fried twinkie source...recall that CNN reports things like:

1) The US gassed US troops in Vietnam
2) at LEAST 10,000 bodies were floating in the water after Katrina in NO.

[yazgoesbacklookingupitsgone]

"shoot, and I thought rednecks gave birth while doing the dishes, a la Monty Python and the Meaning of Life."

The movie portrayed birthing techniques of the Irish Catholic, not southern rednecks.

How can that statue claim to be a tribute to 'pro-life' when obviously the bear was slaughtered, skinned and then laid out for ol' Brit to - what's the word? - yuckify. What an undignified way to treat a majestic animal!

[h.b.]

Jason,

You're so right re CNN. Don't forget Eason Jordan of CNN saying the US military specifically and purposely targets journalists.

Yaz,

Yeah, the bearskin rug definitely adds to the creep factor of that statue.

[DenverSoxFan]

Almost 20 posts so far and nobody (outside of h.b. in the strip) has mentioned Hee Sop Choi.

Am I the only one who popped a gigantic baseball boner when I heard the news? These are tidings of great joy!

[James]

I hate to cross the creator... but as far as the comments on CNN go... I think any "news" source in any form should be double and triple checked. You can't always believe what you read/hear no matter what the source... not just CNN.

BTW Another great strip... I am junkie now and this is my first stop after coffee each morning. Thanks!

[Kaz]

I heard an interesting theory on that Britney statue:

It wasn't a statute of Britney until it didn't make it as a statue of some pregnant chick.

No evidence to back this up...but it's definitely plausible.

[h.b.]

Good point about Choi and this reminds that I also wanted to mention Josh Bard's great working catching Wake recently.

What I mean is when I first read about Choi I was thinking, wow, they've covered everything and the only weak spot remaining seems to be backup catcher. But that seems covered as well.

[harwich rich]

Hee Sop can toot his own crow on my team any day

[NYSoxfan]

I hear you Denver, did you see that bomb Hee Sop hit into the bay in S.F. last season? Made Barry Balco look like a girlyman in his own park. Smart pickup by the Bill James boys... Seanez could be a steal as well. Sox are shaping up nicely I must say.

[James]

I hate to cross the creator... but as far as the comments on CNN go... I think any "news" source in any form should be double and triple checked. You can't always believe what you read/hear no matter what the source... not just CNN.

BTW Another great strip... I am junkie now and this is my first stop after coffee each morning. Thanks!

[Scott]

Deep fried Oreos rule. Had them down the shore in NJ during Irish Weekend...