Mike:
So how the fuck is it that some asshat has taken the time to create a life-sized sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, but we don't have a single life-sized sculpture of Big Papi or Manny or Schill or any of "The 25"?
Bill:
What's up with that pose anyway? I didn't know you were supposed to give birth doggy style?
Mike:
Yeah, well, you're not supposed to deep fry a twinkie or leave your Christmas lights up year 'round, but there's no fucking reasoning with a redneck.
Bill:
So Foulke finally throws in a spring training game and looks great. Like I said, this is why Francona is the manager and I'm not.
Mike:
Everything is falling into place. Choi's on board just in case Youks needs to move to third if Lowell can't cut it.
Mike:
Yeah, what is it about guys jawing at each other while, behind them their respective teammates begin that slow but menacing group walk up the dugout steps that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy?
Bill:
We are a violent people. But, hey, at least we don't try to chop your head off for swapping religions.
Mike:
Yeah, that Abdul Rahman dude just wanted to bat for Jesus instead of Mohammed, it's not like he became a Yankees fan or anything.
Bill:
I know, let's prioritize and shit for fuck's sake people.
