Putting the U in Ululate
Susan/Circle:
So this cartoon thing has gotten totally out of hand … Now the Iranians are sponsoring a contest for the "best" Holocaust cartoon? Jumpin' Jeebus.
Mike:
Wait a second, I thought the Iranians didn't believe the Holocaust evah took place? I'm confused.
Susan/Circle:
All I know is Johnny Damon is lucky he resembled the bearded Jesus and not the bearded Mohammed. That would have caused one fuck of a shit storm.
Mike:
Hmmm … "Johnny Mohammed" has sort of a ring to it. Heh. But he'd need to change his tagline, of course …
Mike:
Instead of "We're a bunch of idiots!" it'd be "You're a bunch of infidels!"
Susan/Circle:
I'm overcome with a sudden urge to ululate.
Mike:
You know I'm surprised the whole ululating thing has nevah caught on with sports fans. That sound is a total mind fuck. I mean think about it. Bottom of the 9th, pressure situation, need just one more out with the other team's sluggah confidently striding to the plate … And all of a sudden 35 thousand fans begin to ululate in unison!
Susan/Circle:
Somewhere Alexander Enmanuel Rodriguez just pissed himself.
Outstanding, h.b. By far the most U's in a comic strip since Ugeth Urbina burned up his houseboy.
Posted by: louclinton | 2006.02.07 at 08:36 AM
Ouch. That UU reference hurt, louclinton.
I don't have the glottal ability to ululate, and I'm guessing alot of other folks are in the same situation. May I suggest instead that folks yell out "durka durka mohammed jihad." That's easy to do.
Posted by: da kine | 2006.02.07 at 09:14 AM
Just too funny.
Posted by: David Pinto | 2006.02.07 at 09:15 AM
Humor turns to depair...think of the absolute worst case scenario you can re: Iran obtaining atomic weapons. The reality is probably worse.
I subscribe to the explanation of the Muslim world's rage as jealously and anger that Western Civ. passed them about 350 years ago and never looked back.
If my culture took the mantle from the Romans as the most educated and culturally advanced society for almost 800 years, I would probably be pissed off too if it slipped away.
Posted by: Jason O. | 2006.02.07 at 09:42 AM
NolaSox, I've never hooped a beaver but my wife bought me a ring for Christmas with one on it. It's a replacement for my original "brass rat" that got stolen out of my house (along with some electronics and her wedding ring) about 20 years ago.
Posted by: RonF | 2006.02.07 at 10:09 AM
What shows the culture gap more than anything on this issue of the Mohammed cartoons are comments from various figures in the Islamic world that "The right to free speech doesn't include the right to show disrespect or offend." Sorry, guys, but it means exactly that or nothing at all.
Posted by: RonF | 2006.02.07 at 10:11 AM
I wore that hat to church. My fellow choir members went nuts. But, one of the women who sings with our choir is from Arkansas and she said, "Y'all look like half my uncles."
My wife is afraid when I wear it around that some PETA clown is going to go ballistic when they see it. I told her "I can only hope."
Posted by: RonF | 2006.02.07 at 10:13 AM
Yeah, but doesn't Rodriguez just randomly piss himself anyway? Don't think he really needs prompting.
Posted by: Sean O | 2006.02.07 at 10:29 AM
"'You're a bunch of infidels.'" Well done there, h.b. Well done, indeed.
God, a Yankee fan in my office is giving me so much shit today. Granted, he's one of the dumbest men I've ever met (irrespective of the team he supports) and he's nice enough in other aspects of life, but he's caterwauling about how "Ortiz is gonna suck this year with no protection." "Where has Manny gone?" I ask. Him: "He wants out; they'll trade him." Me: "I'll believe it when it happens." Him: "We're going to the World Series this year." Me: "*incoherent laughter*"
Posted by: Devine | 2006.02.07 at 10:44 AM
The only thing more aggravating than breaking down old news to a "fan" of another team is listening to these rumors that the Sox will be going hard after the Rocket. Ooh ooh- can we pay you and your bad back/ hamstrings over $18 million to be our eighth starting pitcher? That would be schweet!...
*sarcasm off*
Seriously, I'd rather see him on the MFY for two reasons- one, a large % of MFY fans feel the same way I do about him, two we hit the crap out of him the last time he was there. Bring it Rogah.
RonF- MIT alum? I'll be going back for my sister's commencement in June. Just walking on that kampus maiks mee feel schtupid...
Posted by: NV in SD | 2006.02.07 at 12:15 PM
And the fact that we can grace Johnny on photoshops, hats, t-shirts, and more from here to eternity and not have a Christian intifadah on our hands is exactly why Iran *should* have a holocaust panning contest.
If the crazier forms of Islam would get over themselves and be more secure in their religion, then they wouldn't need to burn embassies and embargo the Danes. They'd see some stupid cartoon and think...meh.
MIT used to have a server domain called "F*?!theSkullofJesus"...I didn't see the Pope cutting ties to nerd institutes in the US. Christianity has its crazies but fortunately, they're kept in check by the Democrats most of the time.
Posted by: Kaz | 2006.02.07 at 12:44 PM
Kaz: I agree completely. Further, Islam never had a Thomas Aquinas, who is the most important Western figure of the last 1,000 years. His delineation of "Reason" and "Faith" and how the two are mutually beneficial (i.e., God gave you Reason so it is an affront to Him if you don't develop it) laid the foundation for the scientific method in (extremely) Catholic Europe.
Dan Devine,
I can't vouch for the logic of your co-worker, but he arrived at the correct conclusion...
Posted by: Jason O. | 2006.02.07 at 01:34 PM
Jason O.: sez u.
Posted by: Devine | 2006.02.07 at 02:30 PM
"If the crazier forms of Islam would get over themselves and be more secure in their religion,"
This differs from the crazier forms of Christianity in what way, exactly?
Posted by: Ryan with a Capital "R" | 2006.02.07 at 03:08 PM
"If the crazier forms of Islam would get over themselves and be more
secure in their religion,"
This differs from the crazier forms of Christianity in what way,
exactly?
This is somewhat related... I think one major difference between Islam and the Jewish and Christian religions lies in the notion of God's word.
In Islam, God's message was given "as is" if you will. Wheras in the Judeo/Christian belief, God's word is meant to be "interpreted" by man.
With the former, you're more or less locked down with no possibility for change.
With the latter, one can move with the times. So you have a Judeo/Christian tradition that has changed considerably over the centuries with regard to things like the treatment of women and a willingness to accept/reconcile scientific discovery.
This is a pretty profound difference and one that, frankly, leaves me fairly pessimistic regarding the possibility for hunky-dory coexistance between Islam and the rest of the world. Hopefully, that's just my cynicism (I'm a Red Sox fan after all) showing through.
Posted by: h.b. | 2006.02.07 at 04:01 PM
I think the reason the Islamic world seems to contain more crazy fanatics than the West is because we've had the freedom to interpret our religions figuratively, a luxury not afforded most folks in the Muslim world.
For instance: The Old Testament of the Bible contains just as many proscriptions for the violent, gory death of unbelievers as the Koran does (check out Leviticus or Deuteronomy if you doubt it.) But, aside from a few fringe elements, nobody takes that stuff literally. We have the freedom to interpret as metaphors the parts of the Bible that are more factually dubious, whereas Muslims run the risk of getting executed by their governments for attempting the same.
Th reason for this has a lot less to do with the racial, ethnic, or religious makeup of our respective societies, and a lot more to do with our conscious decision, roughly 230 years ago, to not let the priests run the government.
And once again: Manny's not going anywhere.
Posted by: Aaron | 2006.02.07 at 04:28 PM
This differs from the crazier forms of Christianity in what way, exactly?
Crazy Christians' Demands: Want Xmas as Christmas and Want Wal-Mart to call it a Christmas Sale not a Holiday Sale.
Crazy Christians' Methods: Boycott Wal-Mart and Complain to the Newspapers
Maniacal Muslims' Demands: Want Muhammad left out of Danish cartoons.
Maniacal Muslims' Methods: Burning down embassy buildings, attempting to storm Agram AF Base forcing guards to open fire, bomb threat on a French newspaper, embargoing all Danish imports at the expense of their own people/country, sponsoring Anti-Holocaust Cartoon Contests.
Psh, I dunno, I guess you're right...they're *totally* the same.
The crazy Christians are secure in their faith, they just hate to hear it being disparaged, especially in an effort to be "Politically Correct". The crazy Muslims aren't secure in their religion. They feel like anything that occurs against their beliefs is an affront to their very existence. The only recourse is to wipe all evidence of infidelity from the Earth because only then will their religion be purified again. Like others have said, until they learn how to go crazy better and marginalize these elements within their religion, not much is going to change.
Posted by: Kaz | 2006.02.07 at 04:29 PM
And once again: Manny's not going anywhere.
If he does, I hope the Red Sox National Embassy in downtown Boston is burnt to the ground (the Embassy, not the Holy Land of Fenway).
Posted by: Kaz | 2006.02.07 at 04:31 PM
"the treatment of women"
The papacy would love it if women stayed home and had babies.
"Willingness to accept/reconcile scientific discovery."
The papacy apologized for its treatment of Galileo in 2000. Way to accept that the earth revolves around the sun.
And really, Catholicism, despite its changes, really is presented as an "as is" religion, despite what American Catholics would prefer to believe.
Not that I'm defending radical Islam.
Posted by: Ryan with a Capital "R" | 2006.02.07 at 04:33 PM
Middle Eastern theocracies have about as much business talking about free speech as John Kerry has talking about the Red Sox. Fanaticism has about that much to do with religion too. I don’t know enough about theology to partake in a very deep discussion about it, but none of the Muslims I’ve met have ever had a burning desire to spend eternity with 72 virgins. I’m sure if you compile the statistics over the last ten or twenty years, you’ll find terrorists representing Islam have done significantly more damage than those representing Christianity, but I would argue with anyone saying terrorists representing Islam are more representative of their religion than the KKK is to their church.
On the other hand, after some minor surgery yesterday, I got to spend the day with my work laptop on the couch watching Faith Rewarded taking painkillers, so I’m feeling pretty idealistic right now.
Posted by: Pond | 2006.02.07 at 05:00 PM
Saw a great Frontline over the weekend dealing with this very point. Several Islamic scholars say that one smallish sect (forget the name) is pretty much driving 100% of the radical movement.
H.B., did you notice that Barbara Lippert left a comment on yesterday's strip? She's one of the leading ad commentators out there. I see her all the time on various news shows.
Posted by: Bob | 2006.02.07 at 05:13 PM
Bob,
Thanks for the heads up re Barbara Lippert. I saw the comment, but didn't realize her prominence in the ad world.
Posted by: h.b. | 2006.02.07 at 06:04 PM
Ryan,
Are you as enlightened about other belief systems within the Judeo/Christian world, or do you single out Catholocism for your, er, magnanimous comments? :)
Posted by: h.b. | 2006.02.07 at 06:09 PM
Bob, the sect is named after a dude called Wahab who lived in the 18th century in Saudi Arabia. I'll give him this: he was really fucking focused on his primary goal that not only all other religions, but also all other branches of Islamic faith should be replaced with his vision of the Prophet's message.
The problem is, I've read conservative estimates that something like 1% of the male population of the Muslim world are potential recruits, which is a number in the single digit millions.
Ryan, quick question...are fundamentalist Christians planning to kill non-Christians en masse as we speak? I also missed the news item where crazed Christians wiped out 3,000 people in a major Middle Eastern city.
Dude, wake up from the relativist dream...
Posted by: Jason O. | 2006.02.07 at 11:56 PM
hb,
I was a Catholic, so that's what I'm most familiar with. I'm familiar with them marching in front of abortion clinics. I'm familiar with their anti-homosexual policies. I'm familiar with the stance on birth control and the effect that's having on Third World countries, both in terms of poverty and the spread of HIV. The Catholic Church is as unenlightened as any major institution on the planet. It doesn't have a great historial track record, either. Once they stopped being eaten by lions, they started in on everyone else. "Hey, let's go kill some Moslems! And on the way, we'll kill some Jews, too! Hooray!"
And, do I need to mention the child-friendly priests and the Sgt. Schulz-esque bishops?
But, I reserve the same level of love for non-Catholic Christians like Fred Phelps and Pat Robertson. I'm just less familiar with them.
And really, it's the institution and not the source material. But isn't that always the case?
Jason O: You missed the fundamentalist Christian bombing a major Middle Eastern city in a brutal act of vengenance against an innocent civilian population?
Posted by: Ryan with a Capital "R" | 2006.02.08 at 11:27 AM
Ryan,
I'm really not at all comfortable with your broad generalizations of Catholics.
It's no different than saying all inner-city blacks are crack running gangstas or all Muslims are fanatical jihadists.
So let's just cease and desist this particular angle to the thread before this goes any further.
Posted by: h.b. | 2006.02.08 at 12:06 PM
h.b., my apologies. It's not my intent to paint all Catholics with the same brush that I use to tar The Church as an institution. I don't believe that all Catholics hold the same beliefs that the Church does. My apologies that I came across that way.
Posted by: Ryan with a Capital "R" | 2006.02.08 at 01:01 PM
Why oh why do muslims lack a sense of humor?
Any media which isn't created by the Middle East cannot be understood as anything but anti Islam by the world of infidels.
Compare and contrast:
For over 5,000 years, Jews- the people who gave the world monotheism, rose up from slavery, only to suffer under the yoke of world wide minority bashing (there are barely 17 million Jews in the entire world, thanks to Hitler, Stalin and many, many anti semites).
But Jews in general have a goddam sense of humor!! From Groucho Mrx to Jerry seinfeild, to Larry David- and so many more- Jews, persecuted forever, managed to find humor in the fact most of the world wants them dead.
But can Muslims find some levity in what is barely even insults? No- they would rather stage riots, kill each other, make ungodly noises then blame it all on, yes, the Jews. And the U.S.a. of course.
The fact is, modern day Jews did not create their plight, but Muslims are all too happy to make mincemeat out of themselves, blowing themselves up to become martyrs.
Jewss ARE martyrs. They didn't have to create it, the rest of the world did. Muslims want to be like Jews- martyrs- not because of virgins (which hardly explains female suicide bombers) so they can get learn how to be funny.
But if every time some fun is poked at them (Salman Rushdie?!) and they react like hooligans, Stand up comedy will never be teir forte.
Moral: Muslim: learn to laugh at yourselves- the shrouding of women, the silly hats, the false history there was actually a Palestine (the British created 'Palestine' before that, it was the holy land as it is today for the three major religons, and all three believers lived in relative peace.)
Geez. Riots over a fucking cartoon.
Islam: humor is out there; it may relieve some of your miseries.
If it can do it for the Jews, you muslims can take the world be storm just by using humor, instead of bombs, riots, and hiding all the women.
Posted by: Blade87 | 2006.02.08 at 10:39 PM