Hold the sickle, hold the regress, your holy orders do upset us

As they wait and wait and wait for a Manny, or a Papi, or a V-Tek to idolize, The Soxaholix continue to make do with The King … (Yes, it's sad, of course it is, but whatcha gonna do?)

Doug:
Gammons has some good news in his latest, you seen it? Jonathan Papelbon voted 8th most likely rookie to contribute in 2006, Crisp voted 3rd most likely to have a breakout season, Lowell 8th most likely to have the biggest comeback.

 

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Mike:
You know after 3 and half months, I'm so tired of effin' supposition. I want to see some action for reals.

 

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Doug:
Christ, tell me about it. This happens to me every year: I get all pissy pants excited ovah the mofo Truck Day and then I remembah, it's still the middle of February.

 

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Mike:
I know. There's nothing to do but troll the web looking for young Canadians on broadband.

 

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Doug:
So in these Muslim cartoon riots they've blown up the Colonel and bitch-slapped Ronald but I don't see nobody messing the the King.

 

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Mike:
Hell no you don't. You know why? Cuz the motherfucking King would go all reverse-jihad on their sorry free speech hating Dhimmi lovin' asses that's why.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, the King's all I don't need no stinking 72 black eyed virgins — I've got the Whopperettes and Brooke Burke for fuck's sake.

 

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Mike:
Righteous.

 

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Comments

[Dex]

Even though the WSJ is closely monitoring this site the fbombs are back. Thrilling!

[louclinton]

Godamn, I hope h.b. isn't a cop in real life. These mutherfucking righteous asshole rimming cartoon characters might get him in trouble, just like Club Soda Kenny.

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/view.php?StoryID=20060214-053135-4551r

[Bob Laden]

Infidel Hart Brachen, your wretched western ways are about to collapse inward upon you. Oh, the glorious path of the Prophet will soon consume you and your King, side by side much as a burger and fries. Hear our call for vengence, which will soon be visited on you and your harlet Brooke Burke. Much as the onion and tomato fall from above onto America's patty, soon fire will fall your way. From our caves and huts, we rise to smite you!

(BTW, what do you think of Pedro's "toe problem"? Osama thinks it's a blatant ploy, but I tend to believe the little guy.)

[h.b.]

Dex,

The WSJ isn't "closely monitoring this site" (although I know a couple of people from their domain poke in each day).

I was referring previously (re decrease in profanity) to the feature story they did on this site back in October. (You can read the PDF of the article here.

You can accuse me of being a "sell out" or whatever for doing that, because I'll be the first to confess I was pretty stoked that a publication as esteemed as the WSJ was going to run a feature not just a blog (and we know how the MSM views blogs and bloggers in not particularly high esteem) but a relatively small blog readership wise and one as niche as this.

I'd do it the same way again with no regrets.

I should point out too, that originally the story was supposed to run on the front page but that got nixed by the editors for a couple of reasons including the fact that I wasn't willing to reveal my true identity.

And speaking of that, I think it was you Dex who accused me of "hiding behind a psuedonym." Well, I am hiding, but I'm not hiding from you.

My employer has a very strict "anti-blogging" policy and I'd be fired in heartbeat if they read just a single strip.

And as much as a like doing this and love having the readers and the comments, frankly, it isn't worth losing my job over unless all of you want to pony up the $$$ to pay for me to do this full time including health insurance and the other benes.

[harwich rich]

"Don't go changin'" -William Martin Joel (yuck)

[NV in SD]

"Take that idolator!"

Classic. I'm thinking that the chaps in that photo probably just got more frustrated as that particular situation developed- "You and everything you represent will now bow to Johnny Mohammed- Take that! Wait, he's still on the bench. Just kick him, it will come loose. WTF dude- he won't stop smiling at us! This is creepiong me out- let's go get some food. Mmmm- Big Macs."

Slow day today...

IMO, I think that any comparisons of Papelbon to Clemens are waaaaayyy premature. Sure he's showing some promise, but he's got a long way to go. I do like the idea of Covelli shining in the spotlight (and he will see a ton of FBs in front of the mashers).

Do we really have to wait 47 more days for real baseball? I just got tix to go to the WBC final next month- I guess that'll have to do for the time being.

[pawsoxpop]

Nice strip today HB. I particularly liked the link to the item about the young Canadians. I can just hear David Bowie now:

"Do you remember your President Trudeau? Do you remember when Maggie got to play? Or was it yesterday? All right -- Young Canadians, Young Canadians they were the Young Canadians..."

Giving away my age, I guess.

On another matter, Mr. Edes has interesting comparison of Coco Crisp and Johnny Damon at age 26 and Becket and Rocket at similar ages. My one quibble is when Edes writes: "Clemens never had the blister problems Beckett did, however."

I guess he doesn't remember Game 6 of the 1986 World Series.

[h.b.]

My one quibble is when Edes writes: "Clemens never had the blister
problems Beckett did, however."

I guess he doesn't remember Game 6 of the 1986 World Series.

Well done. Good memory.

"The blister that will live in infamy."

[da kine]

I thought the King was going the way of the Pepsi machine a la the infamous Pats' ad, but the one where he runs for the TD made me piss myself slightly, so the fatwa on him is currently on hold. The fatwa on the Pepsi machine and his cousin, the Pepsi can with Jay Mohr, remain in effect. Allahu akbar!

[Kaz]

The title of today's strip is priceless.

How do you know that you're talking with a young Canadian online?

They start the chat with "eh/s/l?".




* - For the old people, a/s/l stands for age/sex/location as a way of asking someone to intro themselves.

[lisa gray]

you are NOT a sellout

you just like spiderman - only his wife knows his secret identity.

it's very cool

[Dex]

HB--

Never accused you of the comment you referenced. I've only posted a couple, so check. I did say Saturday you seemed a little sensitive, and based on your reaction here, I'll stand by it.

[Dex]

I also wasn't suggesting you're selling out, I don't base my critque on how many f-bombs, I was poking a little fun at your Saturday comment that you'd cut back on f-bombs because of the WSJ, "This drop in profanity use was then exacerbated by the Wall Street Journal piece. They never came out and explicitly said to try and limit it, but.." Lighten up.

[h.b.]

Sorry, Dex, confused you with somebody else.

I am sensitive and/or driven insane by a couple of types of comments left on the site, most notably the ones in which it's obvious the reader/commentator hasn't been reading very long but still proceeds to make grand pronouncements about what the strip is or isn't.

But you're right: If I can't deal with that, I should turn the comments off. Point well taken.

I wish I was less sensitive in general, but I'm pretty certain it's just an integral part of my makeup and without it (along with the dozen or so other character flaws including impatience, solipsism, elitism, cynicism, being a classic Masshole, perfectionism, etc etc) I wouldn't be me and most probably wouldn't be doing this thing called The Soxaholix.

So it is what it is, and as Popeye was known to say, I am what am.

[Aaron]

I second the fatwa on that damn Pepsi machine and on Jay Mohr's Coke can. And on Jay Mohr, while we're at it. Can we get Pat Robertson on the case? He really seems to enjoy calling fatwas (Hugo Chavez, Ariel Sharon, the city of New Orleans, and the town in Pennsylvania that kicked the creationists off the school board, all in the last calendar year!) Of course, it doesn't seem like god is really listening to him.