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C'mon get happy (kitty!)

So why am I not surprised that Albert Belle is a stalkah?


I don't think there's evah been a playah who scared me as much as Albert Belle. And I don't mean just in his offensive capabilities, but just scared the living shit out of me in general, like when I'd be watching and Indians v Red Sox game he'd somehow know I was thinking ill of him and that he'd come through the TV screen and beat this shit out of me with a pillowcase full of oranges kind of scary.


No kidding. If Albert Belle were stalking me I'd be like one of those teeny chicks in a baby sittah slashah flicks all wide eyed and jumpy ready to piss my panties with every clap of thundah.


Yeah and then the phone rings: "Susan, this is the police. The call is coming from inside the house. Albert Belle is inside the house!"


Insert sound of my blood curdling screams.


Well, by the will of Allah (may peas be upon him), we've got pitchers and catchers in camp.


I stahted to hyperventilate when I first read this: "The bio says Beckett is 1 inch taller than Papelbon, but it doesn't mention anything about distribution of those 77 inches, and Beckett's torso rises noticeably higher than Papelbon's." Ah, somebody crack a window because it's getting hot in herre.


"This kid shakes your hand, and your whole body shakes"


Ohmigod. Let's just say I can't wait for my Happy Kitty to arrive from UPS any day now and the shit bettah be ready for the rigahs of the 162 game season.



"Blood curling"?

Well, at least that would make the Olympic event more interesting.

Heh, stupid spell check, or rather stupid spell check operator.

I wore out my welcome here last week criticizing the Soxaholix for hitting what struck me as a disgusting low.

Today, for what it's worth to you (probably not much), I offer enthusiastic praise for this particularly funny strip.

From Belle doing the Prizzi's Honors with the pillowcase full of oranges, to 'Susan' buzzing about the arrival of pitchers & gadgets, top to bottom funny, Brachen.

Bob, you have just made my top ten list of funniest comments.

ESPN has our guys listed 6th in their power rankings. Anxious to see how that pans out. April ain't arriving fast enough.

Curling is cool. There's "strateegeree" and seeing if someone can execute a particular play. Like a certain sport we all love.

Plus, the US women's team is a lot cuter than one might expect.

Stalking and onanism. We soxaholix live in a perfect world.

I don't suppose that "Happy Kitty" link is worksafe, huh? ;)

DSF: depends on whether you are male or female, heh

The link is fairly work safe, mostly text with two small thumbs of the product which doesn't look obviously sexually related.

However, I don't think it'd be especially safe to use the Happy Kitty while at your work station. :)

I've always thought Albert Belle was a HOFer on two levels:

1 - being a monster at the plate (see: Jaffe's JAWS measures - he was dirty sick)

2 - being a periennial Willie McGee Award Winner for ugliest man in baseball, and in a particularly scary fashion (unlike my boy Papi)

And now, I can safely say that he's a HOFer in the true sense of Ty Cobb - he's a stone-cold felon. I love it - although it adds a new spin to the "Chris Truby Joke"


Reding the title of today's strip immediately made me think that there was going to be some sort of weird Hello Kitty link somewhere. Boy was I wrong. Do you get a portion of the proceeds for that little tickler if the ladies enter 'brachen' when they order, hb?

I got goosebumps reading that Snow article. Literally- look at my arm. Not to get ahead of myself, but if those two pan out, we could have an overpowering 1-2 in our rotation for the next 6-8 years. Sick.

Speaking of Belle, remember Kevin Mitchell? There was that rumor that he decapitated hid girlfriend's cat (the bitch mos' definitely brought that shit on herself, yo) and I also recall him spearing a fly ball on the dead run with his bare hand - Bo Jackson impressive.

I think that Mitchell making that bare-handed catch was during the '89 season when he was a home run monster. Talk about a "career year."

And check out who's sponsoring his baseball-reference.com page:

hart dahling

thank you SO much for that link to the pretty kitty.

maybe we should get one for albert belle and then he'll look and feel MUCH happier...


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