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Now where were we?

Zeus has sent thundah out of a cleah blue sky — Odysseus has returned!


The birds are in their trees, the toast is in the toaster, the poets are at their windows …


And though there are still questions and the usual, tiahd old recriminations, for today at least I just want to feel the bliss.


Guess this means I need to cease the ritualistic morning micturition of my little Larry Lucchino voodoo doll … And I was so enjoying that.


Probably should keep the doll handy, though, just in case.


Interesting: John Henry says there will be no details announced until next week. Meanwhile the Nationals announce their new ownership group next week. Any chance Mr. Lucchino goes to Washington?


Right now I don't care if Lucky goes or stays, I'm just glad this sad saga is ovah.


Author's Notes:

The opening "The birds are in their trees …" line is a from the opening stanza of the poem "Monday" from Billy Collins' collectionThe Trouble with Poetry.


Good lord, I don't know how ya'll can stand it when you wake up and find that the CHB has pissed on your cheerios. I'll start looking for a big toothed, ruddy faced, red fro'd voodoo doll for Mike.

"ritualistic morning micturition"....classic. wicked pissah

"No man ever steps in the same river twice.
It is not the same river, and he is not the same man."

-Heraclitus (535-475 BC)

Stop the credits, and dry your teary eyes! The boy in the gorillah suit, Kid Kong, survived his suicidal leap from the John Hancock Towah afterall. And now, all the Fay Wray Bosox fans are nestled in his palm again. Heh. Babe loves a happy ending, no mattah how implausible or convoluted.

I know this is off-topic, but did anyone see the words of that self-important douche bag in the Bronx? Of course I mean Slappy, in the NY Daily News......

I paste and quote: "At the end of the day, with my status in the game, it was important for me to participate," Rodriguez said. "We need participation from all our key players and I'm one of those guys."

This after waffling for how long and unable to follow the wishes of his wife or his madre??

CHB is mad because he was already coming up with storylines for his "Curse of the Bambino II", the Bambino being the youngest GM in MLB history. That muckraking polesmoker needs a kick in the mommy/daddy button. I ask again: is Shaughnessy actually a fan? I think Jimmy Fallon is a bigger BoSox fan than that ginger freak.

But the best part of the A-Waffle update is that as he struggled over whether to accept the starring role in Bud Selig's "Intergalactic Baseball Extravaganza," and, if so, for which team (Sharks or Jets?), Rodriguez sought the wise counsel of Manny "Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now" Ramirez.
"Manny, Manny, on the wall, for which team should I answer the call?"

By the way, Soxaholix, your boy in the gorillah suit, Kid Kong, just perpetrated the front-office equivalent of A-Waff's sissy slap.

I don't care what the Yankee fans say; I'm relatively happy about this turn of events.

"It won't be the same." "He waffled." It all sounds like the Peanuts adults talking to me.

Now, can we have a goddamn centerfielder, please? And YES, I'm still glad it's not Damon at that price.

Seriously, CHB should consider seppuku - it's the only way he can retain some shred of honor . . . what a dickface

The Sox tried Democracy, but decided that they prefer a Theocracy better.

//By the way, Soxaholix, your boy in the gorillah suit, Kid Kong, just perpetrated the front-office equivalent of A-Waff's sissy slap.//

One of the lamest, most tortured comparisons that I've heard in a long time.

da kline: I don't expect the CHB, or any other Boston sports reporter or columnist to be a Red Sox fanboy. My problem is the attitude they've taken for as long as I can recall that they need to be hyper-critical of the team to the point of taking frequent cheapshots in order to prove their objectivity. And in CHB's particular case, his constant need to try to make himself part of the story is a major problem as well.

"One of the lamest, most tortured comparisons that I've heard in a long time."

Couldn't agree more. Seems that our dashing duo of MFY fans here have a problem with that (see Jay O's recent MFY-Pats comparison).

I am avoiding CHB's article like the bird flu. That f-ing guy isn't happy unless he's stirring the shit-pot. A plague upon his house!

In the feel-good department, here's a highly entertaining interview with our friend, #34.


Babe, how is the Kid Kong Komeback similarly cringe-worthy to A-Waffle's sissy slap, you ask?
Well, for starters both incidents are high profile baseball embarrassments.
In both cases, the perpetrator thought they were doing the right thing in the moment, but due to a momentary lapse of reason, and/or muscular coordination, ended up spazzing out.
You won't get the comparison if you can't laugh at the slap-stick hilarity of quitting your "dream job," then, banishing yourself into self-imposed exile (on Skull Island?) in a gorilla suit, then, emerging and re-assuming your post as if nothing happened.
It's what Schilling would call "junior high baseball."

In the big picture, both incidents are much ado about nothing.

Yeah- but Slappy is, well, just such an assface about it...

In light of his recent melodramadies, I suspect A-Waffle might be secretly scheming to take advantage of this WBC opportunity to defect to the Netherlands, where there's less stress.

I believe what is most important about the apparent conclusion of the Wither Theo saga is that; while "conceptually" his return is not a surprise, the announcement itself was semi-stunning.

In other words, while details of the "heated" negotiations for Theo's contract renewal were revealed with some regularity by the Globe, Herald, et al. back in October, his actual return this week is "news".

Thus, Theo's wish for tighter information control around Fenway may be now taken seriously. Just a thought...

Today, I'm as content about the Red Sox future as I've ever been.

"Life wouldn't be worth living if I worried over the future as well as the present." - W. Somerset Maugham

Gee, Babe, you really seem obsessed with that gorilla suit...I just hope you don't hurt yourself trying to unravel after tying yourself into a pretzel of tortured logic with this ARod/Theo comparison. Losing Theo in the first place might have been an embarassment for the front office, but not for him personally, and it looks as if they've corrected the situation today.

But then, after making the comparison, you say this:

//In the big picture, both incidents are much ado about nothing.//

If the Sox FO runs smoothly and productively from here on out, then Theogate does end up being about nothing. But, regarding the Slap Play, I don't know how you can argue that it amounted to nothing. For one thing, it dramatically hurt the image of the best (or, at the least, the most-talented) player in baseball for all the world to see him attempt to cheat in a manner which most Little League players know they wouldn't get away with. Not to mention how effeminate he looked in the process. For another thing, for Red Sox fans, it sure felt like a clear-cut sign from the Baseball Gods that we might not be fated to always have victory snatched from us in the most horrible way possible after all. Until we saw that replay, all we apparently knew was that Bronson Arroyo had become the new Bill Buckner, that Jeter had scored to make it a one run game, and that ARod was on second representing the inevitable tying run...in other words, we were yet again Charlie Brown having the football snatched away from us by Lucy. When the replay showed what ARod had done, it was the clearest possible sign that 2004 would be different...and I imagine that a fair number of Yankee fans realized that as well.

Right, AJM, but the slap play didn't have nearly the impact on Yankee fans as the Damon Game 7 daggers to the heart. Most Yankee fans, myself included, couldn't easily recall the significance of the slap incident. We put it out of our minds long ago, because again, in the big picture it didn't matter. In fact, the only time I'm reminded about the slap play is when I visit here, where it re-runs more than 'Seinfeld.' The A-Dog moment that is most vivid in the psyche of Yankeeland is his 2005 rally-squashing, season-ending double-play dink, which, of course, had nothing to do with the Red Sox.

Babe - I feel your comparison, and I won't bandwagon you out of the house here with any sort of abasement, because I agree that it's mostly much ado about nothing in the end.

I think the only point of disagreement would be the embarrassment quotient - to be specific, Theo's prodigal act doesn't really strike me as embarrassing, but more as a semi-normal wanderlust for someone around 30. But as always, our mileage probably varies significantly.

The gorilla suit moment, however, was classic - one of the greatest Boston sports moments of all time, or certainly one of the most memorable.

Here's what Theo brings back to the table: stability.

2 GMs (neither one able to figure out how to dial a phone and get a CF...or SS)...Lucchino amok in the FO like Ying without a Yang...nothing coming out of the offices to the media of any use in controlling the attention in this off-season. Even the arbitration-killing 3yr-12mil deal to Arroyo didn't get the airtime it deserved..and I think it's a great deal for what he brings.

It was like someone threw a rock at a plate glass window and the shards just went everywhere with little pieces falling out of the frame occasionally. But now, we're putting a new pane in and I think he's going to be what gets us a good deal on a CF and SS for the new season (preferably for one of our 6 SPs).

//Right, AJM, but the slap play didn't have nearly the impact on Yankee fans as the Damon Game 7 daggers to the heart. Most Yankee fans, myself included, couldn't easily recall the significance of the slap incident. We put it out of our minds long ago, because again, in the big picture it didn't matter.//

I've actually heard a lot of Yankee fans say that they had a bad feeling that they were going to lose before Game 7. My Yankee-fan college roommate actually called me the morning before game 7 to conceed. Probably not the majority, but still a significant minority. I would imagine that the majority likely threw in the towel after Damon's second hr.

And I would argue that the Slap Play did matter in the big picture, because if ARod had done anything else on that play, his team would have been in a better position to still win Game 6. If he had just stopped and made Arroyo come to him, Jeter would have at least been in scoring position. And if he had tried to barrel into Arroyo, he might have been able to knock the ball away legally.

Theo's back!! Enough said...I think not. Who makes an announcement that someone is returning but can't clearly define what they will be doing. A management team that has no clue what is going on. This is there way of using the media in a passive-aggresive way to deal with internal strife. Is there a possibility that LL is moving along, say closer to the big White House? Or should I say being told he should move on.

Whatevs, AJM
It sounds to me like you're still giving the ole 'slap play' the kind of frame-by-frame attention more commonly reserved for Jenna Jameson's best work.
Enjoy the return of Kid Kong to Yawkey Way. The gorilla of your dreams is back. Rejoice.

So let me get this straight. Theo turns down $3.5 million to be the full-time GM, then three months later comes back for what I assume will be a similar full-time job at less money? I guess he really did want to be a social worker like his brother.

My biggest problem with Shaughnessy is that he is lazy and doesn't do his job which as a columnis is either to A. entertain or B. inform. His columns are as entertaining as the agate type in a 15-year-old Racing Form, and they're as informative as a babbling Alzheimer's patient. If only they were as informative as the 15-year-old Racing Form or as entertaining as the Alzheimer's patient, that would be an improvement. Shaughnessy is as bad as Big Bri, only he's harder to avoid.

I don't understand the comparison of Theo's "waffle" to the slap. The Theo saga is a tempest in a teapot of off-season intrigue. The slap was a cowardly and illegal act by a so-called MVP in a crucial game that may have cost his team a pennant. I'll take the "waffle" any day.

As for the Pats-Spanks comparison, let's let Bob Kraft spend 50 percent more than his closest competitor for a few years before we start making that comparison.

//Whatevs, AJM
It sounds to me like you're still giving the ole 'slap play' the kind of frame-by-frame attention more commonly reserved for Jenna Jameson's best work.//

And it sounds to me like you're in serious denial. You can downplay it as much as you want, but ARod's slap killed what turned out to be the Yanks' second to last chance to win the ALCS, since they had no chance in Game 7.

But, by all means, keep on obsessing over that gorilla suit.

From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers!
Long live King Theo!!!

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