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Get your beatitude, heah

I'm so glad the Red Sox front office is focused with such alacrity at taking care of the most important business at hand like, you know, exploiting the full powah of the legal system to secure "Teh Ball."


Absolutely. It's all about priorities. Finding a new GM? Resolving the Manny and Damon situations? Well, that trivial shit can take a back seat.


Ohmigod yes. When you're a "baseball man" like Larry, you've got the for reals mad skillz to realize just how important these artifacts are.


You know, people call him Lucky Lucchino, but truly it is we, the fans, who are the real lucky ones.


I mean I used to think that after winning the first World Series pennant in 86 years the most important thing for the Red Sox would be to win anothah one. But only now have I seen the light and come to the realization that possessing and enshrining treasured, historically significant items from the past is the one true calling.


You were lost; now you are found.


Precisely. I mean check this out — When ABC decides to do a miniseries about the Pope, they cast a guy who looks fah moah like Larry Lucchino than he does John Paul 2 … Coincidence? Oh, I think not.


We are so fucking blessed.


Author's Notes:

The "teh" Susan uses in her first speech is an intentional typo meant to demonstrate her sarcasm.

The original inspiration for today's strip came from reading this post at Beth's Cursed to First blog early this morning.


Is there anything more smallminded and petty than the fight about this ball? Mr. B amply illustrates the point in today's opus. RSN COULD CARE LESS.
Memo to Luscious: More lawyers equals less fun. The game is about
drinking a beer while mowing the lawn and listening to Joe and Jerry,
wondering whether J. Kapstein ever washes that windbreaker (when I was a kid, they were called "shells"),
West Coast games that end at 2:30 am and you have to go to work in the morning,
seeing Tom Brewer walk off the mound--forever--in the midle of the game,
figuring out who D.Drinkwater is sitting with tonight,
summer days,
seeing Gus Triandos hit a grand slam over the Monster,
thinking Wally was lame at first, but now having a Wally with "Dad is #1" jersey (giveaway at Father's Day, 1995 +/-)on your desk,
sharing your MLB.com audio login with your college age sons,
listening repeatedly to your Dad swear he took you to Ted Williams' last game (sorry, it was on a Wednesday, and 11,000 people were in attendance);
seeing Vida Blue at Fenway;
using Fenway plastic souvenier cups from the last 20 years as dinnerware.

It's not about the ball.
Baseball man, my ass.

Well said!

I'm becoming increasingly alarmed by how out of touch with the fans the front office has become.

At first they really seemed to "get it" but lately not so much...

I bet they lose this suit; I hope they do anyway. All of the precedents point toward players or fans keeping historically significant baseballs. Or any baseballs, really. And, since the home team supplies the balls, wouldn't it be up to the Cardinals to sue Minky?

Yesterday I saw photos of the construction going on at Fenway - surely that's a requilary going in next to the .406 Club?

And ditto on the comments above.

I'll guaran-damn-tee you that Red Sox management is thinking about long term value of this asset. I bet that Sotheby's made a realistic pitch the Red Sox that the ball could be worth 10 million at auction in 10 years.

using Fenway plastic souvenier cups from the last 20 years as dinnerware

A-fucking-men to that. Last night I poured myself a big glass of iced tea in my plastic 1995 AL East champs cup.

And was anyone else taking all the camera-phone shots they could of the championship pennant everytime they were at Fenway last year? I finally found something worthwhile to do with that thing.

Devil's Advocate: it would be cool in twenty years to go see "the ball" that "broke the curse" blah blah blah. I was never comfortable with the fact that the ball belongs to Mientkiewicz, a player who was on the team for about five minutes and didn't contribute all that much. As Indiana Jones said, it belongs in a museum.

Having said that, at the end of the day, I could give a damn. I agree 100% with Lou about what is really important and I agree 100% with everyone else that there are far more important things for the front office to concentrate on. I've seen baseballs before, and I've seen the Red Sox win the World Series, and that was far cooler. I don't think the front office should not try to keep the ball. Let's keep it, but if you have to sue a guy to do so, christsakes, do your job.

To me, of all the things associated with the Red Sox winning the 2004 WS, the ball that was in play for the final is out is the least noteworthy.

And, to me at least, a ball that was in play for a particular out is always a "less than" when compared to the ball's role from the offensive side of things, i.e., homerun, first MLB hit, 3000th hit etc.

But, as I've mentioned before, I'm not much of a "keepsake" kind of guy, as it interferes with my overarching need to eliminate clutter and strive towards minimalism.

It is in my head, in my memory, where my nostalgia
thrives, and not in objects.

louc - you are straight on it. From my view, part of why we liked Theo was because he didn't (usually) look ridiculous sitting in the stands - it was feasible that he might actually be enjoying the game once in a while and understanding what it's all about. These people and the ballgate are a joke. Let the guy have it - please, who cares??? Or make him auction it with proceeds going to the Jimmy Fund. Just be reasonable.

Before my sweet husband had an ephiphany via Fenway, he saved this nasty lookin' Yankees cup. I hid it under the kitchen sink and stored the toilet brush in it.

It seems that when Ballgate Round I came about, it served to fray Minky's relationship to the organization and therefore, to the fans. CHB, as I recall, turned it into this whole, "It's mine- I'm using it to put my kids throught college" (DM)vs "We need the ball to perpetuate the legacy of the franchise blah blah blah" (LL)- complete with CHB making up quotes and the like. It might just be my recently-found distrust of the front office, but it seems that they might be using Round II as a diversion. The thing is, like everyone has said so far, the fans (for the most part) could give two shits about the ball. I for one, would rather read about how they had steadfastly refused to trade Manny, and signed JD to a 4/$40 mil deal than waste my time with this nonsense.

Assuredly, the Triumvirate will back their argument with the whole "it's for the fans" argument, when what the fans really want is a competent GM taking care of business at the most critical time of the offseason, a competetive team not mostly made up of guys who weren't anywhere near Boston in Oct. '04, and an ebb to the flow of bullshit coming from the Yawkey way offices.

Looks like we have our own mini-Iraq in Boston.


Larry Lucchino - GWBush
Saddam Hussein - The Game-Ending Baseball
The Quagmire of Iraq - Red Sox Off-season/Hot Stove
WMDs - Manny Ramirez
Osama - Johnny Damon
The Public - Sox Fans


After Osama scares The Public with his abilities, he goes into hiding and GWB chases after him. Distraction from Saddam proves too tempting and we head into the Quagmire of Iraq (claiming to want to find WMDs...but turning a blind eye while they disappear)...all in search of Saddam while Osama disappears too. The Public becomes completely disenchanted with GWB as approval ratings sink to an all time low...but GWB vows not to leave The Quagmire without a "win".

Just what he finally defines as a "win" remains unclear and how The Public will be better off afterwards is left to be seen...but a "win" is imminent and even if it comes down to seeing Saddam over our collective mantle, we will "win"...

Alright, so it's a little tortured, but my brain is fried from a recent deadline push at work...all I know is my season tix renewal form came in the mail a week ago...and it taunts me with its promises of another year of Sox ball, but its deadly stinger of a high price tag in the middle of Xmas shopping season lashes out when I go near. No! Bad renewal form!

The whole ballgate fiasco is a tempest that my teapot can do without, but I would be a lot more annoyed if the Sox weren't quietly putting together a very good bullpen behind the scenes. Thursday's acquisition of Jermaine VanBuren from the Cubs for a player to be named later was a nice move. VanBuren set the record for saves at the Cubs AAA farm team in Iowa, and major league hitters batted only .118 or somthing against him in his cup of coffee at Wrigley last year. The kid is only 25. A lot better than signing Flash Gorden to $38 million for three years if you ask me. Too bad Theo isn't around to take credit.

PS I can't take credit for that last analysis; it comes from a couple of other Soxaholix in my office. I was so busy griping about ballgate and signing the keepmanny petition that I didn't even notice the VanBuren signing until it was pointed out to me. But my colleages are right. With Timlin, DelCarmen, Bradford, Foulke, perhaps Arroyo and maybe Lester or Myers from the left, we're going to have a pretty good bullpen in 2006...

Kaz, I got my Red Sox ticket renewal form the same day I received my Patriots playoff tickets invoice. Hmmm, gifts for friends and family, or tickets to the Sox and Patriots...sorry friends and family:)

Oh, about the WS ball. Minky doesn't even have the real ball. Watch the highlight videos, and you'll see Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon swipe the ball from Minky's glove and subsititute it with another.

Pawsoxpop; Van Buren is a great name for a Red Sox closer. After all, it was the Van Buren boys who beat up Yankee employee George Costanza.

First off, at the ball park, posession
is 9/10's of the law. The only exception
to that is when a grown man rips the ball
out of some kids hand. In that case, he
should be beaten with his own shoes. If Minky
was smart enough to hold onto the ball and
have MLB authenticate it, then good for
him. he doesn't even have a job now, and
the 1 billion dollar Red Sox are busting
his balls over 100 g's???

In the aftermath of the Theo thing you
think they'd be just a little more sensitive
public relations wise...

I'm glad that somebody was able to successfully quote Indiana Jones.

Hey Lost fans, I just noticed on Drudge: A link for a couple of Lost stars slapped with a DUI.

(link's on Drudge, down on the right)

Lack of focus? There's talk on BDD of trading Nixon and Clement for Abreu.

Instead of trying to keep players who got the job done, let's piss it all away. Every team has weaknesses, and the Sox are surely no exception. But why are they trying to fix an outfield that isn't broken? Maybe the focus should be getting some more pitching?

No one's gonna care about the damn ball when we're ten games out of first by June, because Papi isn't getting anything good to hit and our opponents are lighting up our pitching staff like a Christmas tree. Spend some money on ballplayers (and getting back your GM) instead of memorabilia.

Neither Nixon nor Clement are all that hot...ok, Matty's not too bad at all and Nixon is above average, but Abreu is still a bit above him.

I'd love to see Abreu in RF. Doesn't seem to be injured and still puts up some decent numbers.

Minky's still at 1st if he did what Konerko did.

If Trot leaves, I'm done, he IS the Red Sox.

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