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And He Shall Purify the Sons of Larry

Argh. Going from Theo Epstein to Jim Beattie is like trading David Ortiz for Tony Womack.


Yeah, my only solace is in thinking the Globe story is full of shit. They haven't, you know, been a very reliable baseball news source of late.


Yep, according to Boras 7 years is a steal. At age 41 in 2015 Damon be ahead of both Ruth and Aaron in all-time runs.


Who the hell knew that Johnny the Jesus would have greatah careah longevity than Jesus the Jesus!


Well, see, if Jesus the Christ had a little less Judas and a little more Boras, it'd been a whole new ballgame in Judea.


"Hello Pontius Pilate? Good morning your excellency, Scott Boras here. I represent Jesus of Nazareth, and I've got 10-section, three-ring notebook I'd like to go over with you …"


Author's Notes
The title of today's post is a play off "And He Shall Purify The Sons of Levi," a song in Handel's The Messiah. And that is itself a reference to the Prophecy of Malachi (3:3): And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the LORD an offering in righteousness.


You sure you don't mean the Jim Beattie error?

Luscious should take heed of Numbers 19:20 (The Bible, not CHB numerology):

But the man that shall be unclean, and shall not purify himself, that soul shall be cut off from among the congregation, because he hath defiled the sanctuary of the LORD [author's note:h.b]: the water of separation hath not been sprinkled upon him; he is unclean.

Take that, bitches.

Yours in Christ


Seen on a bumpersticker:

Try Jesus. If you don't like him, the devil will always take you back.

I miss those old bumper stickers:

"Jesus Saves. But Espo Scores on the Rebound!"

The Nazareth Disciples acquired the young prospect, Jesus in the infamous Florida Marlins "fire sale" of AD 1.

Nazareth fleeced the Marlins, trading only Frankincense and Myrrh for the future Hall-of-Famer. (note: both Frankincense and Myrrh burned out the next season, after the Marlins sold them to the Mets for twenty donkey-carts filled with gold)

Alas, before the "Jesus-to-Nazareth" deal was done, the Marlins inquired if the New York Yankees would be interested in trading for young Jesus. The Yanks were obviously interested, but could not make a deal, citing Florida's outrageous demand that the Yankees build them a new stadium, and the fact that the Yanks had just committed to a multi-millennia deal with God himself.

Adding another millennia to that long-term handshake with God is the Yankees top priority this winter.


Boras needs to die.

It wasn't bad enough when he was destroying the game of baseball with his outrageous deal-making and player marketing...but to disgrace the name of Cal Ripken by saying JD is the next coming of him is absolutely disgusting!!

Cal Ripken (son AND father for that matter) sacrificed himself every year to keep the Orioles from being the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. He never chased after a rediculous contract. He lives a very inauspicious life. He built a stadium for kids to play little league. He could also throw. He was a 20 year All-Star, 2 time All-Star MVP, 2 time AL MVP, 2 time Gold Glover, Rookie of the Year, and held 11 different AL records at one time. I know Cal Ripken, Scott Boras; Johnny Damon is no Cal Ripken.

That being said, I like JD, but not enough to see him hobble out to center field with shoulder issues making his already gimp throw even worse. He's not healthy now and I don't see how 7 years is going to improve the issue.

Pilate: Salve, Deceivus Boras.

Boras: Proconsul Pilate, I understand the competition you face as the GM of Rome's Eastern Division. Strong willed native Jews (who think they have some kind of 1,000 year old claim on the place), Goths from the Balkans, the Parthians in Syria, who knows what coming from Southern Africa. Since the conquest of Gaul, this has clearly become the toughest division in the Empire.

Let me introduce you to the Answer to your problems, not just a five tool player...but an unlimited tool player.

I had a feeling Jason O would take off on today's theme. Now I'm kicking myself that I didn't use the Latin version the Malachi bit in the notes.

And I agree, as well, with Kaz's comment. As much as I like Johnny Damon and always will, the Boras stuff and comparisons with Ripken, Ruth, Aaron are in foul territory.

Kaz: "[Cal Ripken Jr.] could also throw."

High-larious - while I do love WWJDD, let's think about this:

His throwing motion already looks like someone right-handed attempting to throw with the left. Think people aren't running buck wild on him in 2012? Think he's still making it into the triangle?

Good ol' Boras, using the first rule of civil litigation: the more you ask for, the more you get. He should probably be seriously maimed in a fire.

Alright, I've sat by since the end of the season and watched things. I thought they were all going to unravel...losing Theo...but then the move to get that live young arm of Burnett's brought me some hope. Now this crap.

To carry the ancient analogy a little further, Larry is Nero, allegedly fiddling while the Old Town burns or if you prefer the barbarians, lead by Boras, are at the gates.

Besides, we have a DH, perhaps the greatest of all time, and I still think JD couldn't throw my sister out...even from left field.

Finally, a title reference I got without having to cheat and look it up. 6 years of particating in a Do-It-Yourself Messiah finally does me some good.

Favorite bumper sticker:

"Jesus Saves, Allah Protects, and Cthulhu Thinks You'd Make a Nice Sandwich."

Sorry, I know it has nothing to do with baseball, but I never miss a chance to give Lovecraft a shoutout.

I believe that Damon is big enough of a difference that the team that has him has the best shot at winning the division, next year. He's a good lead-off hitter and he had the best batting average on the Sox last season. I don't want the Yanks to pick him up, but I do think that he would tip the scales in the Yanks' favor.

Can Beckett have #18?

Lovecraft creeps me out. I like that.

Damon has been a leader both on and off the field for the last few years and has earned his place in hallowed Red Sox lore. He is an outstanding lead off hitter and makes some decent plays in the outfield. The one drawback is of course his arm, but nobody's perfect. I'd really like to see him back next season. But seven years? Give me a break Boras. The Sox would be better off stuck with TO for seven years than they would with JD.

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