Going with the grain

Doug:
Ain't no big thang … We'll bounce back.

 

---

Bill:
Wait a sec, what kind of Spock's beard mirror world have I been transported to? Doug Roy, our de rigueur pessimist, is upbeat aftah a 14-2 opening game smackdown in Chi Town?

 

---

Doug:
Yeah, I'm all Rosy the Rivetah ovah heah thinking the beat down was the perfect staht … I mean what happened the last time the Red Sox lost by a double-digit margin in a postseason game? I'm just sayin' …

 

---

Bill:
Yeah, well pahdon me if beat my head on the wall a few more hours this morning trying to figure out 1) How Matt Clement got the staht in the first place and 2) Why he was left in so long when he was throwing so much gahbage he now owes a kickback to the Gambino crime family.

 

---

Doug:
Ah, you know Tito, he's loyal to his rostah and wants to give everyone a chance.

 

---

Bill:
Yeah, that's all well in good, but we're not talking about, you know, something trivial like nominating a Supreme Court Justice. You actually need a good track record and experience to pitch in the postseason. Clement had neithah.

 

---

Doug:
Guess we now know why Clement was riding the bench when he was with the Cubbies and the games were on the line.

 

---

Bill:
So it's up to the David Foamy Gel Wells tonight.

 

---

Doug:
I love it when Posada says, "You can't see it, you can't feel it, you can't smell it …"

 

---

Bill:
Yeah, something that can't be detected by human senses yet can help in "improving both his grip and the movement of his pitches." Somebody should call in the FBI. This could have military applications.

 

---

S

Comments

[Follower of Tito]

...or a psychiatrist...or a medium...actually Jughead needs the shrink the most. When we ask a patients are there things they hear that others can't that are especially ment for them, and they answer yes, that's usually followed by a big dose of Haldol.

Boys will get them back. Tito did the wisest thing possible in a bad situation and saved Papelbon and Timlin for a game that counts. I am down with moving Clement to the pen and giving Papelbon or Bronson a chance at a start. I saw Jonathan on his first start...he may be ready to take a start in post-season.

[RonF]

When I saw the hover tag over the link that says, "Yankees accuse Wells of using shaving cream on balls", I had to click through to make sure we're talking baseballs here ....

I mean, I figure Wells will try anything.

I was at the game last night. Great seats with a bunch of other Red Sox fans who got tickets because they know someone who knows someone. Half-way between 1st base and the outfield wall and 9 rows from the field. Much bitching about the pitching choices being made by Tito. We couldn't figure out why he even finished the 1st, never mind got left in to give up 3 more later. There were some pretty loud outs that should have been a warning.

During our one rally, we all stood up and started chanting "Let's go Red Sox", and someone had brought some rally beads. Now, I expected to get booed and yelled at by the White Sox fans. What I didn't expect was for someone to charge up the aisle and start yelling at people and pointing and waving. Not good. Security showed up in the innings afterwards, but someone should have put that guy back in his seat. To their credit, a couple of White Sox fans came by later and said they were sorry that happened.

Given it was their first home post-season win since 1959, I guess we can expect some over-reaction. I reminded the White Sox fans that the Red Sox lost a couple like that last year, and in fact were even down 0-3 and 3 outs from elimination at one point. Another White Sox fan noted to me today that this was how the 1959 Series started out, only to end 4 games later with a Dodgers win.

Tomorrow (actually, today) will be another day.

[RedSauce]

I hate to say this, but the best Wells can come up with in response is "They give signs, they give locations, they use pine tar on their bats"? None of which is illegal...not a good sign that the big guy's not using the gel. Better than 'roids I guess.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

Posada is a moron. That's all there is to say. The guy actually raises pitchers' ERAs when he's calling signals. If it weren't for timely hitting the guy would be finishing out his "stellar yankee career" in Columbus. He and Bernie should move in together after the season. His "You can't see it, you can't feel it, you can't smell it, but it's there" comments remind me of Nigel Tufnel's in the deleted scenes from This is Spinal Tap:

"The japanese have a saying, right, that 'a calm ocean is an ocean of troubles, but a wavy ocean, that can also be trouble'. Innit? It's like, you think they've tricked you, and then they have."

[COD]

I think Wells is playing it up to piss off Posada. If the Yankees are worried enough about it to speak out publicly, what does Wells have to lose by trying to get into their heads even more? Any mental or physical effort a Yankee is expending in the batters box trying to see the transfer of shaving cream to the ball is effort not expended on being ready to hit.

[pudge]

I agree with George Will about Bush's custodianship of the Constitution. I am still pissed at Bush about signing McCain-Feingold too. He signed it only because he thought it would be overturned by the court, and then it wasn't. Not sure who to be more pissed off at: the Congress for passing it, the President for signing it, or the Court for letting it stand.

But as to Miers specifically, I don't have my panties in a wedge about it. Maybe she's very good. I agree that we should have a very thorough vetting and confirmation process, but we should have that for all SCOTUS nominees. No biggie. I was unsure about Roberts before the hearings, and I loved him after the hearings (which I watched most of). Maybe it will be the same with Miers.

That she is a friend of Bush matters not at all to me. I'm a conservative Republican -- which means I am not a huge fan of Bush, but I voted for him anyway -- but I had no problem with Clinton's hiring of all his friends either. Or JFK's. Or LBJ's. He's the President, let him hire who he wants to.

So I'm not really concerned. What does bother me is the possibility that she was nominated because she's a woman. With no specific apologies to Laura Bush or Justice O'Connor, that's bullshit. There's too few people on the Supreme Court, and its membership too important, to dick around with social engineering on it.

[pudge]

Oh, and as to the Sox: nothing like blowouts in Foxboro and Fenway to get me longing even more for the BRUINS season opener tonight!

[Rob]

My Fellow Yankee fans,

As Major League Baseball has deemed our beloved Bronx Bombers unfit for primetime TV tonight, (ugh, a 10pm start) let's explore our viewing options on the East Coast:

At 7pm on ESPN, there's a baseball game between the 2nd rate cities of Chicago and Boston. Whatever. New York Yankee fans chose between red and white wines, not "sox"[sic].

Between 8pm and 10pm CBS presents the following programs: "Still Standing," "Yes, Dear" and "Criminal Minds." I haven't seen these shows, and given their poor ratings I suspect most Yankee fans haven't. But how many of us woke up this morning and said, "Yes, Dear" the Yankees are "Still Standing" thanks to the "Criminal Minds" of Joe Torre and Mel Stottlemyre (who gambled and won big on Mike Mussina and on Al Leiter getting those crucial outs last night)!!!

At 8pm on NBC there's a new show called "E-Ring." I'm not sure what that stands for, but in Yankee circles an "E-Ring" is the championship jewelry worn by the 1986 Mets thanks to Mr. Bill Buckner's crucial "E" -- the "E"-licious error that haunts Red Sox fans to this day.

At 9pm on NBC it's "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart." Tonight's task is to bake a cake and sell it. Sorry, Martha. Unless it's Anaheim Angel-food cake you're serving, Yankee fans will "pass" on the baked goodies this evening.

At 8pm on Fox there's "So You Think You Can Dance." The final two dancers are competing for a grand prize of $100,000 and a NYC apartment for a year. By sheer coincidence, that is precisely what the Yankees are giving Aaron Small for his incredible 10 wins and 0 losses this season.

At 9pm, Fox presents "Nanny 911." Tonight four kids ages 4 to 12 yell, taunt, and get physical with each other. They should call this episode "Happy Hour at Fenway Park."

At 8pm on UPN it's "America's Next Top Model." If there is any "reality" in "reality TV" this show would be called "Who Wants To Be Derek Jeter's Next Girlfriend?"

More cultured Yankee fans like, say, Senator Hillary Clinton, will flip to PBS at 8pm. It's "Great Performances: From Shtetl to Swing" hosted by Harvey Fierstein. With all due respect to the Jewish influence on American popular culture, the only "Great Performances" that will capture the attention of Yankee fans tonight will be delivered by Chien Ming Wang, Alex Rodriguez, Hideki Matsui, etc. etc.

At 9pm, ABC presents the best reason to start the Yankee game at 10pm: "Lost." This is a fantastic show and the Yanks pre-game show on YES is going to lose viewers going up against it. Tonight, as reported in USA Today, "Lost" will provide a "mythological extravaganza"... answering who the man in the hatch is, how he got there, and what he's doing there."

That's great, but as obsessed with "Lost" as many Yankee fans are, we would be more obsessed if this show was called "Won" (which I guess could also be called "Yankee Classics"). And as fascinated as I am with that mysterious guy "down the hatch," I'm more fascinated in the Yankee "mythological extravaganza" known as the MLB playoffs. Here's hoping our rookie pitching savior, Chien Ming Wang will answer "how he got there, and what he's doing there." Don't go down the hatch, Mr. Wang!

Finally, at 9pm HBO presents great advice for Yankee fans: "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

We haven't won anything yet.

As for tonight's "TV viewing pleasure," I suggest you put on a pot of coffee and enjoy watching the Yankees primetime players shine on late night TV!

[Bob]

//New York Yankee fans chose between red and white wines, not "sox"[sic].//

Oh, right. Every Yankee fan I've ever seen is about 300 pounds, with a gold chain around his thick neck and so much product in his hair you'd think David Wells rubbed his cream-hands through it. The only red and white they ever choose between is pasta sauces.

[highinside]

Maybe Wellsy is rubbing radon on the ball if you can't feel it,see it, smell it.

[NV in SD]

That was the longest- winded waste of space I have ever seen here. Fortunately, I stopped reading after "My Fellow Yankee fans". Obviously Rob has lost his way on the internet. Just hit that little "x" in the upper right corner Rob, and everything will be ok.

The only thing MAtty's start last night did for me was make me wonder why we didn't go hard after Mulder or Hudson during the offseason. Like I said yesterday- horseshit meatballs from Pitch One. I'm not too sure I'm comfortable with "Boomah as Savior" but it'll have to do for tonight.

RE: Whore-hay's accusations.
Boy, we sure have come a long way since "mystique and aura" huh? First it's Slappy McBluelips and his antics on one of the biggest stages in baseball. Then it's the entire organization crying about the "Showalter Conspiracy". Now it's "You can't see it, you can't feel it, you can't smell it …". Gimme a fuckin break. Stop being a bunch of sissy bitches and STFU already.

pudge- insightful analysis, but not here, not now, please.

[Kaz]

Here's a little reminder of how this could easily go:

http://eatthat.ytmnd.com/

(may need to use Internet Explorer to listen to the embedded sound...trust me, it's worth it)

[Aaron]

I think Fatboy will be alright. We all know he lives for high-pressure games like this. Same with Schilling; even though his stuff is nowhere near what it was last year, you know he'll turn it up another notch for his start. Clement, however, should not have any more starts. Arroyo would be the obvious choice for a Game 5 if we need it.

As for DubYa's Court nominee: let's all of us, right and left, join hands and fervently pray that the rest of the SCOTUS members manage to live until at least January, 2009. I mean, Christ, who would his next nominee be? His mailman? His dog? His pet rock?

[pawsoxpop]

An old catcher died in the batter's box; he struck out and did not get a hit. He whined and complained 'bout the pitcher, but his comments were loaded with shaving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen. (Clarinet line here)

[pawsoxpop]

As for nominees, I'm just waiting to hear W's rationale when Greenspan retires and he nominates his brother Neil to run the Federal Reserve. "My brother demonstrated his ability to handle a financial crisis when he ran the Silverado Savings and loan."

[pudge]

Aaron: Roberts was a great candidate. The only reason as many Democrats voted against him as did is because they know they are running for office and don't want to piss off their reactionary left base (like here in WA where Senator Murray, who was not up for election, voted for him, while Senator Cantwell, who is up for election next year, voted against; both are about as far left as you can get in the Senate).

And how could you know Miers is a bad candidate? You know next to nothing about her. You just hear people bashing her, and they don't know anything about her either. Think for yourself, man.

[jimindenver]

pop gets the award for making me nearly ruin a keyboard today. I haven't thought of that song in a long time. I'm going to be humming it to myself all day now. Thanks!

[pawsoxpop]

As for the Supreme Court, I wish he'd nominate Dale Sveum so he would be unable to do any real damage in this country anymore. But FoT, I'm with you about last night. By the time the first inning was over, you might as well leave him in and hope he settles down. When he doesn't, you don't want a situation where you waste Papelbon or Timlin. Just eat up the innings and get ready to win the next one. I agree with you that Papes or maybe Bronson should start Game 5 if needed. Mr. Clement needs a headshrinker to get rid of his PostJulyphobia. Either that or a radar dish on his cap to help him find home plate...

[h.b.]

I think Clement needs to mix things up. Maybe shave that facial hair off, the weight of which must be effecting his mechanics.

[pawsoxpop]

Hey Jim,
Thanks for the kind words. I knew at least one other Soxaholic out there would appreciate the Great Benny Bell, especially given Mr. Posada's great lead-in for "Shaving Cream"....I think Georgie senses his baseball career is winding down and he's preparing to enter the radio field as a vacation replacement for Dr. Demento...

[JimmyZ]

Cut the political bloviating. This is a RED SOX site. My morning is bad enough without having to come to my favorite Daily and have to selectively read through your ill-informed partisan rants.

And what the hell was that MFY/TVGuide spew?

Godspeed You Red Emperor!

[Follower of Tito]

You know, I wasn't as surprised by Doug's reaction as Bill was for 2 reasons:

1) Anything our boys do this season, to me at least, is gravy...makes you almost Zen in a way

2) We have been down this particular road last year...I know, not exactly the same bunch as The 25, but the core is there, now we need the pitching.

I am more inclined to put Papelbon as a starter for game 5 (if needed) over Arroyo as the kid simply has better stuff and has shown seasoning beyond his years.

Don't get me wrong, I still want the boys to go all the way, but it just doesn't have the same sense of "life-or-death" as it did years past.

[pudge]

JimmyZ: if you are referring to me, I doubt you could actually point out a way in which, regarding politics, I am ill-informed. Not that I'm not, I just doubt you could show it.

But worse, h.b. often references politics. Whatever he mentions in his comics is fair game here, as far as I can tell. Realizing some people are over-sensitive about such things, I separate out the non-Sox content from the Sox content in my replies, making it easier for you to just skip the content you don't like. Unless h.b. directs otherwise, that's as far as I am willing to accommodate you.

But should we ever meet, I will buy you a beer.

[h.b.]

Yes, regarding politics, we have to blame the character "Bill" who opened the can of worms by alluding to the Miers nomination.

It's true that this isn't a political blog, yet it's also true that the characters often reference politics in their dialog.

And while I wouldn't want the comments to turn into an episode of Crossfire or the like, I do think that when the characters mention something, it's fair game for commenting.

Same goes for the pop culture references to TV, music, tatoos, naked old guys with inflated nut sacks, hot protest babes, etc.

[pudge]

h.b.: re Crossfire, no worries here ... I wouldn't engage in a flamewar on your site over politics. I save that for other web sites. :-)

[pudge]

Speaking of wars, various forces of evil are attempting to remove the explanation of why the Red Sox are not getting AL East champs recognition by the MLB.

[JimmyZ]

pudge et al,
my comments weren't a put down on your percieved political prowess as much as a cry to cut the crap with the political ping pong.
I agree that the strip can open a can of worms for subjects other than that of sox worship. My impression with today's clipart dialogue is that it barely glanced over the Miers mire, simply looking for a chuckle - not a discussion.
Beer accepted, and a Harpoon IPA back at ya!
Go Crimson Hose!

[h.b.]

that it barely glanced over the Miers mire, simply looking for a chuckle - not a discussion

That is a good way to put it.

The characters, too, are always playing off that notion that "nothing is more important that the Red Sox" so they'll find ways to be sarcastic about stuff like SCOTUS nominees.

[buckner was framed]

to paraphrase Dan Aykroyd, "Pudge, you ignorant slut"... No argument on Roberts- he seems to be the real deal, but Miers seems to be as qualified a Supreme Court justice as Matt Clement is a game 1 starter.... I think Aaron's tongue-in-cheek comments were appropriate. The job is too damn important to be awarded a crony who's major qualification is that she wears a skirt.... But I'll take you up on the beer offer, too- or I'll buy the next round at Farfar's

[Aaron]

Pudge, if you get a chance, come down to Seattle some time and catch a Sox game at Floyd's. I'm pretty sure the entire "New Englander In Exile" population of western Washington gathers at that bar on game days. Folks of all political stripes, united in their mutual love of the Sox; it's a beautiful thing to behold. And if it happens to be a day when the Sox are in town, we then proceed down to Safeco and outshout the Mariners fans in their own stadium.

No New England beers on tap, unfortunately, although they did have 22 oz. bottles of Allagash last year for a few weeks. Mmmmm.....Allagash.

[NV in SD]

I agree with JimmyZ on this one. I stop by every morning when I get to work to feel the pulse, to bitch about good things gone bad, to celebrate good fortune, and to start my day off with some of H.B.'s patented brand of humah. Understood that anything that the characters comment on is fair game, but when it comes to politics, the conversation tends to mutate into a whole new diatribe about Rove and Miers and who's fucking who (well maybe not that last part). I come here mostly because have been transplanted to the other side of the country, and this is one of the few places on the web that I enjoy conversing about all things Red Sox, because that's the last thing most basseball "fans" out here want to hear about.

Just wanted to give my $.02. I mean it is the PLAYOFFS after all...

[pudge]

"Miers seems to be as qualified a Supreme Court justice as Matt Clement is a game 1 starter"

Perhaps. But we don't know that yet. I imagine we'll find out ... Senators on both sides will not give her anything resembling a free pass. I look forward to the carnage. :-)

The job is too damn important to be awarded a crony who's major qualification is that she wears a skirt....

Her major qualifications are actually more impressive than Roberts'. She has a very impressive resume.

But I'll take you up on the beer offer, too- or I'll buy the next round at Farfar's

Mmmmmm ... Farfar's ...

Aaron: maybe I will sometime soon, depending on how things shake out. Not today though.

[Kaz]

pudge, you're wrong at wikipedia. We didn't get our 6th divison crown this year. We lost the division based on the rules of the game. Please stop trying to force the "could be" language on the page, because that's opinion and not factual. An account of the tie record is factual. Getting the Wild Card is factual. Claiming some right to the shared division is not factual. I love the Sox but they didn't win the division this year. I also love wikipedia because of its utility and methodology and I'd hate to see untruths creep into *any* entry just because of opinion or bias or any other reason that may come up.

[Billy Mahty]

SNL did a great spoof on the fantastic candidate Roberts:

http://movies.crooksandliars.com/snl-judge-roberts-spoof.wmv

As long as Miers says she's going to respect the rule of law and that she can't comment on anything specific, she's fine in my book. (That's sarcasm.)

[pawsoxpop]

Hey I just thought of something. Posada has no way of knowing whether Wells is doing anything illegal NOW, but he and the anonymous "former yankee" quoted by Newsday are admiting that he cheated when he was with the Yankees. Are they willing to turn in any championship rings and/or World Series share money they might have won during those years? Or is cheating okay as long as you're wearing the pinstripes? What hypocrites.

[NYSoxfan]

Maybe the shaving cream is the open secret that got Wells tested three times (by his count) for steroids? Screw Selig and screw Ozzie Guillen. Just win Crimson Hose, just win!! 1917 chants are beneath us...

[Billy Mahty]

At least it didn't seem like Posada or the GBYs are actually complaining about Wells. But I think Jorge shouldn't have talked about it. No sense fanning flames or causing distractions this time of year.

[pudge]

pudge, you're wrong at wikipedia. We didn't get our 6th divison crown this year.

Bullshit.

We lost the division

We didn't.

based on the rules of the game.

The rules are clearly wrong. If Selig decreed that a home run doesn't count after a team is already up by five runs, that would be an incorrect rule too, and I would ignore it.

Please stop trying to force the "could be" language on the page

Bite me.

Claiming some right to the shared division is not factual.

Actually, yes, it is. The Sox won the AL East this year, period. An assertion to the contrary is based on abject ignorance.

[pudge]

Billy Mahty: the SNL spoof was only "great" if you didn't actually watch the hearings, and only listened to what left-wingers said about them. If you did watch the hearings, you'd know that the spoof didn't actually have any bearing whatsoever on reality ...

[newenglandfan08]

i really do think I'm in the twilight zone right now, i can;t take all this being nice to the team when they screw up

If this was any other season or game we new englander would be mad as heck, and in our hand would be the throat of the red soxs.

yes we won last year but don't we want to win this year too. Doug and h.b. come to your sense

[Billy Mahty]

pudge - leave me alone in my "reality-based community," please. i'll leave you to create your own realities.

[Sammy]

//sox won the AL East this year..." Pudge, are you mental? btw, down 0-2 as of five seconds ago does not scare me. we will win this series.

[newenglandfan08]

yeha it dosent scar eme btu at least somebody get pissed about it, i mean it just uncalled for

[Kaz]

Actually, yes, it is. The Sox won the AL East this year, period. An assertion to the contrary is based on abject ignorance.

No, they didn't. An assertion to the contrary is based on abject ignorance.

See how easy it is to attempt to marginalize the opposing view in order to feign justification for your own?

To declare them AL East champs is nowhere in the vicinity of lucid discussion. So rail at the world, it's not going to change the fact that we won the Wild Card.

[NYSoxfan]

Not pretty... but I guess 0-2 is what this team needed to wake up. Slackers...

[pudge]

Bill Mahty: you're the one who brought it up. If you can't handle someone disagreeing with you, then keep your yap shut ...

[pudge]

To declare them AL East champs is nowhere in the vicinity of lucid discussion.

Um, they are. They had the best record. In baseball, that means they are the champs.

[Kaz]

No, they shared the best record with the Yankees. Since there can be no tie for first place in the division, the decision for which sits above the other is decided by in-season team vs. team record. The Yankees beat us in 10 games and lost to us in 9 games. Since they won more than they lost against us, they have won the division. We have won the wild card.

If you're not going to post anything more than your simple and wrong-headed assertion that we somehow beat the Yankees this year for the division lead...then you're just trolling and that's not lucid discussion.

Ignore all of the rules in baseball that you want to ignore for your own happy place, but that doesn't change the *reality* the rest of us live in that you claim to be reporting from.

In this reality, we're losing by 2 games to Chicago in a best-of-five...something that can only come about by being the Wild Card and not the AL East division leader you claim us to be. Fit that into your preposterous positioning before you continue on.

[pudge]

No, they shared the best record with the Yankees.

Right.

Since there can be no tie for first place in the division

There is, since the division cannot be decided by a silly tiebreaker.

If you're not going to post anything more than your simple and wrong-headed assertion that we somehow beat the Yankees this year for the division lead

I neither stated nor implied any such thing.

Ignore all of the rules in baseball that you want to ignore for your own happy place, but that doesn't change the *reality* the rest of us live in that you claim to be reporting from.

I am not ignoring the rules. I am saying a rule is wrong. The rule as written assumes that the only purpose of the division title is to determine who goes to the playoffs, and the seeding there. That is implicit in the current rules, as written. But that is incorrect, so therefore the rule is incorrect.

In this reality, we're losing by 2 games to Chicago in a best-of-five...something that can only come about by being the Wild Card

Again with the unreasonable assumptions. I never said or implied we didn't have the Wild Card.

[Message Board]

the tournament fans a fad that has Message Board http://www.burnandturn.com Message Board been growing in Wichita.