Girls Gone Wild

Susan/Circle:
Grrrrrrrrrr …

 

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Mike:
Red Sox rocked by Toronto. Yankees crush Tampa Bay. Mike runs with scissors.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Lead slips to two and a half. I am bound in rope made from my own sinew.

 

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Mike:
Tell me this season isn't going to come down to a one game playoff.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Ah, c'mon, you can do bettah than that. Let your pessimism think outside the fucking box. Imagine a five way tie, where the Red Sox, New York, Cleveland, Los Anaheim, and Oakland all end up with the same record.

 

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Mike:
Christ, you're right. My doomism and gloomism just hasn't been the same since the World Series.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Well, what do you expect? You lost your identity for fuck's sake. But your real problem is you're not reading enough Sox chick blogs.

 

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Mike:
Ah, this is brilliant: " I don't know what to say about Edgar. I don't know that I've ever actually seen someone throw the ball, on a relay, directly at the ground before. That was special. Special like a tiny, tiny kitten with one eye and extra toes and a smashed-up persian-style face so its tongue is always sticking out and it's drooling."

 

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Susan/Circle:
I'm tellin' ya, the bitches represent.

 

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Author's Notes

Susan's line, "I am bound in rope made from my own sinew" is taken from Steven Cramer's poem "Singer" out of his suberb collection "Goodbye to the Orchard: Poems.".

Comments

[Bob]

You know, most games when the Sox fall behind early, I get a feeling that anything could still happen. That we'll slowly make a comeback and then rain a crapload of pain on the opposing team in the 8th or 9th. But last night, I had no such mojo going on. The team was flat-out flat, and the game was over almost before it began. Forget the walkoff homer that beats the Sox in extra innings -- last night's game is the kind that makes me drink too much. Oh, by the way, BigBri has infested Surviving Grady. A few of us have already outed him as the fraud he is, but he's like that one-eyed kitten; one you've seen him somewhere, it makes you sick to your stomach for awhile.

[beth]

the sox chick bloggers thank you for the mad props, sir.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

One again, cruel fate makes me regret my ill-conceived comments (about being in the "anything can happen" camp). I probably should have said being down by 4 in the 6th doesn't instill the same confidence.

Hopefully things will right themselves tonight - the Sox will crush the Jays, as they should, and the Rays will crush the spanks, as *they* should.

[Boston Fan in Michigan]

*note to self: more kitten analogies*

I root for the Tigers as well as the Red Sox. I assure you, it helps a great deal in keeping my perspective level. There's a special kind of despair that comes from numerous consecutive seasons under .500, and the Sox have not yet achieved that happy event. Be not sad, Sox fans.

[Kaz]

Along the lines of Boston Fan in MI, I present to you, the Baseball Prospectus odds at the post-season:

http://www.baseballprospectus.com/statistics/ps_odds.php

Given our record until now, the location of our remaining games, the teams we must play and our collective season record against them, and throw in a dash of "how'd-ya-figure-that-odd"....

We're 87% likely to go to the post-season. Most of that coming from holding the division as opposed to taking the WC.

Be not sad, Sox fans. :)

[Kaz]

BTW, you forgot that the cat also has mange....and the runs...

That really adds the color that lets me get to know the cat.

[oy]

There's a worse scenario: the Yankees win the East and Cleveland wins wild card.

[pudge]

Kaz: I've seen us beat odds tougher than those before. Like in '78. And '04. Odds mean shit, especially in the Fens.

[NV in SD]

The good- Ortiz (again- this guy has no bounds)
The bad- Matty got shelled big time, though he managed to stitch together a productive 3rd and 4th innings
The ugly- the return of June's Foulke plus his comments in the postgame interview. "It's all about me." Are you fucking shitting me?!

Chalk it up as a hiccup for Matty last night, because he's definitely been pitching much better of late. It looked like we were gonna make some late inning magic after Papi's blast but then, as Blue Jays continued to cross the plate, it turned into a lost cause. I almost wish Hinskie woulda charged the mound. Maybe some sort of actual competetive fire would've been lit under Foulke's ass if he had a few haymakers thrown his way. Fucking guy- is that what we're to expect the rest of the way when he pitches consecutive days?

Paging Dr. Hansen. Dr. Hansen, please report to the Big Club.

[oy]

The Sox beat the odds in 1978? Are you talking about the four-game shelling or the one-game playoff?

[Kaz]

Odds are just that...odds. If it's not a zero, then there's a chance. It worked that way for us last year in the ALCS, but if that series is played a million times simultaneously starting at game 4...we lose most of those million times. That's all it says.

Odds don't mean the team gets to slack off, but they do mean the fans can take pride that what the team has provided so far suggests greater things to come.

[pawsoxpop]

So we lost and they won. There will be days when we win and they lose. Bottom line: with 18 games to play our magic number is 17; with 19 games to play, their magic number is 22. I still like our chances, especially with the last three games at home (although I don't think it will come to that). As for Foulke's comments, he obviously didn't make it to the big leagues because he's a great public speaker. Let's just hope he can relocate his stuff and then nobody will care what he says when there's a microphone in his face.

[NYSoxfan]

indeed, the odds were surely overwhelming that the Sox wouldn't come back from 0-3 last season. I'll take an 80 pct chance of winning the AL East and sleep just fine... meanwhile, anyone up for starting a petition calling for the demolition of Rogers Center aka Skydome from Hell?!? OK, we'll just take down all MLB parks with Astroturf to show our love for the game. Sox are now 6-11 on the godforesaken turf...

[Jason O.]

It's advisable in this situation to be sure you unlock the sliding, clear plastic cover of the panic button.

Just in case....you don't want to be fumbling for the keys in the Oakland series. It's like those Cold War movies: It takes 2 Red Sox fans to turn each key simultaneously.

(But beware: I pressed it in early May, and I still don't know the results)

[h.b.]

I love the Cold Water missile launch sequence reference.

On my list of things to do is an entry to visit that missile silo that's been turned into a museum out in Montanta or Wyoming or someplace.

I think I've seen every B-Movie with a Cold War theme from the 50s and 60s at least twice. It's a rather morbid fascination, really. Then again, until recently, you could say the same thing about my Red Sox rooting.

[Kaz]

Of course, h.b., if it so moved you, you could so move in:

http://www.missilebases.com/new/

$2.3 million and it could all be your's.

[Jason O.]

Submarine movies are a particular favorite from this genre:
Run Silent, Run Deep
Grey Lady Down
Das Boot (not cold war, but the best sub movie ever)
Red October
Ice Station Zebra
Crimson Tide
The Enemy Below (not cold war, but Robert Mitchum is the fucking man)
The Bedford Incident

[h.b.]

That would be pretty cool!

[h.b.]

Sub movies are my fave of the genre, too.

Indeed, I don't think there have been enough sub movies made.

Two others you didn't include:

+ K-19, The Widowmaker, which was suberb.

+ Aronofsky's "Below" which is more of a sci-fi/supernatural vehicle than a traditional war movie, is also quite fine.

Oh, and then there's Operation Petticoat. :)

[Bob]

Kirk Douglas. James Mason. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea. The cheesiest sub movie ever. (Does that make it a cheese sub? [Cue drummer])

[Jason O.]

Right, k-19 was good, particularly when Liam Neeson;s character suddenly turns and comes to the Captain's defense during the near mutiny. Good, unexpected plot twist.
And those radiation scenes, a cringe festival.

[beth]

//Odds are just that...odds. If it's not a zero, then there's a chance.//

so let's freak out! :-)

[phil]

Re Cold War submarines. The reality is closer than you think. There is a Russian submarine, circa 1965, docked in Providence and open to the public. Its's interior was also used in the filming of (the awful) K-19.

[h.b.]

Didn't know about this USSR ex-sub. Any details? It's a boomer? Must either be a diesel or a former nuke with the reactor cut out and removed and the hull welded back together.

I really enjoyed K19.

Meanwhile, way off Red Sox topic, from what I gather, submarines are going to be as important or more so in the days ahead as they were during the Cold War in terms of military strategy. Lots of super quiet diesels are coming online now with China which will start the whole hide and seek thing up full time again.

[pawsoxpop]

Very good book on Cold War submarine spying is "Blind Man's Bluff" -- let's hope Boomer makes the BlueJays look like blind men swinging at air tonight.

[h.b.]

Very good book on Cold War submarine spying is "Blind Man's Bluff"

Blinds Man's Bluff is suberb! One of my fave non-fiction books of all time.

Related excellent reading:

+ One Hell of a Gamble: Khrushchev, Castro, and Kennedy, 1958-1964

+ Rig Ship for Ultra Quiet

Told ya I'm sort of a buff in this historical era. If this is a Jeopardy cat, I run it.