Double the pleasure or double the trouble?

Bill:
Ah, Christ, a rainout followed by a double-headah the last week of the season while a half a game back in a pennant race?

 

---

Doug:
Have double doses of Xanax and Vioxx on the standby, it's a pharmaceutical company's wet dream.

 

---

Bill:
Somebody ring up Alan Greenspan and tell him to prep the Fed for a decrease in workah productivity in the Northeast beginning at 1pm.

 

---

Doug:
OSHA needs to issue an emergency memorandum advising employahs to secure sharp objects from offices and warning foreman not to let guys with B's on their hahd hats operate backhoes or other heavy equipment while the game is in progress.

 

---

Bill:
On the bright side, Schilling nevah wahmed up last night, so he'll be fresh as a daisy for his 7:05 staht tonight.

 

---

Doug:
And by "fresh" you of course mean an ankle held together with staples and prayers, diminished velocity, and mental anguish with a side of emotional turmoil?

 

---

Bill:
You know, I really empathize with Schilling and generally love it when the sports writahs give us those human interest, family angle pieces, but I so did not need to hear Shonda Schilling's dismal report from the home front just now.

 

---

Doug:
Are you kidding me? It's like being on a stricken airlinah about to make an emergency landing and as you assume the crash pahstchah the woman sitting next to you blurts out, "My husband is the pilot and he's totally fucked up ovah losing his pilot skills. He hates himself. And his fathah's dead, too." Jesus, lady, not now, OK?

 

---

Bill:
If Shonda wants to help, she ought to track down the wife or girlfriend of the playah making the disparaging remahks about Curt getting off easy for not being booed and kick the shit out of her.

 

---

Doug:
You know, what this season lacks is a good catfight.

 

---

Comments

[MemphiSox]

Wonder who made the comments.... sounds like something Millar would say. He's been slipping farther off his rocker this year and he's certainly bitter about catching hell all season... thoughts?

[h.b.]

Rumor has it Manny is the one.

More at SoSH.

[Jason O.]

I'm seeing it all come together: The Red Sox official "excuse" if the season does not end as planned.

1) Globe writer: The Sox are "injury plagued survivalists." Do you mean like Eric Rudolph, bombing shit and hiding in the Appalachians?

2) Theo Epstein this AM: Draws a clear analogy between the Yankees and the Sox in terms of injuries. It goes something like: Oh yeah, the Yankees have had a lot of injuries, but we lost our best pitcher and our best closer...sniff, sniff.

(OK, I added the sniffs)

Sorry, YGTE**: You knew that CS would miss at least 30-60 days well before the season began. You can sell that "we're in the same boat with the Yankees in terms of injuries" to the tourists.

Nice try, though, and a good tactic to set up the injuries excuse.
The only problem is, what happens to the validity of this excuse if the Yankees win the division? (of course, by no means a foregone conclusion)

**Young Genius Theo Epstein

[h.b.]

I don't really see Theo Epstein as an excuse making kind of guy. If anything, I expect he'll take the blame if the season doesn't end well.

And I don't think he'll dwell on it, either. He'll just pick up the pieces and begin preparing for 2006 and beyond.

[Bob]

Schilling says the player was "someone who's not wired right." My guesses are Manny, followed by Faulke.

[h.b.]

What about Damon?

[yazgoesbacklookingupitsgone]

I read the quote about Pedro and thought, "Hmmm, it would have to be someone who has gotten his share of grief over on and off-field actions, was friends with Pedro and saw what he had gone through over multiple seasons, and who was dissed by Schill in the past."
Based on that albeit limited profile, I believe it was Manny. My only reservation is would Manny be cagey enough to tell a reporter his comments were not for attribution?
But beyond that, so what?
Rightly or wrongly, Schill has gotten a relatively free ride this year. Whoever said it was right on the money.

[Jason O.]

HB: Come on: This "injuries" balloon that Epstein floated this AM looked really dumb, simply because it was in response to a question: "Given the Yankees injuries, shouldn't you have put them away?" To come right back with "Oh, but we've been injured too" makes no sense.

Think like Sherlock Holmes:
Who probably feels he has been treated the worst by the city/fans/media? Who, therefore, has the most incentive to cause trouble? Who also enjoys a reputation as soft spoken guy, thereby setting up a plausible denial?

Purely on the basis of motive: Renteria

[NewtonNephew]

I don't believe it was Manny. It doesn't seem like his style, and he barely talks to the press at all. My money's on Damon, who's already bickered with Schilling, and who was fond of Pedro. I like Johnny D, but it just sounds like him for some reason.

[Kellen]

I'm sorry, but I can't feel too bad for Schilling. First of all, in the Herald, the player only asks why Schilling gets a free pass and other players, especially Pedro didn't. That seems to be a fair question. Also that seems to be more critical of fans than Schilling himself.

And I seem to remember Schilling never having a problem attacking other players. Last year in Yankee Stadium Scott Williamson needed to come out when his elbow didn't feel right, and it was widely reported Schilling called him a pussy for not pitching through it? Williamson was told a few days later he would probably need a second Tommy John surgery because his elbow was so bad. If that is indeed how things went down then that is much, much worse than what Schilling's been "called out" for.

[Bob]

//Purely on the basis of motive: Renteria//

Don't think so. From every report I've read/heard, Edgah is universally liked and admired by players, management, and even the press. Evidentally a class act (in the locker room, if not on the field).

[Jason O.]

Bob, I will concede that everyone thinks he's a great guy....he still has the highest motivation of anyone on the team to cause trouble.

[h.b.]

Jason,

That seems a perfectly reasonable answer from Epstein.

The way I see it, it's remarkable the Red Sox and, yes, the Yankees, have kept pace with each other with all the injuries. I guess that a testament to how shitty the rest of the division is.

Not as one of the characters talking but as me talking, I never expected the Red Sox to be in the spot they're in right now, let alone put anyone away.

I'm surprised as all hell that the Yankees have put together such a strong streak when, for the first time in years, their roster doesn't scare me in the least.

At the beginning of the season I expected Toronto to be much more in the running and I expected both the Sox and Yanks to miss the playoffs.

Don't really need any excuses or scapegoats. It is what it is.

Hat tip to the Yankees for kicking ass as they've done.

[NV in SD]

1. Personal turmoil this year
2. Struggling professionally
3. Was also a post-season hero last year
4. Getting the worst of the boo-birds
5. No longer in the clubhouse
6. (Admittedly) Hates Boston

Gotta be Foulke. Manny's too aloof to make any comments like that. JD knows better than to disrupt team chemistry at this point in the season (same with Millar). No way it's Rent- how is he making comments about last year and Pedro if he wasn't even here? Nice try on the conspiracy theory though Jason- just what I would expect from a MFY fan. I find it interesting that you would think that you know all about the inner workings of the Sox clubhouse. Stick to the back pages of the Daily News.

Regardless who it is- WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? The cards definitely aren't stacked against us enough at this point, being .5 back with a 7 games to play in the final six days? These are the types of things that make me understand why the players hate the media so much in Boston. If something was said, STFU about it until after the season's over. You know that's all that you're gonna hear on 'EEI and read about in the Globe and Herald for the next week, which only serves to aggravate the problem. I'm sure CHB is feverishly typing away as we speak.

Screw it- we've got two today, which will undoubtedly lead to me not getting shit done.

Just win baby.

[Jason O.]

Fair enough.

BTW: I like this site because I have not once read what I hear sometimes around Boston:

"Well, we did win it all last year."

A certain type of person understands that you're only as good as your last performance, and that life constantly creates new challenges.

[Kaz]

Schilling may not be the "lights out" ace that he has been most of his entire career (and 2 of his past 3 games have been that good), BUT he's still easily pitching well enough to hold a major league roster spot. He put up 7 consecutive save performances (not without drama, but come on...the guy hasn't come out of the bullpen in years...except for the Dbacks Game 7) when we were without closer.

I don't know that the clubhouse atmosphere is the same this year as it was last year. Last year they had their release valves and this year it seems like we're watching a bad rendition of "12 Angry Men".

Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher
Pressure on people - people on streets

This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure

[Ric]

I heard that Alejandro Machado made the Schilling remarks.... thats why Schilling is so made; those two are wicked tight. Machado is like a brother to Schilling.

[Follower of Tito]

NV in SD, like that you too have Al Davis' voice in your head, other than it creeps the shit out of me...I mean, the imagine of greased back hair, shriveled, sun-glass-wearing Al Davis in my head, repeat every day and every night, "Just Win, Baby!". These next 7 days is going to either kill me with pennant race ecstacy or place me in a catatonic fit, I am not sure which.

I work on the campus of UMass-Amherst, and I have class I have to teach tonight at 7:00 pm. All across campus, folks have doubled and tripled up on the usual Red Sox regalia. I am going to be talking to myself and about 5 FEMALE undergrads who will bother to attend my class tonight(not bad, considering I have 42 students except I'll miss the first part of the 2nd game).

As far as you said what, this is really starting to remind me of my kids fighting. I agree with the STFU theory.

If you ask me who started it, I'd use the same theory to figure out which kid started it: the one that feels left out. Foulke, pure and simple. Still on the team, but not playing, not going to play-offs, feeling left out.

[pawsoxpop]

First of all, HB, I am laughing so hard that the coffee I drank LAST WEEK is in danger of spewing all over my cubicle.

"It's like being on a stricken airlinah about to make an emergency landing and as you assume the crash postchah the woman sitting next to you blurts out, "My husband is the pilot and he's totally fucked up ovah losing his pilot skills. He hates himself. And his fathah's dead, too." Jesus, lady, not now, OK?"

Priceless.

Secondly, who the F cares which player said what about who. It's a well established fact that most professional athletes are not geniuses. Personally, I think it's Foulke and I think he has a point although I also think he should also keep his mouth shut but he won't because he just doesn't get it. Which would be fine with me also, if he could just get us some outs, which he can't so I say ignore him. We need all hands on deck right now, not arguing with each other, but bashing the Blue Jays. Too bad we can't rent Pedro from the Mets this week, but maybe we can borrow Nelson DeLaRosa for some instant karma.

We've got to win two today, win tomorrow, win Friday, and win two this weekend. Then we can save Schilling for the playoffs if we want. It will be very sweet when young Mr. Hansen K's one or two of his childhood heroes to help us into the post-season. Then we can leave the clubhouse bickering to the MFY's who are best at it anyway.

[NV in SD]

"It will be very sweet when young Mr. Hansen K's one or two of his childhood heroes to help us into the post-season"

THAT is what the fuck I'm talkin' about PSP. Also what I'm talkin about is Embedded Embree's line last night (1.0ip/4h/3r/1hr). I wonder if Joe would even tempt the fates by putting him in this weekend. Now, here's what we need. That letter that the O's sent to MLB concerning the rest of the season? Yeah, that shit needs to be returned to sender marked "Get off your asses and play baseball". If they're not gonna win, as it seems they're determined to, at least give 'em some games so their bullpen has to work. As far as our boys are concerned- three games in 48 hours? Sounds familiar. Let's hope for similar results. I'm off to an ill-timed jobsite walk-through. Thank you cell phone for having internet capabilities.

Like Ernie said- "Let's play two!"

[pudge]

That the player brought up Pedro leads me to believe it was probably a fellow Dominican. I like Ortiz or Manny for it. Because let's face it, Pedro got booed largely because he said things that pissed off the fans, and I think most of Schilling's teammates understand that difference.

As to Schilling: he does get more of a pass, because no one has worked harder, been more unselfish, or sacrificed more of himself and his career to win the World Series. And even if others have matched him in some of those areas, on one has matched him in all three.

Least of all Pedro, who has been the poster boy for selfishness his last few years in Boston ... contrasted with Schilling who took a fairly lowball contract, negotiated sans bloodsucking agent, to come to Boston, whereas Pedro used Boston to extort as much as he could from the Mets (not that I feel sorry for the Mets).

Also ... um ... how do I put this ... Ted Fucking Williams was booed by Boston fans. RAY FUCKING BOURQUE was booed occasionally by Boston fans. Who the fuck is anyone on this team that thinks they should be immune? Schilling may BE temporarily immune, but he doesn't have the cajones to think he should be.

It may be difficult to be a Sox player, depending on your personality, but it is not complicated:

* Don't badmouth your teammates, management, or the fans ... only the media and the opponents (especially the Yankees)

* Work and play as hard as you can

* Don't take it personally if you get booed

That's just about it. That's why Sox fans still like Mark Bellhorn and Alan Embree (modulo the team they currently play for) but hate Clemens and Pedro. Sure, we booed Bellhorn and Embree a lot more, but we also liked them more, because they weren't assholes.

[pudge]

h.b.: I had to read POSTCHAH like a dozen times before I read it as PAHST-CHAH instead of POST-CHAH. I was thinking, "poster? huh?" Maybe it's just me.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

pudge, I'd add one more item to your list: every now and again, make it apparent you're a) having a good time and/or b) busting your ass. That's why guys like Kapler, Dave Roberts, Pokey and the OC can come back here and get standing ovations. Dave Roberts mastered both the bare dirtdog playing with the I-love-this-game attitude. Kapler's never jogged out a grounder in his life and I've seen him do half a dozen midair somersauts in the OF getting the ball back in. It's why Ortiz was nigh untouchable last year in the media and Manny was fair game, even though they posted very similar numbers at the plate and in the field. And it's why you still see Daubach shirts at Fenway from time to time. The fans love the guys giving their all - it's why I love Bill Mueller (watch his face the next time he scoops a grounder or punches a shot into short center), for one.

Twenty minutes to game time. Has anyone thought of how important it is for the Sox to not just win the next two series, but win every game?

[h.b.]

Excellent call on Post-chah vs. Pahst-cha. As I know how I want it to sound in my own head, it's diff for me to tell how you readers will sound it out. Your direct input is very helpful.

[Jason O.]

NV in SD, if you're talking about the legend Ernie Harwell, you have my respect.

[Jason O.]

NV in SD, if you're talking about the legend Ernie Harwell, you have my respect.

Greatest euphemism for caught looking ever: "He stood like a house by side of the road, and watched it go by."

[pawsoxpop]

Pudge, I agree with you on Roger, but I disagree on Pedro. I wish he were still here, midseason vacation and all. I agree with Theo that we shouldn't have signed him to a four-year deal, and I also think the Mets will probably get a good four years out of him at Shea Stadium. But Pedro will always be right up there with El Tiante in my book for the great clutch performances he gave us year in and year out. When the post-season arrived, there was nobody better. Who can forget '99, when he came out of the bullpen to NO-HIT a Cleveland team FOR SIX INNINGS that HAD ALREADY SCORED CLOSE TO DOUBLE DIGITS ... then came back to shut down the MFY in the only game we won that series? For that alone, Pedro will always be one of my favorite players. Maybe not one of my favorite people, but let's face it, the true artists in any field often have severe personal flaws. I may love Keith Richards or Johnny Ramone or Jack Nicholson as an artist (well okay, not Jack Nicholson) but who the heck would want to hang around with any of them? Not that they've sought me out for mandates or anything. Now if it was Pedro and Nelson ....

[NYSoxfan]

hey Soxaholix nation, does anyone really give a flying fuq who said what about Schilling? Maybe if he shut his damn yap once in a while, his teammates -- and many fans -- would be more gung ho about him. Meanwhile, H.B., glad you keepin' Soxaholix real. Go Sox.

[Kaz]

Meanwhile, no matter who made the comments...

We're killing their starter right now.

[Aaron]

I agree with Pawsoxpop. We, as a culture, seem to have trouble separating the performance of our pro athletes and entertainers from their personalities. If we can just wean ourselves from this notion that the ability to throw a fastball entitles someone to comment authoritatively on any matter of substance and be taken seriously, we'd all be a lot happier.

Schilling is a perfect example. As far as I'm concerned, he's being paid to throw a 95 mph splitter, period, and that's all I expect or want from him. I find his love of his own voice, his preachiness and his political viewpoints repugnant, but that's irrelevent. It won't stop me from cheering like hell for him when he's facing the MFYs.

[h.b.]

Again, that was my point yesterday. Who cares what Babra Streisand has to say about global warming?

Who cares what Madonna thinks about child rearing or anything outside of her area of expertise?

And related, it's usually never a good thing to meet anybody you admire for their work (be it sports, poetry, politics, music etc).

As Evelyn Waugh said, "Madam, it is always a mistake to know an author."

Which is why you'll never see me make any sort of attempt to get to know any of you in the so-called "meat space" of real life. The real me and your preconceptions of me based on reading the strip would never match up. (Most of you would discover I'm a real asshole. :)

This is why, too, I try to take it easy even on commenting here. Don't want the bubble to burst.

[pawsoxpop]

I'm spelling Wakkkkkkefield with a capital W and six Ks today. I was hoping they would be able to save Timlin for tonight but he only threw 11 pitches so that was okay. Hopefully we can get an 11-2 lead into the eighth tonight and let DiNardo and Hansen and/or DelCarmen close it out. Go Red Sox! Go Orioles!

[Kaz]

Good win. The hits sounded solid and the outs came when needed on non-stressful plays.

I don't think we stressed the bullpen by any means and it sounds like nothing really went wrong (other than Manny letting one bounce away on him).

One down, one to go today. Just win.

[Aaron]

I'm betting they probably would've let Wake pitch another inning or two if he didn't have to go this weekend on short rest. After all, 108 pitches is nothing for a knuckeballer, and he was on cruise control.

Nice to see him get a well-deserved win after the last three hard-luck starts. If not for the lack of run support and the bullpen blowing it for him, he'd be approaching 20 wins right now. As it is, he can tie his career high with a 17th win again the Yanks.

[pawsoxpop]

Right on Aaron, Wake beats the Yanks on Saturday and he's got my vote for MVP. Papi, Manny and Johnny Damon have my vote for MVP too, though. But I'm not even going to THINK about MVP until after we win the division on Saturday.

[Snarf]

"BTW: I like this site because I have not once read what I hear sometimes around Boston:

"'Well, we did win it all last year."

"A certain type of person understands that you're only as good as your last performance, and that life constantly creates new challenges."

Yes, and that is what makes Yankee fans -- and their organization -- so enjoyable to be around. You know that you're never going to hear ANYTHING about being the 26-time world champions. You never hear it mentioned. Never.

[Billy Mahty]

This September seems like one of the most exciting in years. I think it's because this time the outcome (Sox lose somehow eventually) is no longer a given.

The GBYs and the Sox share a magic number: 7.

Game on.

[Devine]

Fuck the Yankees.

[Kaz]

No matter what happens before Friday, the Sox and Yankees will now face-off to decide who wins the division. It wasn't definite until we ended up tied with 6 games to go.

Now, the showdown in Fenway *has* to mean something as opposed to getting washed out by the week before it somehow for either team.

Just win.

[pawsoxpop]

For all you Soxaholix out there, boston.com has an excellent piece by Stan Grossfield on Yaz. The article is long, and there's a lot of stuff about fishing in it, but there are a few interesting baseball tidbits: Lonborg telling Yaz in '67 that he'd hold Frank Robinson hitless "so try to get a couple of hits" and get ahead in the batting crown race (Triple Crown that year, actually); George Steinbrenner asking Tip O'Neill to get Yaz to consider signing with the MFY at the end of his career; and my favorite quote of all, Yaz advising the Sox to keep Manny:

''Manny's in his own world, which is good because he doesn't feel the pressure," says Yaz. ''Manny has tremendous power, he's got the numbers. I'd hate to see that 1-2 punch broken up."

Pay attention Theo. Pay attention to Captain Carl.

[NV in SD]

Well said Devine.

Before our teams' last series (Jays for ny, O's for Sox), the MFY were 12-4, while the Sox were 8-8. Looking at how they've played over the course of the entire season, what is more likely- the Skanks keep it up, or the Sox turn it around? (3-1 & 4-0 respectively since then) That coupled with the fact that the last 7 are within the friendly confines is encouraging to say the least.

Just win
("baby" dropped in deference to FoT's point, and Kaz's use)

[NV in SD]

Fuck that. Not working.

Just win baby.

[vancouversoxfan]

Devine said it all for me too!

[pudge]

pawsoxpop: Pedro and Roger are both great Sox pitchers and should be remembered as such. And Pedro did have great performances; I will likely go to my grave saying Pedro in 99 and 2000 were the best seasons I've ever seen from any pitcher. But he was still a douche.