Doing battle with gravity

Bill:
At times like these it's important to remembah it's just a game, you know?

 

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Doug:
Seriously. Step back, take a deep breath, and get some mofo perspective.

 

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Bill:
Really, I mean it's not like we're at war with a bunch of jihadist whack jobs or anything. So the Red Sox are in second place behind the Yankees. It's not like we're about to have a global avian flu epidemic or anything.

 

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Doug:
Right. It's not like entiah cities are being wiped out by massive killa hurricanes or anything … I mean if the Red Sox don't make the playoffs, it's not like gas prices are at recahd high or the global fucking economy is about to shit the bed or anything.

 

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Bill:
Jeez, you've gotta love perspective.

 

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Doug:
I can barely contain my joy at the dawn of a new day. My innah child is so released.

 

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Bill:
Yes, yes, if I close my eyes I can see my innah child … he's happy and he's running … wait, what's that in my innah child's hands? Oh, how cute, scissahs.

 

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Comments

[Follower of Tito]

I had this bad feeling in my stomack about a month ago when on vacation in Bar Harbor. At first I thought it was bad oysters, but then I knew it was when the Sox had let the MFY back in the race. It's that I knew it would come down to those last 3 games. The Sox and the MYF will likely only be separated by 1 game or less. It will also likely be for the only ticket to October that any team in the AL East will get.

You know, if the 2004 ALCS had not happened, I'd really be suicidal instead of only moderately aggitated.

It would appear that the soothsayers were correct...several juggernauts (Sox, MFY, White Sox, Indians, A's, Angels) are on a collision course and there are going to be some dead bodies floating at the end. I, unfortunately, can't look away.

[Ric]

its funny because im taking the LSATS on Saturday morning October 1st... so if I dont get into my choice of law school it is directly the Red Sox's fault for making those Yanks games important....

[grunherz]

In dark times, baseball is the diversion that helps us to cope with things that are beyond our control. Baseball allows us to focus our energy on a game while the real world sorts itself out.

As baseball, with all it's imperfections is a metaphor for life.

Which is why, this morning, I want to metaphorically take those scissors my inner child is running with and jam them into my scull.

Metaphorically of course.

I gotta go pour hot coffee on a cackling Yankee fan, keep up the good work Hart.

[Jason O.]

Grunherz:
If any Yankees fans are cackling today, they are fools.

1) Jeter: "Just as quickly as we've gotten here, we can go in the opposite direction."
2) "Cackling" Yankees fans should remember the 2-3 times this year the team was left for dead (11-20 in May, swept by Kansas City, I could go on) and then look at the standings and see that a 4 or 5 game Boston spurt could mean the season is over. At this point, mistakes or bad fortune could end it for either team.

Follower of Tito: I didn't know there were any followers left of ex-Yugoslavian dictator Marshal Tito....I crack myself up.

[scott12xu]

Which is why, this morning, I want to metaphorically take those scissors my inner child is running with and jam them into my scull.

Well at least you are going to take it out on your boat though the repair bills could be pricey. It's good you won't stab those scissors into your skull. :)

Thank god for Jason, a breath of fresh air after the Bigbri (AUGH!! I SAID HIS NAME I'M GONNA TURN INTO A PILLAR OF SALT!!!) rantings (and Big Bitch dissed Jason on surving grady - wonder how many friends BigBitch has in real life? None?)

[AJM]

Didn't BigBri admit that he's a Cardinal fan out in MO who was just going to ridiculous lengths to yank our chains?

Well, looks like the lousy bullpen has finally done us in. Rooting for a Tribe/Cards WS...that one would be fun to watch.

Hopefully the combination of the kids and some better bullpen pickups this winter gets the Sox back on track in '06.

[Yazbread]

Pedro, forgive us our sins. 15-7, 2.80, 212Ks. Still not worth a 4 year deal, but the team would be in the playoffs rather than working on their golf swing.

[dirtdog in ny]

I live in the heart of the evil empire. I am surrounded by mfy fans--neighbors, friends, co-workers, even my husband. I have been abused by mfy fans. But...I have kept the faith. I have stalwartly suppported our fair team. Today, I don't have the fortitude to do battle, but my inner child wants to crush, kill, destroy...

[Kaz]

The game is to be played.

Right now, I hope something lit under the ass of every guy in that dugout. Because the pilot light is out and the flames will only survive as long as we keep the burners on high.

Last year, it was Cowboy Up and a Team of Idiots. Those rallying cries were the result of comical release from the tension of being down going into September. And it worked. The team pulled their bootstraps tight and went to work.

This year with the lead, it's been like watching little league the past 2 weeks. Errors, laziness, a complete lack of focus and determination...all leading to where we are now...down by 0.5 with 10 to go. The odds still say the division winner comes out with about 1-2 more wins than 2nd place.

That means we roll through Baltimore and show Toronto where we call home. Once we're done sweeping blue bird carcasses out the side door, we grin maliciously and invite the Yankees in the front.

All I ask for is good baseball. Something to be proud of and fun to watch. No more brain cramps, dying arms, kicked balls, running backwards to first, and hanging curves.

Just good, solid baseball for 10 games.

[pawsoxpop]

"You know, if the 2004 ALCS had not happened, I'd really be suicidal instead of only moderately aggitated." -- Hey Tito, the way I look at it, if your boy had been manager in 2003 instead of you-know-who, we would be even less agitated. Or even if Juicin' Giambi had played by the rules that year instead of doing the Balco Shuffle ... But yes, the 2004 ALCS was sweet.

It's hard to argue this morning that the glass is half-full, but here goes. The boys hit a lot of very hard shots that ended up in infielders' gloves last night. If they keep hitting like that, they're going to score a lot of runs most nights.

Wakefield pitched well. While it hurts to see him pitch that great and get another no decision, it bodes well for October, if we can make it there.

Mussina is pitching for the Spankees tonight. If their luck holds out like it has, he'll show up with a cast on his right arm and throw a no-hitter with his left arm, but their luck can't last forever, can it?

My last Pollyana-ish pronouncement: When we lost Pedro last winter, we knew it was going to be a tough year. If you had told me in April that Schilling and Foulke would have awful years and they would still have a chance to win the division with two weeks left in the season, I would have been overjoyed. Of course the way they got here is maddening, but the fact remains. They have a chance.

That said, I think they need to give Timlin some rest. Trust Papelbon, Delcarmen and Hansen and DiNardo to get outs against the O's and the Jays, and hope that Timlin can come back strong for the MFY series. And if Edgar is hurt, then use somebody else at shortstop. If he's not hurt, make him take some ground balls every day so he doesn't make any more errors.

If our boys keep playing like this and the Yankees keep playing like they've been playing, then they deserve to play in October and we don't. But the Sox still have the chance to pull this one out and prove that, in the words of the immortal philosopher Manuel "Kant" Ramirez: "I don't believe in curses. I believe everybody makes their own destination."

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

The playoffs have already started. The winner of the AL East goes to the team with the best pitching. Let's all hope that Aaron Small and Chien-Ming Wang find their AAA form and start serving up some meatballs, while Clement, Wells, Arroyo, Schilling and Wake all pitch some lights out ball.

[pawsoxpop]

Amen, Dewey Jr.

Btw: HB, great column today, although I don't know if I agree that " it's not like we're at war with a bunch of jihadist whack jobs or anything." I remember a few years ago reading a quote from Joe Torre when he said he met some Sox fans in an elevator on a way to a game and they told him "You know, Joe, we'd rather beat you guys than find Bin Laden." Torre said something like "He was just kidding, I hope."

Add Joe Torre to the list of people who just don't get it...

[Follower of Tito]

Jason, your right, perhaps 'Titonista'? Not so much. I am sticking with Tito, Theo and the boys. While the fair-weather fans jump the band-wagon into Boston Harbor (or the Quabbin Reservoir in my part of the Commonwealth), I won't. Just like I didn't on that early October day in 1978 when, while listening to the game during football practice, I thought I would puke.

Besides, I have another reason for hope. Several Sports Radio pundits have predicted the Sox won't make the play-offs....we all remember the last time these 'experts' declared the Sox d.o.a.!?

It reminds me of an old saying: "The worst fights are with a guy that has nothing to lose." Time for the boys to leave it all out on the field.

[NV in SD]

I had a moment last night, as I watched the scores of the games scrolly by the bottom of my television screen for the hundreth time. A feeling of calm over me unlike I've felt since before the last series in NY. I had mentioned earlier in the evening to one of my buddies that this division race had really been affecting my mood (as well as my girlfriend's patience with me, productivity at work, hours slept per night, etc.). At that moment though, I felt like the slate had been wiped clean, and I think this is why:

MFY have a game tonight with an ailing Mussina on the mound. Not to say that gurantees an O's victory, but it definitely increases the possibility. That said, Baltimore avoids the sweep and, all of a sudden its 0-0. 10 games left. Identical opponents. They're 26-18 vs remaining schedule, we're 19-26. They're 9-1 in their last 10, we're 5-5. Can they extend their streak and play the best 20 games they've played all season? Can we beat teams in our own division when it matters most? It's on us to keep pace now- no more frontrunning, no more looking over our shoulder. The pressure is on, and I have to say- I like our chances.

[vancouversoxfan]

Why must I love a team so much that it effects my moods, my health, a civil conversation with my wife. Oh and the fairweather MFY fans (And I don't mean Jason) are out in full force today. A month ago they had Mariner caps on but now all I hear is chortling.

[Aaron]

I second the sentiments of Vancouversoxfan. In a space of one short week, all the Mariners hats here in Seattle disappeared and were suddenly replaced by MFY hats. It's sickening. If you're a Yankee fan, then wear the damn hat all the time. You don't find Sox fans switching to other teams' logos when times are tough (granted, nine decades in the wilderness tends to toughen one up.) The sudden switch is especially perplexing, considering that Mariners tend to loathe the Yanks (esp Unit and Spanky, for obvious reasons.)

If all these MFY hats decorated the heads of people who just happened to be Noo Yawk transplants, I could understand, but as I said, wear the hat all the time then. I hadn't seen an NY logo for weeks, but take over first and they magically reappear. Wusses.

[NYSoxfan]

NV in SD, I had that same exact feeling!... as if my subconscious demons finally just relaxed knowing that the "30 Games in 30 Days" saga was finally over. While NY sportscasters rejoiced in the fact that the MFYs could suddenly hold their heads high, I was also calm, thinking of a Thursday night off from the madness... Peace tonight then back on the crazy train. Can only hope the Sox ball up down the stretch and tear through BAL/TOR so as to hit the MFYs with a head of steam. Otherwise, it's ovah.

[Bob]

Interesting story from Adfreak.com:

We heard a pitch on Newsradio 88 yesterday in New York that caught our attention even though we’re a long suffering Mets fan. It wasn’t the service—which offers to help New Yorkers beat the rap on parking tickets—that had us almost flying through a stop sign as we drove along; it was its grand opening promotional offer. Called beattix.com, the service says it will fight the parking tickets of Yankee fans for free who get nabbed during home games for the rest of the 2005 season. All they need do is send along the ticket, car registration and “an agreement that acknowledges that you’re Yankees fan [sic] and any applicable evidence such as a photograph or a statement.” But it doesn’t stop there. No. Both the radio ad and the site make it clear that the offer “does not apply to vehicles with Massachusetts license plates or those owned by Red Sox fans!” As if being a Red Sox fan today weren’t bad enough.

[buckner was framed]

I gotta say, NV, while I appreciate your positive spin, the stats you cite don't make me feel all that much better- except for your logic that MFY can't possibly go continue on their 9-1 streak. We just don't play well against the Birds; at least not for the past couple years. And,let's be realistic; at the moment we have a CF who can't throw or hit, a SS who can't catch, a manager who isn't, a 42 year-old 'ace' who just had a cortisone shot and is coming off 2 lousy outings, Honest Abe Clement who just doesn't inspire any confidence, and a bullpen that doesn't know their roles and maybe can't execute them even if they do.... and speaking of streaks, let's hope Wake's continues a little longer, only next time with a little run support.

All that being said, Sox by 1 in a playoff when all is said n done....

[NV in SD]

I'm getting it from all angles at work today.

"If the playoffs started today, you'd be out."

No shit? Well they don't, and you're an idiot.

"Yankees are in first, by the way."

Really? Thanks, because I didn't know that. I've been paying close attention all year, but I've kinda been ignoring baseball recently. Something about a tightening Division race really bores me.

"It's over."

Yeah, you're right. 10 games left- fuck it. Time to throw in the towel. Oh, by the way- lick my balls.

My advice to MFY fans- go back under the rock you've called home all season. Fucking fairweather bitches.

[buckner was framed]

after all- last year Curse of the Bambino.
This year: Curse of Bucky bleepin Dent.

Go Sawx

[COD]

//This year with the lead, it's been like watching little league the past 2 weeks.//

Having watched a lot of the Little League World Series, and having coached little league for the last five years, I've never seen a little leaguer fail to run out a ground ball.

Nevah Evah.

I can take losing if we tried our best and it just didn't happen. And even though deep down I have to believe the Sox are trying their best, its hard to keep that faith watching them the last couple of weeks.

[Jason O.]

The fair-weather fan syndrome is well documented, and the Yankees by far have the most free riders of any pro team, followed by the Lakers.

However, there are exemptions to constant wearing of the hat, like, say, if you live 2 miles from Fenway. Then, walking home from a bar on Friday night during baseball season is like the first 10 minutes of "28 Days Later."

[h.b.]

Then, walking home from a bar on Friday night during baseball season is like the first 10 minutes of "28 Days Later."

What a great way to describe it.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

NV,

with any luck, those fans will be back under the rock in about three weeks.

When MFY fans pull that on me, my line is "yeah, and if the playoffs started last week, *you'd* be out. so?" I can only smile at these weak-kneed dolts who can't even bring themselves to admit they are fans of a second-place team. They're spineless, they're wimps, and they will always be that way regardless of whether the Yankees win or lose. When the Yankees do happen to win, they cheer the loudest because they have nothing else worth cheering for in their lives.

[Jason O.]

Important additional tip: When you wear the hat in your car...and park in your Boston neighborhood...and people see you lock it...and then walk away...sometimes you come back to your car and there are 20 Yankees suck stickers covering your windshield*

*this actually happened in November 2003.

That's a rivalry.

[buckner was framed]

Damn, Jason-

Makes me proud(er) to be a Sox fan

[Aaron]

While we rhetorically tear a third cornchute in the phenomenon of bandwagon Yankee fans (and lord knows, it is fun) we should probably admit that a similar group of suckfish have attached themselves to the Sox since last season. I resent people who jump on the bandwagon and think they have the same right to celebrate the Series win as those of us who've suffered with this team all our lives.

If there is ANY silver lining to the possibility of missing the playoffs this season, it's that the bandwagon jumpers will lose interest and switch their worthless loyalties to someone else. The real fans supported this team fanatically for 86 years, and will continue to do so.

[Jason O.]

Understandable...the sting from Boone was still fresh at that time. 15 minutes with a razor blade and good as new.

Undeniably, the best wearing of Yankees hats in history was the Special Forces unit (I read this 2 years ago) that put them on before entering Al Qaeda cave complexes in Afghanistan. I recall one in the unit said it "kept them focused."

[NYSoxfan]

Right on NV, fuqqing bunch of fairweather bitches, that they are. Coming out of the woodwork today... this thing is going to the wire. I dunno how much magic Big Papi, et al got left but the Sox either win it or they don't. Nothing was worse than watching MFYs celebrate at Fenway in '99 ALCS -- that scenario must be fought against tooth and fuqqing nail. And just remember in case it ends deadlocked: "The Yankees would host a potential one-game playoff to determine the AL East against the archrival Boston Red Sox." C'mon Sox, the curse is dead. This is your time to shine dammit!

[Billy Mahty]

I've gotta say, I love this site. It's fun to watch the ups and downs from the other side. And I'll admit, I couldn't look at it for months after the God Blessed Yanks collapsed last year.

Here are some stats that are making me feel good right now:

Mar - Jun: GBY 39-38, Sox 45-32; head to head - GBY 4, Sox 5

Jul - Sep: GBY 49-25, Sox 43-32; head to head - GBY 5, Sox 2

But as we saw last year, anything can happen, and there's no reason for either side to be overconfident. It's going to be fun down the stretch.

"Everything looks nicer when you win. The girls are prettier. The cigars taste better. The trees are greener."

[vancouversoxfan]

"...rhetorically tear a third cornchute.."

Aaron, my neighbour to the south,I love that phrase!

[Devine]

I have a confession to make.

Before 2003, I nominally supported the Yankees.

I'm from Texas originally and still vaguely support the Astros as my NL team (though naturally I wish nothing but their destruction if they face the Red Sox). In 1999, I started college in the northeast and one of my roommates was an avid Yankee supporter. For his sake, I fell in with them (I'd always liked baseball). When they won, I was kind of happy. When they lost, I was sort of sad. But not much of either. It didn't follow me through the day after.

But then came October, 2003. I was out of school and living with a new, equally fanatic Yankee fan (in Brooklyn), and when I watched the Oakland series unfold, I thought it was the Red Sox' year, and bet my roommate that the Sox would take it. She smirked. Bitch. As the series progressed, it became evident to me I cared more about the team than the bet. And when Pedro gave up those runs, I wailed and fell to my knees and realized I was a Red Sox fan forever. I don't want to say that I earned my stripes all in a week or so, and I've always felt guilty about them winning the next year. Still, at least I bandwagon-leapt at a dire time ("dire" might be debateable, since they were in the playoffs, etc.). Since then, I've watched as many games as I possibly can and the Sox have an effect on my emotions and life (work, relationships, friendships) that the Yankees never did. I don't know why. I would have supported them forever even if they hadn't won last year, but I do still feel guilty about it being so soon after I joined the cause.

Anyway, just wanted to say that. The Red Sox CAN do this. Whether they will is another matter. Besides the simple, practical aspect of wanting the Yankees to lose tonight because it helps Boston, I (like NV, I think) also like the romantic, focused aspect of a simple 10-game race that ends with the two opponents facing one another. Between this race and the Chicago-Cleveland drama, this oughta be some end to September.

[pawsoxpop]

Devine,
Please don't feel guilty that they won last year!!! I'm old enough to wish they had won it all in 1967, '72, '74, '75, '78, '86, '88, etc. etc. blah blah blah (Soxaholix, cut me some slack if I'm missing any years here). My dad is old enough to wish they'd won it in 1941 etc etc, and probably saw his last game at Fenway last year (needed a wheelchair to leave the ballpark, watches every game on NESN now and goes to a few Pawsox games) ... So for our sakes and the sakes of every other Sox fan out there, PLEASE don't feel guilty.
I'm glad you didn't have to suffer for more than a year. I'm glad my 12-year-old son, who went to his first Fenway game in 1998, did not have to suffer for too many years. And I'm glad that we won't have to suffer too long this year either. Come on people, these guys can still do it. They can make mincemeat of the O's and Jays and come into Fenway and take care of business. This is the 21st Century, not the bad old days. The O's look whipped (although I'm hoping they'll show up loaded for moose tonight). We've got the Blue Jays in our house, where our record was pretty good last time I checked. Ditto for the Spankees. Let's enjoy the rest of the season. Our magic number is 10. Hopefully after tonight it will be nine. That's doable.

[Kaz]

Jason O., if I've ever been one of the undead who assaulted you for wearing a NY hat within 2 miles of Fenway late on a Friday night...

Good. Ya bastahd.

Kidding, I don't condone that kind of rivalry violence/misdemeanors...I'm not gonna call the cops for you, but I don't condone it. I'd rather you bare the scarlet letters and treat you as an outcast. Heh heh.

Oh, and I'd say it's more like the *last* 10 minutes than the first. In the first 10 minutes he didn't know what was going on yet. You know damn well what's the likely outcome of wearing a NY hat in the Fens is.

[h.b.]

Good confession, Devine.

I personally never hold any grudges about when someone became a Red Sox fan or the circumstances that bring it about.

What's important is that once one has heard "the word," so to speak, and become a convert, that the devotion remains eternal, through thick and thin and all that.

Also, I think it's cool when people who are not from the New England find themselves drawn to the team, particularly those who came to the area for college or for a job or whatever.

On the other hand, I cannot accept when a native New Englander (not counting the westeren half of Conn, of course) roots for any team except the Red Sox.

And the native born who roots for the Yankees? I spit in their general direction.

[NV in SD]

Maybe the stats I provided might've been a little heavy- handed towards the pessimistic side. After re-reading them, I wish I would've left out the records vs final opponents part, but maybe that's just the kind of motivation that's needed. They know that the AL East has beat up on them for the better part the season. They know the odds are stacked against them. Backs against the wall- not in a 2004 ALCS game 4 kinda way, but you get my drift. These guys thrive under pressure.

Sure, we should've stepped on the MFY's necks when we had the chance(s), but you have to believe that this is how it was meant to be. In my heart of hearts, I wished for nothing more than the Division title coupled with a NY-free playoffs. I think though, after what we've seen and gone through the past two seasons, there was no way that was gonna happen. I like Billy Buck's argument- we got you back for your stupid fucking "1918" and "Curse of the Bambino" nonsense. Now it's time for payback, and #1 on the list is 1978 and BFD. Really- how sweet would it be if we matched records over the next 10 games and went into the bronx with our playoff lives at stake, and Rent smacked one into Monument Park? Wow. As awesome as that would be, common sense tells me to root with all of my rootitude that we go on a tear as the MFY limp to the final series with a losing record.

That, and my heart tells me that 27-year olds shouldn't have heart attacks, but they might.

[pawsoxpop]

HB, I gotta tell ya, I now live in the Western half of Connecticut, and it's looking more and more like real New England every day. Lots of Sox hats, Sox flags in yards, and in the town where I live where the cable company carries YES instead of NESN, you see TONS of dishes on roofs. And on the commuter train and the streets of Manhattan, I see more hats with "B" on them than ever before. A certain amount of this is undoubtedly bandwagon-jumping, but I really don't care. It makes me feel lots more comfortable. And I realize that the MFY fans have not gone away; but they have been a lot more civil than usual. Even today after they snuck into first place, the fans at my office are treading a lot more lightly than I would have expected. Now if the fellas can just put a decent winning streak together, we can once again have the joy of October baseball, and hopefully deny it to them. Come on Sox, you can do it. One pitch at a time. One grounder at a time. Be ready Edgah!

[buckner was framed]

'That, and my heart tells me that 27-year olds shouldn't have heart attacks, but they might.'

NV- If you're bothered by '78 as I am, and if my math is correct, then you were one pissed off fetus.... now THAT's a born-and-bred Sox fan... I am unworthy

[NV in SD]

You got it- here's some photo evidence:

http://pds.exblog.jp/pds/1/200410/28/36/b0017036_13271757.jpg

Actually I was working on my 10th month as a Soxaholic, but you get the idea.

[Devine]

Well, Sox, if you wanted to be the underdogs, here's your chance. Win tomorrow! Biggest road games of the year...coming up.

[The Goat]

Thank god the White Sox are diverting attention from our recent slide... Now THAT'S a choke worthy of the '78 bosox and '04 Pure Evil... 15 games ahead on August 1, now down to 1.5? Jeebus!

Now we are only 3 games behind Chicago for the Wild Card (I'm making the assumption that Cleveland will now catch them for the Central title)... If we go 8-2 over the last 10 and they go 4-6 (both feasible scenarios), we'll be in the playoffs regardless of the how the Spankees play against the Jays and O's.. But I say take the easiest route and just tenderize some MFY ass to take the AL east flag.. :)