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But it's been no bed of roses, no pleasure cruise

So the word is Foulke is shutting it down for oh-5.


Wait, wait, because what I'm about to say might be critical, and lest anyone think I'm retahded or ignorant, let me first issue the following disclaimah: 2004's World Series victory would not have been possible without the heroic efforts and stunning ability of Keith Foulke and he may very well have ruined his careah because of it.


Right. Of course. I'm mentally genuflecting as I say this, but I'm happy to hear that Godot like wait for Foulke's "return to form" is finally over.


Meanwhile, I'm so glad that pesky ½ game is gone so Joe Torre doesn't have to fret about it anymore.


Speaking of the Mystique and Horror show, so how's this "the Yankees can't win forevah; they have to cool off at some point" strategy working out for you?


Er, not so much. At this point the Red Sox just need to win every game and not count on any passive help from the Yankees.


Yeah, backing into a Division title because of another team's losses is lame.


It's like sucking your own balls.* It might get the job done, but it doesn't do much for the ego.



Yeah, last time I checked the lyrics for "We Are the Champions" go "I've taken my bows" and not "I've sucked my own balls …"


Author's Notes

Oop's. Originally had the wrong link on the "ball sucking." Didn't mean to link that one to the Yankees' fan blog. (Ah, Freud, you devil.) Fixed now.


Foulke is shutting it down for '06? Really, all of next year? Grow up fast, Master Hanson. As for that NSFW pic, Christ, that kid's member isn't even particularly large, but I guess a double-jointed back does have its advantages.

Foulke is shutting it down for '06? Really, all of next year?

And bad mistakes
I’ve made a few

In that case, NSFW stands for nut sack fragrance wafting.

Looking at the batch of comments on the top left of the home page, I must ask you hb:

Are you schlonging Ana Marie Cox, aka Wonkette? She's the Cindy Margolis of blog pundits....and from what I've read on her site she might like it a little "creepy," if you know what I mean.

Are you schlonging Ana Marie Cox, aka Wonkette?

At one point the character Doug had the most major crush on Wonkette. (I think he still does.)

See: Letter to Wonkette

And the Wonkette responds:
I Fall for the Link Bait as Easily as the Next Girl

Last year, eh? Well, 1000 pardons for bringing up what is clearly old news.

Love the Queen reference, h.b., but I've had the Talking Heads 'Life in Wartime' rolling around in my head for a few days:

"This ain't party
This ain't no disco
This ain't no foolin' around"

I agree with Bob, it is time to let the young guns air it out. If we truely want to get to the playoffs (and simultaneously season these guys), we must see what Papelbon, Hansen, Delcarmen and the rest are made of Nietzsche-style: "That which does not kill us makes us stronger'.

Love the Queen reference, h.b., but I've had the Talking Heads 'Life in Wartime' rolling around in my head for a few days.

That would have worked. I could have had Bill say:

"No time for self-fellatio lovey dovey,
I ain’t got time for that now "

Or you could have used the lyrics from "City" unchanged (just imagine the kid blowing himself while reading them):

I'm checking them out
I'm checking them out
I got it figured out
I got it figured out
There's good points and bad points
But it all works out
I'm a little freaked out

Ah, those lyrics are perfect for captioning that photo! I'm laughing so hard I can barely type.

Just read a post on Surviving Grady that Brian Cashman is leaving the Yankees at the end of the season to "explore other options." (Which likely include not having a heart attack, stroke, or brain aneurism.)

Nice try H.B. but that kid was not so special. You should see what a FIVE-TOOL PLAYER can accomplish!!! I'M THE MVP!!!

"so how's this "the Yankees can't win forevah; they have to cool off at some point" strategy working out for you?"

I'll tell you - it isn't working for me - I'm sick and tired of relying on the Yankees to fall apart. Isn't it time our managment got it together. Thats right - I said the managment not the team.

It's not a team that blows a 4-2 lead in the 8th, it's POOR MANAGMENT(Common you had to know what I was going to say by now).

Time for the Sox to stop self-sodomizing and get back to bidness... let's win some damn ballgames down in Balcomore and head back home with heads held high.

So yesterday didn't work out as I had asked it to, but what can you do? E # = 10 with 10 to go. Do we get Dr. Bronson or Mr. Arroyo-yo tonight? Meanwhile, the MFY continue thir hot streak on the back of Whore-hay. I hate him so much.

I was watching Boondock Saints (again) last night and you know that one scene that Connor and Murphy wake up in the morning in the jail cell after having the same dream? They look at each other and there is an unspoken understanding between them, a mutual feeling that they know what needs to be done, and it's on them to do it. That's the Red Sox with 10 game to go. We can't sit around, willing a skanks losing streak. Three words:

Just win baby.

Libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
(Men gladly believe that which they wish for)

Good Weekend, all. Go with fortune.

Jason, as a fellow product of a Jesuit education, I will leave you with one of my favorite Latin I student jokes:
Semper Ubi Sub Ubi
(Always wear underwear)

Actually, this is my favorite one:
"It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who
are willing to endure pain with patience."
- Julius Caesar

I think Julius might have been a Sox fan.

Wait wait wait wait. It's a NEW THING that Sox fans are booing good players? It's a NEW THING that Sox fans complain on the radio about every little thing that happens?

Is he really a longtime Sox fan?

Or maybe he was just retarded enough to think that something would change after the Sox won it.

And worse, why should winning the World Series last year make us want to win it any less now? That is the *whole fucking point* of playing in the MLB, to win the World Series. Last year was great, but this year is a new year, and hell yes we want to win it again, as any real fan would ... else what the hell are you rooting for?

Oh, and one more thing as to booing: I"ve heard Boston fans boo Ray Bourque. If Ray is not immune to it, then Foulke sure as hell isn't. You play badly, you get booed. If you don't get that, you don't get Boston, and should shut the hell up.

I must respectfully disagree, Pudge. We ain't Spankees fans, for Chrissakes, so booing your own players is fucked up. Who booed Ray Bourque? I'll stick 77 inches worth of boot up their ass. I can understand booing an error, or a managerial decision by Tito, but you don't boo your players. That's something that should be left in the Toilet Bowl on the Hudson.

I remember being heartbroken when I was a little kid when I heard people booing Yaz at Fenway and calling the talk shows for more than a week to complain when he didn't run out a ground ball in the late innings of a game the Sox were losing by something like seven runs. I think the fans who booed Foulke after he gave up a grand slam were more justified, even if they do prefer Burger King to Wendy's...

And let's not forget that TED WILLIAMS himself got booed at Fenway, which is why he always refused to tip his cap, even during the massive ovation that followed the homer he hit in his lasst at-bat, as chronicled in the classic John Updike essay "Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu" ...

So Foulke is in good company.

Ok, on to the meat of our agenda:

We've had "Cowboy Up," "Keep the Faith" and the "Idiots." Time for "Call in the Young Guns" or "the Pony Express" or "the Children's Crusade." Let's saddle up Papelbon, Hansen and DelCarmen and DiNardo for the stretch drive and give them a chance to take us home...

RE: Balcomore

Ouch. That hurts my native son within me.

Maybe we can change the stat line for Raffy, Giambi, Bonds and Sheffield so it reads "Runs Balcoed In" ...

Excellent! and we can have 'On Balco Products' too

I'm so glad I waiting until I got home to click on the picture of the kid sucking his own balls.
And I'm most appreciative that you use the warning lable.
Here, in the privacy of my living room, I can laugh my own balls off.
Now, if Clinton could do that, the whole Monica nonsense could have been avoided. Of course, if Clinton could do that, he probably never would have moved out of his mom's house.

Its about time Keith Foulke was shut down for the year. The Red Sox are better off without Keith Foulke. He did absolutely nothing this year for the Sox except blow saves and occupy a roster spot. He will always be remembered for his great work in 2004 and the "Johnny from Burger King" comment. Well Keith, its time for the Sox to move on, without you, and Johnny from Burger King isn't even going to help you.

da kine: you can take your respectful disagreement and shove it up your OWN posterior. I've heard Bourque get booed MANY times, especially in the late 90s when he was slowing down, having dry spells, getting burned a lot in one-on-ones, taking bad shots, and so on. You either weren't watching much, or you just have a selective memory.

This is Boston. We boo when you suck, no matter who you are. And mark my words: if Schilling sucks in the playoffs, in Fenway, he WILL get booed.

Not that I would boo Bourque, but I didn't complain when people did. He blew the plays. And by Bourque's own words, he didn't take it personally, either.

And if you don't like it, tough. Go be a Mariners fan or something. Nothing ever changes in Beantown, and a constant throughout the years is that the home town gets booed when they play poorly, including the fan favorite players. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it will, or should, change.

"Don't blame us if we ever doubt ya, you know we couldn't live without ya ..."

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