Sugar Pills

Mike:
Don't you just love the incongruence of having the guy who throws something as erratic and willy-nilly as a knuckleball playing the role of the stoppah? It's the 4th time this year Wakefield's ended a team losing streak and the 3rd time he's prevented a sweep.

 

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Susan:
Absolutely. And how about Wake joining Cy Young and Roger Clemens  as the only pitchers to throw at least 2,000 innings in a Red Sox uniform?

 

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Mike:
You know, besides his incredible talent, the best thing about Wakefield is in all his years with the Sox, he's nevah once acted like a dick.

 

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Susan:
Right, nevah a "me first" pronouncement, nevah a middle finger, figuratively or literally, to the fans.

 

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Mike:
Reminds me … did you see where Keith "Home of the Whoppah" Foulke said "I won't go on any rehab stints. I'll go through my bullpens and I'll be back in the big leagues. I'm not going to mess with that. It's just a waste of time."

 

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Susan:
Sure, Keith, why not just try a game on the line save situation to see if you're ready? I mean it's not like games in August count or anything. What a fucktahd.

 

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Mike:
To give him the benefit, maybe this attitude is less of a prima donna thing and more of a him psyching himself up to pitch, you know, getting his game face attitude on?

 

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Susan:
Whatevah. I thought it was his knee that was the problem and not his head? Why do I get the stinking sinking feeling this surgery was a mofo placebo?

 

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Mike:
If Foulke comes back strong, it won't mattah … Hey, did you heah the Red Sox have replaced the Yankees as the biggest road show?

 

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Susan:
Woo-hoo! Bettah crank up production on the pink caps, we've got some fair weathah bitches from Plano itchin' to do the Wave.

 

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Comments

[SawxSince67]

Globe Red Sox notes:
"Francona said, ''He doesn't warm to a lot of things. I think he said he'd do anything we asked of him, if I remember properly. He knows what we're trying to do is in his best interests."

Foulkie and a few other guys need to shut the fuck up and play "good soldier".

There's no room for this in August. Work your kinks out with the PawSox, set a fucking example and get your shit right.

[Bob]

Hey, on "Mike and Mike in the Morning" on ESPN, Millar was nominated for a Just Shut Up Award for something he said yesterday. I had to leave the house before I could find out what it was. Anyone know?

[MikeyT's]

Millah called himself the Tom Brady of the Red Sox. Just cause he doesn't hit homahs doesn't mean he doesn't help the team win. So, I guess that's an easy way for him to rationalize the fact that he sucks.

[mick]

i think ALL pink sportwear should be banned. i'm a chick, and i buy the real effin' thing. why on earth would you buy a pink red sox cap, or patriots cap? it drives me nuts. it's ridiculous. what are they thinking? "i don't have a penis, therefore, even though i'm a grown woman, i still default to the infantile notion that if you don't have a penis, you wear pink b/c it's 'girly.'" don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with wearing pink if you're a gal, i love the color. but not when it's replacing the team colors of an effin' major/pro league team. it would be like dudes wearing blue instead of team colors to show their 'dudeness.' o.k. rant over.

[Millar sucks]

Millar is the Tom Brady of the Red Sox?
That's almost as laughable as saying Tom Brady is the Kevin Millar of the Patriots.

[scott12xu]

I've gone in those mall sports shops and even here in Athens, GA, they have Sox caps in blue with white pinstripes and MFY caps in blue with red backgrounds. WTF? Trying to fit in with the enemy?

Oh yeh, let's not forget all MLB teams' caps in white-on-white or black-on-black. Just be a mindless consumer and buy 'em all.

Pink lids/uniforms are the absolute worst though. They don't even look good on females doing porn, if they decided to do a porn shoot, with baseball team uniforms that is...

also h.b., Susan/Circle's statement in the 6th panel looks like it's missing a few words.

[scott12xu]

I always thought Kevin Millar was more like the Peter Brady of the Red Sox - or Wayne Brady...

[h.b.]

scott12xu,

Thanks for the missing words tip. Fixed now.

As for Peter/Wayne Brady, I don't know if Millar even rises to that occassion.

I mean Wayne Brady did cool stuff like take the kids to Ghost Towns and Hawaii. And Peter was an integral part of the "Brady Six" singing group sensation.

"Pork chops and applesauce."

[da kine]

Not to mention, Wayne Brady wasn't scared to choke a bitch, if necessary.

Foulkey needs to shut the frig up and head to Rhode Island for some rehab. We should all be fans of Pawtucket. It is that little burg in the littlest state that will probably cause Theo to realize that K-Horn doesn't have his shit and probably won't regain it for some time.

[NV in SD]

Kevie Millar should be the Rohan Davie of the Sox- third stringer who only plays when absolutely necessary. I guess that would make Bellhorn the waterboy then...even though he has brought his avg. at Pawtucket up to a staggering .115.

Interesting article (http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/3867778) about Millar and his foibles this season, for those of you who havent been on the Dirt Dogs site today. Can someone please do something to hasten the Helmeted One's return from the DL?

[SawxSince67]

"Wayne Brady did cool stuff like take the kids to Ghost Towns and Hawaii."

That'd be Mike Brady played by Robert (I AM REALLY acting when I kiss my TV wife goodnight) Reed...

Yes, Wayne, you do have to choke a bitch. I mean; they can't be holding out on their Daddy...

Charlie Murphy says Chapelle Show is history. Sucks.

[birthofasoxfan97]

Wakefield is pure joy. Not only does he rock when we need it, I like that he shows 'Tek's got some vulnerability - makes you appreciate the C's exploits even more. Everytime I hear about anything Millar-related, I think of the strip comparing Millar and Olerud to Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan...

Next: the pink stuff has to go. Even my 8 year old consistently and forcefully foregoes pink for the real deal navy and red.

Last: Plano? Good God, h.b., you nailed that one for a good reference to things fake.

[h.b.]

I knew Wayne didn't sound right for the partriarch of the Brady clan.

I'm pulling a blank on Wayne Brady? Someone throw me a frickin' bone.

[scott12xu]

h.b., Wayne Brady was the African-American comedian who was on "Who's Line is It Anyway?" and had his own talk show for a while (before it was cancelled and replacd by... Tony Danza [?!?]).

I was just throwing out different "Brady"'s to show that Millar comparing himself to Tom Brady makes zero sense. If I knew any more Bradys, I would have mentioned them too.

[NV in SD]

Wayne Brady- comedian, seen on "Whose line is it Anyway" known best for his cotton-candy like mild humor and singing. All of which made his appearance on Chapelle's Show that much more hilarious. (http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=11974)

"Break yo'self Foo!"

"Oh shit! It's Wayne Brady!"

[Elliott]

"I think he said he'd do anything we asked of him, if I remember properly."

It sounds Francona's holding something Foulke said in the last minutes of an intervention over him.

[NolaSox]

Wayne Brady - the black guy on Whose Line is it Anyway. Also guest on Chapelle's Show - the Secret Life of Wayne Brady. Very funny - WB gets away with murder cause white folks love him - DC is completely freaked out.

[NYSoxfan]

re: the 'Helmeted One' what's the rush? Petagine is just getting his feet wet. That bases-clearing double y'day was his thank you to Theo Epstein for saving him from obscurity in the J-League. As for trying to stretch it to a triple, must have been the adrenalin... his first MLB hit since '98 for crissakes! As for K-horn's decline, it truly pains this Soxfan. His undeniably huge nuts from Game 6 of the '04 ALCS thru WS Game 1 will never be forgotten. Let's hope he gets his mojo workin' in time for Octobah.

[d56]

The Helmeted One . . . currently has an eqA of .270, and has been declining since his hot start earlier in the year.

PECOTA's forecast, which is veeeeery conservative with japan-league power hitters, puts Petagine at a eqA of .282 . . . and this was before his 1.000+ OPS with the PawSox.

Let's let Roberto play it out for a while, and let the dead body of Olerud continue to decline - remember how much we mocked the MFYs for his presence last year?

Olerud's numbers are . . . now essentially identical with the Sox.

[phatlikebuddha]

at least olerud has a swing.

i like millar as much as the next guy, but the guys been fucking around with his stance for the past two years (like a guy looking for his swing). he's been closed, open, closed, equal, and open in the past 2 years and only once did it work out (what led to his 2nd half tear in '04).

i say they should let pentagine play for awhile to see if he can hit in the bigs or if he is AAAA.

millar's still a pretty good hitter if you look at his OBP, and I think thats why he'll stay in the lineup alot, but I'm glad they arent leaving him in the 5 spot all the time. he just doesnt have it anymore.

[da kine]

I for one never mocked the Chokees for putting Olerud on the field. In fact, didn't some of the Spankees say his departure from the scene due to injury was the proximate cause of their history-making choke job? I love the guy. I am no sabermetrician, so I have to go with what I see. Olerud is a player, and maybe even a playah...I'd have to ask the hoes on Landsdowne.

[pudge]

I love Wakes as much as anyone, but:

1. In 1995 after joining the team, he went 14-1 to start the season. The one loss? When I was passing through Vegas driving across the country, and put some money down on the game. THANKS TIM.

2. It's not true he's never been a dick. Remember a few years back when he was sent to the bullpen not because he was playing poorly, but to make room? He had a few grumbles.

That said, these things are a mere hiccup in the career of a true, classy, professional.

[scott12xu]

**Olerud is a player, and maybe even a playah...I'd have to ask the hoes on Landsdowne.**

Not much chance of that happening, Kine. Olreud is as heavy duty as a born-again Christain as Schilling and Timlin. There was an article about a month ago in the Globe (I think) that talked about his youngest daughter's life-threatning illness that she's had since birth (born with half a final chromosone and half of an extra chromosone). The daughter is 5 years old now and the article talked about all the health problems she's had since birth (quite a bit) and how Olreud's (and his family's) faith was carrying them through the operations, hospital stays, etc. Very sad, heartbreaking story.

So for any other Sox player, your comment would have been funny. You just happened to pick the wrong one to make fun of.

[AJM]

I was on the Vineyard a few weeks back vacationing with the 'ette, and we saw Wakefield out in Edgartown the night of the All-Star Game. He was wearing shorts, a polo, and flip-flops while pushing a baby stroller and taking his family out for ice cream. How great is that?

I would also like to point out, h.b., that I like the new 'Circle' graphic; can't believe no one else has commented on it. As someone who is probably right in 'Mike's' demographic, I love the fact that he and Circle can bond over the Sox.

[pudge]

Oh, and here's the info on that one loss. It talks about how he took a no-hitter into 8th on on June 9, giving up his first ER in 32 IP, and then: "His only loss in that stretch was 5-3 at Tor. June 14 (7+ IP, 8 H, 5 R, 3 ER, 3 BB, 5 K)." Then he won 10 in a row.

And it was on my honeymoon too! I got married on the 10th.

OK, I am not really bitter, but it is still funny to me after 10 years.

[Orenda]

"In fact, didn't some of the Spankees say his departure from the scene due to injury was the proximate cause of their history-making choke job?"

Good point. What if it's Olerud against Foulke, 2 outs, bottom of the 9th, Game Six, instead of Tony "K" Clark?

[AngelicaBalabanoff]

"In fact, didn't some of the Spankees say his departure from the scene due to injury was the proximate cause of their history-making choke job?"

Good point. What if it's Olerud against Foulke, 2 outs, bottom of the 9th, Game Six, instead of Tony "K" Clark?

[AngelicaBalabanoff]

Oops. Sorry about the double post. First Typekey ID didn't seemed to work, so I tried another. But I'm the same person.

With this third post, I venture into "Swingers" territory; i.e., leaving multiple, painful, redundant messages on an answering machine.

[Ice Princess]

I'm a little late joining in today, busted up my foot pretty good on my way in to work today.

I just want to say that I love the pink jerseys, caps, anything. It's not disrespectful, or showing off that I'm a young 20-10 year old. It's simply an option. I wear pink a lot, & blue & purple, & I have gear in all those colors. It doesn't mean a thing, other than that I simply enjoy the opportunity for a change.

Variety is a good thing.

[Ice Princess]

PS - The chick in pink up top looks just like me discussing a game on a break while I'm stuck at work!