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Don't quit your day job, kid

Hart Brachen, blog author:
Sorry, gang, the day job is sending me on the road for a couple days (quite unexpectedly, too), so no new strips for the remainder of the week …



The Day Job is exactly why I am up at this hour, h.b.

Actually, this is one of those games I am glad I went to bed when the score was 7-4 Sox went Clement left. It is much easier on the ulcer to watch this shit in retrospect knowing the outcome.

Did anyone else see the gopher-ball Embre gave up to the White Sox yesterday? Hell, if $teinbrenner is willing to pay for shit like that, I'v got an uncle who pitched minor league ball.

And, Millar..wearing the Tom Brady Uni...dude, very few people look good in a skin-tight football uni without pads..especially you, but I guess every team needs a jester..keeps everyone loose.

Advice for our new REMdog:
This is a bed. This is the backyahd. Shit it the latter.


At least there's no game tomorrow anyway...

Quit your day job. It probably does not bring joy to thousands as does 'The Soxaholix'.

"...the day job is sending me on the road for a couple days."


You mean this doesn't pay?

Scott Proctor will take the Big Eunuch's turn...

NY Daily News:

In an almost comical moment in the clubhouse before last night's game, the spokesman, Rick Cerrone, was struggling to remember Johnson's phrasing to a group of reporters when the 6-10 lefty leaned in and repeated what he wanted said.

"I am making progress toward my next start," he said. "I'm working on range of motion, flexibility and strengthening."

I love these anti-social NYY moments.

HB, would it help if we all write your boss and tell him you need time to do your strip? I didn't think so.

Contreras was lights-out last night. Made the Tankees waste what will probably be their staff's most effective pitching of the week (2 runs in 9 innings against a decent lineup). None of the Crankee fans at my dayjob are giving us in the Red Sox diaspora any trouble at all these days. In fact, the Mets fans are coming out of the woodwork; how long before they have the best record in New York City?

Remlinger was terrible last night. But at least the New Englandah gets it; no bashing Johnny Burger King for him. I hope he turns it around, but if not he could at least give Foulke p.r. lessons:

''When I grew up here, I figure I booed enough guys that I've got some coming to me," Remlinger said. ''I'm confident I won't pitch that way again."

Let's hope he's right.

h.b., perhaps you could have a 2nd-in-command who does the strip in your absence (a la surviving grady) - or is it YOUR baby all the way and no one does it once you are gone (Like "Peanuts" and Charles Schulz)?

The least you could do in your absence is get the graphic artist to do an animation of Hazel Mae and Michelle Damon in g-strings making out... LOL

Tonight we spell redemption E-D-G-A-R.

Seriously- if anyone was going to hit a walkoff RBI single, it HAD to be him, esp after the horrendous night he was having.

Is his name Remlingrrrrrrr yet? (Not that the E or Chadford helped)

How about that fucking dipshit Skankees fan who jumped off the upper deck (on a dare) into the net behind home plate. Holy shit- they breed 'em smart over there, huh? I guess now we know what bribri's been spending his time planning.

4.5 baby. Keep it going.

Seriously, NV. Edgar could use a little clutch hitting these days. Though the big dog over at the Official Boston Globe Red Sox Blog (aka BDD) found a way to spin Rent under the bus. I wonder if Shaughnessy or Edes is really the big dog.

I don't understand the Remlinger "trade". I mean, if we wanted a balky lefty setup guy who'd blow a lead in late innings, we could've just kept Embree on and those little prospects we gave up. At least that guy *did* something for the Sox last year.

If I were a Yankees fan, I'd be jumping off the balcony too. He was probably trying to escape a mugger.

You know, I don't think we're heard from BigBri since the skanks were within 2.5 games or so of first. I'm starting to enjoy the lack of idiocy around these parts.

I think the reasoning behind the Remlinger deal was Theo and Tito hoping a change of scenery (new league, hitters who haven't seen him much) would revitalize him, at least for a few weeks, like it seems to be doing for Al Leiter. It didn't work out last night, but not every team has a lineup as tough as the Rangers. He still might pan out.

BigBri hasn't even posted on his OWN pathetic blog since July (neither has anyone else that I can see). I think he's getting ready for the upcoming NHL season with a Rangers blog that blasts Bruins fans as hypocrites (or maybe for hockey he hates NJ Devils fans, who knows?) We probably shouldn't mention him too much though, or he might return and call us names.

Just a word for the denizens of Red Sox nation. Cubs' fan here...we will leave it to all of you to pull the fork out of Remlinger...He's a good guy, maybe not as good a guy as Manny turned out to be at the trade deadline, but he'll give Mayday Malone a run for all of you. Enjoy.

Yeah, the spin on his game winner last night dosen't surprise me, as BDD has been on Rent all year. I say give the guy a break. Granted he's leading the universe in errors, but his offensive #s are going to be right at where they usu. are. Solid clubhouse presence, and he's going to be a great mentor for Hanley. He's even adopted the clubhouse mantra- "Turn the page" (good thing for him, too)

"If I were a Yankees fan, I'd be jumping off the balcony too. He was probably trying to escape a mugger."

It's funny 'cause it's true.

I don't even look at dirt dogs any more. It's about as entertaining as reading about Shaughnessy's trip to Italy.

Yeh, that Shaughnessy piece "What I did on my Summer Vacation" was journalistic masturbation at its best/worst. Surprised he didn't provide a link to his vacation photos.

Yahoo news posted the story with photos of the doofus:

Nice to see Whinebrenner was concerned about the kids' safety and well-being: "That was the only exciting thing that happened today," Yankees owner George Steinbrenner said after Chicago's 2-1 victory.

Is the entire MFY organization - front office down to players - staffed with cheating, lying, uncaring shitheads? Guess so...

If you go by the last time he wrote anything worth reading, the guy's been on vacation since 1988.

So who's throwing out the first cameraman (I mean pitch) at Fenway tonight?

Sidenote- Did anyone else see David Wright's catch last night. Over the shoulder barehanded?!?!?!

Go to mlb.com for highlight clip if you haven't- play of the year.

"...David Wright's catch last night?"

That was ridiculous. Mets fans are going bonkers for that guy.

"pull the fork out of Remlinger"

Hopefully Tito will use Remlinger against righties--his strength. But, Tito rolls his own way, so...hey, I hear there was a Nomah sighting last night!

"BDD has been on Rent all year."

BDD. Douche. Good pictures, though.

If I were a Boston cameraman, I'd have my camera about one inch from Kenny's face all day today. Follow him everywhere. Annoy the hell out of him. Meet him at the front door of his hotel when he leaves in the morning with the camera stuck right in his fugly mug, and don't remove it until he takes the mound. (My next door cube dweller had the brilliant idea of hiring a karate master to be a cameraman for a day. Forget a 13-day suspension; how about the DL?)

Or they could pass out flashbulbs at Fenway tonight, to be set off every time Rogers winds up...

And when Rogers is warming up the p.a. should play that old Steely Dan song, "Peg" with the line "won't you smile for the camera."

Gentlemen, I give you:

"Coward of the County"

From Kenny Rogers' 20 Greatest Hits.

This must be played during warmups...

CHW/NYY 1-1 in the 10th , Mo in his 2nd inning....1 out, Uribe on 3rd...Podsednik up (0 and 2) and Everett in the hole...

Or "Make Love to the Camera" by the Starting Line

Excellent! I guess Mo's 30-save streak is OVAH.

Robinson Can?-no.

Bad guys lose 2-1 (again). 5.5 sounds good to me.

And the Magic Number...is at 45.

Incidentally, score was tied when Mo entered, so the save streak is intact. But I'm sure his save streak will keep him happy when he's sitting at home in October.


5 games ahead + x = 50 games remaining + 1?

The second 2-1 loss in a row. Time for the Bo$$ to blow a gasket and read the riot act to the $200 million payroll again.

What else is on the playlist for Kenny Rogers tonight? "Kodachrome" by Paul Simon? "Freeze Frame" by J. Geils?

Right, I have a bad habit of figuring out the Magic Number based on clinching a tie. You'd think '78 would have cured me of that...

AP NEW YORK -- The beleaguered New York Yankees took another hit Wednesday with Carl Pavano being declared out at least six more weeks with rotator cuff tendinitis.


Why you gotta go there, B?

I give up. I'm jumping off the bandwagon I climbed on in 1996. I admit I'm a fraud. I like small boys. I have a 1-inch member. I enjoy drinking urine. Happy now, Sox fans?

Hope nobody minds a little football news in the midst of what's looking like a great Sox day:

The Terrell Owens soap opera took its latest turn Wednesday, as the disgruntled Eagles wide receiver has left training camp and returned to his home in New Jersey, according to a report on Comcast Sportsnet.

FOXSports.com has learned that this latest incident was triggered when Owens refused to participate in a mandatory autograph session for wide receivers. After Owens was told by head coach Andy Reid that today was his turn to sign autographs, the wideout ignored the head coach and simply brushed past him.
In addition to this latest transgression, Owens has pretty much stopped communicating with members of the coaching staff. Sources have said that at times he has completely ignored some in the organization.

While Owens may believe his behavior can get him out of Philadelphia, team sources insist they will absolutely not trade the star wide receiver.

Owens had reported to camp despite suggestions that he might hold out. But after suffering a groin injury last Thursday, Owens had missed five of the last six practices.

On Wednesday, he ran some light routes and caught passes from a machine, but did not work with the team.

pawsoxpop, saw your comment yesterday about the "Entering Sharon" sign. I can describe it in detail, since in 1972 one of my fraternity brothers started sleeping with a girl named Sharon. We promptly drove over there, stole the sign, and propped it up outside his door for him and her to see one fine night. They still have it at the house all these years later. I bet that sign has been stolen many a time before and since then.

I just spit mochachino out my nose all over my computer. BigBri, glad to see you're back, and jumping off the Crankee bandwagon. Hope you catch a foul ball after you land in the net.
As long as you're here, I've got a Yankeeography joke for you. It's from the next episode of CSI...
Two cops arrive at a crime scene, where a beautiful naked girl has been killed. Over one breast is a Red Sox cap, over the other one is a Phillies cap, over her crotch is a Yankee cap.
One cop dutifully lifts each cap and writes what he sees in a notebook. After he lifts the Yankees cap he gets a puzzled look on his face and lifts it again. Then he scratches his head and lifts it again.
"What's wrong?" his partner asks.
"That's the first time I ever saw anything but an asshole underneath a Yankee cap."

Lord knows, this is a grand day in the Nation: pulling away in the standings, Yankee fans jumping into nets (thus saving us the trouble of chasing them with nets), Pavano out another six weeks, and now Jamie Moyer turns down a trade to NY...

However, the recent pitching has made me nervous. Sure, we've won 6 of the last 8, but the wins have come despite allowing 54 runs in those eight games. Granted, Texas has a high-powered offense, but KC and Minny do not. We have more than enough pitching to hold off the Yanks, since their staff is even worse, but this shit ain't gonna fly in the playoffs. Let's hope Foulke can be brought back from the dead and Schilling gets back to the top of the rotation where he belongs, and pronto...

Oldie but a goodie, PSP. The version I've heard is with a Cubbies hat instead of Phillies though (y'know, considering we're cousins and all)

I think my favorite is:

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the
coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the
Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless
man, wearing a New York Yankee's jersey, was struggling frantically to
free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men
aboard wearing Boston Red Sox jerseys. One quickly fired a harpoon into
the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding,
semi-conscious Yankee fan from the water. Then using (autographed Johnny
Damon) baseball bats, the three heroes in red beat the shark to death and
hauled it into the boat also.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you
my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was
some bitter hatred between Red Sox and Yankee fans, but now I have seen
with my own eyes that this is not the truth."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that?"

"It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has
access to all of God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he
doesn't know crap about shark fishing.... how's the bait holding up?"

Good one NV. The version I saw (I think it was on the Bloehards Website) has the pope watching from the shore at Hyannis.

Don't know why I never heard the CSI one before...

Maybe I'm the last one to see this too, but there's a very funny story in the NY Daily News Website about $teinbrenner fuming about Torre, and that's BEFORE today's 2-1 loss. Wouldn't it be hilarious if EMBREE causes Torre to be fired?

"I'm not pleased with the manager," Steinbrenner repeated. "I don't know why he left him in."

Maybe we need to do out own strip.

[ BHG ]: Brown haired guy.
[ BW ]: Brunette woman.

Setting: You already know the setting.

[ BHG ]: So, seems like the gambler fergot when to fold 'em last night.

[ BW ]: No shit, the Sox made chowdah out of that cowboy last night with their 16 run escapade. Don't they enforce the 10 run forfeit rule after the 3rd?

[ BHG ]: That's only in little league, which is where I imagine the Ranger's pitching coach is gonna be next year. [INSERT JOKE ABOUT MILLAR TAKING SVEUM'S JOB NEXT YEAR ]

.... someone else finish, I'm on the west coast and it's late.


No strip writing for me, but I will say since I have been getting up early (EDT), I have been noticing a few things.

First, did anyone else see the Mike Lowell "hidden ball play"..take about Sandlot deja vu..other players must hate him.....alot.

Bronson, back with the Cornrows....seems to have worked...go ahead, Arroyo, be as fugly as you want to be; just keep winning!

Hear than Bellhorn? That's Graffanino putting another nail in the coffin of your hopes of getting back into the lineup....but...there may be an opening at 3rd base....on the left side of the foul line!!

Finally, Millar actually said something reasonablly intelligent on NESN this morning, "If other teams want to intentionally walk or Ortiz to get to Manny, be our guests!" Exactly Kevin, but seriously, who wrote that for you?

Almost forgot....how could I....early morning NESN Sports desk with Hazel Mae (letting the twins peek out a little)...I love going to work with a stiffy. Thanks, Hazel!

Tito, thanks for teasing us non-NESN-available Sox fans (grrrrrr....) Would someone start a website with photos of the goddess Hazel from her TV stints so us poor bastards can see the glory of the twin milk cartons?

quoting bob: Excellent! I guess Mo's 30-save streak is OVAH

Sorry. He came in when the game was tied, not a save situation. The streak lives, and that's about the only thing that has gone right for the Bankees.

Tito seemed even more incoherent than usual after Wednesday's game in the NESN post-game interview
with Hazel. Then the camera pulled back and you could see why. Yow!

For those of you non-NESN folks, here are few URLs for a view of Hazel:

Bio page: http://www.boston.com/sports/nesn/aboutus/onair/hazelmae/

Video of broadcasts (1 day behind):

So, you poor bastards will have to wait until later today.

There was footage of Foulkie putting in bullpen work yesterday.

Pretty sure I saw a shirtless Tito leaning over the fence and observing.

I wonder if he was tempting Hazel Mae with his manliness?

I wonder what MRS. Francona thinks of all this, if it is indeed true...

Eeewww...for some reason, thinking of Tito having a wife (and sex) is like thinking of my parents doing it. I just threw up in my mouth.

Tito is taking extra-marital-affair-with-a-local-hot-female-sportscaster advice from D-Lowe, no doubt (and probably from Johnny Damon too).

Hey, anyone have any pics of what Tito looked like when he was a player (i.e. had hair)?

Check out his rookie card:


Wow- $4.00 for a Tito rookie card? I'm thinking last year brought it up from the $.85 it was at before. What happened to the value of baseball cards anyway?

I started getting uncomfortable flashbacks of tues. night's game last night in the 8th. SP leaves with a 7-2 lead. Relief immediately starts hemmoraging hits, and next thing you know it's 7-5. Holy shit. At the end of the inning I left to walk over to PetCo and, much to my pleasured surprise, by the time I found my seats there was a good ol' 12 spot on the board. Now THAT'S offense. Nice outing by Saturn Balls last night though. I gusee he fixed whatever was ailing him in 'Sota. Must be Cornrow-yo.

Hidden ball trick? Effective, but what a dick. If I was that guy on third, I think I would've slapped him (not Slappy McBluelips style, mind you- more like Shaft style)

C'mon. Chicks supposedly dig bald...or should I say follicularly-challenged guys (at I frequently remind my girlfriend). You know Tito is a stud if he appears on the cover a magazine with the word "BEAVER" on the top. Check it out: http://www.wqed.org/mag/beaver/index.shtml

Okay, so its a magazine about Beaver County, Pennslyvannia, but still......

Bob, did you notice the position Tito is holding his bat in that card? Maybe Hazel saw that card and thought, "hmmm, that's a mighty big BAT he's holding..." and who knows, maybe she's the type of woman who makes analogies to position-of-bat to size-of-male-bat...

I admit, I'm just jealous I'm not going downtown on Hazel Mae on a regular basis - or even semi-regular...

Or even at all, Scott. But just wait until the divorce is final and you can make your move on Trinka Lowe.

I'm saving myself for Kelly the ball-girl (appropriately titled, hopefully).

These Hazel Mae posts are likely to degenerate into "Does she have body piercings/tattoos," "Do you think she swings both ways? Drunk or Sober?" etc. We can but dream... lol

Well if you want to see a local (Cleveland) female newscaster nude, Google "Catherine Bosley" (not work safe obviously) - she's the newscaster that got booted off the air early 2004 when nude pics of her at a Key West wet-t-shirt contest the previous month made it to the Internet. Nice body too (and the first female newscaster I've seen with tats).

So I guess we'll have to wait until Hazel takes a winter vacation to the tropics. Or get the paparazzi out and see if she sunbathes in her backyard (or on her apartment rooftop) :)

Tito shirtless was simultaneously weird, yet compelling. If a guy is already hot, and then he's bald, so much the better in most cases.

Hair aside, are we going to see more of Delcarmen? He was pretty solid.

It was fun to watch Delcarmen, yes.

He throws some heat, but without great control. Overthrowing? I saw one (?) curveball in the whole appearance. He dropped it well, but didn’t get the call.

I’d love to see him learn a change against that 92-94mph cheese. Then, he’d be a legit strikeout guy. None exist in the Sox bullpen as far as I can tell.

Tito had real lats--he's mad jacked, yo.

All of you,

Please suck on the snotty end of my bang stick.

Pawsoxpop - that joke is as old as the hills. Get some new material. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE keep underestimating the Yanks. PLEASE set yourselves up for a September surrender. I'll be here to remind you all of how foolish you've been.

BigBri (Yankee fan since '66)


I didn't think you could develop a worse schedule than this year's. 4 series against the yanks in a month's time? None of the games on the weekend?? May???

W.T.F...did they hire BigBri to schedule these things? How about regularly spacing them through the season and making almost all of them on the weekends. That's a thought. Make it so we see the season series develop over time and stew until the very end. Maybe 2 of them are home to home series just to spice it up.

What's 2007 hold? The entire season series against the Yankees to be held for the entire month of September?


Your pitching staff is in absolute shambles.
The MFY can not win games that they score less than 4 runs in (1-30)
The MFY are in 4th place in the wild card.
The MFY are 5.5 back in the division (and sliding)
Your outfielders are deer in headlights.
Your manager is about to be fired.
You have an undercover agent sabatoging your bullpen.
Your $205 mil. squad is the biggest bunch of frauds to ever put on a baseball uniform.

Take your snotty bang stick and shove it up your ass, you delusional, pole-smoking jackbag.

Now, now, NV, go easy on LilBri. You'd be spouting nonsense too if you'd been holed up in your folks' basement for the past month watching nothing but your brand new DVD of Season 2 of "That '70s Show" starring Billy, Bucky and the Boss:


From redsox.com

Hansen named newest Sea Dog


Let's see what this young gun's got.

NV - You've mentioned ALL those things (some of them even true/accurate!) and yet, the SAWX STILL CAN'T PULL AWAY! How horrible will you feel when this team that you've described as such a disaster knocks the SAWX out of the playoffs???
You are TRULY and Ass-Hat if there ever was one. Almost worth the trip to 'SD' to laugh at you in person. LOL what a tool...

PSP - your characterizations of me are truly laughable. Just sit on your lounge chair outside your trailer in PAH-Tucket and down another Milwaukee's Best.

Hm. So the MFY won their game in hand and the Red Sox have a 5 game division lead. Looks promising. At this stage of the season, collapses are usually due to the pitching staff going south, not the offense. Which pitching staff do I like better, Sox or MFY? I think the former. Schilling's looking to get back in the rotation and has looked reasonable in his last few save situations. Foulke is talking upbeat, and after being mysteriously ineffective earlier in the season it may be that the problem was actually figured out and fixed. While there's a huge question mark about Foulke yet, I think it's reasonable to be optimistic about Schilling.

So there's a reasonable chance that the pitching staff of the division leader is about to improve some. Which it needs to, given it's performance against the Rangers. Given that the staff of the MFY is degrading (despite the addition of Leiter (sp?)), the MFY probably will be fortunate to make the wild card spot. While the Red Sox *could* be caught by the MFY, I don't think it's a wise place to put your money.

These next 3 games for both teams will be worth observing closely. The MFY out-slugged Texas yesterday; can they do that 3 more games? Texas seems like they're able to score runs, so the MFY will have to be able to keep up.

Meanwhile, the Red Sox are about to play 3 games against a team that has played well in tight games all year and hasn't been giving up very many runs. If they can get to the White Sox's pitching staff, they should win. But they shouldn't expect many gifts from the White Sox defense, and they better be ready to have their own defense challenged by patient hitters hitting behind the runner, bunting, and stealing bases. If the Red Sox can win 2 out of 3 this weekend, they have a good chance to pick up another game in the standings.

When are they going to do a piece on Kelly the Ball Girl?

The Sox won the last game that Buehrle started (July 21) so I'm optimistic about tonight, especially since Wells has pitched really well lately. I think there is a very good chance we go 2-1 this weekend. Meanwhile, I think the Rangers are capable of beating Leiter tonight, although their free-swinging ways may work against them with all the junk he throws.
Bri, I have to give you credit. You know how to pronounce my hometown, and you have bravely volunteered to show up here and take our abuse like a man even as the wheels fall off your beloved $200 million team. When the playoffs start, maybe Jeter and Sheffield can come over to my trailer and have a few beers with us while we watch the Sox defend their championship.

PSP - I eagerly await the start of the playoffs. But the only way you'll get Jeter and co. over to your trailer is if they are on your T.V. If you hold the rabbit ear antenna just right, you can get reception, right?

I'm talking about the 2005 postseason, not the 1977 or 1999 one they'll be showing on the YES Network.

Boomah has definitely been on a roll recently, and his starts at home have been treating him well, so hopefully the trend continues. While we're facing the heart of the ChiSox rotation, I expect for the offense to continue their slugging ways. Papi is due for a breakout any time here.

BigBitch- Come on out, brah. I'll be at the airport looking for the transvestite in the Yanks hat. How's your blog going? Make any complimentary comments to yourself recently?

Quit paying attention to the moron.

Although I wouldn't call the Sox a lock, I'd bet a lot of money things'll be looking good in late September. Pitching staff can probably only get better with Schilling back in the rotation, and if (big IF) Foulke is up to snuff again, a lot of the bullpen problems are eased. Yankees' new guys are over-performing (though Small might actually be as good as his numbers...four starts, four excellent performances), their middle relief is even worse than the Sox' (Torre doesn't trust anyone besides Rivera, it's clear after last night's game...and not without reason), and Pavano is out for the season. Good stuff.


Funny, seems like the Sox lead in the division has been growing since the spanks last held the division lead for all of about 18 hours. uh oh, they gained half a game on an idle team! whoa look out! Well, there was that point where the lead DID shrink to 2.5 games. But with that gritty performance they turned in last night, the yankees managed to close to within double that margin. Look out, they're on the up and up - I hear their pitchers (whoever they are) struck out a batter or two, and even Bernie Williams managed to get to a few flares to center.

Seems like I spoke too soon about the lack of idiocy around here. But while BigBri might have had a conceivable reason to gloat when, you know, the Yankees were contenders and stuff, now it's kinda sad, like watching some old fart complain about what's on TV.

Wait - it's pronounced PAH-tucket? Is it different, depending on which part of town you're from? My dad's family is from there, and they always pronounce it "P'tucket." Ah, the joys of quibbling over minutiae...

PSP - that's a good one. The YES network does love to live in the past. However, I'm talking about 2005 as well.

NV - You are the classic internet 'tough guy'. So fierce behind your keyboard, but you'd wet your pants and call for your momma if the feces ever hit the wind ocsillator (look it up). I know you can't stand the fact that my blog treats your SAWX like the little bitches they are. Get over it little man.

Bastard Son - You are truly a dim sunuvabitch. With all the pitching woes the Yanks have had, the SAWX SHOULD have been able to put this race to bed during the last month. But they haven't. They can't. They are NOT able to produce when it counts and the Yanks will make them pay going down the stretch.

Can't wait for the 2005 Yankee highlight DVD -

'Faith Rewarded. The Nitty, Gritty 2005 Yanks put and end to the World Series drought and fullfill the lifelong dreams of 5-year-olds everywhere'.

Have a great weekend everyone. I'll check back in on Monday after you've been swept by the White Sox.

You are right Aaron, it's pronounced P'tucket. But I was just trying to give Bri some credit for trying, and at least coming closer than the TV announcers who pronounce it PAW-took it (like in the obscene limerick about the girl from Nantucket ... or was it the Pop from Pawtucket. Oh #@$% it.
NV, I hope the offsensive breakout continues, but I think there may be a pause while the White Sox are in town. I think an offensive breakout against that staff would be five runs. I also hope some of those guys used the offday to take a few ground balls because the errors of the past few weeks will be unacceptable against the ChiSox. Batting Practice may resume against Detroit and Tampa Bay, however.
And I want to reconsider my invitation for the playoffs. Jeter can come over and watch, and maybe Riviera, but I better not invite Sheffield and Juicin' Giambi. I don't want the Balco boys polluting our trailer park tykes ...

I know everyone says that the Sox' remaining schedule is favorable, but the next two weeks concern me. I'll be happy if they can manage to go 2-1 against the Chisox. I'm wary about going into Detroit, and then Anaheim, although at least they finish the road trip in KC. If they get to the homestand that starts 8/26 against Detroit with a decent lead in the division, then they should be in really good shape from there.

This bullpen is really gonnna drive me crazy though. Good thing the lineup can mash...and good thing Manny remains in the middle of it.

Amen to that. A lineup that can score runs on anybody's pitching is a luxury that few teams have. I'm glad ours is one of them.

The team, as currently constructed, has enough to hold off the MFYs, since their pitching is in even worse shape. I can't see them going far in the playoffs, however, without the return of Foulke to the bullpen and Schilling to the top of the rotation. The teams we are most likely to see in the playoffs - Chicago, Oakland, and Anaheim (I refuse to use that stupid-ass "LA Angels of Anaheim" name) can all pitch. Luckily, none of them have an offense that really scares you.

**I'll check back in on Monday after you've been swept by the White Sox.**

Hmmm - kind of a big boast from a fan (?) of a team that almost got swept themselves earlier this week.

AJM, I think they'll do fine in Detroit; and Anaheim is not as scary as they were in the first half. Our bullpen is very adventurous to say the least, but at least we have a bunch of young arms in the minors who might be able to help out as September callups. All in all, things are looking good. And don't forget, the other teams in the division don't have very easy schedules either.

Based on remaining sched's
Sox @ Home - 27 remaining games
Sox @ Away - 22 remaining games
Projected home wins (based on home record this year): 18
Projected away wins (based on home record this year): 11. Sox final record: 95W 67L

MYF @ Home - 23 remaining games
MFY @ Away - 27 remaining games
Projected home wins (based on home record this year): 14
Projected away wins (based on home record this year): 12. MFY final record: 87W 75L

Sox = Division Champs
October + MFY = Golf

oops- I meant 'away record' where I doubled up the 'home record' in each projection.

I'm thinking it's got to be time to start stretching Schill out. I picture a start by some other bullpen guy (Gonzalez most likely) that goes 3-4 innings, then stick Curt in there for as long as he feels like going. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. The set we've got coming up vs kc/det/tb would be a perfect time to work something like this in.

AJM- I can't say that the remaining schedule is favorable, rather the location of games. With the exception of the late series vs the D-Rays, Sept is shaping up to be a pretty tough month. LAA, two vs the Jays (who, if things keep going the way they have, could make the WC interesting), two vs MFY, and Oakland. We defintely need to take full advantage of every opportunity that presents itself, esp. vs the likes of KC, Detroit, and TB.

Sorry. Had to drop by one more time. I was hoping scott would lend his meager I.Q to the conversation.

Scott - 'Boasting' is when you brag about your own team. 'Predicting' is when you inform a group of SAWX fans that their beloved team is about to be swept by the CHI-SOX. Aand finally, 'Bitch Slapping' is what the CHI-SOX will do to you this weekend (yet another PREDICTION). Can you keep all of that straight? Ask one of the other guys to explain it to you in email if necessary.

Jimmy Z - What was the 'concensus' last year when the SAWX were down 0-3 in the ALCS? That's why they PLAY the games and don't rely on past performance to predict future outcomes.

NV - great idea! Let's have the bullpen start a bunch of games as we go down the stretch so that Curt - PLEASE SHUT THE F UP - Schilling can get his ancient body up an running. Good luck with all that!

Have a GREAT weekend everybody!

Bri - You're an asshole. Go away & die now please.

My Princess - I LOVE it when you talk dirty to me baby!

Beat me! Whip me! Make me wear a Johnny Damon wig and throw like a 10 year old girl!

You are my Princess and I am your Big Papi!

look at me! I’m Big! I’m outrageous! Look! I’m BigBri! I’m somebody!

I’m almost 40 years old but I hurl insults like an adolescent! Look! I’m Big!

I HAVE nothing going on in my life but the 26 time World Champions Yankees and they are ancient history! It’s like talking shit about the 49ers!

I’m rude to females over the internet but I look at others and say, “hey, you’re a classic internet tough guy.”

i’m deluded! i’m not even from the city! I’m from Massapequa or somewhere!

pay attention! I’m bigbri!

Aww, Ice Princess, you can't mean that. Without BigBri, who would remind us of how neurotic Yankees fans get when their team starts to suck serious ass. It's like they can't even process it - "what? we're losing? we can't! The YES network won't allow it!" But when you've got a guy with a walker in center field and *the* worst signal caller in the majors behind the plate (compare Yankee ERAs when Posada catches vs. Flaherty), I can see how you'd need some delusions to maintain your worldview. It's gotta be tough, looking up at the Twins and the Indians in the wild card race.

But I can't begrudge BigBri his razor-sharp wit, nosireebob. Did you all read that line up there calling NV an "internet tough guy" and me a "dim sunovabitch"? BigBri may be rooting for a team that will be lucky to finish out ten games over .500 and has all but eliminated their playoff hopes, but he sure can read us 'SAWX' fans like a book, eh? Must be that superior 'NEW YAWK' intellect.

What is the official explanation of why their official name is "The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" anyway? (Must have cost a fortune to redo the stationery). I had heard it's because the current owners did not want to be associated with Anaheim and wanted to be associated with L.A.? Or they wanted to move the team to L.A. proper and MLB wouldn't let them do it so this was the compromise? I heard it was a stupid reason anyway...

For a team that's had 3 location changes in the past decade ("California"/"Anaheim"/the current one), you think someone would just say enough....

and if you thought Bush Sr and his prune-face wife throwing out the first pitch Wednesday was bad, check this out (from Yahoo! News):

(emphasis mine)

SACRAMENTO, Calif. - Concert tickets for major acts are costly, but $100,000 to see the Rolling Stones? That's the price to join Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger in a luxury box at the Stones' Aug. 21 show at Boston's Fenway Park. The event will cap a multistate fundraising swing that begins next week for Schwarzenegger's Nov. 8 special election.

WTF is AH-NULD doing on this coast anyway? Giving Giambi, Sheff, Palmeiro, etc. more 'roids?

Aw shit! I can't leave now. I was hoping to step out and start my weekend, but now I've got to hang with you knuckleheads.

Bri - That was funny. Completely untrue and off the mark, but funny. Do you REALLY think I was 'rude' to the Ice Princess? Do you really think I was acting like a 'tough guy' with her?

Bastard Son - That's right. Posada is the WORST catcher in the majors. You are VERY astute. At least my guy doesn't need a 'C' on his chest to remind him he's a catcher. Make all the predicitons you like about the Yankees chances. You have written them off all year long and been wrong all along.

pawsoxpop: The only reason I'm a little concerned about the Detroit series is that Comerica is a pitcher's park, and I can see the Sox' bats cooling off a little bit and the team losing a couple of fluky 5-2 or 4-3 games. Hope I'm wrong. Anaheim hasn't been playing well lately, although I guess it would be too much to ask for to have KRod pull another bonehead move like he did yesterday in Oakland.

NV in SD: I agree about Schilling...I'm ready to see him back in the rotation. Unfortunately, for the moment we probably still need him closing for another couple weeks.

Heh, I saw that highlight reel from the A's game yesterday. What a couple of morons. I bet that sorry display didn't win K-Rod and Molina many friends. But then they've got a great manager to inspire them: Scioscia's always been a fine example of how to piss and moan at umpires.

"Aw shit! I can't leave now. I was hoping to step out and start my weekend, but now I've got to hang with you knuckleheads."

heh, like BigBri isn't sitting in his mom's basement hitting reload every two minutes. Good thing too to have someone providing cheap laughs while h.b.'s away...

You'll notice that he only comes out and beats his chest and howls at the tide now when h.b.'s away. Almost like he's afraid of him...

Yeah, you're right about Comerica being a pitcher's park, but I'm hoping that will help our pitchers. Another thing that should make us optimistic is that Graffanino has been a significant upgrade to our infield defense and our lineup. That deal and keeping Manny on the team were the best moves that Theo made in late July. I mean, yeah, you can't just extrapolate backwards and as Jimy Williams said: "You have to play the schedule." But I still think the schedule favors us down the stretch, especially if Foulke can get back in a couple of weeks and Schilling can get into the rotation. NV, I'm with you on wishing Schilling could start more quickly, but I think we need him as closer until Foulke proves he's ready for primetime again. I'd be more comfortable giving spot starts to guys like Papelbon and DiNardo when the September callups arrive and keeping Schill in the pen until we are certain that Foulke can close games effectively.

Time for my summer vacation. Have a great week everyone. And don't worry about Bri, Ice Princess. Pretty soon he'll be over in the Jersey swamps, watching Jets or Giants training camp.

Bastard Son - Yeah, that's right. I live in my folks basement. You've got it all figured out. Just like you have the AL East figured out. How wrong you are and how MUCH I will enjoy the next month and a half and your SAWX spit the bit.

Brian (however did we come to share the same name?) - Listen to me closely. I think I can help you here.

- bend your knees

- place your HANDS on your knees

- lean forward as FAR as you can without falling over

- Reach back and up and....

- Pull your HEAD out of your ass!!!

If you believe that I **ONLY** comment here when h.b. is away you just haven't been paying attention.

Understood that we need Schill where he is for the time being. I'm just saying that if they keep him going on these 1-2 inning stints, there's no way he'll be prepared to go start and go 6-8 in a couple of weeks. I'd just like to see him maybe come in the game a little earlier, like the seventh instead of the ninth. Plus it would give the bullpen some rest. We'll see.

h.b., I hope you realize now why you can't take anymore of these 3-day breaks for work.

So, anybody going to the Stones concert at Fenway?

I've got mail. Yayyy!!!!!

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