The devil will find work for idle hands to do

The morning after an off day …

Mike:
You know I more and more dread the off days because, with no game to discuss, our beloved media members have a bit too much time on their hands …

 

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Doug:
Absolutely. With no game they're more than likely to believe their own hype and think they actually have something erudite and profound to type out for the unwashed masses.

 

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Mike:
Right, so last day off we had Tomase issuing his idiotic pronouncement that "Manny doesn't care" and today we get Massarotti admonishing us that, lo and fucking behold, Keith Foulke "doesn't have to sit there and take it" when he's booed.

 

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Doug:
Jeez, thanks for setting the record straight on that, Tones, that's so friggin' sagacious of you to come up with that one. Wow, you da man.

 

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Mike:
Now that Mazz has set the record straight, I'm pissed at Serena Williams … I mean when she was getting jeered by the crowd at the French Open in 2003 she shouldn't have just sat there taking it.

 

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Doug:
No kidding. She should have said, "I don't care if Pierre from Au Bon Pain rolling baguettes boos me … I'm not inviting him to my victory pahty."

 

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Mike:
Absolutely. I'm so effin' glad Keith Foulke is toughah than Serena Williams. I can now sleep soundly knowing this whole thing is settled.

 

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Doug:
Hey, any 4th of July long weekend plans lined up?

 

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Mike:
Yeah, I was thinking I'd take out the bike and head up to Cow Hampshire for a drive in the mountains … take in the views, you know?

 

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Doug:
Right on. Up on the Kancamagus people will take extreme measures to get that elusive view they so cherish.

 

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Mike:
Fucking-A, dude. You know terrorists may get all the attention, but when it comes to focus and asymmetric means to an end, the perverts are in a league of their own.

 

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Comments

[scott12xu]

HB - typo patrol here... 3rd frame should read "Foulke doesn't have to sit there..." (no "e" after "sit").

Have a safe weekend, all. Go Sawx. I'll (hopefully) be watching from the beach in Savannah, GA this weekend.

[h.b.]

Thanks for the alert.

Savannah is a beautiful city. Love that Spanish moss.

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

In the intro, "AND" should be "AN."

Every time you think the Internet has brought you all that you can fathom, some guy goes and hides in a port-a-pottie. Or makes a short film in a supermarket.

[SawxSince67]

"Police said he was in the waste tank ..."

Get-the-fuck-out-of-here!!!!!

Where are you in your life if you're so motivated to catch the proverbial "beaver shot" that you'd endure squatting in poo for even a second?

Any thoughts on grabbing Stanton if he clears? Kills Lefties...not so RH...or maybe two (Myers) LOOGYs makes no sense...never mind...

NH, huh? I-95N? 495? 93? The horror...

[AJM]

Does Tony Mazzhole actually work at being a moron, or does it just come naturally?

[scott12xu]

Re: The guy in the waste tank hoping to get primo beaver shots:

Makes sense it was in New Hampshire - the spirit of native son GG Allin carries on 12+ years after his death. Also makes sense the guy in question was from Gardiner, Maine. People from that section of the state are... uh... messed up.

[h.b.]

I keep wondering, was the guy just in the area and spotted the porta potty and thought, "A-yuh, looks like I can get theyah from heah!" or did he drive all the way from Gardiner to be at that specific spot? Fascinating in a most twisted way.

[Bob Shiffrar]

The port-a-john pervert has fascinating parallels with mainstream sportwriters. They can't play the game, so they watch it from their little s..t-hole (the pressbox).

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

well played, Bob.

I don't know how you guys even read the sportswriters anymore. I just check the game reports and the stats and maybe top news from espn.com. Sportswriters annoy me so much I usually only read the NY rags after a yankee loss (which is quite often these days). I used to read Rob Neyer religiously, until they realized what they had and made people pay for the privelege.

Incidentally I think word should be mentioned about the stealth province of Red Sox Nation in upstate New York. Apparently the Kingston area has a loyal contingent of Red Sox fans. I've seen quite a few Sox caps up there and the Hudson Valley papers, while calling the Yankees the home team, have a clear Boston bent -- I've seen at least three or four references to the Beantown Bombers in those stories. Last time I was there I was asked to send a couple caps back from Boston.

[pudge]

Dewey's Bastard: totally. I never read those guys unless h.b. links to them or something, and then only sometimes. The only "Sox writer" I can stand is Bill Simmons, and if he became an actual beat writer, I doubt I could stand him, either. And I only read him when he is writing about the Sox, because life is too short (memo to The Sports Guy: just because there is no limited space online, doesn't mean you should actually write forever).

[SawxSince67]

"Red Sox Nation in upstate New York"

Yeah, Ill Son of Dewey, as a resident of an Albany, NY suburb, I have seen many a Sox cap on area residents--more than I expected.

Lived in Albany proper prior to that and though it is chock full of SUNY students from Long Island, NYY and Sox caps were equally represented, even before the WS title...

Moved from NYC (born, raised--though Dad from Somerville, MA)in 2001, but I understand the Sox caps are now visible down there as well. Used to be a rarity.

"made people pay for the privilege"

Even some (former) BSG content has INSIDER pay prompts...whore.

[pawsoxpop]

H.B., I was very surprised that the Soxaholix did not take this story from boston.com and hit it out of the park:

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2005/07/01/birth_of_a_new_nation/

Yeah, Simmons has done some excellent columns on the Sox and the Celtics, but if I wanted to read 5,000-word essays on the best sports movies of all time, I'd enroll in a film course and at least get three credits for it. And the minute-by-minute diary of the NBA finals would have been much better if it had about 150 fewer minutes in it. Like most good writers, he could use a good editor.

[NV in SD]

Uh-oh...Foulke's on Dale and Holley right now...

[h.b.]

Had to pass on the "getting busy in WS celebration" article as it didn't dovetail as well with the perv in the pooper as the Mazz piece did :)

[Ric]

sports guys essays on sports movies are hilarious. film class it ain't. its page 2 entertainment. signed, bill simmons defender

[Tessie]

I'm glad that teenager knew she didn't have to just sit there and take those leers....

[Aaron]

Lord, how I miss campin' on "the Kanc" over Fourth of July weekend. The only comparable experience near my current digs is the North Cascades Highway. The mountains out here are bigger, but it just ain't the same.

Of course, my warm, fuzzy Kanc memories would certainly be different now if I had ever thought there were people hiding in the porto-potties...

I second scott12xu's observation about the pervo being from Gardiner, ME. As a native of the state, I can state without hesitation that the southernmost three counties (which include Portland and at least half of Maine's population) might as well be a different universe from the rest of the state. I never understood most of the stereotypes about my state until I spent four years up in Orono for college. Ye gods, that was scary.

Of course, that was back in the days when we were pounding the mortal shit out of BU and BC in hockey every weekend, so there were some benefits...:)

[NV in SD]

Can't say I agree with you theah Aaron. I'm from Sagadahoc county and it, along with Androscoggin and Kennebec county (home of Gardiner and Augusta) is pretty well developed, and definitely not in the same world as your Penobscot, Piscataquis, and Arrostook counties. That's where the scary yokels live, and where I would expect that someone like the porta-potty peeper would be from. Then again, I've heard of some pretty freaky shit going on in Portland, too.

Go Black Bears!

[scott12xu]

I used to be from Portland, ME so NV in SD's post may or may not have some truth to it. It's a big town with lots of different people there... but I believe once you get north of Bangor, that's when the weirdness begins...

[Ric]

there was a similar discussion about citizens of Maine about 2-3 months ago... what's going on herre?

[Aaron]

No game last night to talk about. It's Tangent Day. :)

[Aaron]

Plus, HB's mention of the Kancamagus gives me an wicked awesome excuse to break out the immortal phrase "headin' up the Kanc."

[DQM]

Peter Farrelly, Director of Fever pitch, can't field and it is a good thing. Forunate for him, it would have been fan interference. Director by day, Dolt by evening. Great Site, long live Sox Nation!