Power to the people

On a slow news day, The Soxaholix have to peel back the layers to reveal the big stories …

Bill:
You know, instead of calling in to talk radio or commenting on blogs and message boards, irate Red Sox fans should really take to the streets with a naked protest.

 

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Doug:
Oh, yes, absolutely. If I said it once, I've said it a thousand times: There is nothing like a naked protest to earnestly get one's point across and make the oppressahs bend to your will. I mean if a lezbo chick with big tits and a beard were holding a sign on Yawkey Way reading "Trade Manny!" what friggin choice would the front office have?

 

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Bill:
Would that really be enough or would you also need "inflated scrotum old hippie guy" to take to the Boston streets as well?

 

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Doug:
Christ, I'm so disappointed our old friend the inflated nut sack old dude. I mean he goes from this career peak to only this half-inflated crap?

 

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Bill:
Yeah, but the dude's a total gamah, though. I mean he's out there naked doing his paht even when he can't get a full nutsack inflation.

 

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Doug:
Manny take note: Does inflated nutsack old guy need a day off? No fucking way! Even the dreaded half-inflated scrotum won't deter him from helping his team of anarchists.

 

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Bill:
Fercrissakes our children need role models and shit.

 

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Comments

[Damien]

That is laugh out loud funny.

You. Are. Bad.

[Ric]

e-gad!!!
that bearded broad bears a strong resemblance to one of the traitoruous Scottish lords from Braveheart...

[Joe in Philly]

Where are all the good looking, naked anarchists when you need them?

[SawxSince67]

The Manny Hating--at least as promoted by The Globe--is just ridiculous.

"SURVEY: Will Ramirez be cheered or booed?"

My Edict: He who boos Manny or any other Red Sox playah will have their RSN privileges suspended for one entire Home series.

Grumble, throw your hands up in disgust and swear, but to collectively rain abuse on Manny Fucking Ramirez?

Yah, the edict is not enforceable--I don't have that kind of time--but whatevah...

[scott12xu]

I mean this with all seriousness: When Manny comes up to bat the first time, instead of cheers/boos/etc., the crowd chants "Stay With The Sox" ovah and ovah... hope that doesn't sound wimpy...

[h.b.]

"Where are all the good looking, naked anarchists when you need them?"

PETA gets them all. Check out this (not work safe!) PETA protest against a "lack of oral sex". (Nope, I'm not making this shit up.)

[Bergs]

HB - "On a slow news day", not "one a slow news day"...feel free to delete this once corrected.

[beth]

//Fercrissakes our children need role models and shit.//

lmmfao

[Voodoo Vern]

Jesus H. Christ, I think bombs might be preferable to Berkeley breats....

[NV in SD]

Sorry, I had to do it - just because of my post yesterday ("What's most shocking to me is that it isn't even the CHB leading the charge. I'm sure he's just letting the noise reach its crescendo before writing some scathing bullshit article demaiding that Manny be sent out of town on rails. What an asshole."). He're's some juicy tidbits for those who avoid CHB articles like the plague:

"you can bet he'll been greeted like Charles Lindbergh when he takes his place in left field on the Fenway lawn -- proving again that it's impossible to insult Red Sox fans as long as you produce."

"In Gordon Edes's fine column on these pages yesterday..."

"So where are the leaders of this team when Manny stands down? Where's the clubhouse outrage over Manny's abject indifference? Where's captain Jason Varitek or know-it-all Curt Schilling? Where's nail-spitting Trot Nixon? Where's Kevin Millar, who has an opinion on everything? Where's David Ortiz, a fellow slugger who can communicate with Manny in the language of their homeland?"

What a fucking jackass. I heard that the only team interested in a trade is (surprise) the Mets. I don't know, but something tells me that if his problem is with lack of privacy, moving to NY insn't going to help the situation at all.

Nothing is going to happen here, with the exception that a few too many people read these bullshit articles that the bullshit artists at the Globe keep writing and boo Manny as he takes the field tonight which, as I said yesterday, could be the beginning of the end.

I fucking HATE Shaughnessy.

[Ice Princess]

I could have gone my whole life without seeing that link. Old guys are gross-I'm never getting married.

Manny better stay... I think he's probably clueless as to how much of an issue this has become. Besides, where could he go & still enjoy being as spoiled as he's been with Boston? What, does he miss Petey?

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

NV, You'd think CHB would find the answer to his own question in calling out just about every player on the team. Let's see, if nobody's calling out Manny, maybe it's because they don't read the CHB weekly vitriol and take cues for how to handle their business with teammates?

You'd also think that these guys would, at least eventually, realize that the goings-on in the clubhouse aren't affected in the slightest by hack sportswriters. You'd think. I mean, I shed my world-revolves-around-me mentality when I was 13. I guess some people have it worse.

[pawsoxpop]

Thanks HB for the LOL strip today. After looking at that wicked gross link, I thought I was prepared to tackle Shaughnessy's column. Alas I was wrong. Excuse me while I swallow another gulp of Maalox ...

To paraphrase the 10 zillionth Springsteen quote that the CHB has slipped into another lame column: "The columnists down here don't write nothin' at all, they just rip off 30-year-old rock songs."

If Shaughnessy wrote for the Globe in the 1940s, does anyone doubt that he would be trashing Ted Williams right along with all the other "Knights of the Keyboard"? And how many of the sheeple who read his column would be all set to click on the "boo Ted" icon if they had Internet polls in those days. No wonder the guy never tipped his cap. Some things don't change.

Stop the stupid Manny bashing and maybe the guy won't ask to be traded. Even some of the Yankee fans I work with have been more patient with Juiceon Giambi (talk about a guy who's disgraced the uniform!) than many Sox fans have been with Manny. One New Yorker I work with can't understand what the big deal is at all. "A ballplayer NEEDS a day off once in awhile," he told me. AND HE'S A YANKEE FAN!!!

I'm with you, NV. Shaughnessy proves once again that he's a jerk. I will be ready to lose my voice cheering for Manny on Saturday during my one and only visit to Fenway this year.

[Aaron]

People, people, people, you just don't understand Shaughnessy's pain! He managed to build a very lucrative out of bitching about Bambino's Curse, and now he doesn't have that anymore. No more "woe is us" books to rake in the dough. He's out millions! Of course he's angry and bitter and trying to cause a squabble any way he can. People who suddenly find themselves completely irrelevant usually are bitter.

You can set your watch by Manny trade demands. And just like every other Manny trade demand, this one is going absolutely nowhere. He's owed too much money for anybody other than a New York team to afford him, and we're obviously not trading him to the Yankees. That leaves the Mets, who have nothing we'd want in return....except maybe Pedro. Just kidding.

And as for those nutsack and flabby man-breast pictures:

"My eyez! Ze goggles do nozzing!"

[Aaron]

Whoops, that should've read "very lucrative CAREER out of bitching." I should really take the mittens off before I start typing.

[Jason O.]

As Charles Barkley once said:

"Inflated nut-sack guy is not a role model"

Nothing like a few links to some photos of Berkeley moonbats to finally shake off the vacation humor cobwebs, eh HB?

[Boston Fan in Michigan]

Holy cats. Sometimes I get annoyed with the conservative nature of the area surrounding my decidedly midwestern school (although the city the university itself is in is quite liberal), but sometimes, upon seeing things like this, I'm really, really glad it's not Berkley-esque.

[NYSoxfan]

thanks HB, I needed a good laugh at my sorry ass desk today. Reading the Murray Chass NY Times column on the subway to work today made me nauseous. He trashed Manny last year and writes this "I told you so" piece in which he breaks his arm patting himself on the back. Yeah OK, we'll trade Manny to the Mets. Who does Murray the Red Sox hater come up with? Cliff Floyd. Thanks Murray, been there done that. Mike Cameron? Please. If Sox are going to make Manny the new king of Queens, how about Pedro straight up? OK, throw in Piazza who we deal to the Phillies for Wagner. Otherwise Manny can stay in left field and keep hitting bombs in a Red Sox uniform till 2008 for all I care. As Michael Corleone said to Moe Greene, you wanna talk business Murray? Now we're talking business. Let's talk business.

[scott12xu]

Couldn't we (meaning anybody who wants to get rid of the f***er and who knows the right people) send Shaughnessy to a USO tour of the worst part of Iraq?? In the middle of insurgent territory?? And just LEAVE him there? PLEASE?????

Fucking hack - if he shows up at Fenway, everyone boo HIM! (and shower him with food, paper, used feminine hygiene products, etc.)

[pawsoxpop]

Scott,
Don't you think the troops in Iraq (not to mention the poor Iraqis) have suffered enough without sending Shaughnessy out there? Or do you want to encourage more suicide bombers?

[pawsoxpop]

Scott,
Don't you think the troops in Iraq (not to mention the Iraqis) have enough problems without sending Shaughnessy out there? Or do you want to encourage more suicide bombers?

[pawsoxpop]

Yikes, did I just post that piece of drivel twice? I must have had a Manny moment. I demand to be traded for ToledoMudHensPop.

[Aaron]

As punishment for the grievous sin of posting twice, PawSoxPop shall henceforth be known as ColumbusClippersPop.

Oh, wait a minute, that's the Yankees AAA team. I apologize for that horrible insult. Please forgive me.

[SawxSince67]

No Wade Miller tonight--Brandon.

He last pitched on the 24th? Should be OK.

[NV in SD]

Nah, PSP- you're just getting sent to Hadlock- SeaDogsPop it is.

Why was Miller scratched? He pitched fucking great last time out. For the love of God we CAN NOT lose another starting pitcher. I'm thinking that it's just to help organize the rotation as Matty's probably going to miss a start? Or maybe a prospective trade partner wants to see BroYo in action one last time before sunday? Shots in the dark, really.

[da kine]

Maybe this is one of those things that is so obvious we miss it, but is CHB even a fucking fan? Does he like the team? I seriously think he isn't. I used to read his column regularly, but in 5 years, I have probably agreed with his sentiments 5% of the time. That pole-smoking jackbag.

[pawsoxpop]

Maybe Miller's not starting because they're trading him and Manny to the Twins for Santana and Hunter? Re: Shaughnessy, I believe he is a fan -- of Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan and "Animal House." Other than that, I don't know.

[NV in SD]

Never mind- guess he's just resting some shoulder soreness (yikes?)

"Pole-smoking jackbag"
Holy shit, I hope he reads these posts. Fucking hilarious. As far as him being a fan, I'd say that since they took away his one money making outlet by winning the WS, he actively hates thenm now.

[SawxSince67]

"That pole-smoking jackbag."

Da Kine has a gift for this stuff...never fails...pejorative conjugation or something...

It's like "donkey raping shiteater" from Terrance & Philip's Asses of Fire.

[h.b.]

Latest trade rumor supposedly 90% done:

Sox give up Manny, Shoppach, Embree, and Hanley Ramiriz
DRays give up Huff and Baez
Mets give up Cameron, Petit, two prospects

Sox get Cameron, Huff, and Baez
DRays get Mets prospects and Hanley Ramiriz
Mets get Manny and Embree

[pawsoxpop]

I'd trade Theo Epstein for Omar Minaya before I'd trade Manny AND Hanley for those guys.

[NYSoxfan]

wow, I'm floored by that... dunno if it is deja vu to my reaction to last year's Nomar trade ("We didn't even get Clement?!?"). But if the deal is done as HB outlines above, Theo has been told by Sox owners to do whatever it takes to get rid of Manny by the deadline. Just seems like Sox are giving up a whole lot for just a little. It must be really hard to pay a guy you can't stand $20 million per year.

[jimindenver]

I wouldn't go that far psp, I don't think. I suppose there are a couple of obvious questions about the deal though. Which of the two (Cameron, Huff) switches to LF. What happens in RF when Trot comes off the DL? What is the plan for 2nd base down the road now with Ramirez gone. Talk was at one point that he was the likely future DP partner for Renteria, K-Horn clearly not being the prototypical Epstein era player. It's also prudent to ask how much of Manny's millions are the Sox still responsible for? If the Mets took all of that salary on, well, that would be a remarkable coup on Epstein's part. I'm a big fan of Manny and am by no means eager to ship him out, but if you shed his entire deal, pick up Baez, the closer we clearly need, the RF you need for now (Huff probably) and hope Cameron, once put with the Sox hitting coaches, can get is offense going again, that gives you a really good hitting team with the closer situation settled. It also loosens the cuffs a lot when the offseason rolls around and you are building next year's team. Cameron only has one year left on a somewhat pricey deal, so he is fairly tradeable. Huff is low $, and if you can't trade a closer (Baez or Foulke) you probably don't know what you are doing.

[pawsoxpop]

But don't trade Hanley too!!! I mean, I know we won the World Series last year. But what if Schilling's ankle had gone south in August instead of October and we didn't even make the playoffs? How would that trade look now with Matt Murton (the other player in the Nomar trade) hitting close to .500 with the Cubs this year? I think it's a very good chance that we DON'T make the playoffs without Manny this year, and then you don't have Hanley Ramirez either? That's panic-button trading. The only X-factor in that scenario is which prospects from the Mets would the Sox get? I don't know much about their minor-league system, but the only player on the Norfolk Tides that would interest me is a pitcher named Scobie. The best hitter in their lineup is Brain Daubach for crying out loud!

[beth]

"you can bet he'll been greeted like Charles Lindbergh when he takes his place in left field on the Fenway lawn -- proving again that it's impossible to insult Red Sox fans as long as you produce."

I'm more insulted by this than anything any member of the team has ever done. god, why did i even read those excerpts? i'm going to have to go get drunk right now just to keep myself from spontaneously combusting in rage.

agreed, da kine, with the label "pole smoking jackbag." the CHB should forever be known as the PSJ on this blog.

[pawsoxpop]

Edes is reporting that the METS would get Baes which makes the deal sound even worse to me. I have zero use for Cameron, and with Huff instead of Manny in our lineup we can kiss the 2005 postseason goodbye, especially with no pitching help. But at least he doesn't have Hanley going in the deal too.

[jimindenver]

Trading Hanley would be the bitter part of the deal, for sure. However, it really does come down, for me anyway, to how much of Manny's salary do the Mets pick up. If Hanley is the key to Omar "I'm the guy PT Barnum was talking about" Minaya agreeing to take on all of Manny's salary, then that could legitimately be worth it. If we don't make the playoffs, it's likely to be because of the bullpen and not a drop in offensive production in LF. You make this deal and you fill the biggest holes you have, and get more flexibility to take on money during the wavier period in August for more bullpen help. Let me repeat, I'm a little conflicted about the proposed deal, because I love to see Manny stepping in to the batter's box. I like everything I've heard about Hanley (never seen him play), but he isn't a sure thing or else they wouldn't have signed Renteria for 4 years, so I'm not sure what to think there. I'm just saying that it isn't actually insane, depending on how much $ the Mets take on.

[NV in SD]

That trade sounds like shit to me. The only positive we'd get out of that situation would be $57 mil to work with over the next three seasons. Cameron's got some wicked slick moves in the field, but he's hitting like .260. Baez' value is being EXTREMELY overrated because of lack of quality arms on the market (remember Suppan? Sauerbeck?) Huff would be a good lefthanded stopgap until Trot comes back but, WTF? $5 mil for another .260 hitter. Thanks but no thanks. I am completely against us taking any other players off the Tampa Bay scrapheap.

That, plus there's certain language in the MLBPA bylaws that states that no single team can trade away two Ramirezes in the same trade.

[jimindenver]

Baez would be a must-include for me. I didn't see your most recent post.

[Aaron]

Does this proposed deal say that the Sox are determined to get rid of Manny at all costs, or does it say that the injuries to Trot and Foulke are much worse than they're letting on?

Huff and Cameron, combined, don't have as many home runs or RBIs this season as Manny. The proposed trade would leave a gigantic hole in the lineup, not just because of Manny's production lost, but because of the effect it would have on Ortiz. Be prepared to see Papi get Bonds-type intentional walk totals the rest of the season if this deal goes through. Seriously, why would anybody EVER pitch to Papi in a late-inning, pressure situation, if Manny is not in the on-deck circle?

While losing Hanley would be bad, Renteria's presence at short precludes his playing there, and they've got Pedroia ready to slide into the 2B slot next season.

[pawsoxpop]

I repeat, Edes is reporting that Baes goes to the Mets in this deal. So you're basically trading the best RBI man in the American League and one of the best prospects in your system for Huff, Cameron and maybe one or two prospects. Why bother?

I say if this is the best you can do, just stand pat. It's not like last year. Nomar was hurt and was not going to help us down the stretch anyway, so why not roll the dice? Manny will still get twice as many RBIs as Cameron and Huff combined, even if you substract the runs allowed during his Manny moments. Plus the guy is schizoid. Give him another week and he'll be a happy camper again. Give him another three months and he'll be riding in a duckboat down Boylston Street with a sign saying "Huff and Cameron are Golfing. This is better."

[NV in SD]

Listening to the game on WEEI- sounds like about 50-50 boos/ cheers for Manny...

[BigBri]

If any of you evah, EVAH criticize Sheffield again, you should be taken out to the wood shed and beaten bloody. Shef is much more of a GAMAH than Manny will EVAH be.

[pudge]

BigBri: But Manny doesn't overreact and try to kick a fan's ass for touching him. Oh sure, he restrained himself, on second thought. For that he gets a fricking medal.

[Aaron]

Manny: Petulant, spoiled, overgrown child.
Sheffield: Psychotic, roid-addled freak.

Apples and oranges....

Espn's reporting that the deal might be off, by the way. Apparently, the Sox realized they were about to get hosed, thought better of it, and asked the Mets to cough up a little more than Mike Cameron, whereupon the Mets called the traded off. Bullet dodged, hopefully.

[ghost of fred lynn]

**PETA gets them all. Check out this (not work safe!) PETA protest against a "lack of oral sex". (Nope, I'm not making this shit up.)**

h.b., I hope you realize that was a parody of PETA (since it doesn't stand for "People for Eating Tasty Animals." It wasn't the real PETA website

It was also a porn website too (if the ads on the bottom right were any indication). Got too much time your hands, H.B.? Or is there something else on those hands?

OW! Giggity Giggity Giggity!!

[SawxSince67]

The details of the trade are so disadvantageous for the Sox, I can only believe they are trying to, in another way, say: "Manny, we're trying, but..."

I've seen that the Sox are allegedly shipping Manny, Kelly Shoppach, Anibal Sanchez and presumably are expected to pay some of Manny's contract? The Mets aren't picking up all of the 60MM+ contract.

All of that for fucking Aubrey Huff and Mike Cameron? A Cooperstown bound, perennial Silver Slugger and two Baseball America favorites for these two C+ to B guys and some financial relief...no.

If the Sox wanted to ship Manny out for a bag of balls and two cups, they could have done it years ago.

[h.b.]

h.b., I hope you realize that was a parody of PETA (since it doesn't stand for "People for Eating Tasty Animals." It wasn't the real PETA website

Right, it's parody/porn, but it's not that much different from the real thing, i.e,

+ Naked PETA demonstrators wrapping themselves in giant meat packages

+ Naked PETA demonstrators running with the bulls

+ Nake PETA demonstrators at anti-fur event

So on and so forth ad infinitum...

But since I've linked to those stories previously, I figured I'd mix it up a bit.

For the definitive collection of naked protest stories, http://www.nakedprotesters.com/, of course.

[AJM]

//If any of you evah, EVAH criticize Sheffield again, you should be taken out to the wood shed and beaten bloody. Shef is much more of a GAMAH than Manny will EVAH be.//

Balco Gary Sheffroid is a steroid-bloated piece of shit.

[AJM]

And more to the point:

Anybody who booed Manny at Fenway last night is a moron.

That idiotic Cameron/Huff trade rumor is not happening. Manny may in fact be traded, but it would be for a good deal more than that.

[Glenn Quagmire]

**OW! Giggity Giggity Giggity!!**

HEY! STOP STEALING MY LINES!!

h.b., it looks like - heh - we have the same things in common - Red Sox and porn sites! OW!

[AJM]

Manny not in the lineup tonight, but Cameron is. Wait and see...

[Philly Patri0t]

What is the deal with Manny being pulled from the starting lineup minutes after the game started?? I have a really, really bad feeling about this. The kind of feeling every Red Sox fan probably had when Babe Ruth got traded to the Yankees. :-(

Let's hope it works out for the best. In Theo we trust. But if we traded Manny for two sub-par outfielders and a setup pitcher, God help us.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

A report from the front office during the game said it was Tito's game-time decision to scratch Manny, and as of now he's not going anywhere. I'm not too worried. About the only deal for Manny that would make sense is if we got some lights-out pitcher with a hefty contract that could potentially offset Manny's contract or like the top two prospects in the minors right now. Like Gagne or Halladay or Smoltz. Anything else is just a waste. If you're going to remove Manny's RBI production you ought to do something to seriously cut down on RBIs produced by the other team. And since it's not likely we're going to get anyone like that, I think there's a fair chance nothing's gonna happen.

Whoo, 6-2 win, back to 2.5 up on the spanks...

[Philly Patri0t]

Just heard on ESPN's Baseball Tonight that the Manny deal with the Mets is "99.9% dead." So we will have to wait and see, but maybe this is it. There are really no great pitchers available for us out there this year because there are so many possible playoff-bound teams. Can we do it this year with Wade "Boy does my rotator cuff hurt a lot" Miller, instead of another quality starter? I certainly hope so. I'll help hold the Red Sox Nation fort down here in Philly. Let's go, Red Sox!! :-)

[SawxSince67]

Sox obtain Jose Cruz, Jr...his Pops was a MLBer I recall from Houston. The mad three stripe unis and shit.

ESPN:Cruz won a Gold Glove in 2003 and had made only 10 errors total in his four previous seasons. He seemed hesitant and unsure when playing at Tropicana Field.

Uhh..no stick, possible phat glove as Trot's replacement...as with the Manny talk, no one has addressed the bullpen.

Hello?

Yes, I'm drunk...

[americantrotter]

Well Manny did the business. All the haters gotta keep quiet. That group apparently includes some more media members than originally thought.

[Devine]

Looking forward to what the gang has to say about yesterday afternoon, h.b.