Happy Bastille Day, Francophiles far and wide

Doug:
So the worst kept secret of the past week is secret no more: The Red Sox get anothah guy made famous in Moneyball.

 

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Bill:
I'm looking forward to seeing Chad Braford scrape his knuckles on the mound in relief, but pahdon me if I'm remain skeptical whether this will help the bullpen much.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, there's that niggling sense this was just a convenience trade. Epstein unloads the malcontent Payton and Beane, in turn, unloads a dead armed Bradfahd.

 

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Bill:
Shea Hillenbrand for B.K. Kim, anyone? It's déjà vu all ovah again.

 

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Doug:
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

 

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Bill:
Hey, I know most of us would rathah eat spoiled brie than read Shaughnessy, but check this line he dishes on Slappy: "Alex Rodriguez could hit five homers and dominate the weekend -- or he could get caught shoplifting Winona Ryder DVDs at the Copley Mall."

 

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Doug:
Ah, that's a most beautiful connection between the mental image of Winona getting caught aftah stuffing that ginormous purse with the now infamous Slappy with purse photoshopped image.

 

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Bill:
Yeah, the Curly Haired Boyfriend can still work some magic every now and again.

 

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Doug:
Well, you know what they say about an infinite number of monkeys and the Bibliothèque nationale de France …

 

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Bill:
Absolutely. Hey, I've gotta run. Gotta get Lisa the Temp set up to covah things while we're on vacation.

 

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Doug:
Ah, vacation, all I ever wanted.

 

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Bill:
Yeah, I plan to get so retahted I could be on the Bobby Brown show.

 

Comments

[mobosox]

As much as I love reading your stip everyday...I understand that a vacation is a must. Enjoy your vacation h.b. and keep the good work coming.

[SawxSince67]

From the Wilkipedia page:

"In 2003, scientists ... left a computer keyboard in the enclosure of six Sulawesi Crested Macaques for a month; not only did the monkeys produce nothing but five pages consisting largely of the letter S, they started by attacking the keyboard with a stone, and continued by urinating and defecating on it."

I too have worked in Wall St. Bond Operations.

Yeah, I expect anything we get from "Chadford" (from SOSH) to be a bonus. Ideally, there are better bullpen moves in our future. From where? No idea.

YOOOOOUUUUUUUUK!!! I'm pissed--they keep Gonzalez, but push the G.G.O.W. out the door???

Two flawed teams with great expectations--anything is possible over the next four days.

Piece in the NY Times about Papi. One anonymous bit of advice quoted: "dust him...too comfortable". That's the only solution anyone has.

Hope Bronson got some sleep. Heard the Avalon gig rocked.

Backed by John Cougar (Mellencamp? Nah.) drummer Kenny Aronoff and Alice in Chains bassist Mike Inez.

WOW.

There are AIC reunion rumors...obviously, sans Staley.

Sick.

"Ah, vacation, all I ever wanted."

DO NOT fuck with the Go-Go's.

Enjoy your time away, HB.

[scott12xu]

HB:

Great strip. Nice to see that photoshopped Slappy pic come back again. The day after the incident last October, that photo (regular and doctored) was all over the Net, including some funny "Mastercard Priceless" parodies ("10 year contract with New York Yankees: $120 million. Product endorsements up the wazoo: $250 million. Showing the world you're a lying, cheating, punk-ass bitch: priceless").

The CHB article made me chuckle too, I admit. Maybe if Slappy is in Tower Records again, someone could plant some Broadway show tunes CDs in his purse so when he walks out, he gets nabbed for shoplifting?

Another thing about the article, CHB mentions "He Who Cannot Be Named." What does the guitarist for the Dwarves has to do with the Spankees/Sox games?

I read the review for Arroyo's gig last night, saying most of the sold-out (!) crowd were females. Man, how tempting do you think it was for him to yell out something like, "OK, I want some audience participation on this next song. I want all the girls here to make out with each other" (or "show your breasts" or something like that). I betcha he was thinking after the gig, "Man, too bad I am married, it'd be groupie city for me tonight." And, boy, he better do well tonight on the mound or he will get his ass kicked...

HB, what's this about a vacation? The cartoon taking a week off?

[h.b.]

Thanks for the vacation sentiments. And nice pickup by SawxSince67 of the hit from the GoGo's second album. (Man, talk about a dissapointing effort on a follow up album.)

Yes, vacation starting tomorrow. (I may try to sneak in post tomorrow morning, but no promises.)

Ideally, I'd have gone on vacation this week, during the All Star break, and not this next one, but it didn't work out that way.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

H.B., Sawx, you guys are genius. I wish I had that line from the last panel last week when I was presiding over my friend's bachelor party.

Yeah, like all our experience with submariners has been spiffy, let's go get us another. And let's bring back closer by committee while we're at it. I'm hoping low expectations will be exceeded by this Bradford dude. And I'm hoping Tek, Nixon and Papi's bats asplode against Mike "just fade away" Mussina and the rest of the feeble yankster rotation this weekend.

[pudge]

Yeah, that totally sucks that your vacation ends up being on a Sox/Yanks weekend. C'est la vie, non?

[GaryGaeiger]

Sacre merde! Aucun Soxaholic pendant une semaine!

Ayez un grand vacaion, h.b.

[pawsoxpop]

Have a great vacation, HB; don't get any skidmarks on your Hart.

[Ice Princess]

I'm still saying ya'll are gonna love Bradford. His style is unhittable when you don't know it well.

Enjoy your vacation & know that we'll miss your genius. I do hope you'll at least be able to watch the series this weekend & the ESPY's, seeing as how the Sox & Game 5 of the ALCS took the top awards!

[NV in SD]

I think the jury's still out on the compatibility of submarine pitchers and the Sox. I guess "Chadford" will be the tiebreaker? (As long as he dosen't wear #51 <>)

Don't forget Schill's Best Championship Performance award (and Belichick Coach of the Year) Princess!

Have a good vacation HB- we'll keep the fire lit for ya.

[Bob Shiffrar]

Although I was happy to see the Sox win the "best team" award at the ESPYs, I'm wondering how the 3-out-of-4-championships Pats feel about it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think the Patriots have ever won that award. And I think we'd all agree that they're the consummate team of the double-oughts.

[Jeff]

HB,

Enjoy your vaca, and don't worry about us, we will be here waiting for you. Be sure to bring us back a T-Shirt.

[pawsoxpop]

If you haven't left yet, check out the sports guy's midseason review, which includes the most hilarious line about baseball I've read outside of Soxaholix this week:

"The Robert Blake Award for "Manager Most Likely to Become the Next Robert Blake."
Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Lou Piniella!"

[Ice Princess]

I think this is the funniest thing I read in that article... "Still, you can't award them (the Angels) the "team to beat in October" status because the trading deadline hasn't happened. For instance, what if the Red Sox land Everyday Eddie Guardado, or the Yankees trade for a center fielder, second baseman, two starters, two relievers and a new manager? That would change everything, right?"