Hold the pickle. Hold the lettuce. (Blown saves do upset us.)
A horrible loss and the first time since July 19 of last year that the Red Sox lost a game they were leading after eight innings …
Doug:
Hey, if the friggin Royals, and I mean the tea slurping inbreds of Merry Old England and not the ball club in Kansas City, can get a DNA test on Harry, why can't we get one for Foulke?
Bill:
Absolutely. This 05 blown save Foulke is a total impostah.
Doug:
And who the fuck is this "Johnny from Burger King" he keeps seeing?
Bill:
Evidently Foulke hasn't seen how much a Fenway ticket costs. Takes a fuck of a lot of flame broiling just to get an obstructed view seat.
Doug:
Maybe he's being haunted by that weird fucking dude wearing the plastic, three times too big head in the Burger King commercials?
Bill:
Yeah, maybe Foulke is, you know, "Waking up with the King" … these days …
Doug:
Something's friggin' wrong, that's for sure.
Bill:
While it didn't go down so well the first time, I'm willing to try the Cla Meredith CROISSAN'WICH again.
A friggin' grand slam to boot. How 'bout we just let Wakefield be the closer AND a starter, since the knuckler doesn't take too much out of him. Ever since Mirabile Visu came back, he's pitching better than Foulke could ever dream of.
Posted by: da kine | 2005.06.29 at 07:35 AM
Easily the best strip of the year that didn't contain a Michael Jackson reference.
Good show, HB.
Posted by: Sully | 2005.06.29 at 08:48 AM
on the pregame show last night, Eck was shitting on Kenny Rogers calling his stuff soft-salad and then he compared it to Halama-cheese... then he did this crazy smile laugh staring at Tom Caron.. it was hilarious...
Posted by: Ric | 2005.06.29 at 08:57 AM
Sad, sad last couple of days. I really thought they had it last night. I wanted to cry, but there's "no crying in baseball."
That plstic head Burger King guy scares the crap outta me. He makes me wanna cry too!
Posted by: Jennifer | 2005.06.29 at 09:01 AM
Burger King has a penchant for the scary or otherwise bizarre King, for instance, the King with the "hands glowing with magic powers" from the 70s. Yikes. Keep your magic hands to yourself. Then again, maybe the King can impart some magic powers back to Foulke.
Posted by: h.b. | 2005.06.29 at 09:14 AM
........And the new tern "Foulke it up"....
Posted by: DizzyD | 2005.06.29 at 09:15 AM
........And the new term "Foulke it up"....
Posted by: DizzyD | 2005.06.29 at 09:15 AM
If I didn't think it'd totally send Foulke over the edge and make matters worse, I'd suggest everyone at the game should whip out and don a BK crown when Foulke next comes to the mound in relief.
Posted by: h.b. | 2005.06.29 at 09:19 AM
I blame last nights loss on the goddamn, fucking umpire who made Foulke pitch 5 strikes b4 giving up the lead.
Posted by: Coolworx | 2005.06.29 at 09:39 AM
hb - I enjoyed yesterday's strip alot. I pictured
Steinbrenner ala Seinfled saying "It's go time" and chanting "Steinbrenner, Steinbrenner..." instead of "Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum,..." You get the picture.
Posted by: jaxtraw | 2005.06.29 at 09:54 AM
Okay, here the rumor I've heard a lot lately (message to Foulke and his lawyer: this is only a rumor; I can't vouch for its accuracy but I have heard it over and over the past few weeks): Foulke is evidentally going through a NASTY divorce. Acording to my bar sources, when the Sox are in town, he's out drinking until the wee hours every night. "Completey s-faced," a certain batender told me. Anyway, take it for what's it's worth.
Posted by: Bob | 2005.06.29 at 10:01 AM
I'm with Coolworx. There was easily four pitches that Foulke hit exactly on the outside corner, belt-high, against righties that were alternately balls and strikes, including one that would've resulted in strike 2 against Travis Hafner being strike 3, and the same for Peralta. Game over, Sox win. I know every ump has his own strike zone but for pete's sake, be consistent. Neither side's pitchers were getting any strikes called inside, and anything low was a ball. But I'm not bitter, oh no. We're still up a game and change on Baltimore and we got Wake going in this soupy, hot weather, Schilling's out for his minor league starts, Clement's coming back up in the rotation...those guys ought to eat up plenty of innings so the bullpen can get its shit together. I mean, damn, even Timlin had a bad game.
Posted by: illegitimate son of dwight evans | 2005.06.29 at 10:14 AM
Foulke is pissed at the fans for booing him when he blows a save? Please, Keith, get a grip. Everyone gets booed when they suck, at the Fens. Didn't Bobby Orr tell you that when he convinced you to come here?
Posted by: pudge | 2005.06.29 at 10:25 AM
Bob - anytime I hear crap like this, I get really upset. These guys are getting paid more money than I'll ever see in my lifetime, and they can't keep themselves from going out and getting drunk every night? I know I'd be fired in two shakes if a nasty divorce and subsequent drinking habit meant I wasn't able to do my job...
Posted by: soxgirl9418 | 2005.06.29 at 11:05 AM
"Of course I heard it," said Foulke. "And I'm not inviting them to my World Series celebration either. They have all the right. They can boo, they can cuss me and tell me I [stink]. Go ahead. If they don't want me to do the job, tell them to tell management. I've done a lot of good for this team but, you know, let them boo."
Wrong, buddy. I want to hear three words from you and three words only:
"I FUCKED UP."
Posted by: NV in SD | 2005.06.29 at 11:16 AM
whoa, whoa, whoa. since when do we have any evidence whatsoever for foulke having a drinking problem? that sounds to me like a WAA--wild-ass assumption.
and NV, i don't know how many different ways he can say I FUCKED UP, but he's been saying it all along. five different times they asked him "wtf?" and five different times he gave the same answer. "i didn't throw the ball well tonight. i'm not going to get into all the other bs. i didn't throw the ball well."
Posted by: beth | 2005.06.29 at 12:19 PM
And to top it off the Stinkees couldn't keep Baltimore at bay!
The only upside I can think of is that if Foulke has to have a meltdown period, I'm glad it's before the All-Star break. Hopefully he can come back in the second half and be lights-out again.
When Schilling comes back, I think we have to go with Arroyo or Miller in the pen and get rid of Halama or Mantei. I don't know about Cla Meridith, but maybe there's somebody else in the minors who can come in and get some guys out in middle relief. I think it will be hard for Theo to trade for relief pitching since everybody needs it and nobody wants to give it up.
Maybe the Mets will tank and we can rent Pedro for the stretch run? I know, impossible. I still like his salsa though.
At least the Celtics got high school phenom Gerald Green last night at No. 18, AND P.C.'s own Ryan Gomes fell all the way to #53.
Gotta go find a TV, it's almost gametime.
Posted by: pawsoxpop | 2005.06.29 at 12:29 PM
I haven't heard anything about this divorce/drink rumor, but I have heard lots of rumblings that he really needs surgery on his knee.
But all we know for certain is that he's not effective as a closer right now.
Posted by: h.b. | 2005.06.29 at 12:37 PM
I'd rather see the big-headed Burger King on the mound at this point. He scares me less.
Posted by: Tessie | 2005.06.29 at 01:07 PM
Well Beth, since that's the case, something needs to be done, because making the money he's making, you can't go a half season with the same excuse. I fully understand that he feels he's not pitching well and says so, but you're shitting me if you're going to let him get away with quotes like
"I'm not inviting them to my World Series celebration either"
and
"I'm more embarrassed to walk into this locker room and look at the faces of my teammates than I am to walk out and see Johnny from Burger King booing me"
We all remember the good times, but I for one am not going to let him justify his "pitching" and making bullshit comments because he was lights out last October.
Posted by: NV in SD | 2005.06.29 at 01:18 PM
Remy's saying that they might make Arroyo the closer if Foulke doesn't straighten out. I don't know about closer, but I think Bronson would be better in the pen than Wakefield who is best as a starter. He's already pitched his way in and out of two jams in two innings, but I don't think I'd want to bring him in to pitch out of somebody else's jam. Plus if you keep him as a starter, Varitek gets a rest once in awhile and Mirabelli catches. If you use him in the pen, you have to decide whether to bring in Mirabelli too, which means you can't use Varitek any more if Mirabelli gets hurt, which could happen and then you end up with Youklis or somebody catching. So keep Wakefield in the rotation and put Bronson (or Miller) in the pen.
Posted by: pawsoxpop | 2005.06.29 at 01:40 PM
//Well Beth, since that's the case, something needs to be done, because making the money he's making, you can't go a half season with the same excuse.//
k first of all? you say he's making excuses. then i point out he's not, and you say well you can't go half a season saying the same thing. pick your point of view on this one and get back to me.
//I fully understand that he feels he's not pitching well and says so, but you're shitting me if you're going to let him get away with quotes like//
what is this "let him get away with" thing? how am i going to "let him get away with" or not "let him get away with" anything? i have no control over this. you have no control over it, and getting red in the face and cursing the guy isn't going to mean you're "not letting him get away with" anything. he just told you himself with the quotes you excerpted--he doesn't give a crap whether fans are pissed. it makes no difference to him. if it helps you, great, but it's not really doing anything. he's going to "get away with it" whether we like it or not. if he's not, it'll be because of HWL/Theo, not because a bunch of fans bitched about him enough.
//We all remember the good times, but I for one am not going to let him justify his "pitching" and making bullshit comments because he was lights out last October.//
when did i say anything about last october? i questioned the assumptions that were being made here. never did i say you should or shouldn't be angry about it. but it's still pretty silly to be talking about things like "letting him justify..." you don't let or not let him do anything. he's doing it anyway. get what i mean? you and i are fans. we're outside the picture. everything else is marketing. in reality, beyond the tickets we pay for, it's got nothing whatsoever to do with us.
all i'm asking here is that we acknowledge that we DON'T have all the information, and therefore we are not really qualified to judge the situation from our vantage point. we can if we want, i guess, but remember when kevin millar was slumping last year and we all ran around like our asses were on fire flipping out about how he was stupid and a loser and a fraud and then it turned out that his wife miscarried their first child right around when his slump started? and how most of us felt like assholes after hearing that? we don't have the slightest clue what's really going on with foulke other than rumors and gossip and well-intentioned but misplaced anger and frustration. personally, the assumption i'm going with among the many to choose from is that it's something we'd feel like assholes for riding him about if we knew the whole story.
Posted by: beth | 2005.06.29 at 02:05 PM
Best line of the day:
"...and we all ran around like our asses were on fire..."
Posted by: h.b. | 2005.06.29 at 02:09 PM
Beth Foulke-
Thank you for clearing that up for me. I didn't realize that my posts on a fan site weren't going to affect the players and the game.
(sarcasm off)
It's called venting, hon, and it makes me feel better.
Posted by: NV in SD | 2005.06.29 at 02:14 PM
being a sarcastic twit makes you feel better, huh? too bad it has the opposite effect on everyone else. suck it up.
Posted by: beth | 2005.06.29 at 02:31 PM
As for Foulke, let's not push the panic button yet. As several of you have pointed out, there were some questionable calls that, if he got them, would have been strikes and he could have a save instead of a loss. Maybe we should send Theo to MLB HQ with a video tape to complain about the umpiring! On second thought, that would make us just like the Yankees.
But Wake was great today. Nothing like that nasty knuckler to cool off a red-hot lineup that just scored 12 runs on you the night before.
Posted by: pawsoxpop | 2005.06.29 at 03:46 PM
Yeah, let's hope this nasty hot and humid weather continues right into October. I don't know about the rumors of Arroyo becoming the closer - let's wait and see if Foulkie can turn it around. Before last night, he had a good stretch of games following a crappy start.
And let's all keep it in perspective. Last night was a REAL tough loss to swallow, but it's two games. We're still in first, and the yanks are still way off in the distance. Heck, we haven't even hit the all-star break. (Incidentally, I hope Tito takes Timlin to Detroit with him.)
Posted by: illegitimate son of dwight evans | 2005.06.29 at 04:03 PM
Okay, relax everybody. We're back on the winning track, with an offday and then the Blue Jays; as a bonus I think we miss Halliday this time around, so maybe we can sweep them. If these guys can figure out how to get some runs off Ted Lilly.
Schilling pitches tonight for the Pawsox. If he does okay, we can get that bullpen back in shape.
Posted by: pawsoxpop | 2005.06.29 at 04:08 PM
Maybe Foulke can spend some time with Phil the therapist from the Metallica flick?
Posted by: birthofasoxfan97 | 2005.06.29 at 04:27 PM
He definitely could use a session with Kevin Costner from "Bull Durham" on how to deal with the press. "I'm gonna take it one game at a time" etc. etc.
Posted by: pawsoxpop | 2005.06.29 at 04:39 PM
Sox 5
Tribe 2
Belli went Boom.
Uhhm...Timlin earns Save (First of 2005).
All is well again?
Posted by: SawxSince67 | 2005.06.29 at 04:56 PM
My take: they've won 8-10 with one of the losses sucking like a Hoover hooked up to a nuclear reaction and one simply a bad night. Not a bad ten-game stretch.
This message has been brought to you by the Friends of Burger King.
Posted by: ryan | 2005.06.29 at 05:06 PM
I think Foulke in a therapy session would be more like Roy Hobbs- rolling his eyes and walking out.
Posted by: NV in SD | 2005.06.29 at 06:15 PM
Foulkie's been awful at times this year, and compounds it with ill-thought comments.
However, Keith "04 WS shoulda-been-MVP" Foulke still gets a lifetime pass from me, period.
Posted by: SteveG | 2005.06.29 at 06:47 PM
Sounds like Mount Sheffield's about to blow again...
Posted by: Aaron | 2005.06.29 at 07:00 PM
Foulke also got my WS MVP vote, steve, which is why this season that much more frustrating. You know the talent is there. What's missing- desire, health, appropriate mindset? Whatever it is, he needs to fix it because I can picture someone else pitching in the 9th if he dosen't.
Posted by: NV in SD | 2005.06.29 at 07:10 PM
While the yanks and o's are rain delay does anybody else have a problem deciding who they want to lose more? I always want the yanks to lose but an o's loss would be nice.
Posted by: mobosox | 2005.06.29 at 09:20 PM
I say Foulkie will be fine. Someone said he was squeezed that night and they're absolutely right. Yeah, this is part of baseball - but what the fuck are you going to do if your strikes are called balls and then you have to throw a strike and it gets nailed? That umpire SUCKED and everyone knew it. Oh, but no one can say it. RIGHT.
I too have wondered if he's having personal problems. He doesnt' seem to have the same look in his eye..
Posted by: highinside | 2005.07.04 at 06:19 PM