Under Pressure

Susan/Circle:
So on Regis and Kelly our man Johnny Damon said he hopes the team can "relax" and then win some games you know because I guess they are all uptight and shit.

 

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Mike:
Yeah, those World Series trophy tours are fucking demanding both mentally and physically. And dealing with all that fan adulation? A dude can't relax with all that presshah.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Plus let's not forget the fucking presshah those Que-ah Eye guys put on all the playahs.

 

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Mike:
Oh, no kidding. That Carson is one bitch of a taskmastah. Now in addition to fielding routine fly balls, guys like Johnny have to worry about hair product and chest waxing and pimping their cribs and shit. It's a motherfuck of stress.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Plus, our poor, already uptight Johnny Damon has the added presshah of pleasing his new bride.

 

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Mike:
Yeah, she's all "Pick up the book signing pace, Johnny, will ya? We've gotta move these fuckahs because I'm not going back to the pole. You hear me, Johnny? "

 

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Susan/Circle:
I continue to mahval at the composhah and poise these playahs exhibit even undah the most demanding conditions.

 

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Mike:
I know, I just can't say it enough: These guys are supah human.

 

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Comments

[Moncho Arzuaga]

hey isn't that Tara Reid behind the Speed Damon? Can't be can it?

[DaveL]

Michelle Damon is starting to give
me a creepy Yoko vibe. Except she
seems infinitely more dangerous because
she's really hot unlike Yoko...

[SawxSince67]

I'm greatly displeased with this book tour shit.

He just got married...the WS stuff, in general...the grauitous memoir book...too much for a simple Center Fielder from Ft Riley KS, to handle...

Yeah, I bought the book!

F#cking hypocrite that I am....

[akaellen]

Johnnys' arms totally look waxed in that photo at the book signing

[Jeff]

Is that true? Did Damon's wife work as a stripper? Am I reading that correctly? I don't pay much attention to the "behind the scenes" lives of the players, but as a fan of these types of establishments, I love the idea she might have worked at one...

[h.b.]

Yes, I thought the same thing about Damon's arms. Total wax job.

And, yes, his spouse is a former stripper. Not sure where they met, but I suspect it was the lucrative Florida market. (I think I read that Florida is the strip capital of the USA. At least that's where all the best "pole dancing" schools are. I shit you not.)

[Jennifer]

H.B. Thanks for the laughs. I can't stand Johnny's new wife. She's everywhere. lol I knew she was a stripper. People kept telling me I was wrong, but I knew that I had read that a long time a go. lol Oh Johnny.

[AJM]

Doesn't this kinda remind you of the beginning of Major League II when the team in general has gone soft and let success go to their heads, and when Ricky 'Wild Thing' Vaughn has cleaned up his act, started wearing Armani and has a new predatory Agent/Girlfriend?

[Jeff]

Pole dancing school. Wow, I need to get down to FL more often. Montreal is great. I hope to get back up there soon. I have had some good nights here in Boston as well.

I am now going to waste about fifteen minutes of my lunch hour and do a search for pole dancing schools around the country. Wish me luck.

[h.b.]

Re stripper schools, I've heard that this one is considered one of the best: Pure Talent Agency School of Dance.

For a good look inside the world of exotic dancing, I recommend Strip City : A Stripper's Farewell Journey Across America
by Lily Burana and Confessions Of A Stripper: Tales From The Vip Room by Lacey Lane.

[Jeff]

Thanks for the info. Very funny stuff. I will have to check it out in more detail later today.

Let's go Clement, show us what you've got...

[DaveL]

Let's hope the game doesn't last too
long!!! I want the sox to be rested up
for the "Fever Pitch" premier and the
important photo shoot with verne "mini
me" troyer and carrot top.

[GaryGeiger]

Makes you wonder if there's some kind of "Pam & Tommy Lee" honeymoon movie from the Damon's honeymoon. Something tells me it wouldn't be the new Mrs. D's first movie....

[Gord]

Somewhere, on the internet, there are pictures of Michelle Damon nude.

[jan]

"Michelle Damon is starting to give
me a creepy Yoko vibe. Except she
seems infinitely more dangerous because
she's really hot unlike Yoko..."
I don't see how you think she is hot -she is totally gross. Her face is as homely as a dog.

I love the bit about the Pure Talent Agency School of Dance. Isn't that what they've been telling everybody? She worked for a talent Agency!!! I get it now!
Wow, Johnny I was your biggest fan. You are SEVERELY disappointed me. Well, you'll get screwed in the end, my dear friend. And not in the good way.

[becky]

i can't believe anyone thinks michelle damon is hot. she has bad skin, a terrible dye job, too small eyes, and huge fake ta-tas. I can't believe they gave her a job on NESN! and did you see the pics of her at her wedding? there was so much cleavage i expected her to rip the dress off and start stripping again

[judy e]

well, apparently guys like that kind of thing. For some stupid reason - although usually they won't bring them home to mom.

[Rudy at rudy's]

Michelle Damon is a ho and NOT ATTRACTIVE, men. ARe you kidding? Why didn't you all just play with Barbie dolls when you were young? Why marry one? She is really disgusting, johnny - jesus!!

[Brooke]

You girls are just jelous..Michelle is a beautiful girl. And they seem very happy together...so be nice.

[Vaughn]

Googled "Johnny Damon's wife" and came across this site. I saw them on MTV's Cribs today. Stereotypical gorgeous barbie doll wife. I wish I'd had the talent to play baseball (sigh).

I think I saw the Angels Darin Erstad and wife at a restaurant in Seattle a few weeks ago. I kept sneaking a glance at her, she looked so good. I kept thinking: who is this schmuck she's with? He looked like your average meathead. When they walked out of the restaurant I saw their little boy had an Erstad jersey on, then I remembered the Angels were in town, so I googled Darin Erstad and I'm pretty sure he was the guy I saw. So that's how an average meathead guy gets a wife that hot. You've gotta be a baller.

[highinside]

Brooke - maybe you find the 'ho with a heart' deal cute. I am really disappointed in Mr. Damon myself. I can't pretend to really know him obviously, but I thought I had a pretty good idea what he was about. Man, was I wrong!

I didn't see him as 'shallow' anyways. She's a slut.

[highinside]

And Vaughn: its not the fact they're 'ballers'. It's the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ so don't fool yourself. If you're ugly - get a career and make the big bucks and YOU TOO can have a shallow gold digging wife! Best of luck!

[Alex]

Hate to tell you folks, But Mrs. Damon was never a stripper... ever.

[highinside]

Yeah, she looks like a director of an agency, - or was it in real estate?? I've read both.

Make up a job that she did and stick with it kids. But you learn something new every day - I was never aware you had to buy huge fake tits to sell houses or "direct talent" ! Will wonders never cease!

Please enlighten us with the name of the agency she was director of (since you spammed every one on this page).

[nyycheese]

haha googled her name and found this.
saw her and she looks plastic.
we all are laughing at her already.
take her back please!
take him too does he ever shut the f up?