This city needs more condo

Doug:
Ah, coach, no offense but … get your fucking tongue off my knee already.

 

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Bill:
I don't know what's weiadah, the actual licking or the school district's response.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, it's like they're all, we've got nothing against the licking, per se, but, dude, you've got to watch those bloodborne pathogens fercrissakes, You could get sick or some shit.

 

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Bill:
Hey, looks like Fenway is here to stay. The Red Sox are trying to land their Monopoly wheel barrow on some new property around Fenway.

 

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Doug:
What the fuck is up with that guy saying he wants the city to crack down on the Red Sox if they try to change the zoning.

 

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Bill:
Yeah, the dude's got a jones for more residential space.

 

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Doug:
Fuck yeah. People come from all ovah the world to see the famous Boston condos.

 

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Bill:
Fuck giving the playahs bettah facilities. Fuck giving the fans more leg room. What the fuck we need in this city are more residential spaces for Pottery Bahn products.

 

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Doug:
And let's not forgot, the storied, historic rivalry between the Boston Condo Association and the New York Condo Association is the greatest in all of real estate.

 

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Bill:
Fuck yeah it is. And as much as I despise the New York Condo fans, I'll confess I think their neighborhood clap chant is pretty cool. "Tri-be-ca clap clap clap-clap-clap" … "So-Ho clap clap clap-clap-clap" … "East Vil-lage clap clap clap-clap-clap"

 

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Doug:
Yeah but nothing beats that time during the playoffs our condo fans stahted that "As-Bes-tos As-Bes-tos" sing song chant. That fucking taught those bastids a lesson. Not in our fucking condo you don't.

 

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Bill:
I'm so headed down to the Souvenir Shop at lunch to pick up some more official condo association apparel.

 

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Doug:
Dude, I don't go anywheah without my Fenway Civic Association cap. You gotta fucking represent.

 

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Comments

[chaglang]

Joking, right? More residential is exactly what this city needs. The reason it took the Sox 3 years to find a possible site is because there is a serious housing shortage here. It's nice that people come from around the world to visit Fenway, but we should be taking care of Boston residents first.

[chaglang]

So... what about Russell Crowe claiming to be a target of Al-Qaeda? He knows he's not REALLY the Roman Emperor, right?

[h.b.]

Absolutely. I think Fenway is taking up way too much space as it is. Blow the fucker up and put up a high rise of all residential space. Let the Red Sox move out to beyond 128. Who needs a downtown ballpark anyway?

Hey, is there a sale at Pottery Barn this week? I need some chairs and ottomans and shit for my new digs in Fenway. Great location. From my living room I can see the field. What a way to watch the game! And I don't have to cram my knees against the seat in front of me like those poor fuckers who actually go to baseball games. Now if we could just pass an ordinance to get rid of all those stinky sausage vendors. Ew. It so interferes with my aroma therapy.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

"Poor fuckers who actually go to baseball games"? H.B., you of all people should know that the people who can score tickets to Fenway these days are anything but poor. Cheapest tickets I've managed to find at Fenway in the past two years were 3rd row bleacher seats in 35 for game 5 of the ALCS (you know, when all the fairweather fans had written our beloved Sox off and gave up their tickets because the Lion King was premiering that night). Johnny Stockbroker with his pink-hat wearing, cellphone-talking bimbo on his arm thinks he's flexin his connections because he can score right-field box seats for a game against the D-Rays, meanwhile your average baseball fan has to explain to his 5 year old why they can't go to Fenway this year.

[h.b.]

Fenway needs to expand or they'll move to a new location. In order for Fenway to expand, the Red Sox are going to need to acquire more land around Fenway. Also, in order to expand, they'll probably need to work on some deals with the city regarding zoning. New locker rooms don't count as residential space. Nor does more seating and better seating.

But I'm not a city planner or anything, so I'll confess to being naive to all the intricacies.

And, for the purpose of today's strip, I thought it was funny that the zoning dude was so, "they aren't special, they're just the Red Sox" in his attitude, at least from the quotes that were in the piece. He may have been taken out of context and I may just be beating up on him for the sake of it. (That's kinda sorta what I do.)

[chaglang]

The Sox have been very cagy in never saying exactly how much more they need to expand. As a result they continue to hold over our heads the spectre of demolishing Fenway and moving to Nashua or somewhere. And as much as we all love them, it's a blatantly extortive strategy. They're using our attachment to Fenway Park as leverage to get their way.
Chances are, the Sox will have to build somewhere else if they want to add many more seats. The infrastructure around the park is inadequate as is. So why rebuild in the Fenway neighborhood? If the park we love is gone, what would we have left? The horrendous lack of parking, the traffic jams and ridiculous lines at the Kenmore T station. It's not like the ticket prices are going to get lower, either. If this is about competing with the Yankees, look at the massive tv deal the Yanks have along with the almost-total lack of debt owed by Steinbrenner. No amount of Fenway expansion is going to compensate for that.

[SawxSince67]

The best baseball experience is the Fenway experience.

Yeah, I endured the Virtual Waiting Room purgatory, but I spent $160 on eight Bleacher tickets: four for the Orioles and four for the White Sox. Of course, the total of Convenience Fees was $28. So, I do feel like a jackass in that regard. WTF?!?!?

One of the fellas always nabs Spankees @ Fenway tickets for all of us and never through scalpers/ticket “services”, so I’ll be covered there as well. Point is: obtaining a reasonably priced baseball experience is possible.

Obtaining reasonably priced beer is another story…

Think about it—rare is the ballpark in the middle of a desirable part of any legitimate US city. Shea Stadium is amidst junkyards and bus depots. Dodger Stadium is literally in a (Chavez) Ravine…you don’t want to stick around after a White Sox game in the “New” Comiskey Park on the South Side of Chicago…we could go on…

The Yankee Toilet neighborhood provides stuff to do after a ballgame. OK, just beer-related stuff and only for a couple of blocks…oh yeah, fistfights, too.

Jacobs Field has a fine strip of bars adjacent to it and is attached to the Downtown area—didn’t appear that people actually live there, though…

Wrigley Field, like Fenway Park is in the middle of a “neighborhood”. But, Wrigleyville doesn’t compare to the neighborhood around Fenway.

In my experience, Fenway Park is absolutely unique.

Honestly, where else can they go? The foot of Logan? Somewhere in Peabody just off of I-95?

No more knee-licking freak stories, 'kay? I think I need a hug after that one...

[Robert (00:05)]

you don't get the full aroma of the sausages until the guy puts the box on the steps and the whole thing tips up spewing water and dogs all the way down the steps.

[Robert (00:05)]

oh and competley off topic of the 'how green is my Fenway'. Has anyone else looked at the montage of 'pitching faces' on mlb.com

[joey]

Not that our Minute Maide park is anything to compare to Fenway or any other historical park, but we have beautiful town-homes on one side and china town on the other, and bar after bar after bar. Not to mention that Houston has more titty bars than any city in the U.S.A . That is a fact. But it is a very nice park.

[SawxSince67]

Been to Houston, not to Minute Maid...

In my US travels, I've never been to such a brutally hot and humid place as Houston (think it was in August, to be fair)--incredibly, folks in Houston are real pleasant, despite the oppressive weather. Made me miserable.

"more titty bars than any city in the U.S.A . That is a fact"

OK!

Sounds like a great bachelor party destination, actually...

[h.b.]

I can vouch for H-Town on all accounts.

[Moncho Arzuaga]

hey how 'bout coming to Puerto Rico any time of the year? We got titty bars here and it's humid. For all it's worth, I used to live in Lynn (yeah yeah city of sin and all that bullshit) and there are great spaces over there in the north shore to put a huge oceanfront ballpark and since it's the Red Sox, everyone would love to come and enjoy a new ballpark than to go to tiny Fenway. The Red Sox won the WS and for all it's worth, they deserve a new park. A sort of new slate. Leave Fenway for the colleges to play their home games and get the Red Sox a new park. Maybe BU would love to buy Fenway.

[Moncho Arzuaga]

Maybe Bu would love to buy Fenway to demolish it to build more condos and residences.

[SawxSince67]

Drove to Nahant once--think you have to go Lynn to get there--felt like I went through 18 rotaries. Might have been only two though...

Everytime I go to the Fenway it appears BU bought another building in the area...

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

Hey Moncho, got a thing about BU? :)

Everybody in Allston complains there are too many students and BC/BU/Northeastern/whoever else needs to house more students on campus...so the schools build big new dorms and people complain about the schools buying up property for these new dorms they don't get to enjoy...go figure.

[josh blue]

cant we just expand fenway and let fans live there? two birds, one stone

ill sublet home plate whilst i nap in the 406 club. get me a drink, boo boo. and tell theo to turn on the heated seats. chop chop

[Moncho Arzuaga]

hey ISODE, I love BU LOL I used to work there and I have great and dear friends there so if BU wants to build yet another building where Fenway is, let them do it. Besides the old-money and long time residents of Brookline they always bitch about them but they can't do shit against BU since it has the power and money to grab the city by the balls and do whatever BU wants them to do. BTW, this year's hockey team sucked big time.

[Boston Fan in Michigan]

Yeah, I'm from the north shore (Swampscott), good luck building anything around there. Not only are the zoning laws insane, not only is waterfront property pricey, the area is already very heavily settled. To find enough space to put a stadium, plus parking, plus a buffer zone of businesses so that the locals don't howl bloody murder... yeah. And it would be a blast trying to get there too, everyone in the state trying to jam onto Route 1A...

[Moncho Arzuaga]

well I'm sorry to dissapoint you Boston Fan in Michigan but I am an architecture student and I never take no for an answer. I believe Rt 1A should and can be expanded to something that can accomodate the thousands of cars that can go to the new stadium and besides there are train stations in Lynn, Swampscott and/or Salem that could be taken of full advantage by the fans. Leave cars at home. Get drunk as you can and you will not cause bodily harm to anyone else (unless its a MFY fan). Be as it be, there is a great lot of land closer to the city (it's in Chelsea but close to the harbor) that can accomodate a park, businesses and more condos. BTW, cool blog BFIM!! :)

[SawxSince67]

"I believe Rt 1A should and can be expanded ..."

With or without an eminent domain proceeding?

A "real" train to the Pahk would be tremendous, in any case...

[Carmine]

Sox should just take advantage of "Eminent Domain".

[Moncho Arzuaga]

there maybe 2 or 3 rotaries only...I mean I am not being provincial or anything but anywhere with a decently designed according to the times park would be better than Fenway...just hope to live long enough to see it built

[Moncho Arzuaga]

EMINENT DOMAIN - The government's right to acquire private property for public use. (just in case people didn't know what ED is). No way in hell the govmnt of Taxachussetts should build the greater Lynn Red Sox Stadium. It should be privately funded and the city of Lynn should zone for titty bars to create the new Chinatown...if Boston doesn't want it Lynn will receive it with open arms