Juicy Goosey

Doug:
Man, I'm so disappointed in Jose Canseco.

 

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Mike:
Because he's ratting everybody out in his new tell all book Juiced?

 

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Doug:
No, because evidently in said book, Canseco confesses he nevah slept with Madonna.

 

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Mike:
Get the fuck out! That's a major paht of his hero branding fercrissakes.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, muscle head says they made out in her Manhattan apartment one night, he claims, but that's as far as it went. Fucking sad.

 

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Mike:
Well, they claim steroid abusers  suffer penile and testicular atrophy among other negative sexual side effects. Maybe he didn't want to risk revealing his little secret to the Material Girl?

 

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Doug:
Good point. And it is curious, though, how Madonna transformed from the soft, Italian girl next door days of Papa Don't Preach, into the hahd and sculpted body beginning with the Vogue period. Wasn't that right around when all the rumors of her and Canseco stahted?

 

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Mike:
Hey, now, don't be stahting any juice rumors about the Sacred Holy Motha of Pop Music.

 

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Doug:
Fuck no! She nevah has looked like an East German Olympic swimmah. Hell, and I don't care which version she packages herself in, from Lucky Star vagabond to Cowboy Hat girl, or how she got there … the truth is Madonna has fahts that are a biggah deal than Britney Speahs and Xtina combined.

 

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Mike:
Abso-fucking-lutely dot com. Even morphing into her matronly "Esther" period of the present, she is the quintessential MILF.

 

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Comments

[Robert (00:05)]

I was listening to some airtime filling blah on the mlb radio a week or two ago and they were banging on about a 'world cup' of baseball type of deal team USA, Cuba, Domenican, UK etc. But that would never happen because in any global sports competition they nearly all have incredibly high level drug testing policies. So I think there would be a lot of guys with notes from their GM's or moms saying they couldn't attend.
Ok, on the other hand some will tell you that it's available to all and you should use whatever means at your disposal to win. Fair enough I'll have a motorbike, now lets see you block the plate.

[GaryGeiger]

Jose 'Can't-seco', and his steroid shrunken nadz trying to get busy with the well broken in Madonna? That's kind of like putting a golf ball through a basketball hoop.....

[Robert (00:05)]

I think that there is little chance the Guy Ritchie has been doin' steroids. I thought that Miss Madonna was changing her name to Esther some kind of Kabalic nonsense (that is to say she has the freedom to turn one of the oldest religions into a fashioin accesory).
http://www.lulop.com/site/appbyid.php3?id=1255

[Anonymous]

The question shouldn't be "Who hasn't made out with Madonna?" but "Who made out with Madonna back when it mattered?"