Flat front mojo

It may be snowing (again!), but Soxaholix everywhere are basking in the glow out of Fort Myers where Spring Training is in full session …

Bill:
Jeez, I'm so fucking glad that Murray Chass let us in on the secret that newspaper reporters go out of their way to create controversy and that they, ohmigod, manipulate quotes to distort the original context and meaning!!

 

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Doug:
Yeah, ol' Murray writes that all this "he said, Slappy said" stuff has become one of the most distasteful instances he has witnessed in 45 years of covering baseball. The horrah. The horrah.

 

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Bill:
Yeah, it's not like Murray's having a colleague at the Times like Jayson Blair making up stories and plagerizing shit was distasteful or anything.

 

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Doug:
Plagiarism, forgeries, half truths and the like are all well in good. Just don't be writing half ass shit about Alex Rodriguez. He's a five tool playah fercrissakes.

 

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Bill:
Emphasis on "tool." … Hey, if you need a break from wintah and yet more snow, check out this lucky bastid's photos from Fort Myeahs.

 

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Doug:
Hell, yeah! Check out El Tiante with some serious el jonque in the tronque leaning on that bat all Rico Suave and shit.

 

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Bill:
El Tiante is and forevah will be the coolest cat to evah don the Las Medias Rojas.

 

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Doug:
Now as for somebody who totally was born without a DNA strand mapped to coolitude, I present John Henry. Jeez, somebody needs to tell "Mr Rings What Rings?" that pleats went out of style last century. Flat front those fuckahs, rich dude!

 

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Bill:
Yeah, and can the corny hat while you're at it, Panama John.

 

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Comments

[SawxSince67]

Murray F*cking Chass enraged me on 7 different occasions last season...his "shocking" departure from the mob is refreshing, but I'd be a fool not to still expect bi-weekly anti-Red Sox columns...

"All the News that's Fit to Print" (NY Times masthead)...yeah, huh?

The Spring Training pics are refreshing...I guess Mike F goes down there every year...

Even if Lynn Jones is 5'8", Wells engulfs him--he appears to be a giant...you forget how big these guys are...that Grazioso character must have been really drunk.

Thanks.

[GaryGeiger]

"El Jonque in the tronque".....that is classic, H.B! Still, Luis and his ample arse constitute the best pitcher not in the HOF. Compare Tiant's stats to those of Jim Hunter

You're also dead on about J. Henry...looks like Stephen Hawking w/o the chair

I see everyone is making nice in the papers today with regard to Slappy. Only a temporary calm in the tempest, I'm sure. This guy puts a bulls-eye on himself big enough to drive his own inflated ego through.....how cool would it be, on opening day at Fenway, to have the Sox starting P buzz his frosted locks in his 1st at bat. Smarmy NY Post flack Joel Sherman did say it best last week when he said A-Rod seems as much to be running for Senator as he is for 1st base.
Murray Chass? Please. What little fastball he ever had is long gone, replaced by.....jonque

[Whitey]

Hell yeah! Heading to Fort Myers, myself in a few weeks. Freezing my ass off in Kansas, I can't wait. Cold beer in the sunshine!

Maybe I should buy one of those red jerseys after all.

[Moncho Arzuaga]

Esas fotos son las que llaman al verdor y al olor de la tierra humeda que invitan a jugar el beisbol. Vivan las Medias Rojas de Boston!!

Hey, what's wrong with red jerseys? I never understood what the controversy is or was all about. I happen to don them from time to time but my all time favorite is the St Paddy's Day green Red Sox Jersey (of course). Go Red Sox!!

[Tman]

Luis "Bayzboll has bin veddy veddy good to me" Tiant.....man I miss his windup, did anyone have a cooler head flick than Luis?

So are we going with the all star game as the over/under for when Jeter finally snaps and lays out Slappy Mc Blue lips? Can't wait to watch the NySlimes try and spin that one.

[RonF]

No, the thing to do is throw at Gay-Rod's knees. If a pitcher really wants to actually hit a batter without looking like you were trying to hit him, he throws at the knees.

Ah, "Looie! Looie!" What great days those were when he was on the mound. No matter where you sat in the ball park, at one point or another Luis would look right at you before he spun around and threw the pitch. Target? What target? The plate hasn't moved in 100 years, it's not going anywhere now ....

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

I'm with Gary - I nearly spewed my coffee all over my screen when I read that line about the whirling dervish.

[SteveG]

At Spring Training '04, Loooie T flipped a baseball to my unprepared wife... she was about to hand it to a kid next to her when I nearly tackled her.... Later on, she took a classic photo of Looie flipping my program back to me in the air from the Sox dugout after signing it.