Where's the Boink?

Caught fast in winter's icy grasp …

Bill:
I watched the Johnson press conference with the Yankees and couldn't believe what I was seeing. It nevah really dawned on me before what an abso-effin-lutely freak of nature he is.

 

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Doug:
And the pinstripes just accentuate his gauntness. You know, he just doesn't "look" like a Yankee, does he? Doesn't fit their square jaw, soapy clean, buzz cut image. And are those braces he's wearing?

 

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Bill:
Ah, for fuck's sake. This is why I hate January. Baseball is so far away that we're reduced to playing the role of Melissa and Joan Rivers to Randy Johnson?

 

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Doug:
No shit. When in the fuck is Boink magazine coming out? I need BU student porn to distract me from this cold, barren, baseball-lacking world!

 

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Bill:
Fuck yeah. They said January and now they're saying next month.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, c'mon. Don't bogart that porn. That Alecia Oley-Oleywhatevahthefuckitis is so fucking hot.

 

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Bill:
Quoting, "Oleyourryk is skinny but takes up a lot of space. She pulls her wavy blond hair into a messy ponytail. Her closet is a technicolor chaos of shoes, metallic blue pumps and metallic pink pumps with extremely high heels."

 

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Doug:
OK. I so just got a bonah.

 

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Bill:
I tell ya, though. I think I'll skip that erotic story "of sex in a Fenway Park bathroom during a Red Sox game." Call me a prude, but that just doesn't feel right.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, be kinda like doing it in church or something. Besides it's totally implausible. Evah taken a whiz at a game when there wasn't a line to the pissah?

 

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Comments

[Robert (00:05)]

he may have slotted into the mfy clean shaven mold, but that's nothing compared to the mould on those teeth, last time I saw teeth like that they were involved in a request for spare change, can he not afford a good dentist. He won't get a-fraud to swap spit in the shower through them

[DaveL]

He looks like one of the suspects on
"COPS". you know the tall wirey guy who
comes to the door with no shirt on.
Why do they always weigh 160 pounds but
all have superhuman strength?? it takes
like 5 cops to rassle them down.

[Boston Fan in Michigan]

He has Austin Powers teeth.

[Tman]

Sex in the Fenway pissah? Why not just lick the floor at Park Street Station?

Randy will fall apart like a house of cards once the media gets a hold of him, I can't wait.

Side note, I watched BOTH the MLB and NESN DVD's of the 2004 MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL WORLD SERIES CHAMPION BOSTON RED SOX last night, cried like a baby I did.....Especially all the crazy hand shakes. Gotts to love it....

[h.b.]

So Doug and Bill are the only guys in town who are looking forward to the Boink mag? What up with that?

[Tman]

First I heard about it HB...and she was supposed to be hot? Maybe my standards went up and nobody told me.

[h.b.]

"and she was supposed to be hot?"

Ah, dude, this is her in the tiny red panties on the mag cover: thumbnail

Maybe you need to take a little break from baseball. Seems to have clouded your mojo.

[Tman]

Woah..okay then...yes, I missed that picture..I was going by the picture you had linked in the cartoon where she's picking her nose. I didn't see the cover shot. Safe to say yes, she's hot. And bi- a two-fer no less.

Boink it is then..

[bd]

where were these chicks when i was at BU, dammit!?!

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

bd, they were in the same place as when I was there: the backseat of Enrique Eurotrash's Benz.