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Touched by Angels

Man, it's flippin' amazin' how the Red Sox World Series victory has totally afforded me the ability to chill the fuck out.


No shit. Before I'd a been all "Fercrissakes what are we gonna do now!?!?" Now I'm all "I yawn that shit muthafuckahs."


Yeah, yeah, rathah than "Randy Johnson? Holy Fucking Crap!" I'm all "Randy Johnson, the guy who got out dueled by Masato Yoshii in the '99 NLDS." [Laughs]


Meanwhile, somebody needs to tell the Angels to lighten the fuck up on the name changes. "The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim?" What in piss is up with that?


Yeah, the Valley Girls have only moved once but have changed their name four fucking times now.


What cracks me up is how the ACLU sued to get the cross removed from the LA County Seal, but now LA is officially associated with a ballclub called the Angels?


Yeah, and with a fucking halo in their logo. Surely some fucktahd is going to claim he's being unfairly forced to endorse Christianity when he goes to a ballgame to watch the Angels in a public funds supported ballpark.


Abso-fucking-lutely. There's nothing worse than being scared shitless by random religious iconography in public spaces.


Author's Notes
Doug's "out dueled by Masato Yoshii" is inspired from a post by 'Remagellan' on page 45 or the SoSH thread "Randy Johnson to the Yankees."


When the Angels were part of the Disney conglomerate, SportsCenter used to call them "the company softball team." Ah, the good old days.

Now Moreno wants to be the Yankees West. Look how his payroll has absolutely skyrocketed since he became owner. There is no better time to go in for the kill on the LA media market however, with McCourt's Dodgers ownership being so encumbered by debt.

Oh, yeah, the Johnson acquisition... ho hum. Everyone was expecting that. It's like wisdom tooth extraction; it will happen eventually whether you want it to or not.

The Skankees are not endowed with an "embarrassment of riches", they're trying to cover up their "embarrassment of big game losses".

I am writing a letter to Mayor Menino to see if we can't make it a crime to have a mullet in the city limits. Bettah yet, maybe Mitt can make it a crime to have one in the whole Commonwealth (sorry, Revere). Then we'll only have to worry about The Small Unit during away games.

But seriously, WTF is the Angels organization thinking? They have the third highest attendance in baseball, Vlad the Impaler, and a young, photogenic club, and they can't get enough ad revenue (their stated reason for changing the name)? Gimme a fahquin break.

Lurch is no big deal (or unit for that matter). Surely, his gruesomeness will wilt under the glare of the NYC press coverage. And he'll get no love from P.E.T.A. and animal lovahs...freakin' pigeon killa. Wonder if AmEx will have Lurch join Jettah in those commericals, but then again who would be the straight man.

I don't care if The big mullett pitches a no hittah on opening day at Fenway.

This is why.

(I am going to enjoy typing this too by the way)

The Spankees, proud participants in the greatest choke-job in sports history, will have to sit quietly in the dugout on opening day while we raise the Bannah for the 2004 WORLD SERIES CHAMPION RED SOX. That's right, the 2004 WORLD SERIES CHAMPION RED SOX.

What? You didn't hear me?

I said, we are goint to raise the bannah for the 2004 WORLD SERIES CHAMPION RED SOX.

Go ahead, ask me again. I still get all choked up typing those words......'sniff....

PLEASE, All Soxaholics: Read Bill Simmons on Espn.com. His present Hall Of Fame article as well as the link for one he wrote in '02 are fucking genius. BTW, I just put a picture of RJ in his pin stripes on the wall behind my bed. That way when I'm throwing one into the wife, as soon as I feel my toes start to curl, I look at it and the "about to cum" feeling goes away, and I plow for another 10 minutes! I just hope she never puts a Schilling poster up! I'd last 30 seconds. Lastly: TMan, you typing with 2 hands, bro? (not a masturbation reference)

Warning: self-promo plug.

The site's a finalist in the Best of Blog Awards in the sports cat.

If you feel like voting...

If you don't, no biggie.

I voted for you, but it doesn't look like your getting enough love from Red Sox Nation.....pony up kids! HB did this FOR FREE all year, the least we can do is help him get some useless award....

Until he makes a book of course, then he could actually make some money...

As of 10:28pm tonight:

All Quiet in the East Stand 43.21%
Dodger Thoughts 32.13%
Arsenal Blog 7.69%
Fishing Jones 6.33%
The Soxaholic 3.85%
Sitting Courtside 3.17%
On the Field 1.58%
Formula 1 1.13%
Ben Maller 0.90%

HB-Not exactly chump change, bro! BTW, have you ever tried stand-up in the Boston area? If you're interested, e-mail me....

Well, I used all my various e-mail addresses to kick you up to 5% of the total vote, h.b., but it's not looking like it's gonna be enough to get the job done...

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