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Tea for two, and two for tea.

So the self-proclaimed artiste Christo finally got approval for another wrap job.


Oh, for fuck's sake. That dude is still around? I thought he got eaten by a white tiger or some shit.


Nah, he's still at it. Got a lot of fucking shit still to wrap before his oeuvre is complete … next up, Central Park, in 23 miles of saffron-colored fabric.


Artistically, this arouses me not one whit. Not a single whit I tell you.


No kidding. If this whack-off Christo really wanted to make a bold, symbolic statement, he'd wrap the piss out of Yankee Stadium. I'd suggest a diaphanous fabric, perhaps in the color of A-Rod's lips.


Ah, yes. The evocation of a funeral shroud, fabric flapping in the Bronx breeze like so many hands of Slappy. That'd work for me.


What the hell has happened to New York City anyway? Where's the New York of CBGB's rather than MTV's TRL? Where's the New York of Munson rather than Slappy McBluelips? Where's the New York of Jackson Pollack rather than Christo?


No shit. I remember when I thought of New York I'd think of gritty Lou Reed. Now I think of Moby drinking green tea at a vegan cafe.


No wonder the Spankees have lost their edge.



No shit New Yawk has lost it's fucking edge. Last time I went (2001, maybe?) I got lost trying to get on the GW back to Beantown and ended up in Harlem at 2:00 am wearing, I shit you not, a golf shirt, polo shorts, and sandals. I stopped in a vacant lot and asked a dude standing on a street corner for directions. He was all polite, asking me where I was from, what I did for a living, and got me right on my way. By rights I should have been stabbed, robbed, and manraped.

New York, what happened to you? You used to be beautiful.

I apologize for the misused apostrophe. I was worked up.

Back in the late '90s there was the whole talk of how "New York is back" and "New York has cleaned up its act". Only problem was that it had just gotten gentrified was all. No more hookers in Times Square, to be replaced with 15-year-old teenyboppers screaming at Backstreet Boys. It became not the New York of the common man, but that of Jeter and Carson Daly and hype.

Hey, hb, no love for Kapler today? The man is headed to Japan for a year. We've lost one of our own. Sniff. Sniff.

Trust me folks, we still have the hookers and the stabbings, they've just moved to different parts... (And it's the Harlem in movies that you get man-raped in -- in real life the man-rape place is the BRONX.)

Farewell Gabe the Babe... My girlfriend wanted to jump your bones, and I was all right with it. (Plus, let's give it to the man for riding his bicycle to work every day! SuperJew, you will be missed...)

I thought Christo already did Central Park? Actually, I thought Christo was dead. Yeah, I guess the gentification and yuppification of the Lower East Side (and Times Square)is kinda sad, although I think some of the other parts of downtown are more fun these days. The other thing about NYC that's pretty annoying is the way absolutely everybody wears MFY caps since they began their late 90's run...and the vast majority aren't even baseball fans. I have a lot of respect for anybody who walks around the city these days wearing a Met cap...now that's integrity.


Funny thing is I woke up this morning with the aim of making the entire strip about Kapler "turning japanese" (I really think so!) but then went off on the Christo tangent and forgot all about Gabe. That happens a lot where I plan to focus on one thing but end up doing something else entirely.

I love the image of Yankee Stadium covered in a burial shroud! Kapler rode a bike to work? Are you talking motorcycle or bicycle? If it was bicycle, than maybe he needed to have joined Moby.

Ok, hb. You're forgiven. But just this once. So, tomorrow we'll get a good strip devoted to Super Gabe kicking the shit out of Yankee Legend Tanyon Sturtze?

::By rights I should have been stabbed, robbed, and manraped::

this... is glorious.

Actually, AJM, Christo did put plastic wrap all over a park once: Swope Park in Kansas City. My mother, who grew up there, had a piece of it that she's not gotten rid of because Christo is simply weird.

Seriously, Gabe the Babe rode his fucking BICYCLE to work every day. After that week where he started in the outfield for a few games and was hitting the shit out of the ball, they did a nice article on him (it may have even been CHB) where they talked about how others may be rolling up in their Dubbed-out Benzes, but Kap liked to pedal into the Fens. He would get the honks and cheers occasionally, but he said many didn't recognize him.

Of course, after he got to the park, he would go to the Gym and work out. Gotta love him.

"No Sex! No Drugs! No Wine! No Women!"

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