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I know the bottom, she says.

The hot stove is stoked and the fires inside begin to warm …

I've swallowed the bitter fucking pill and have resolved myself to four more years of Karl Rove's brain — But I can't, I just fucking can't comprehend a season without Jason Varitek's sweetness.


Right. Spiraling budget deficits? I can hang. Global hegemony? I'm Chillin'. 162 games without a girl's eye view of those two moons of perfect man ass? I may as well move to Canada.


The holy wonder of Tek's gloot. The wondrous ass strength like a man who'd driven dogs thru the darkest strands of Alaska making it alone.


Nine innings of Tek's crouch and all night we could taste lemons in the wind.


Dear Theo, please sign Varitek or shall I bring you the sound of poisons? This is rain now, this big hush. And this is the fruit of it: tin-white like arsenic.


Author's Notes
The 'like a man who'd driven dogs thru...' line is from Lifshin's poem 'Afterward,' and '... all night we could taste lemons in the wind" is from her poem 'Lemon Wind' both from the volume Cold Comfort: Selected Poems 1970-1996.

The title of today's strip and the line 'or shall I bring you the sound of poisons...' are from Sylvia Plath's poem 'Elm' in Ariel


hb: Great job! Sylvia Plath would be proud. Susan looks so hot when she's quoting dead poets from Boston. I can't wait to see what Belichickian moves Theo comes up with this off season. Strength up the middle, no? O-Cab must stay! Tek must stay! Let Nosemar sign with NY and spread his cancer there.

Even I, as a non-dude-loving-dude, can appreciate the subject of which Tara & Susan speak.

But apparently, were I, it would not be allowable in 11 of our fine states these days...

Pay the man, Theo. Pay the man.

You know, the only reason I can think of to keep the Northeast from seceding from the US and getting away from all those nut-jobs in the red states is that the Sox wouldn't be able to beat up on all those crappy AL Central teams. I guess we should stick it out...

Actually the "nut jobs" as you put aren't unique to the South. The original red/blue divide is by county and if you look at rural counties in Maine, NH, and even MA (where GWB picked up 4% MORE support even against native son Kerry than he had over Gore) you'll see similar support.

Likewise, if you look at urban counties in the South, you'll see Democratic party support very much in line with what you'd see in the Northeast.

Let's not forget, too, that one of the things that makes Red Sox Nation special is it represents the entire New England region, urban and rural, Harvard prof and Maine potato farmer alike.

Group hug everybody :)


I assume you're referencing the USAToday graphic from this morning that's garnered a lot of attention from political blogs. Don't disagree with the general point, but there's still a much higher percentage of those low-population counties out in the middle of the country. And for a graphic which shows just how far Democratic or Republican each state actually swung, look here:


A little tough to read, but makes the (perhaps obvious) point the winner-takes-all electoral college map misreprents the relative balance of support for each candidate within each state.

Okay, that's more than enough politics from me...I think I need the Hot Stove League to start up pronto...

As another dude, not normally into dudes, can say that Tek is a manly man with manly ways. If we were in a cell block together, I'd be his date(Come to think of it, is is A-chop!). By all that is holy, please let him be in the Red Sox dugout next April when he gets his ring in front of the Chokees.

Yeah, I wanna see the good ol' Hot Stove's gas line turned back on. Mostly because I'm anxious to find out which clubs bid for Zito and Beltran...two players who look good in red (except that Damon is locked in...but we can convert him (Carlos, not Jesus) to right field)

as a girl totally into dudes and particularly into red sox players named jason, i too cannot bear to think of losing tek and the way his sweet meaty man thighs crouch behind the plate

Convert Beltran to right field? Sounds good. I was sitting about 50 feet from Damon in last year's Division series against Oakland when Damon picked up a ball down in the corner in center field and threw out some fool that tried to go from 1st to 3rd.

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