The Red Sox become the first team in baseball history to force a 7th game after being down 3 zip …
Susan/Circle:
When the miraculously and obviously
on
Curt Schilling played the chin music to A-Rod in the 1st, I got pregnant, immaculately.
Bill:
What fertile woman of Red Sox Nation wouldn't desire such conception? The dominant genes of
the Hero
must be spread. An army of Schillings progeny for our future dominance!
Susan/Circle:
And if the seeds do not grow into Red Sox, let them become doctors who are as worthy of our adulation.
Suturing Schilling's tendon
was fucking ingenious.
Bill:
Our doctors kick ass. Our universities kick ass. Our football team kicks ass. Our fried clams kick ass. And now our baseball team is kicking fucking ass. I think I'm going to implode.
Susan/Circle:
Seems like the Yankees and their fans are starting to lose it. A-Fraud swatting Arroyo's glove like a fucking sissy boy.
Riot police called in
to settle the Skankee ho's and hooligans.
Bill:
No fucking class. And
Wilbur calls it perfectly: "Sox fans throw trash onto the field in Game 5 of the 1999 ALCS against the Yankees and are vilified as some of the worst fans in the game. Yankee fans toss baseballs during the Rodriguez-Arroyo incident, and they’re
confused
by what had occurred." What the fuck?
Susan:
So
it all comes down to Derek Lowe. Why did I know this would happen?
Bill:
OK Derek. No hangovers. No hangnails.
Susan/Circle:
And for the love of all that is fucking holy,
no Derek Lowe face!
Bill:
Right, we want the crotch grabbing Lowe not the nut fucking case Lowe. But if all else fails,
Ryan says Schilling has enough gas left to come in as relief.
Susan/Circle:
Oooh. The baby just kicked!
