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Why are we here?

Oh, boy, that ain't any way to start a homestand: Sox (and Schilling) lose to Tampa Bay …

Hello, 9-1-1? Yes, this is an emergency … I need to report a missing offense. Help me, please. I'm scared.


[Angrily] Seven times Ortiz or Mueller made the last out of the inning?!?! Why do I fucking bother?


I've been sick in the past — steadily and truly — and yet, I am sick now in a way that makes me want to say that I was never sick at all, until here, until now.


[Snorts] Maybe you caught Manny's fucking plague. What does that guy do in his free time anyway visit leper colonies? Hang out in hospitals? Drink from other people's glasses? How the fuck does a healthy man get sick for two weeks every fucking summah?


I love this from Francona Crotch: "It's a funny game. Because we didn't win tonight, there's no alternative than to show up and go, because that's why we're here." Jesus Christ this is the guy managing the club?


Yeah, so what's the fucking converse of that logic: If they had won last night would the alternative be to not show up and not go? Why the fuck are you here, Terry? Jeez.


Right-O. And, as many have said, it looks like Varitek has the makings of a future manager. He's got this shit figured out big time: "Every game is important for us now. We need to win a lot of games." [Laughs]


Fuck yeah. I feel a whole lot better now that I've had this perplexing puzzle of wins and losses elucidated for me. [Both laugh]


Author's Notes
Doug's sick speech is from the July 19, 1997 entry in Letters to Wendy's


great strip today, man. oh, those freakin' sox...

Sigh. This team makes me want to light myself on fire.

you don't really need to describe their actions (laughs, snorts)...the idea is to try to be funny enough that people reading do that on their own.

You do a good enough job that you can probably pull it off without the stage directions.

The "light myself on fire" line is fantastic! LOL.

Jason: Thanks for the feedback re the "laughs" "snorts" stuff. Part of the reason for that is in keeping with the idea that the site is accessible to those on a non visual device, such as someone on a cell phone or a screen reader. In such cases they don't get the images at all, so it reads very much like an audio transcript and/or a close caption. And both of those make use of detailed effects/asides in brackets.

Also, because of the nature of the clip art, where the expressions are always the same, I'm wondering how a reader would know the difference between something uttered in true anger as opposed to sarcasm or otherwise joking around? Perhaps that doesn't matter in the end?

Definitely something I'll be thinking about.

Thanks again for the feedback.

i love this site. one day, my roommate is going to walk into my room and demand to know why i am laughing and crying at the same time.

"minty fresh" was particularly good--way to work in one for the ladies ;)

"Also, because of the nature of the clip art, where the expressions are always the same, I'm wondering how a reader would know the difference between something uttered in true anger as opposed to sarcasm or otherwise joking around?" -hb

It's comedy, they're supposed to be looking for the jokes. Since your style is identical to Get Your War On! and some of Tom Tomorrow's stuff, you could look at those and see how they avoid it.

Basically, the idea in any form of nontechnical writing is to avoid exposition if it's unnecessary. Examples would include explaining a joke, since it ruins it for whoever you tell it to, and movies where they spend too much time verbally describing the rules of the reality they live in (like the first Matrix movie). It's one reason why people so admire Shakespeare (not comparing apples and apples exactly, but...) because he gets everything across with almost no stage directions, everything is in the dialogue.

Your jokes are funny without the exposition, because a Red Sox fan reading a comic strip about Red Sox fans is going to expect sarcasm, it appropriately characterizes most diehard Sox fans.

Get Your War On:

Keep the snorts and laughs. The strip is perfect as it is.

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